Go Against the Grain
by Adobo-chan
Summary: AU. Inspired by ichilover3's "Rapture". Old law deems that only a son may become the Kurosaki House's next leader. Born from this ancient tradition, a tragic betrayal and her mother's sacrifice, Karin is brought up as Kurosaki Kazuto, the 29th head of the family. HitsuKarin; IchiRuki.
1. Prologue: Family History

**AN**: It's finally here! Is it odd that I'm excited to post this? :) Well, I'm not gonna make you guys wait because I know that people have probably skipped my long notes anyway. Just FYI,_** I edited the summary a little bit.**_ So yeah, stuff changed as I was reformulating the plot. =D

_Full Summary_: Inspired by "Rapture" by ichilover3. Partial AU. The Kurosaki noble family is a house filled with both traditions too old and corrupt counselors abound. Their most prominent custom: a son will inherit the position as the head of the clan. But when Ichigo is killed and Isshin goes missing on a mission for the _Gotei_ Thirteen, Masaki is left in a house full of enemies with her yet-to-be-born twins to protect. Masaki must strike a deal with the Kuchiki House to save them and the future of the Kurosaki name. While one daughter will grow up normally in her own home, the other will be trained under the other family as the next leader. From her mother's sacrifice, Kurosaki Karin is reborn as Kurosaki Kazuto, the 29th head of the Kurosaki House. Hitsugaya/Karin, Ichigo/Rukia and others.

_Warnings_: I've taken elements of the anime and have fitted them to work into the story. So, if you don't know about Aizen's back story, you'll either be reading some spoilers or find it a little confusing during those parts. That stuff makes up the bulk of this chapter, but if you really don't wanna be confused I suggest finishing the arc. :D

* * *

><p><em>Prologue: Family History<em>

For centuries, tradition delegated that the head of the Kurosaki clan would hold direct ties to the _Gotei_ Thirteen's Fifth Division captaincy. So true to its words, Kurosaki Isshin was a force to be reckoned with in the old-fashioned, aristocratic area of Seireitei. Known as a captain whose strength was considered unparalleled to any of his counterparts, he was a strangely light-hearted fellow who smiled much too happily for a man with such refined power. It would be easy to be intimidated by a noble who was not only influential but entirely too strong, and yet he carried none of the airs that other houses seemed to boast.

At the top of the afterlife's hierarchy, the Kurosaki family sat in good company between the Shihouin and the Kuchiki clans, each group distinctly different from the others but all intertwined by good relations and blood-spilt pasts. And while the Shiba House was no longer considered one of them, the old bonds that tied each group to another was solid, unshakeable by time and space, law and will.

But it was a treacherous thing to sit at the top and pretend that one was content, as it made one look like he was merely lording over those who worked the lands without any personal effort. But that was a common misconception that the outside world held, not knowing that even the strictest of rules had regulations and leaders had others keeping them in check. The in-house politics weren't games that Isshin played well, nor was he one to conform to the ideals that his counselors pushed on him. When he was a much younger soul, it was a careful balancing act, trying to keep afloat when dealing with lower-level workers and warding off unwanted advice from the elders at the same time.

Long before he had even been accepted as leader of his clan, Isshin was just a young man and lieutenant beneath his father, too green and bright eyed to be ready for the perils of inner-house warfare. His father had handled it all so well, diplomatic in a way that he knew he would never be, much too rebellious for the advisers to find him responsible or respectable. But it was both his duty and destiny, to forever butt heads and match wits with these old men who were staunch believers that they were as infallible as their scriptures were old.

It was only a few years after he received the Fifth Division's captaincy that Isshin's father was pulled from the afterlife, meeting his end in a civil war that had raged terror on the unsuspecting inhabitants of both Seireitei and Rukongai. Unceremoniously, he was pushed into the position he'd never wanted, forced to fill his father's great shoes whilst simultaneously dealing with 'helpful' and 'grief-ridden' consultants. During that time, written proposals were handed to him left and right, some about expanding their lands, others about funding new investments in growing areas, and strangely enough more than a couple about arranging to find a wife. Between his inability to politely decline such offers and mourning his father's death, Isshin was at a disadvantage from the start, being walked over by everyone around him and, if he didn't regain his bearings soon, likely to become a puppet for the counselors.

But he learned that from every dark moment, sunlight would always break through.

In what was supposed to be the darkest hour of his weakest moment, a breath of fresh air filled his lungs in the form of a young, auburn-haired woman. While walking down the busy streets of District One, pleased to lose himself and his thoughts as he wandered in his plain shinigami uniform, he stumbled upon a small stall filled with fragrant flowers and well-manicured shrubs. But even among them, the most beautiful sight was the one who stood behind its counter, smiling pleasantly and answering inquiries with a twikle in her eye.

As if pulled by an intangible force, the large man made his way in front of the booth, eyeing the plants while desperately trying not to be caught staring at their owner. But it was a fruitless task because she noticed him out of the corner of her eye, more than once even, as she handled each potential buyer with grace that fit her pretty face. He would one day make the woman named Masaki his wife, doing so against all the ancient rules and etiquette that the elders cited. And she would accept his proposal with a bright laugh, before walking down the aisle in the same kimono his mother wore, the one every woman of his family put on for their wedding day.

From this new joy, he drew strength and confidence from his newly minted marriage, eventually finding his place in his everlasting power struggle against his own advisers. As he got more and more proficient at dealing with them, he likened their subtle tug-of-war to a peaceful day of fishing. Once he baited one of the geezers, he'd give them a little breathing room, letting the line draw itself out and allowing them to think that they were in control. But, just as every skilled fisherman does, he'd reel them in slowly at first, making slight adjustments to their propositions until it became something else entirely. But by then it would be too late and the elder would be left gasping for breath on the deck of his metaphorical boat, caught and wallowing in despair.

With the entrance of Masaki into his life, Isshin was living as close to heaven as one could get to in death. He'd managed to fill the position he was meant to take, as unexpected and unwilling as it was to be forced there, and had been lucky enough to find the one who was meant to spend his eternal life with. And just when he thought he couldn't be any happier, somehow she managed to prove him wrong.

Because, one hot summer day, Kurosaki Ichigo was brought into the world.

It was a grand moment of pride for Isshin, as he took a hold of the son who would one day inevitably take his place. A small but strong baby boy looked up at him, brown eyes curiously blinking at the lightly bearded stranger with a frown marring his chubby face. From the futon, Masaki's eyes smiled at him, her body tired but visibly overjoyed as every new mother was. And from that moment on, Isshin knew there was no more beautiful moment in one's existence than this.

As the decades flew by, there was bliss in the Kurosaki House. The sound of a young boy's laughter blended into the deep bass of a young shinigami and soon-to-be master of the house. Kurosaki Ichigo was everything that their family needed him to be: strong, intelligent, willful but receptive to criticism and yet so sure of himself. He would be all the things his father was not, someone worthy of taking over the responsibilities of the people who served him and maintaining the reputation the elders so desperately wished to uphold.

If only they knew just how fast their perfect world could break into small, unidentifiable pieces.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe… Aizen-<em>fukutaichou<em>…"

Cradling the wound in his right side, the captain-robed shinigami used a bit of _kidou_ to prevent any more bleeding but couldn't do much else. There was a traitor in their midst and he had escaped his captain only moments before, using the element of surprise to prevent the older man from following. With a curse, Isshin knew he had to inform Central 46 and Genryuusai-_soutaichou_ before he put enough distance between them. But with the nearly deadly blow dealt, he could only go so far so fast.

Stumbling onto the threshold of their ancient mansion, he collapsed to his knees as he barked for help. The clear, pale moon was the only source of light present and it shone down on him like a beacon, alerting the caretakers of the home. Soon the entire garden was overrun with the staff, clambering to get their master into the house and nurse that wound of his. In spite of the lightheadedness overtaking his brain, Isshin knew that Masaki was nearby, could feel her and two other presences with her. It comforted him to know she was still safe.

As soon as she was in the room, Masaki was at his side, clutching his hand and holding in tears of both joy and sorrow. He gave her a weak smile that belied his pain, brushing away the salt with the pad of his thumb. No tears, he had once told her. He would never be the one to make her cry, not if he could help it, and if there would ever be a time when he broke that vow, then he was sure to be the one to wipe them away. It was the least he could do, as she let him lead her out of her comfortable life in _Rukongai_ and into the danger that was Soul Society.

"What happened? Where's Ichigo?" Masaki asked, voice cracking when caught it in her throat. As she looked at him with wet eyes, she vaguely noticed how small her hands were as they were held tight by one of his. The way his face fell made her stomach drop in turn, as she bit back a sob, determining the worst kind of truth. It was only the flexing of his fingers that kept her from breaking down, fully and uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry, Masaki. He's… _gone_," he murmured hoarsely, not sure how he was going to put the situation into things as useless as words. As the Fifth Squad's third seat, Ichigo had been immensely powerful even for his rank and age, likely because of his early training and nearly God-like talent. But that part of their lives was over now, as Isshin had watched his own flesh and blood be cut down right before his eyes, powerless to stop that blade from claiming his soul. Tears gathered at the edges of his vision, trying to prevent the replay of how Aizen had ruthlessly torn into the young man's back, turning his _shihakusho_ blood red and staining it with unforgivable sin.

"What do you mean? Where is he?" she demanded, trails of water falling down her face without ceremony. Her body shook while she waited for him to explain, feelings of dark rage and unbearable sadness overtaking her, things she'd never harbored before this moment. But this was her son, her little boy who had done nothing but love and protect all that he could, and she would die for him if she had to, pay whatever price anyone demanded. But it wasn't so simple, and deep down she knew that Isshin was breaking this as gently as he could.

In a quiet, pained voice, the ebony-haired Kurosaki told her of his vice captain's experiments, of how he began turning regularly shinigami into hollows to discover a way to evolve beyond both. He had been doing it for a long while now, if his instincts were telling him correctly, and while he had suspected the brown-haired man he hadn't thought his treason had gone this far. And this incident tonight, where he brought down a group of captain-level shinigami and pinned it all on the Twelfth Squad's Urahara-taichou before fleeing with the young genius Ichimaru Gin and Ninth Squad's Kaname Tousen, he told her of Aizen's last experiment, the one that would change their family forever.

He'd killed a weakened Ichigo while he was undergoing hollowfication.

"Yoruichi-_taichou_ has already opened the gate to the real world for Urahara-_taichou_ and the _Kidoushu_'s Tessai-san. Ichigo and the others… I know where they are. I'll send the Fourth to retrieve them." The hitches in his voice gave way to the tumble of emotions, as his pain was relieved by the family doctor but his grief-riddled anxiety mounted with each word. He had lost his only son to a monster, a man he was supposed to trust with his life, someone he knew he could forgive. His own mistake had cost him dearly. And although he had never been the type to demand vengeance, Isshin wanted his retribution, for his family and for himself.

"You'll follow Aizen, won't you?" It was phrased as a question but it sounded more like an accusation. When the _Gotei_ Thirteen and Central 46 got word, they would dispatch a team to go after the traitor. And of course it meant that he would lead them, to bring back his former _fukutaichou_ and have justice served. Or if not that, then return with his head in hand as proof of his death. There was nothing else to offer the treasonous bastard. Lifting his hand to his wife's protruding abdomen, he knew that there was much more riding on this mission than any other before. He had two more little lives to protect and somehow they made all the difference.

* * *

><p>When Isshin and his group left days later, Masaki knew that there was something going on in the depths of the noble Kurosaki House. It wasn't so much that any of its inhabitants changed or acted differently, but somehow the atmosphere had, as if something dark and ominous was waiting in the corner of every room, watching her every move. It didn't sit well with her, as she held her stomach and prayed for the safe birth of her children.<p>

While she might have been the lady of the grounds, she wasn't ignorant enough to believe she had any true power without her husband. If she had come from a fellow aristocratic family, then she'd be sure to have a few allies and thus no harm would reach her, not in her own home at least. But she was just a poor soul from the Second District, an average girl if one stripped away her marriage and title, helpless to the ones who had control in this small but affluent society.

So she kept her ears open, as she listened and watched discretely, finding things out from the few people who she could trust. Murmurs of upheaval were coming from certain counselors, discontent with being left by their leader and the loss of their heir. In order to prevent questions, the elders had cited Ichigo's death as lost in combat and so he was honorably discharged from his division. They'd held an extravagant procession, one she knew her conservative son wouldn't have liked or approved of, touting him as a well-loved hero of the Great Noble Houses.

As she sat and watched the coffin be lowered into the ground, she couldn't stop the wave of hopelessness that overtook her. There was no body in that casket, no bodies to be found at all when the _Gotei_ Thirteen arrived at the patch of forest, led by her husband. The news delivered a painful stab to her bleeding heart, knowing she wouldn't even get to say goodbye to Ichigo as she deserved to, needed to. And even more painful was the fact that her son's funeral was a lie, a fabrication to cover up another's misdeeds but keep the facet of the honorable, old house. Listlessly staring as she cried silent tears, she wondered just how many more lies she would have to keep and how many secrets would be revealed before this living nightmare was over.

Unfortunately for Masaki, there would be many, many more to come.

* * *

><p>"Welcome, Kurosaki-san. To what do I owe the pleasure?" The baritone of the masculine voice was pure dignity, an in-born trait that had manifested itself as soon as he passed his young, adolescent-esque years. She turned to greet the younger man, as she tried to sit comfortably and prevent her usual fidgeting. It was a habit that annoyed a number of the advisors, who wondered why the Kurosaki-by-marriage couldn't project herself in a way fitting to her position. She usually just smiled blandly in response, as if she didn't hear them in the first place.<p>

"The pleasure is all mine, Byakuya-san. I suppose I can't call you 'Byakuya-kun' anymore. You've grown so much since I last saw you," she tittered sweetly, as if a mother hen to her chick. Although older than Ichigo by half a century, there was something very composed about the other man's aura. Where her son had been loud, brash and forceful, Kuchiki Byakuya was poised and elegant in his manner, two very different types of people but who had once shared the same fate.

"I do not mean to push, but I have a feeling that it is not small talk that has brought you here, Masaki-san." Yes, very wise indeed. Her husband had that same foresight as well, had used it against a number of his peers whenever some sort of venture was placed in front of him. That ability to read people was an uncanny thing that only the upper crust seemed to have.

"You're right, of course," she nodded, fisting her fingers in her light-colored kimono. It was difficult with her belly stretched the way it was, but it wouldn't be much longer. Soon her twins would come into the world, but without a leaf of protection over their heads. While she could afford to give them some, Masaki wasn't naïve. Her children would get in the way of the plans that were being concocted in her own home and it was up to her to defend them, no matter what the consequences might be. Taking a deep breath, she continued as she looked the placid man in the eye. "I've come to make a deal, one that would benefit both of our families greatly and ensure the safety of my twins' futures."

"I believe that it's usually the counselors who have domain over the Kurosaki household's dealings while Kurosaki-taichou is away." She knew that he was testing her, a bit of bait to see if she'd sink or swim under a bit of force. The dark-haired man knew very well that she was doing something out of her capabilities, essentially going against every tradition he had learned so well. But he respected the older woman before him, knew she was neither a wilting flower nor a marionette for show. She had raised Ichigo much the same way, he thought, his mind turning to his little sister-in-law and her one-time childhood friend. Even months after his untimely demise, Byakuya recalled more than a few nights when Rukia cried in the silence of her room, praying for the orange-haired boy to come back, and it did more than break his heart.

"They can't be the ones doing business if I'm the one they're targeting."

He raised a perfect brow in question, but no other gestures gave him away. "Is someone trying to harm you, Masaki-san?"

"Not me," she replied vaguely, but then she gestured to her pregnant belly and Byakuya knew. There had been some influx of gossip amongst the elders of the royal houses and it seemed that the Kurosaki House was especially unstable given the counselors' clashing wills and lack of sovereignty. Without one single ruler to guide the decisions and halt the growing conflict, there was talk of shifting the power away from those with blue blood and more towards its elected officials. Just the thought of it left a bad taste in the young man's mouth.

If such a thing did occur, it would mean Masaki and her children would be in the advisors' way, especially if one was born a boy. As quoted in antiquated but unchanged law, only the males of the Kurosaki House were given the authority to rule, figureheads of strength to the public and brought up to be masters of negotiation to aid the villagers and farmers on their lands. A new heir meant hope for the families' followers, and if one planned revolution, hope needed to be crushed completely before a new system could be fully instilled and accepted.

He nodded slightly to signal that he understood. "What have they done to you?"

"Very little, but not for lack of trying," she spoke softly, a protective hand going over her yet-to-be ripened young. When her first child had been ripped out of her hands, it had been hell. No, that wasn't right, it was _still_ hell, to live every day knowing that Ichigo's childishly mature face would never smile at her again, that his voice would never come home to greet her or wish her good night. Although there was some comfort in knowing that he was at peace elsewhere, it didn't change the fact that he was gone, dead to all that knew him and never to be known by his own siblings. One had to learn that there would always be pain in sacrifice, and now it was her turn to give up both her and her childrens' futures to protect them from terrors still not known.

She explained to him the incidences of almost falling when climbing down stairs, as if pushed by an invisible body. There had also been an attempt to poison her food; she'd been too melancholy to have dinner that night, only to find that it had burned through the bowl a mere fifteen minutes later. And even while she was cautious, Masaki knew there was someone watching her at all times, their eyes searing into her back, almost to the point where she couldn't be alone anymore. She was so close to her due date that it anything happened to her she had no doubt that her children would be harmed as well, and the Kurosaki House would suffer the aftershocks.

"Then what do you propose, Masaki-san?" Byakuya asked gently, his tone respectful and caring despite his usual aloofness. She had no one to trust in her own home and even fewer allies outside. If she wanted her children to have a chance at life, then she knew that this was it, a bond with another powerful clan to protect her own. Until her twins were strong enough to take care of themselves, they would always be targets just waiting to be picked off by some lowly hired hand.

"My children are both girls," she said, lifting her hand to prevent him from interrupting her. "No, I haven't asked the doctor but a mother knows these things. They will both be girls, as different as night and day, and they will be the only ray of hope in this situation." She patted her abdomen, as if to soothe them through her skin. "But you and I both know that the Kurosaki's only allow male heirs. Until their father returns, they will be powerless in that wretched house, and when that time occurs, who knows how much will have changed?"

"What exactly are you asking of me, Masaki-san?" he demanded again, a feeling of dread coming up and into his gut. He knew that this woman was gutsy, probably more so than even that airheaded husband of hers, but he couldn't see her endgame. As she smiled slyly, the feeling began to morph into what he acknowledged as fear of the one across from him, a devious side he hadn't known existed coming out to play. He would've never pegged the beauty as callous until now.

"You will help raise one of my girls as heir to the Kurosaki House." There was no hesitation, no lilt of pleading, only the sweetness of her voice bathed in command. His eyes narrowed, unused to hearing such a tone from anyone that wasn't his grandfather but then he caught the look in her eyes. The usually calm and complacent woman before him had the eyes of a tiger, fierce and ready to do battle, not unlike her deceased son's. It almost made him back away, but he wouldn't be scared out of his own estate by a mere glare. While a worthy opponent, Kurosaki Masaki was still only a normal soul.

"Let's say I do help you, what would the Kuchiki family get in exchange?" He eyed her with interest, wondering what she could possibly barter for such an outrageous trade. She had no access to the wealth of her family, not without the elders finding out, and had very little to her name even before marriage. He'd never been one to manhandle a woman, but she had to know that business was business, especially with the Kuchiki family's leader.

"An arranged marriage," she replied after a brief pause, though it looked as if it pained her to do so. "Neither of my twins will legally be able to take the position as leader of their house, but one of their sons will. As long as she's not discovered, one of my daughters will keep the counselors at bay and continue family tradition. The other will be raised in our home and will eventually have children, including the next heir. It would strengthen our bonds and you may find that many of our connections are to your liking."

Byakuya couldn't help the frown of concentration, as he weighed his options carefully. While it was certainly an interesting proposition, it wasn't without flaws. He had his eye on a number of resources that the Kurosaki House had access to because he wished to maintain his lands and meet his people's needs as best as he could. But there was also the risk involved, such as if her daughter was exposed before another heir was born or some other unfortunate case. Centuries were a long time, and even the most well hidden secrets came to light in the end. Just how long would he be able to keep up the pretense and, truly, did he even want to?

But then the thought of Kurosaki Ichigo, the young man who had left his little sister behind, came to him and he knew how much Rukia would want this. To care for her best friend's siblings might just heal the void in her heart, the one that was nowhere close to being filled, as it slowly consumed her inside-out. And if nothing else, the broken Kurosaki House deserved a chance as well and he was the only one in the right position to offer the assistance, no matter how unlike him the action was.

Extending his hand to the noblewoman, he took hers as treaty for her word.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: Hmm. Not completely satisfied with my writing but I did like the first chapter overall. Maybe I'll do some major editing later. And, yes, I have killed Ichigo but you know I didn't really. Where would the IchiRuki go? :) Not much to say, but if you guys are enjoying please leave a review/favorite it/alert this story.

I won't give anything away plot-wise (except that, yes, we do meet Karin and Toushirou in the next part~) but any critiques about the flow of the story/writing are welcome. It's a little shaky but I'm finding my voice slowly but surely and I appreciate your patience. Also, in case anyone is wondering, I'm gonna put a lid on my HitsuKarin one-shots and short stories for now because I have about seven picking at my brain and I don't think I can work on this and those at the same time. For some reason, my Karin!muse is hyperactive and overly involved in my life so I'm shooting her with an anesthetic and knocking her out for now. LOL

Until next time, everyone!


	2. Chapter One: Childhood

**AN**: I'm glad everyone enjoyed the prologue. It was long, I agree, but I can't just jump headfirst into a story as complicated as this one without a solid foundation. And yes, this story is going to have lots of twists and turns, I guarantee it. Because if you guys can guess what's gonna happen next, then I'm not working hard enough. XD

**the white snowball**: I'm very glad you're enjoying the story. Unfortunately I can't answer all of your questions because 1) I'd give away a good chunk of my story and 2) where's the fun in that? =D What I can tell you is that I'm not basing this story completely on _Bleach_. _Bleach_ belongs to Ichigo so I'm not set out to tell you guys a story you already know. I'm trying to put a new spin on it, so things will either be slightly changed or very different. ^^ As for a Karin-Soi Fong friendship, I'm not one-hundred percent sure I could write that the way it deserves to be done. I am familiar with Karin, Toushirou, Ichigo and Rukia's personalities, which is why I tend to make them my main characters (and cuz they're my two favorite couples). I feel like Soi Fong would come out strange if I wrote her and I wouldn't do that to you guys. Thank you so much for your review though. It was nice to see someone thinking as hard about this storyline as me. Haha.

**Hak**: Thank you for catching that! I fixed it already. =D

_Warnings_: This is the getting-to-know-Karin chapter. That's it. Oh, and I have to do my bad estimation of how long this story will be. Hmm... I'm thinking fifteen chapters. Soooo that means it'll probably be twenty or so. LOL!

Also, thanks to **Hakkuchi**, I've realized that some people might not get that I've made Rukia younger than Renji and Ichigo the same age as him. It's mostly because I want her to kind of grow up with Karin and it's not easy to do if she's a full-time shinigami. Sorry for the confusion! :D

* * *

><p><em> Chapter One: Childhood<em>

_[Thirty Years Later]_

"Not enough power. Again!"

Biting back a scowl, the dark-haired child raised the wooden sword and swung, slipper-clad feet moving with underappreciated grace. Dressed in a white top and blue _hakama_ pants, the overhead strike was accomplished perfectly, as the trained glare refused to leave the young Kurosaki's features. But despite being well over a few decades, the rounded face was that of an eleven year old's, cropped, dark hair matching even darker eyes that did nothing to tone down the look of natural boredom and barely contained overconfidence.

But when one was heir to the Kurosaki House, one could pretty much be anything they wanted.

"'Nii-sama, there is a message for you." The alto voice was distinctly feminine and well known to both, as they turned towards the source. Kuchiki Rukia was dressed in her red and white uniform, seemingly to have returned from the Academy just moments before, as her graduation date loomed closely along the horizon. Her older brother nodded before leaving his protégé unattended, not saying whether to continue practicing or to take a break. The young heir went with the latter.

"How was class, Rukia-nee-chan?" The grin was large and juvenile, completely unable to hide the emotions that those of the upper class were so apt at doing. The little gesture made something crumble in her chest, a wall built from old anguish that needed a little longer to fully resolve. Rukia would never tell the younger one that whenever she saw that trademark look she was immediately reminded of another Kurosaki, one with light hair, expressive eyes and a temper that matched her own, a friend she didn't think she'd ever truly replace. Berating herself for getting caught up in her old sadness, the female Kuchiki watched as the other took a seat in the open air hallway, making a move to follow.

"Just fine, Kazuto-kun. We're preparing for final exams and getting ready for our squad applications," she said with a smile, watching as a scowl flitted over the other's face. It always happened whenever she addressed the younger noble like _that_ when they were alone.

"You know you can call me… _y'know_, whenever no one's around." The exasperation was duly noted but the dark-haired successor knew it would go ignored, making the other chuckle at the unhappy tone of voice. Sneaking glances in either direction, Rukia leaned in to whisper softly in Kazuto's ear.

"I can't call you 'Karin' in such a public place. Who knows who might show up?"

"Yeah, but if people don't call me by my real name I'm gonna forget it," the girl pouted, not happy at all with the logic, as practical as it was. She knew better than to expect anything less from the upright woman, who would do anything to keep the Kurosaki secret under lock and key. But after so many years of hiding behind this mask, the rebelliousness that was normal for Kurosaki leaders was starting to surface in the young girl, probably because of the increasing responsibilities the elders were placing on her small but capable shoulders.

From the moment she was born, Kurosaki Karin was expected to be something great, someone that would have important men's ears when she needed them and with political pressure that extended far beyond the reach of her walled castle. But it was only in her male form that such a thing was possible, her mother explained to both her and Yuzu, easing Karin into the fictional role as slowly as she could without rousing suspicion.

Their mother wasn't completely sure about her choice until both girls were a few years old, eventually learning that Karin had been blessed with unimaginable powers like her predecessors: spiritual pressure that would have others sinking to their knees, physical agility unlike a normal soul's and a personality that was fit for both pleasant conversation and harsh debate. But when Masaki laid her eyes on the two little girls, she knew instinctively that Karin would have to be the one to undertake the ultimate gamble, and it had pained her greatly to be the one to make her, ask her to give up any sense of normalcy so that she may give the three of them hope for a future where their freedom wasn't dictated by another's whims.

When Isshin hadn't come back a few years after he'd left, Masaki hadn't had the time to worry about it, too caught up between maintaining a deal only the devil would make and hiding her children's genders from prying eyes. It was only with the help of Kuchiki Byakuya and Kuchiki Rukia that she was able to give birth without the elders hovering around her, intent on seeing what the outcome would be. How the Kuchiki head was able to convince them that one was a boy was nothing short of a miracle, though she had an idea that his fearsome façade and spiritual pressure played a part in it. She hadn't asked how he'd done so, deciding that it wasn't imperative for her to know. There were already too few covert truths she could tell her little girls, so she allowed herself this bit of ignorance. But as the years went by without notice from her husband or updates from the _Gotei_ Thirteen, the noblewoman was beginning to comprehend just how alone and powerless she was in this world.

As the twins aged, she grew to appreciate that her irrational, almost psychotic pact with the Kuchiki House had been one of the best decisions she'd ever made. One reason was simply because Kurosaki Yuzu was a small version of herself, bright and bubbly, intelligent but too easily trusting and not completely aware of her surroundings. If left in the hands of the advisors', Masaki had no doubt she would've been broken down, becoming only a shell of the lively little creature she was now. Yuzu wouldn't have lasted as the Kurosaki heir, most likely cracking beneath the weight of the extensive family studies, the absolute control over her feelings, the early shinigami training and other mental and physical strains.

No, she was much more suited to be a lover than a fighter, as she showered everyone with equal affection, winning over even the most hardhearted of the counselors with nothing but a winsome smile. Her blissful ignorance brought peace to her sister as well, who carried the burden with precociousness comparable to any of her previous male complements. She'd become the light of the household, and if it wasn't for her presence Masaki knew she'd have been long consumed by her guilt, as she watched one daughter with happy relief and the other with guilty sadness.

From the beginning, Masaki had introduced her little girl to the world as Kurosaki Kazuto, twenty-ninth head of the Kurosaki House and destined-to-be captain of the disgraced Fifth Division. It was with both great pride and anxious concern that she raised the tomboyish girl, watching as she became exactly what she was meant to be. The raven-haired twin would have to live up to millennia of ancestors, and the bulk of their achievements were enough to waterlog even the greatest of men. But Karin didn't falter, not once, as she took every harsh criticism and vulgar insult with grace that didn't match her age, maturing much faster than her mother wanted. She was, in every sense, her father's daughter, not only succeeding at whatever task was placed in front of her but completely demolishing everyone's expectations.

When she was commanded to learn all of the Kurosaki family history, she had done it in a micro-short time span, outmatching her tutor with each succeeding lesson. Whenever an advisor tempted her with flattery to gain approval for a new business scheme, she handled it with a delicate, almost soothing air, letting him down before he even realized it. And she had taken out enough martial arts instructors and _kidou_ teachers that Byakuya had offered to oversee her training, recognizing that her gifts would be wasted if someone of lower caliber attempted to mold her raw talent. On the outside, she was everything that the advisors needed for the home and they hated her for it, as she gained respect from her people and restored faith to the worry-ridden workers who depended on the clan.

But in private, she was just little Karin with her younger sister Yuzu, and that was how their mother preferred them to be. In the quiet of the night, as each of them laid on their futons, she told them stories of how things had been long ago, of the brother they hadn't met, of the father who was out there somewhere avenging him, filling their heads with tales of a time much better than this one. Because while things might have improved in the last few decades, that didn't mean the stir of mutiny had disappeared; it was only just biding its time until someone—_Kazuto_—slipped and made a mistake.

"You will never forget who you truly are, Karin," the older woman said, nodding wisely, as if she knew much more than she should. And, being the wide-eyed child that she was, Karin believed her, recognizing that among the handful of people she did trust, Rukia-nee-chan was one of them and if she had faith in her, then Karin was smart enough to agree.

They didn't hear the shuffle of footsteps but the signature _reiatsu_ was impossible to miss, as both Rukia and Karin turned their heads to the Kuchiki leader reentering the outside training area. He nodded, a signal to resume practice that had the younger girl sighing dramatically. Patting 'Kazuto' on the head fondly, Rukia let her eyes trail across the other's form, taking in each perfect thrust and block, impressed in spite of herself.

"Are you going to allow her to join Shino Academy any time soon?" she murmured up to her brother-in-law, as he drank in each motion and made mental notes for future critiques. Even if one had the most flawless form in Soul Society, she knew Byakuya would find something wrong with it, not out of spite but in the pursuit of greatness. Perhaps that was why he'd taken her training into his own hands, as if what he sought was within Karin's reach, but she wasn't really sure and Rukia would never ask.

"Kazuto is not ready," he replied, short, clipped and without a hint of excess, much like an execution via _Senbonzakura_. Frowning, she tilted her head at the response, wondering what he was waiting for. Karin would easily best her classmates, and likely many of Rukia's as well, at the level she was at now. For her to be so skilled and still not ready was almost an insult to the Kurosaki heir, as she continued to watch and ponder what was going through Byakuya's mind.

"Not everyone is ready to go to the Academy, but they find their way through it regardless," she offered, trying to see if he'd rise to it and explain himself. But he didn't, as she knew he would, but he spoke in that soft tone of his that somehow managed to say so much more.

"Yes, but not everyone bears the weight of Kurosaki's magnitude, as you should well know." She flinched, uncomfortable because Byakuya also used their family name whenever he had talked to or about Ichigo. As she righted herself, she noticed that he didn't peer down at her when she turned her entire face up to him. Taking in the words, her eyes widened and her jaw slacked, as she realized exactly what her brother wanted from the young shinigami-to-be.

He wasn't waiting for Karin's skills to improve, but for her mind to fully develop, a mindset that would be able to take on all of the naysayers, as well as the others who felt threatened by her strength. Because it was one thing for a kid from Rukongai with nothing to lose to enter the world of shinigami and make a name for himself, but it wasn't so easy for those with pasts to live up to. With a legendary father who had gone missing for far too long and a genius brother who had been wiped off in his prime, Karin would have to be the best, perhaps even better than that, in hopes of competing against their legacies. There was no doubt in his mind that there would be many teachers who expected nothing short of excellence from the Kurosaki successor, as well as a few who were waiting to see her fail as well.

But on top of all that, there was the fact that she was playing two roles, her public self and her true self. Outside of the rigid structure of the Academy, there was a way for her to find balance through the solace of her family's warmth and the Kuchiki's reliability. But there would be no room for that later when she had no one to turn to and most likely more enemies than allies to face, all of them wanting her to prove her worth as both an aristocrat and one-day captain. They both knew that she'd give them hell, or at least, Kurosaki Kazuto would, but there was time for that later. She'd do all the things they wanted of her and more, but these few precious years of childhood were invaluable, for both her and her family. Because when she left the nest, the safety that had been her buffer for her entire life, Karin would be on her own with no one to trust, and Byakuya knew she just wasn't ready for that.

* * *

><p>"Kazuto-nii-chan! We're over here!" A brightly smiling girl waved her hand vigorously, her eyes similar to the sunshine coming down overhead. Next to her was a beautiful, older woman, all warm eyes and feminine softness. With an equal grin, the older twin jogged over to them, still dressed in kendo practice clothes.<p>

"You're late! Did Kuchiki-dono keep you because you got into trouble?" Yuzu teased, taking in the rumpled clothing and calloused hands with the slightest bit of worry. Sitting in the shade of a newly blossomed tree, the main branch of the Kurosaki clan gathered to bask in the early spring day, all of them in high spirits because of the wonderful weather. With the flowers just starting to bloom and the grounds newly trimmed, it was a place of exquisite nature and beauty in a place of stone pavements and high walls.

"Of course not. Byakuya-nii-san just had some work to finish up so he didn't dismiss me until now," Karin snorted, using the informal name she knew the nobleman hated with quiet passion. It only made her want to say it that much more, oftentimes with an audience just to be annoying. Even the thought of doing so was enough to make her perk up.

"How is Byakuya-san? I've heard that he's been rather busy lately," Masaki joined in, patting the spot on her other side in invitation. Sitting cross-legged with her hands on her kness, Karin just scratched her chin thoughtfully, not sure what to say.

"Well, he doesn't tell me much but I guess he has been gone more lately," she said a moment after, turning to look expectantly at her mother. Honestly Karin hadn't noticed his increasing absences until the other had pointed it out, but it was plausible that he was taking on more things. He'd left her to train by herself in or near his home's dojo more than a few times over the last few weeks, going off to tend to some unknown effort. But, being the slave driver that he was, Karin was more than happy to see him walk off and slack a bit before getting chewed out for her sloppiness when he returned.

"I've heard that he's been sticking his neck out because of Rukia-chan," Masaki said with a giggle, raising a hand to her lips. Despite the small girl's obvious affection for her brother, Byakuya was entirely too cold to his only family, offering few words and even fewer praises. However, he wasn't without his quirks, and if word got out just how sweet he was to her (albeit, in secret), it would completely ruin his firmly constructed reputation.

"What is it? What'd he do?"

"Tell us, Mama! I wanna know!"

Two very different eyes looked up at her, one set in a serious stare while the other had a pleading glaze. And both made her beam, as she lovingly wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders and ruffled each head of hair playfully. She told them about the Kuchiki boy's plan to prevent Rukia from getting a seated position, despite her obvious capabilities to hold a rank amongst her peers. While still fairly immature, the pintsized noble would one day fully find her confidence and do justice to her namesake; Masaki knew there was much more that Rukia was proficient at than even the girl herself was aware of. But, as long as Byakuya continued to be the overprotective sibling that he was, he'd make sure that she didn't figure out just how skilled she already was, just to be safe.

"_Che_, he's not only bullying Rukia-nee-chan but other people too," Karin drawled, tucking her arms behind her head and leaning against the large tree. "She deserves better. I know she'll do really well as a seated officer once her _shikai_ is mastered, I can feel it, but knowing Byakuya-nii-san…"

"Well I think it's sweet," Yuzu chirped with finality, making her older sister roll her eyes. While they might have been twins, they were far from similar, as Yuzu's innate innocence contrasted deeply to the other's learned cynicism. "He's willing to do anything to keep her away from harm. Only people who really love one another do that stuff."

"Don't be naïve, Yuzu. He's just being selfish." Meeting the other's irritated scowl, the Kurosaki head melted her with a half-lidded stare, the kind that made her seem much older than her mere three decades. "If you love someone, you don't sacrifice their potential to satisfy your own needs. You push them to do better and become better because the love between you two should make each other stronger."

"Oh yeah?" She pouted, cheeks puffing out and flushing her, incensed at the rebuff. "How would you know?"

"Because that's what families do."

Looking up at the perfect blue sky and the few wisps of clouds littering its expanse, Karin couldn't help but ponder just what she meant by her own words. Love should empower each other, that was what she'd said. Going back to personal experience, Karin just knew that sentence had to be true. She was living proof that strength was shared, courage was given and that equal affection was what kept everything together.

Family was the reason why she got up every morning, put on that false identity and fit herself to live the part as family successor, the 'son' of a house whose roots were as old as Seireitei itself. And she needed them just as much as they needed her, her sister's unending care coupled with their mother's quiet strength more than enough of a reason for her to keep up this sham of a life. Because she didn't want there to be a day when she wouldn't see them again, never see them smile or laugh or greet her after a particularly hard lesson. She'd lost too many people to circumstances beyond her control; this time, she could only hope that she'd be the difference.

* * *

><p>On the day of their brother's death, they visited his grave to spend the day with him. With a basket full of packed food and no escorts, the remaining half of the Kurosaki family trudged their way to the cemetery, making small talk as they went. Karin mostly stayed quiet, preferring to listen and hum in agreement rather than chat, finding her thoughts more alluring than whatever topic at hand. As they approached the headstone, a familiar feeling of regret and unfairness surfaced inside her, a swell of unwanted emotion she would never truly get used to.<p>

As with every other year, there was a sign of someone visiting before them, a small bouquet that had been placed in a vase off to the side. And although there was never any indication of who did it, the three women knew it was Rukia who came at dawn, dusting the marker with careful strokes and saying a few words in loving memory. There'd been more than a few times when Karin had wanted to ask just what Kurosaki Ichigo meant to her, but she'd held it in on every occasion. There were some things she'd never truly understand, some questions that would never go answered, and this might be one of them. Not because she couldn't ask but because she doubted the Kuchiki woman knew the answer herself.

They prayed a bit, setting up an offering and telling the hedge stone all about the things that had happened in the last year. Yuzu bragged about being able to cook some dish she'd been meaning to master for the longest time, while Karin talked about all the boring lessons and how Byakuya trained her harder than ever before. Masaki would entertain them with old stories of Ichigo as a child, of how he'd get chased around the house because he'd play in the mud but refuse to bathe afterwards, of how he could climb anything and feared no one, of his accomplishments in the Academy that led to a very early graduation.

He was a hero in their eyes, an outstanding brother that would've been the answer to all their prayers, now a figment of their imagination and recreated in their mother's words. It was with some resentment that Karin would remember her situation, hating that she still blamed him for dying, something she knew he didn't do on purpose but still had her angry at nothing. If he could've made a decision, she knew he would have lived and stayed with their family, protecting them from the quiet murmurs of shifting loyalty, guarding their mother from the merciless rumors and pitying glances that her station so often brought down on her. But even centuries were short in their lives, and there was no room for 'what if's. This was her card of fate, handed down by some greater power, so she played it to the best of her ability.

Going down the hill as they started to return home, Karin stopped and cursed for a moment, realizing that she'd forgotten her necklace. It wasn't anything expensive or extravagant, but it was most certainly special, a gift from their father that he'd left to them right before he disappeared. Along the long black string sat a smooth, marble-like stone, perfectly smooth to touch and worn down from her constant fidgeting with it. It was a piece of him, the only tangible one she had, and she didn't want it to go missing just because of a bout of forgetfulness.

Apologizing, she told her mother and sister to go on without her, as she rushed back up the trail and towards the secluded area reserved specifically for deceased Kurosaki's. Panting lightly as she got closer, she stopped a few yards away when another person caught her eye. Although she had no idea who he was, she knew what he was, the black _shihakusho_ a dead giveaway even in the fading red of the sun. Watching him from behind, she raised a brow at the odd mess of white hair, an unlikely color no matter where one looked in this realm, as well as a memorable white cape, a captain's _haori_ with the emblem of the number ten. The stranger was standing before her brother's memorial, praying something softly into the nightfall's wind.

She moved towards him slowly, feet silent but _reiatsu_ flared so as not to alarm him. When she reached her usual sitting place beside the tombstone, his eyes opened and a flash of green hit her unexpectedly, his exotic coloring making his masculine face stand out even more. She couldn't help but think that he must've been Ichigo's age when he died those thirty-odd years ago. Most likely nearing sixty years but not looking a day over fifteen, the shinigami watched her with cool disinterest, as if inspecting a bug on his sleeve. Inwardly she decided she didn't like it.

"Who are you?" It was impertinent of her, to ask his name without offering her own but this was her brother's resting place. She had more right to know him than he did her, and she'd never seen him before this instance in her entire life.

"Are you a relative of Kurosaki Ichigo?" he replied, not even bothering with her inquiry. His voice had a melodic bass to it, a strangely fitting sound to match his masculine features. Unbiddenly her cheeks seemed to heat, and she cursed the sign of weakness while thanking the shadows of the setting sun and rising darkness for their cover.

"I'm Kurosaki Kazuto, Ichigo's brother. Who are _you_?" She tried to question him again, her voice coming out more forceful than she had intended, deeper than she had wanted it to go. But if he noticed the awkwardness, he didn't show it, only eyed her form up and down with passive assessment.

"I am Hitsugaya Toushirou, _taichou_ of the _Gotei_ Thirteen's Tenth Squad. Your brother and I were friends, a long time ago." He offered it with little emotion, as if it was purely common knowledge. But she hadn't heard of this man before now, and the suspicion seemed to show on her face, as he went on to explain they were classmates in the Academy, a few years apart initially but graduating the same year.

"You haven't visited him before," she pushed, wanting to know his intentions for visiting today. She'd been coming here every year as a child and their mother always told them of the various people who used to come and greet their brother. Her memory was that of an elephant's, spanning hundreds of years and with perfect detail. So if he knew Ichigo like he said he did, then there was no doubt that the older woman would known him as well, woud've said something about the odd-colored boy with sharp eyes and an ice-cool personality.

"Your brother and I had grown apart before he… passed away." He stopped for a moment in the middle, as if trying to phrase the words as gently as possible. While finding it kind that he did so, Karin also had to hold back a scoff at his hesitance. She wasn't a child, someone who was so easily swayed by a few unintentionally cruel words. She'd heard enough aimed at her person to be impervious to them.

"I see," she nodded, as she looked up at him with a hard glance. If he thought something of it, he didn't mention it, only taking a step away from the epitaph and moving to face her. With a slight bow reserved for those of the Great Noble Houses, he bid his goodbye before _shunpo_-ing away. And even though the encounter was only minutes long, perhaps even seconds, Karin had the strangest feeling in her gut that this wouldn't be the last she'd see of the mysterious, young captain.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: All right, done! There will be another time skip in the next chapter and it's kind of the beginning of everything. I'm going slow and I apologize, but once this story starts... let's just say it's probably not gonna slow down. That's what I'm afraid of, to be honest. I'm gonna start pelting you guys with one thing after the other and it will get kinda crazy. But please hang on for the ride.

_Thanks for all the wonderful reviews for the previous chapter! _I hope that you all will continue to read and review/alert/favorite! I love knowing my readers. I don't really reply to them unless you guys have questions, but please know that I'm thankful for each and every one of them.

Until next time!


	3. Chapter Two: Entrance Exam Part One

**AN**: Missed me? Of course you did. LOL Or at the very least, you missed this fic. I'm really glad I've got your guys' attention. This fic is very detailed and even I'm kinda scratching my head and wondering why I made it that way. Haha. I'd also like to thank you guys, and unfortunately I'm still not sure how. Ideas are welcome and highly appreciated!

Anyway, onward to the fic!

_Warnings_: The way I would do the Shino Academy's Entrance Exam is probably very different from most people's, but it's my story so I'm gonna have fun with this. =D So, yes, I run a little rampant with this and the aging is weird again, but it's Bleach so aging occurs however I want it to. I also switched to 'he' or 'him' for Karin a little bit because I change POV's slightly.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Two: Entrance Exam (Part One)<em>

_[Twenty Years Later]_

"I can't believe it! Kazuto-nii-chan's all excited to leave me!" an overly animated Yuzu half-sobbed, half-yelled, watching as her so-called brother put on his slippers, his back turned to the overzealous sibling. Sighing, the heir looked to the house staff and his family, face set in the emotionless mask that Byakuya always encouraged. Not that he'd ever fully mastered it, but it was a good skill to have in the face of adversity. For example, the sniveling face of the younger twin, looking ready to fall to the floor in sadness.

"Yuzu, I'm only going to take the entrance exam. I'll be back before the sun goes down," Kazuto replied, voice forced an octave lower to match the older face that was only partly finished transforming. It had grown progressively more difficult for Karin to hide her femininity as she'd gotten older. Her face was entirely too soft around the edges, cheekbones and jaw line not prominent enough, body too thin and not toned with the necessary amount of muscle, plus a generous swell of breasts to go along with it. She looked nothing like her father, and even her brother, who had been known for his rather beautiful features, was exceptionally more masculine than her, but for reasons no one but a choice few could know.

Over the years, she and her mother had adjusted her clothing to disguise her form so that it'd appear more comparable to a male adolescent's. Luckily, everyone just assumed her lack of definition was because she was similar to her master, Kuchiki Byakuya-dono, who was imperceptibly powerful in spite of his slender body. They also credited her unnatural prettiness to him, suspecting that perhaps his graceful features had somehow rubbed off on the Kurosaki since she'd spent her life attached to the man's side. The explanation made her snort in discontent, but she didn't refute it, not sure what else she could offer in return.

Karin's hair remained the same, still a messy bob that fit her style, and her chest was taped down daily, made sure that it was as tight as it could be without cutting off her air supply. While tall for a female, her five-foot-six frame was on the small side for her family, as she towered over her mother and sister but was noticeably smaller than her late sibling by two or three inches. She always cited that she was still growing, and looking approximately fifteen in human years had helped ease everyone else's worries, as she lied between her teeth and bit back any feelings of uncertainty. When she left these grounds for months at a time to attend school, there would be no room for that sort of weakness, not if she was going to endure on her own, at least.

"You will do well, Kurosaki-dono. We believe in you," said one of the staff managers, Atsuki-san, an elderly man who had been loyal to her and her family long before she was born. The claim was supported by cheers from the crowd, excited and expectant faces of people she had promised herself that she'd protect. And by taking this step out of her home, she was that much closer to becoming the (unlawful) head of the family.

"Please be safe, Kazuto-kun," Masaki said, face decidedly absent of emotion but with water gathering at the sides of her gaze. It was bittersweet, to watch the strong child she'd raised go off and find her own path. The complications that followed her would always be there, but she didn't fear for the young girl as she used to. Kurosaki Karin was a forced to be reckoned with, and only a fool would dare say so otherwise.

"Thank you, Okaa-san, everyone." The young leader bowed before them, humbled by their support as she righted herself and turned to walk out the main entrance. It was the first time she was allowed to set out alone, no one to watch her every move or reprimand her for the smallest slip in etiquette. Against her better judgment, Karin was eager, raring to go out and prove her worth to the world.

Treading the pavement-lined streets, she ignored the cursory glances people shot her, the whispers of question and high-pitched enthusiasm. In this rich district of _Seireitei_, her face was well-known and strangely sough-after, a conundrum she liked to ignore as much as possible. She couldn't remember the number of times she'd been stopped for conversation, an older man or lady of impeccable pedigree making pleasant chit chat. But quickly enough she'd learned that it was only a cover, as only minutes later she was introduced to some pretty girl wrapped in cloth and veils to hide her 'fair skin' from the harsh sun.

One might think that being brought up in a confusing manner like hers might make it difficult to have romantic relationship in the future, but it wasn't hard for Karin to picture herself in that role. She knew she wanted to one day get married to a strong man and have a few kids—as unlikely as the dream was—like her mother and father, so all of those meetings started off normal and became very awkward for her halfway through. Hopefully none would be so rash as to stop her while she on her way to the outskirts of the walled city and to the designated testing area.

While within the large capital's walls, it was a faraway walk to Shino Academy, as its training halls and grounds were used for its yearly entrance exam. There was some nervousness at the pit of her stomach, but she pushed it away by keeping on a brave face. Karin was as capable as any trained shinigami, had been told that a number of times by Rukia-nee-chan herself, so she had no reason for it. Still, the thought of all eyes on her was enough to tame whatever confidence she had, as she made it to the school and walked into the crowd of shinigami hopefuls.

Making her way to the registration desk, she gave her name and a number was given to her. She didn't miss how the man there seemed to straighten his back, looking up at the royal with eyes like ice, as if he was trying to measure her worth. Too bad he wouldn't be able to. Her control over her spiritual power was iron-clad, completely under wraps thanks to Byakuya's strict regimen. She wouldn't be surprised if she could take him, not an ounce of arrogance in her guess; she was just that powerful.

They gathered all of the souls and split them into groups by the hundreds, _shihakusho_-clothed figures directing them by their numerals and having them line up accordingly. Glancing at hers, Karin made her way to the line gathering to her right, asking for others' placements so she could find hers. She did her best not to make conversation, uncomfortable with the idea of finding out what everyone else thought about her name and status. While not fully aware of how far her fame extended, she decided that now wasn't the time to find out.

Splitting the candidates by the number of testing areas, Karin found herself in an open-aired field surrounded by greenery. It was difficult to find shrubs if not outside _Seireitei_ so she basked in it, feeling at home there as if she was in her garden or the Kuchiki Mansion. Some of her nerves settled, as everyone else chattered both nervously and amicably with one another, trying to figure out what they were going to be tested on. From what Rukia-nee-chan had told her, there were three parts of the exam, each testing a basic skill that was necessary for the achievement and progression of one's shinigami powers.

"May I have your attention, everyone?" A mild voice spoke up, calming in spite of the chatter all around. And it was obeyed wholly and completely, as if each person was intrigued by the quality and thus helplessly listened. As everyone turned to the white-haired man in front, Karin couldn't help but note that he was sickly in look but genial in attitude. And although she was sure no one else was aware of it, this man was hiding his incredible _reiatsu_ so as not to disturb their delicate sensing abilities or frighten them away. But, there was no doubt in her mind that this was a _taichou_-level fighter, someone who gave new meaning to the saying 'appearances can be deceiving.'

"Welcome, first and foremost, to the entrance exam for Shino Academy," he began, smiling and gesturing to them with open arms. Her eyes immediately went to the twin swords at his belt, wondering what kind of zanpakuto this man had and just how strong he was. "I am Ukitake Juushirou, captain of the _Gotei_ Thirteen's Thirteenth Squad. I will be in charge of your group for this level of the exam."

Silence soon became rabid whispers, some of anxiety and others of challenge, as Karin felt her face frown at their lack of respect. When someone of higher rank spoke, one had to listen intently or get left behind. Another lesson she'd been taught and only sometimes paid attention to. But they were calmed down by the subordinates of Ukitake-_taichou_, who beamed as if expecting their reaction. It wouldn't shock her if it happened every year, after all.

"Now please, everyone, settle down and line up as I explain the first round of exams." They did so, standing in perfect rows and eyeing each other interestedly. While Karin felt some mildly strong forces, the majority of her fellow attendees were as untamed as they were noisy. A few felt heavily saturated with energy and ready to bust out of its owner's body, but without a prominent pathway for its wielder to use. A difficult but not impossible obstacle to overcome, she noted dimly. But the majority belonged to those with signature spiritual pressures that were considerably smaller but better controlled, the kind that most trained shinigami demonstrated. She wondered just how far each of them would get, as she thanked her previous training for her hard-earned abilities, her sureness increasing with each flicker of poorly reined in _reiatsu_. Her attention was called once again to the Thirteenth's captain, who explained the general rules for this examination.

"You will be called by number by one of the squad members or myself. Once there, please state your name and number. After that, we will ask you to focus as much of your _reiatsu_ into the environment. The objective is to measure how much spiritual pressure you have, or at the very least how much you currently have access to."

As soon as he was through, they were each called, one by one. Watching and feeling for their powers, she noticed how some were able to manifest a good amount of their spirit's force, giving them a passing score as they were directed to the opposite end of the field. Others, however, were clearly more powerful but only able to release very minute amounts, showing that while they were more than capable of _reiatsu_ they were limited in their ability to use it. But Karin didn't have the time to feel smug about her predictions, as she heard her number being called. Coming from the light-haired _taichou_ himself, she took a deep, steadying breath as she made her way over to stand before him.

"Number 637, Kurosaki Kazuto," she bowed, taking in the surprised eyes of her tester. She didn't say anything as everyone else seemed to slow down, stop and then stare, gazes falling to her lithe frame. Even the others being examined had halted what they were doing, as they watched with large eyes and rapt attention. All she could do was bite back a knowing smirk.

"Kurosaki, you say?" She nodded, face held in perfect stillness as the other regarded her thoughtfully. He seemed to realize just how much she was capable of with that cursory glance, face turning grim at the inspection. "I see. So Kurosaki Ichigo's rumored little brother has finally come to us." He smiled softly then, as if pleased with her presence. "I for sure thought Kuchiki-_taichou_ was going to attempt to hide you a little longer. He seemed very adamant about keeping you all to himself."

"Byakuya-nii-san is entirely too protective for his own good," she muttered, not meaning for anyone to hear it. But Ukitake did, as that pleasant smile spread in agreement. She had a feeling that it had more to do with Rukia though, who'd remained unranked in spite of achieving and mastering her _shikai_ over a decade ago. It took her a second to realize she couldn't shake her head in dismay, noting that it wasn't in Kazuto's character to do so. Karin, on the other hand, was just as exasperated with the cranky nobleman as the older man before her.

"Please, if you will. I'd like to see how much _reiatsu_ you might have." She didn't miss the look of expectancy on his face, as if he was waiting for the dam to break and all hell to let loose. But of course he would, knowing what her predecessors were capable of.

She didn't disappoint.

With a flex of her fingers, she let go of the built-up _reiatsu_, letting it fill her body and wash over him. It poured and poured until it filled the entire field where even those who had passed could physically sense it, gasping at the new push that wasn't just gravity anymore. In the background she could hear a few others' scream, falling to their knees at the sheer strength of it, as well as see a few of the shinigami brace themselves beneath the onslaught. Unlike them, the man before her didn't struggle, didn't even seem to notice the added weight, as he watched her with assessing eyes. It was only a few seconds until he nodded and she rebuilt the wall again, and the world was back to normal, as if she hadn't done a thing.

"Kurosaki, pass," he said finally, breaking into a wide, happy smile. When she bowed, she couldn't help but think that he did that gesture often, as she went to take her place amongst the others. Ignoring the dirty looks and fearful glances, she waited for the others to finish. The potential was certainly there, she noted silently, as she took in a number of faces who had much more to offer than what was currently being seen on the surface. She was fairly interested in their future development, as everyone eventually finished the current round and the group was sorted in full.

Those who hadn't moved forward were escorted off the grounds, as she took in frustrated faces and angry frowns. They were encouraged to try again next year, as many shinigami were turned away a number of times before actually passing the exam. She came to understand that this trial tested character just as much as ability, she thought, watching them go with a passing glance. If they were strong and determined, they'd be back again, better than before; she didn't doubt it.

"Congratulations, everyone. You will now be moving onto the second part of the exams," Ukitake explained with that friendly beam of his. Only a third of them were there now, as she realized just how difficult the last task was for those without an ounce of teaching. But even at a young age, Karin's abilities were easy enough for her to handle, a talent that hadn't gone unnoticed by the older Kuchiki. He had always pushed her to her limits, stopping just before he could completely break her spirit, and now she could finally appreciate why. Her level wasn't anywhere near most people's; she was most closely comparable to a ranked officer even as a child, so who knew how strong she was now.

Leading them to an indoor area, she spied a row of large targets on one end, as two other groups eyed the newcomers with suspicion. She noticed that two other captains stood in front of them, one with an armor-like helmet and the other with a pink kimono on top of his uniform. On the other side, close to the objects, her eyes went straight to Byakuya, who didn't even seem to notice her entrance. Not that she expected anything less, of course. That man wouldn't say a thing to her unless the world was coming apart at the seams, and even that would probably be to say something about protecting Rukia.

Near him stood two others, a small female shinigami with a braid down her chin and beside her a girl who stood in a modified _shihakusho_ that was outfitted to fit her thin frame. They didn't have to wait long as the final group entered, following a mask-covered man who looked too much like a scary puppet from a childhood nightmare. Decidedly she had a feeling that he wasn't the type she wanted to cross paths with, as she took in his sardonic smile and held in a shudder. No, definitely not her style at all.

"Welcome to the second part of your exam," greeted the oldest of the three _taichou_, the voice high and feminine, almost deceptively so. This was a healer by nature, but Karin had no doubt that she was probably one forceful opponent if driven into a corner. There was just something about that well-fitted smile, an unnatural feel to her that was even worse than the puppet-looking one. "I am Unohana Retsu, the captain of the Fourth Squad. To my left is Soi Fong of the Second, and to my right is Kuchiki Byakuya of the Sixth." Karin heard a few dreamy sighs, as she forced her eyes not to go heavenwards. Granted, Byakuya was a gorgeous man by anyone's standards, but just the thought of a bunch of young girls fawning over him had her guts twisting in irritation and maybe a little disgust (he was practically family, after all).

"You will be called up by number again. Please introduce yourself to whoever your examiner is and restate your number. This time your task will be to summon an orb of your spirit pressure and to hit your target." As she gestured to the thick, crème and white colored stands, exclamations of uneasiness erupted. But they were hushed again by the squad members on duty, who threatened to kick anyone out for interrupting. Hurriedly they took their seats off to the sides as the first ten were called, all of them peering at each other nervously since they were essentially for show.

Karin looked on as all of them were able to generate some sort of energy ball, flashing blue and white and red, depending on the user. While some were large and unstable, others were small and concentrated, less prone to exploding in their faces as they grinned triumphantly at their success. However, it seemed that that was the easy part, as each aimed for their respective target and shot at it. Some fizzled before they even left their wielder's hand, others falling midway between themselves and the goal. One impressive person was able to skim the edge of the mark before it shattered to pieces, becoming a flickering of light before it disappeared. But regardless of the second half of the skill's test, all ten passed, as Karin understood what they were truly trying to see.

Most souls didn't have the ability to summon any type of energy, so to create any sort of disk or sphere was an achievement in itself. Their facilitators weren't expecting perfection, only that they be able to make their power apparent and more or less control it. It seemed to relieve a few sitting around her, who whispered from behind their hands that they had practiced that kind of technique while living in the rural areas they came from. Looking down at her hands, Karin knew she had her work cut out for her.

It took longer to get through with this round since there were so many people in the large training facility, each applicant's abilities and potential measured closely by the captains and a few of their seated officers. And while some flourished underneath the scrutiny, others crumbled beneath the stress, unable to gather their _reiatsu_ into something tangible and thus failing out. She noticed that more than a few had to hold back tears of bitterness, completely at a loss because of their ineptness. A part of her was sorry for them, but she made no gesture to console any one person. They didn't want or need her pity, and she was sure that it would look condescending in front of the other attendees.

"Number 637." As she stood, all of those in her group watched her with a measure of anticipation and distaste, as if she was just doing the exam just for the sake of doing it. But it didn't faze her in the slightest. After all, she'd been dealt worse looks by even worse people, as she stood before the beautiful captain with large, dark eyes and a sort of sinister glow behind her politeness.

_Note to self: do not get sick. Ever,_ she thought, as she bowed before introducing herself completely. "I am Kurosaki Kazuto, Number 637."

"Kurosaki? As in, Kurosaki Isshin?" she asked with a light tone, head tilting in question as her eyes stayed in crescents.

"He was my father," she replied, not sure if she'd used the correct tense. While he hadn't been been claimed as dead officially by the _Gotei_ Thirteen or Central 46, after nearly fifty years one couldn't really assume otherwise without looking foolishly hopeful. The gaze she was given by Unohana-_taichou_ afterwards was contemplative, and Karin decided she rather hated it. No one seemed to be able to hear her surname without adopting that look.

"I see. Well then, please begin." Glad to be given permission, Karin stood before her marker and gathered her inner strength, feeling it travel out of her core, into her shoulder, down her arm and through her fingers. It was a comfortable feeling, warm and familiar in a way that was probably not normal for most. But she was certainly not the average Plus, as she aimed her right hand for the center and muttered the words she'd been taught and had practiced for years.

"_Hadou Thirty-One: Shakkaho_." Withstanding the recoil, a perfect red orb shot from her hand and hit the bull's eye, setting the entire piece aflame. As the entire room stopped to stare and be astonished by her skill, she dropped her arm as she turned toward her interviewer.

There was a bit of guarding in her expression, as if curious of what else this child could accomplish. But if she had questions, she didn't voice them aloud, waving her hand and giving the 'pass' she deserved. Before she turned to go back to her seat, Karin saw the flash of annoyance in Kuchiki-_taichou_'s gaze, unhappy with her unsubtle choice. If she'd met his eyes, she'd have shrugged, an arrogant move she'd heard her brother was quite famous for using on the other heir, completely uncaring of the other's need for propriety.

And eventually the room was cleared of the excess until only a fraction of them remained, the quiet within the four walls almost too much before the last of the current captains entered. As the targets were carried away, her heart nearly fell out of her chest at the strength of the approaching spiritual _reiatsu_. No one else seemed to notice it, but it was most likely because they weren't as sensitive to other people's pressures, unlike her. Taking in a calming inhale, she faced the west entrance and she saw the source coming into the gym.

A towering giant with spikes for hair crowded the doorway with only himself and that potent presence, but both were more than enough to have her choking on his raw, uncontained power. As soon as he was fully inside, the effect hit everyone else harder and faster than it did her, even though she had been aware of his monstrous energy from the start. Soon it was stifling the air and forcing the other contestants to their knees, unused to such heavy spiritual influence.

"Kenpachi-_taichou_, please hold in your _reiatsu_. You're crushing the candidates."

Forcing her gaze away from the colossal captain, her eyes drifted to the one who came in after him, holding back a blatant display of amazement as she recognized who he was. A flashback came to her of white hair, teal irises and a nonchalance that had implanted the boy tightly in her head as a child soul. But the name was escaping her, as she felt the atmosphere lighten instantly with a slight scoff from the larger man.

"Is it my fault they're weak?" he asked with disgust, taking in the prone figures who seemed to be at odds with themselves over the resetting of his pull. He didn't have patience for those who weren't deemed strong or courageous in action, but then his one eye fell on the only one standing, as he took in a young lad with the same hairstyle as his Fifth Seat but with hard eyes he hadn't seen in a long time. They were fighter's eyes, someone with strength that already outmatched the others in the room and that alone intrigued the goliath.

"Oi, you. What's your name?" He grinned as he cleared a bit of the distance, making eye contact with the pretty boy. Holding the captain's gaze, he turned his head up and watched Zaraki with overt wariness, as if he was measuring his strength and trying to completely comprehend it.

"Kurosaki. Kurosaki Kazuto," she replied after a moment of hesitation, quietly deciding that the other was someone she would never willingly step into a fight with. And when a large, excited grin crossed his face, Karin knew that she was right in thinking so. This man was a beast, even more so than his material form could begin to show.

"Kurosaki, eh? Like Ichigo?" he grinned happily, as if reminiscing about something beyond her.

She nodded before continuing. "He was my brother."

"Eh, that so? You must be strong then, right?" he inquired, his hand tapping the zanpakuto at his hip impatiently, as if ready to draw it at any moment. A part of her panicked on the inside, knowing very well that while she was more than capable of holding her own against most, she'd never be able to take this man before her. Not only that, she was weaponless, since her own sword had yet to manifest itself. It was with some anger that she realized that, while she was like her brother, she was certainly not him. He'd practically been born with Zangetsu attached to his back, walking into the Academy with it strapped to his form as if it was completely normal to have an oversized knife on oneself. On the other hand, Karin hadn't been able to even hear hers, despite her quick spiritual maturation and physical accomplishments.

"Enough, Kenpachi-_taichou_."

Appearing between her and the towering leader, that familiar head of bleached locks stood in front of her, as if ready to engage the older man if need be. Perhaps it was how he was usually dealt with because the one known as Kenpachi didn't seem all that offended, only mildly annoyed with having his fun ruined. As he turned away with a grunt, Karin couldn't help but relax at his disappearance before her eyes went back to the young _taichou_ before her.

Looking over his shoulder, the young man regarded the other with a blank stare and she had a feeling he couldn't identify her at all, though her name was likely to stir something since she'd introduced herself as her Ichigo's little brother. But before she could read his response, he was moving away, walking towards the other captains and waiting as the other young souls gathered themselves and their composure. Once sure that they were ready, the young man stepped ahead of the pack and nodded his head at them.

"Welcome to the final test. I am Hitsugaya Toushirou, captain of the Tenth Squad."

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: I hope I didn't leave anyone disbelieving of Karin's abilities. I mean, she was trained since birth so it's kind of hard to overestimate her, but I didn't go into detail about her entire training regimen. That stuff's boring to me. LOL Any criticism/comments you have are encouraged because I'm trying so hard to make her not perfect. I hate perfect characters.

And, does this count as a cliffhanger? I'm not one-hundred percent sure... Haha. Yes, the second part will be out in a few days. Now you know why I had to post two chapters in one week. I don't think anyone wanted to wait for me to update.

_Thanks so much for reading!_ I really can't say those words enough. Please review/favorite/alert if you enjoyed or if you've got questions. I know that aging in Soul Society is more of a personal take (since guidelines don't seem to exist at all so we just have to guess like crazy), so if you have any feel free to drop me a line.

Next chapter: Finishing the test and a little history on Hitsugaya's relationship with Ichigo. =D

Until next time!


	4. Chapter Three: Entrance Exam Part Two

**AN**: And the next chapter is here! =D I've had a hard but also wonderful week. It's my last full week as a nursing student so I want to commemorate my second-to-last day with a new chapter and great news. One, I'm glad that I'll be graduating at the end of the month with all the wonderful people I've been lucky to have met and worked with.

And two, I'm even more excited because I'm officially a med student! =DDDDD Yes, I'm going off the medical school this coming June and I'm reviewing for my nursing boards all summer so between those two, don't be surprised if I disappear for a while. Just fair warning. Wish me luck! :)

Also, to help kind of reply to people, _I'll respond to a few of you guys in each chapter_. Just makes it easier for me to say thank you, slowly but surely. I will get to everyone eventually. It just means you have to keep reading this fic to see your thank you! I'm a genius, I say, a genius.

**RavenBlack**: I'm sorry, but I don't really do OC's unless they play a really minor/plot device-like role. And unfortunately for Ururu, Jinta or Yuzu, they don't really have places in my story because they were characters that didn't really fit into the feeling of this fic and I can't visualize how they'd work in Soul Society as shinigami here, not even Yuzu. Thank you for he suggestion, though. I'm sorry. I really don't know what to do with them. :(

**Volrheinrhein**: I was like, 'why is she reviewing if she hasn't even read it yet?' LOL I'm flattered though. I hope you did enjoy it when you read it. :)

**Liliv00**: You were so excited you posted twice. Haha! Thank you!

**AnneRose**: I remember you since _Homecoming or Coming Home?_ Thanks for reviewing pretty much every story I write. I always look forward to seeing your name. :D

Anyway, on to the fic!

_Warnings_: I was inspired by a filler episode of Bleach so I wrote this with that in mind. Also, the story gets a little more complex (but nowhere near as crazy as it's gonna get). :)

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Three: Entrance Exam (Part 2)<em>

Watching with heaviness in her chest, Karin took in the speaking _taichou_ and reassembled him in her mind, noticing that while time had passed he himself hadn't changed much. Shaggier hair fell into his unmistakable emerald eyes, still set in that same masculine face. But fifteen years had forced a little bit of aging into him, looking closer to a human's eighteen years now and a few centimeters taller than she remembered. Then again, she didn't really recall his previous height, considering that she was a much younger and smaller soul and had matured quickly after that last encounter.

"Your final challenge for today doesn't require any of your spiritual abilities," he spoke in a deceptively quiet tone, channeling the authority he'd been given at an age most would've considered unsuitable. But during his captain's evaluation, he'd taken away that doubt with a slice of his zanpakuto and a _bankai_ that might one day rival even their _soutaichou_'s. As he tried to gauge the applicants' abilities with only his eyes out of all of them only one was worth the thought. "The Shino Academy will only be taking those of you who can rise to the occasion. Today, you'll have to show us your determination and strength, two things that every shinigami must have to survive on the battlefield."

Nodding to the supervising officers, they began to distribute the items to the remaining hopefuls. When she received one, Karin's eyes narrowed at the tool in her hands, roving it with a barely hidden discomfort. The wooden sword wasn't hers but it was a common enough weapon, something she'd been taught to use before she even reached its height. It was light weight, deep brown in color and brought a sense of peaceful familiarity before it was placed with anxiety.

She was going to do battle, here and now.

"You will face off against each other in the pairs we've selected," Hitsugaya continued, as everyone seemed to tense in awareness of the new situation. "I know many of you are wondering why we're asking you to do this, but the real reason behind this test is rather simple. You all pride yourselves on having above average spirit abilities, but that means nothing without the mental and physical capacities to back them up. Right now, no one is more in charge of your destiny as a shinigami than you.

"One day you will have to fight for your life, and there'll be a good chance your _reiatsu_ will go out long before your life ends. That bridge can only be amended with the strength and agility you must earn for yourself because it is not something that can be given."

It was with hushed fear that the final round begun, as the first few pairs were called up and nervousness seemed to rise exponentially. While watching the beginning fights, Karin could easily deduce that none of them had held a _bokken_ before, much less exchanged blows with another until this very moment. Then again, she could also figure out that most of these people came from the top ten districts, places where little happened and confrontation was smoothed over easily. They weren't warriors in the slightest, but someday they'd have to be, and that was what the examiners were looking at. How far could they go on their abilities if stripped of their powers, of their confidence? Better yet, would they be able to at all?

But on the opposite end of the spectrum, while watching the rounds between those from the lowest districts, Karin could only 'tsk' in disapproval as she examined them thoroughly. There was no honor in their strikes, no purpose in their swings, only the taste of glory at their fingertips and somehow it took away from the matches entirely. They were experienced, she'd give them that, and their technique was above par, but they didn't fight with their heads or hearts. It was bloodthirstiness, a need to survive, and while there were times and places for those things this wasn't one of them. These people didn't know or understand loyalty, and if they didn't learn it, they'd never survive in squads that were as strongly intertwined as a spider's web; even the Eleventh had its core values, in spite of their fight-loving mantra.

As she waited, Karin realized that she was going to be one of the last called. It made the sweat bead along the back of her neck, as she grasped just how much expectation was being placed on her. The captains knew her history, were well aware of Byakuya's adamant need to guide her at an early age. Although it wasn't for the reasons they most likely thought, it still didn't dampen the hopes they had for her.

So when she was called up, it was one of the final matches, as she noticed that there were only two other couplings, both on either side of hers. Scanning their _reiatsu_, she couldn't help but feel impressed by the other five contenders. Obviously it wasn't just guts they were looking at. As she got a good look at her adversary, Karin decided that bodily he was at an advantage.

Standing a good four inches over her and weighing much more than her small frame, the man before her would hit hard and fast. There was no smugness in his eyes as he judged her in turn, but she didn't doubt that he was underestimating her. And why shouldn't he? Besides the few geniuses that came to these exams, most here were older than her and they would assume they would have the advantage over someone smaller and more delicate looking.

Drawing her sword defensively to the front, Karin took her stance as the other readied himself. She'd been trained like a traditional fighter, a stance like the base of a mountain but with limbs like a weeping willow, prepared for any sort of movement against her. But the man before her was definitely scrappier, a street fighter who looked as if he'd been reborn and trained in the pits of hell. But when one was raised in the Eightieth District, the comparison wasn't so farfetched.

As soon as the call was made, they rushed each other, the dull edges meeting in one clack after the other, a dance she was well versed in. It was preliminary to feel each other out and really get to know the person on the other side of one's blade. And he was everything Karin thought he was, intelligent, calculating but surprising in his ability to handle her and predict her next move. It was a stalemate, as she struck down hard just before he sidestepped and sliced at her side, going in for the kill. But she was able to catch herself, letting it graze her before she charged him down.

It was enough to catch him off guard, as he put up his wooden katana to block but she sliced through his flimsy grip before bringing it down, forcing him to the floor as his hands went up to guard. Beside him, his practice katana fallen to the wayside and she was unanimously declared the winner. Acknowledging his skill, she noticed that it had been quite some time since she'd felt a rush like this, as she placed her _bokken_ to her hip and bowed to him in respect before turning away without ado. By doing so, she'd forgotten the first rule of fighting her first instructor taught her: never turn your back on an opponent.

Grabbing his fallen sword, he dashed at her with the intent to decapitate her with it, regardless if his weapon could cut or not. Losing one's cool in the midst of battle was like losing one's will to live, as he threw caution to the wind and thrust at her neck. But he didn't expect the Kurosaki heir to catch his attack, parrying it with a slight flick of her bare wrist that had it bounding away from her body. Taking a closer look, her would-be attacker saw that it was covered in a shield of her spiritual pressure, a masterful skill she'd taught herself as a child.

"Only a coward attacks from behind," Karin spoke plainly, looking down at her fallen prey who was sitting on his haunches. A haunted look stole across the older man's features, mouth open in futility and shaking in his plain kimono. With a hard glare, the Kurosaki's dark eyes pinned him with enough emotion to strike fear into the other's heart. "In spite of what everyone else thinks, you didn't lose to me because you were weak. You lost because you believed yourself and that arrogance was your downfall."

It sounded strange hearing those words in her voice because she knew they weren't her own. In fact, they had come from none other than the Kuchiki captain who was watching off to the side, distantly pondering the result of her match. She had no doubt that when she got home that she was going to get a summons demanding her attendance at the Kuchiki mansion, where he would berate her verbally and then force her to do an extra hard work-out regimen for her flashy display today. She knew that sadistic man's mind well.

As soon as her match was over, Byakuya came to the center to reintroduce himself and announce the final results of the exam. He ranked them as he did, first stating those who did not pass their last stage. They were led out, distraught with having come so close but not quite far enough and holding back cries to save face. This time, Karin didn't spare them a glance, as she recognized her opponent was among them, though it was unsurprising. Once they were gone, he turned back to those who remained, which was approximately four-hundred in number.

"Congratulations to all of you. You have officially been accepted to the Shino Academy this coming semester." His seriousness could not quell the whoops of excitement or squeals of happiness, as the nerves broke and everyone seemed to be cracking grins. Even the _taichou_ looked in better spirits, as a few of the older ones grinned at their eagerness while the younger ones looked on with softer eyes. Even Karin herself let out a small breath of relief, happy with the results but quieting when Byakuya held out his hand so that he could carry on with his closing.

"While all of you have performed at a level fitting of shinigami students, others have gone above expectations and will be rewarded as such." Taking a scroll from a subordinate, he opened it before continuing. "This list holds the names of those of you in our advanced class, where you may graduate in five years or less, depending on how well you accomplish your studies." At those words, Karin could've sworn his eyes stopped on hers but he looked away before she could fully meet them. She hated his non-subtlety almost as much as his subtlety.

As he began reading, Karin listened as those around her cheered in excitement while others jumped up and down in glee. Others whispered happily to their friends, who patted them on the back with slight envy on their faces. And when her name was called, Karin knew everyone turned to look at her, at the supposed next genius of the Academy and soon-to-be leader of the Kurosaki family. It dampened her mood a little, but she straightened until the last one was called, totaling to fifty-six students in all. With nothing else to say, the captains bid the new first year students adieu and finally they were directed to the front of the school, on their way back to their homes to announce the good news.

The few weeks after her passing were uneventful, though when she returned home that night she was greeted in the style of a war hero. The bright lights and obvious anticipation only made her stumble into the estate, eyes falling to the table full of gourmet food and decorations in celebration of her results. Karin knew for a fact that she hadn't even finished the exam by the time they'd started on the party, though she didn't say so aloud. Because everyone was in high spirits, taking turns to praise 'Kazuto-sama' and offer drinks and food until she was sure she'd never be able to eat again.

It was with a big hug that Yuzu showed her support, saying how happy she was for 'Kazuto-nii-chan' but so sad that she'd be gone in only a month's time. Her mother was decidedly gentler, patting her head softly and smiling kindly in that way that Karin hated. It was just a small turn of her lips, but so full of emotion that few could fully comprehend. Pride in her children, joy at their success, love that was immeasurable; but it also held guilt and self-blame because she thought herself as an unforgiving catalyst, her daughter's personal grim reaper. And no matter how many times Karin tried to set her straight, she knew that the older woman would never hear it.

While waiting for school to officially begin, Karin met with Byakuya, who did just as she expected of him. While applauding her recent acceptance into the shinigami school, it didn't excuse her for her rash and unruly behavior. When he uttered the words 'I believe I taught you better than that,' she had hung her head in shame and exasperation. Truly this man was as close to a father figure as she was going to get, but that didn't mean she had to sit there and take it. But she did, as Karin was forced to run two-hundred laps around the Kuchiki estate and do one-thousand swings of her katana before she was allowed to go home. If it wasn't for Rukia coming in to check on her, Karin was sure no one would've known she had passed out in a bucket of water from exhaustion. Thank goodness she did because dying due to drowning in a one-foot pale just wasn't the way she wanted to go.

As for her last few weeks, Karin spent it tending to the family business, sitting in on meetings with the elders about their latest worries and ideas. All of them were thrown at her in haste, as if her impending departure would spare them from her critical eyes, as she judged each projects' worth. But they had no such luck, as she allowed for a new irrigation system to be built in one of the villages they owned but refused to capitalize on a growing business in the Fortieth. She didn't get a good feeling from it, deeming that it was going to go south just as quickly as it'd risen.

She felt the need to square away all of these dealings so she could leave with some peace of mind, especially since it would be months until her return. It helped ease her worries knowing the Kuchiki House would take care of her family and home in her absence, which only further strengthened her resolve. As she came to terms with the thought that she was moving forward with her goal to become the family head, Karin was more and more troubled by the fact that this was not only for herself, but for every person who had—knowingly or not—sacrificed for her to get this far. She'd lived her life for the greatest good, giving herself completely and pushing every limitation she had to reach her current level. Still, in the back of her mind, she couldn't help but wonder if everything she'd done up until now was going to be enough to take her that far.

* * *

><p>"Kurosaki Kazuto…"<p>

Staring down at the application before him, teal eyes narrowed at the unfamiliar face, taking in midnight hair and stone gray eyes, eyes that were almost identical to his deceased brother's. A shiver ran down his spine, remembering the trained strength of the young nobleman and his impeccable form. All of the captains knew that this Kazuto kid didn't truly need the education at Shino Academy, was probably light years beyond his fellow classmates already, but there was also anticipation there. The Noble Houses turned out some of the best and brightest, but none more so than the famed Kurosaki's and their unforgivably powerful sons.

Before him, the world hadn't seen anyone like Kurosaki Ichigo, a man who ran around with a sword that was a dozen times larger than a normal one, always released and with spirit energy that ran rampant almost as much as Zaraki's. He was a loner by nature, but people were drawn to him like a moth to a flame, awed by his power that he seemed to think was trivial and the status that clung to him even outside the walls of his home and the parliament chambers. Admittedly Hitsugaya himself couldn't help but watch the orange-haired man from a distance, the gap between their abilities intriguing to the younger prodigy. And from some silent but mutual understanding of this, they had become friends and then colleagues, graduating at the same time because of Hitsugaya's proficiency.

But because they'd drifted apart, split by his duties as the Tenth's newest captain and Ichigo's as he took his place in the Fifth beneath his father as his Third Seat, they hadn't gotten the chance to reconnect before he'd died. What was even more unfortunate was that it wasn't some accident or an army of hollows that had done him in like most. Instead, it was one of the _Gotei_ Thirteen's own, a man who had gained the trust of everyone around him and yet had toyed with their lives as if they were dispensable. Growling deep in his throat at the unforgiving betrayal, Toushirou didn't hear the door slide open, but the high-pitched greeting was more than enough of a warning.

"_Taichou_, I'm back!" Matsumoto singsong-ed, skipping in and approaching her captain. She peered down at what had captured his earnest attention, her lips puckering in question. "_Ara?_ Isn't that the new student all of the Divisions are buzzing about?"

"Oi, Matsumoto!" he yelled, as she plucked it from in front of him with deft fingers, looking at the picture and promptly squealing in delight.

"Oh, he's _so_ cute, _Taichou_! What's his name?" She glanced at the mini-biography below the portrait and her eyes roved over the captains' overall assessment of the young man. "Kurosaki Kazuto… Oh, of the Kurosaki House? So hot and rich. He's gonna be really popular at the Academy. Whoa, and these marks are incredible! Even Kuchiki-taichou gave him some good comments, and that man can't even give praise to his subordinates without looking like he's having a hernia."

"Give me that," Toushirou said with an irritated exhale and placing it back on his wooden table. Glaring at the busty blonde before him, he reshuffled the papers of the latest students and put them off to the side. "He's already an exceptional learner, but that's not why I was looking into him."

"Oh really?" She raised an eyebrow at him, her blue eyes shining with unmasked delight. "Then why the interest, Taichou? You've never looked so taken with some student before."

"It's not what you think," he grumbled irritably, assembling a new stack of paperwork before him so that he wouldn't have to meet his lieutenant's expectant gaze. "I knew his brother, Kurosaki Ichigo. He did something for me that I can't ever truly repay, so now I feel like this kid's my responsibility."

"What did he do?" All hints of teasing were gone, her voice letting out the frown that was so obviously on her face. But she was met with the other's silence, as he glared down at the page before him, eyes unseeing of anything.

In his mind, he replayed that night over fifty years ago, remembering how he'd been called to scout the area where a number of their comrades had been drawn out because of some mysterious but scarily strong hollows. It was only later that everyone found out that those so-called hollows were shinigami experiments by the Fifth's former lieutenant, as he played all of the _Gotei_ Thirteen like a well-tuned instrument. And Hitsugaya knew he might have turned into one of those damned Halflings, as he'd been given instructions to follow after them, but had been pulled aside by Hinamori, the then-Fourth Seat under Kurosaki-_taichou_.

She'd pleaded with him not to go, saying she had a bad feeling because of it, that something was wrong with Aizen-_fukutaichou_ but she had no idea what. At the time, he'd thought she was overreacting, knowing that she held a small flame for the quiet, intelligent man, and therefore was prone to worry excessively over him. Looking back on it now, it twisted his guts to know that Momo had cared for the traitor that way, especially with the information they had on that bastard now. At the time, Hitsugaya hadn't wanted to leave her by herself, not when she was so obviously distraught and worried for his safety, as her red eyes begged him to understand what she was saying. So when Ichigo had chanced upon them, confused and just a little protective over the young girl, he'd sealed his fate by volunteering to go on Toushirou's behalf, seeing no harm in surveying the scene and perhaps come across its cause. Hinamori had rushed at him as well, not wanting anyone to follow the covert group that had ended up on their final mission that eventually led to their second deaths. But he was a stubborn man, full of a softhearted need to protect and easy confidence that Hitsugaya claimed would get him killed one day.

If he'd known what was going to happen to Ichigo only moments later, he'd take back every single one of his insults and claims against the older man, as he remembered watching the other fly into the dark sky for the last time. So many years, and still that shame ate at him, wondering if he should've been the one to die that day, the one to meet his end as a masked terror and at the edge of a former ally's blade. He knew the same happened to Hinamori on occasion, who was left with the captaincy and no one to fill it, the first inheritor dead and the second not even born yet. With the worst timing possible, she'd been promoted to vice captain only days later, given the responsibility of rebuilding an entire squad with her own two hands while grieving her friend's death, one she felt she had a hand in serving. That was the day Isshin left, only to never return.

But in spite of the endless sorrow that incidence caused, one good thing did happen because of it, as tiny and insignificant as it was. Her undertaking of the Fifth had brought him and Hinamori closer after years of distance, as their teamwork reminded them of simpler times and a friendship that had long been on hold. It forced them to reminisce about how they had grow up side-by-side in _Rukongai_ with their granny, sharing stories and memories and a few plates of _amanatto_ when one of them felt inspired to get some. Without meaning to, they drew strength from each other and it had fostered into their current friendship, giving him back the smallest bit of peace that he had so desperately needed.

"Oi, _Taichou_? Did you hear me?" Rangiku waved her hand in front of the younger shinigami's eyes, as he blinked and looked around the room. Over half a century and the memory was still as clear as the sunlight coming through the window. Without competely registering it, his eyes unwittingly fell to the handsome face of the incoming Kurosaki, so different from his old friend's and yet so familiar it almost pained him to looked at it. Refusing to meet Matsumoto's eyes, he replied in an unusually solemn tone.

"Kurosaki Ichigo saved my life, so now it's time for me to do the job he hadn't gotten the chance to do."

* * *

><p>As soon as the waiting period lapsed, Karin was dressed in those traditional blue and white uniforms and shipped off to the Academy, though not without a one-sided fight from her sister and a watery-eyed lecture from her mother. Neither incidents had visibly gotten to her, but inside she was torn in two at their sorry excuses for goodbyes. This was for the best, that was what she had to keep telling herself, as she waved farewell to them, the house staff and even a few of the more amicable advisors. Because this was how every previous clan head had gone, head held high with pride as they took their first steps into the outside world.<p>

But for Karin, it was only loneliness that she took with her.

Making her way to the institute that would become her home, she did her best to blend into the crowd as much as possible. It was a worthy effort but a useless one, as everyone seemed to part as she walked only to turn their heads away to whisper about her. At the very least they weren't saying horrible things from what she could tell, mostly just curious about her mysterious upbringing and that terrifying potential she had showcased. From what she knew, only a few of the dignitaries allowed their children to become shinigami and most were from the Great Four. Those who were of lower aristocracy turned their noses up at the drudge work that it took to become a soul reaper, deciding that their families' time was better spent being lazy, idle and content. That mentality didn't fit the young Kurosaki at all.

When she got in line, she was directed to her place among the first years, as they assembled to sit in lines within the training grounds. The welcoming ceremony was going to begin with Genryuusai-_soutaichou_ giving the opening remarks. Looking down at her new robes, in the back of her mind, another set came to mind, one that she'd found while looking for a few things to take with her to her dormitory. It was her brother's uniform, a token that her mother hadn't been able to part with, and so it stayed in a small box in the storage house, collecting dirt and holding memories. Just thinking of how much larger and how well worn it was made the small bundle of anxiety grow inside her, his legacy always just a few steps ahead of her.

"Please sit everyone, as we will be beginning shortly," a miscellaneous shinigami said at the podium, everyone hushing each other as they noticed the elite group being led in. The stage soon filled with the captains, their lieutenants and the top instructors of the Academy. Out of all of them, Karin's eyes followed the memorable shock of white hair and that _haori_ of his, though she cursed herself as she did.

_I better be watching you 'cause I don't find you ugly…_ she thought to herself, forcing her eyes from him and to the ancient man who was coming to the front of the stage. She recognized him immediately.

Yamamoto Genryuusai was the oldest, most experienced and most powerful shinigami in _Seireitei_, a force who went unparalleled even after all these centuries. Her mother had told her that Ichigo was quite close to him, calling him informally by 'Yama-jii' and shocking a number of the ranked and unranked squad members because of it. And for reasons still not known, the other man was accepting of it, though probably begrudgingly so.

"Good morning to you all," came the wheezing voice of the man before them, a tribute to his long span in this realm. And even though she was seated off to his far right, she was susceptible to that quiet strength of his coming off in waves and she wondered if anyone else comprehended just how great this man was.

His speech was what she'd expected, a short history of the Academy coupled with the mentioning of a few important names along with it. There was also a brief introduction of those behind him as polite applause was given, but otherwise the students were silent. Perhaps it was out of duty that the audience seemed to stare at the charismatic speaker, drinking in every word with willful nods and high hopes. But to Karin, she thought that his words, while inspiring, weren't anything she felt the need to pay very close attention to, her concentration drifting to those who were seated behind him.

The headmaster and his peers were too far left for her to see fully, but she gave them each once-overs, wondering just how good they were and how much knowledge they'd be able to impart on her. Without conceit, Karin was well aware that she was a quick study and had been briefed in nearly the entire school's curriculum over the last four and a half decades. Before she could even construct a proper sentence, she'd been taught the production theory behind _kidou_ and its channels throughout the body. It was almost unfair how much the elders had forced into her, intent on either forming the perfect being or shattering her will. And as one can see, it all turned out well for the young Kurosaki, currently in one piece and happily so. Unseeing her eyes wandered across the backdrop, her inattention caught the displeased look of someone on stage.

She felt like she was drowning in clear, blue water.

Mouth set in that distinct frown, Hitsugaya-_taichou_ watched her with that stare many of the advisors gave her as a child, the kind that was reprimanding while telling her to at least pretend she was hearing what they were saying. If she was still that young Kazuto, who didn't even stifle those large yawns or who'd fidget restlessly for hours, she probably would've stuck her tongue out at him. But that was a Karin move, and right now Kazuto was the one being chastised so she had to act as coolly dignified as she could muster.

Meeting his disapproving eye, she raised a brow that was disturbingly sarcastic while somehow completely composed. _May I help you?_

He only glared harder at her. _You should be paying attention._

She frowned darkly, as if insulted by the insinuation that she wasn't listening (even though he was completely right). _I am. Why don't you take your own advice?_

The response had the tip of his eyelid twitching uncontrollably, and Karin could almost see his _reiatsu_ spark around him. It caught the attention of the other officers, who turned to stare at the young prodigy with curious eyes. Whatever was going on with him had to have been better than what the _soutaichou_ was spouting off, which was essentially the same speech he gave every year. But he didn't meet their gazes, only glowered at the girl disguised as a boy, who gave him that same non-impressed look before shifting her focus back to Yamamoto and ignoring him completely. Only one thought came to Toushirou's mind, as he reined his temper in and counted to ten slowly.

_Even though I don't know this Kurosaki, I'm pretty sure I already _hate_ him._

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: And that's all there is! The little bit of HitsuKarin will have to placate you guys for a while. We still have a few chapters until they really start to interact. Please let me know what you guys think by reviewing and don't forget to favorite/alert if you enjoyed.

Next chapter: Karin has trouble communicating with her zanapakuto and meets the Tenth's flirty lieutenant.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Until next time!


	5. Chapter Four: Invisible Wall

**AN**: And I'm back~ Actually, I have the next two chapters written and raring to go, but if I space out the distribution I don't feel so pressured to update and I tend to write more in my spare time, so I'm holding onto them for a while.

Also, you guys really liked _The Plan_, and when I read the reviews I was like, 'Why?' LOL! I didn't initially want to post it, but writing is writing so I did so anyway. And, because you guys are awesome and I love you all, _**I'm going to make it a short story!**_ Probably five to seven chapters. I actually did the same thing with _A Lifetime With You_. Originally a two-shot that became a short (but long) love story. If you love me, click that review button at the bottom and favorite/alert. Thanks guys! =D

And for this chapter's thank-you's...

**Nom**: I think Karin should always win, but I'm a little biased, of course. LOL Toushirou... well, he gets the girl. That's always good, right? :) Thanks for reviewing!

**elarhy**: I actually intended for the entrance exam to be one part, but it got too long so I split it at the third test so the continuation didn't have the same _umph_ as it did in the original document. As for the flashback... Well, FFNet eff-ed with my document and all the changes I made (and there were A LOT) didn't get saved. I liked that version a lot better but there was nothing I could do and I was too lazy to really re-edit it. :/ As for the HitsuKarin, that was just some fun for me and you guys. :D Thanks for reading~

**Ellie22**: I'm glad my updates make you feel pathetic and excited. I've gotta be doing something right! I look forward to your review this time around, and I'll do my best to get_ HTSH!_ out asap. Thanks!

**Mary-goround**: You've been with me since_ Homecoming or Coming Home?_, right? =D Thank you for taking the time to review pretty much everything I've written. I'm really grateful for the encouragement.

**anonym**: Thank you. I really wanted to fit a little HitsuKarin action where I could. As for her zanpakuto... It's a secret! =D You'll just have to wait and find out.

_Warnings_: Some dark-ish threats. This chapter is pretty mild but a lot happens.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Four: Invisible Wall<em>

Six months into the first year blew by fast for Karin, or better yet 'Kazuto-sama.' It went without saying that she trampled her classmates when it came to just about every area of study, and her instructors were more than impressed. They'd offered her the chance for early graduation as long as she completed the requirements as instructed and so she took it, deciding that the faster she was out of here the better. Because, while few outwardly despised the Kurosaki heir, Karin was far from accepted by her peers, and everyone in the old, white building knew it.

Thanks to Byakuya, she'd been allowed her own dorm room, one that was particularly small but just fine with her considering she couldn't risk having a roommate on her heels. But the gesture had been seen as a pompous one, as people thought she was much too protective of her privacy or just too good to mingle with lower class citizens. She wished it was that simple.

Unfortunately, in spite of her steady growth in power, the one prerequisite for the completion program was the one thing she couldn't achieve. And it was the one aspect of the shinigami arts that she hadn't been able to master beforehand, the only thing that made her lose confidence completely in her capacity to learn and absorb the teachings she'd been forced to understand. But this was a task that couldn't really be taught or handed down by knowledge, as it was individual to each person who went through it. However, it was arguably the single-most important step for a shinigami, a rite of passage that all had to go through to stand equally with others in their squad, and yet the ability continued to elude her.

Because Karin couldn't summon her zanpakuto.

It was crushing, to think that the one tangible aspect of her power and essentially the one that defined almost all soul reapers was the only thing she couldn't achieve. Her classmates were in the middle of learning _jinzen_, that deep meditation to get into one's own inner world and meet the materialization of their soul. But to make a deal with another spirit wasn't a pact that was done easily. It took people years to develop that bond and trust, knowing that one would need the other to survive battle and prevent second death, an intangible tie that forced two otherwise incompatible beings together. And depending on what kind of ethereal personality a shinigami made a contract with, it could either be a great partnership or a doomed one.

But Karin was sure hers was different. She knew she had a zanpakuto but her access to it wasn't panning out. After all, if she didn't have one, she was sure she'd know by now, especially after all her failed attempts to speak with it. Two of the most famous captains in recent history didn't manifest any type of spirits but had gone on to do great things in their posts. One was the former heiress to the Shihouin House, Shihouin Yoruichi, who had decided to go rogue alongside her closest companion from the Twelfth Squad. But she had been one hell of a captain; light and breezy was her nature but physically and spiritually more gifted than any other. And as the Goddess of Flash, she was unmatched in hand-to-hand combat, to the point that most zanpakuto couldn't touch her, let alone slice her dark skin.

The second was the monster of a man from Karin's exam, Kenpachi Zaraki. With his massive spiritual energy and bloodthirstiness for a good fight, he had torn through his predecessor with nothing but a dulled sword and brute strength on his side, commanding his squad's fear and respect eith his win. In truth, his current zanpakuto wasn't even his, a memento from the now-dead former captain of the Eleventh, and thus, his name was written into history as one of the strongest shinigami alive.

However, those were two very different and very specific cases, each following two extraordinary people and while Karin considered herself special she wasn't on par with them. No, there was a definite barrier in her mind, one that kept her from crossing into the next world. And what was even stranger was the fact that she was sure it belonged to a third party. The wall was neither a creation of hers nor the other soul's, but some outsider who had forced it between them. When she thought of her circumstances like this, her blood boiled hot and angry, the unfairness catching her at the most random times. In the middle of a walk, during a practice match, in the middle of homework, she'd find herself unconsciously trying to communicate with her other half and yet there'd be no response.

Deciding this couldn't go on forever, Karin was out to look for answers.

* * *

><p>"Kuchiki-dono will see you now."<p>

The woman bowing to the floor raised her head to the beautiful nobleman, as Kazuto nodded in thanks. Blushing beneath that midnight gaze, she mentally told herself to stay calm, as she led the other to her master's private sitting room. But one would have to be blind not to notice the obvious prettiness of the Kurosaki boy, whose personality was considerably warmer than the Kuchiki head's and somehow that much more attainable in the eyes of the female masses, including Kazuto's own schoolmates.

Of course Karin was acquainted with her large popularity in Shino Academy. But then again, it was hardly a secret since every girl, regardless of age, seemed to follow her whenever she walked by. And even if they weren't so apparent, Karin would know, as scarily perceptive as she was even without her training. While boys looked upon her like the rival she suspected they would, females flocked to her side with shamelessness that she hadn't seen before. Being raised around nobility meant that the majority of women she met were proper when they interacted with someone of the male species, hands perfectly folded and fan hiding their faces as they flirted indirectly with their eyes. If she didn't know that Rukia was quite the tomboy herself, Karin was sure that that was the sort of behavior all women were expected to show Kazuto.

But her old-fashioned ways weren't very popular with the rural folks, she learned, as they were the types who were strong-willed and energetic, perhaps closer to her secret personality than the royals she was used to. And while she admired them for their forwardness and pluck, she'd be lying if she said she wasn't just a little bit terrified of them as well. She'd lost count of the number of invitations she'd been given, the hand-written love letters and even the number of duels she'd been challenged to by a boy who was hopelessly in love with the girl who only had eyes for 'Kazuto-sama.' A part of her was a bit angry at her own gender because she had a feeling that she was living some male's ultimate dream but it was truly just her hellish reality.

When they arrived at the study, the servant bowed gracefully to her before scurrying down the hall, leaving Karin to enter alone. Their master's private rooms were strictly off-limits to those who were not allowed, so the young girl took no offense to her hasty retreat. She entered with a gentle scuffle of her feet against the mats before taking a seat to wait for her mentor, eyes closing to will some strength into her bones.

"So you've come, Kazuto," a deep voice interrupted, breaking her from her thoughts. Karin didn't turn to watch him enter; instead, she waited for the other to take his seat across from her. They didn't speak any greetings, but they weren't really necessary. While not bonded by blood, Karin and Byakuya were as close as family, though she knew it still pained him to think of her that way. He liked to keep his business and private life as separate as possible.

"Why have you called me out today?" he asked, moving to grab the kettle off to the side to pour tea for them.

"I need a bit of your insight, Byakuya-nii-san." She took it with a small 'thank you,' blowing the steam before taking a long sip. She always hated formal meetings with this man. There was that feeling in the air that put her on edge, and no matter how many times she shared a table with him, it never dissipated in the slightest.

"I see. Then speak freely. I'm interested in what kind of information you seek if you've come all this way." The Kuchiki House was known for its records-keeping, the responsibility of the family since the very beginning of _Seireitei_'s origins. On top of that, Byakuya was well versed in a number of different studies she didn't even fully comprehend, so of course he would be the most logical choice for her inquiry, as mysterious and rare as it was.

"I'm having trouble contacting my zanpakuto." Her fingers tightened imperceptibly around her mug, uncomfortable with the admittance. From his very lips, she'd been told only the strong survived, and that that was what the Noble Houses and their leaders were supposed to be, impenetrable to the outside world. To give up that piece of information was difficult, painfully so, as she met his eyes with hardened determination. "But I have a feeling that it's not because of me. There's this obstruction that sits between us and it's something that keeps me from speaking to it, and thus I can't call its name or bring its form into this world."

"It's an odd predicament," he replied after a moment, sipping the scalding tea with two perfectly placed hands, eyes falling closed in thought. But she was desperate for an answer from him, even a slight clue would be enough. Because she was grabbing at straws right now, and nothing of substance could be found in them. As he opened his eyes and stared at her, he began to interrogate the circumstances surrounding the enigmatic situation.

"What makes you believe that it isn't your zanpakuto's doing? Many of the stronger spirits purposely make it difficult to call them out. It helps prove their master's worth."

She shook her head ruefully. "It's impossible to tear down. Usually with a zanpakuto, they'd want you to find them eventually, right? Because it benefits you both once one has proven oneself worthy of the other and the other accepts the shinigami. But this wall between us, it just sits there with the purpose of keeping me out."

"What of this wall? Can you describe it to me?"

"I don't know if I've properly visualized it before…" By the look in his eyes, she understood his muted command. She closed her eyes again and took a deep breath, going into _jinzen_ at will just as she was instructed. But once there, Karin knew that what she saw wasn't anything she was familiar with, patterns flying behind her eyelids and ties constricting what she was sure was her zanpakuto. Just the thought brought up her fiery resentment, and as she came back to the drawing room, her face showed that ire. "There are enchantments. Literally charms upon charms and ropes tying it down, keeping it sealed. But now that I think about it, it's less like a barrier and more like the zanpakuto is trapped inside something. But what it is, I'm not sure."

"A conundrum, to be sure." Frowning a little deeper, Byakuya visibly ruminated on the subject, marinating the new details and sifting through his extensive knowledge for an answer. As she waited, Karin could feel her chest palpitate, waiting to see if anything might be of use. Unfortunately, he was just as in the dark as she was.

"I'm sorry, but I don't recall there ever being such a case in Soul Society in recent history. However, I will look into the family records to see if any unusual cases might be of use."

"I see." She sighed, looking just the slightest bit defeated but nodded gratefully for his help. "Please do that, and if you find anything, inform me as soon as possible." With a graceful bow, she excused herself and was out the door, spirits dampened but with the tiniest bit of hope still lingering on the outskirts of her heart.

* * *

><p>As the next few months progressed, nothing of significance came from the Kuchiki clan and Karin was starting to feel very down on herself. Her teachers were also a bit confused as well, remembering her brother and some even her father, both of whom had come into the school with zanpakutos at their sides (or in Ichigo's case, on his back). More than a few times, she'd gotten worried looks from them mixed with something else—she couldn't decide if it was pity or disappointment, but she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know—so she did her best to reassure them. It was a vain effort, but a valiant one.<p>

A few of her classmates had been able to contact their zanpakuto, and they were hailed by those of the same year as gods. Although a touch envious, she didn't think too much of them, mostly because their overall abilities were nowhere near hers. Besides, it wasn't a competition, not for her at least. This was her life on the line, her title and her family's welfare, so she didn't have the time to feel sad for herself or angry over another's success. No, she had greater things to do, bigger dreams to make true and even larger gaps to fill with her tiny presence.

But they didn't let it go, those chosen few who were _so close_ to finding out their zanpakuto's names, or so they said. And today was such a day, as their legal class mercifully ended with an hour to spare. With their first year about to end in just another two months, everyone was prepping for many of their midterms, practicals and the like, which meant that professors were being increasingly more lenient time-wise. In the case of this class, Karin's male form was well versed in the bureaucracy of paperwork, but even she deemed that three hours a week dedicated to it seemed like overkill.

Stepping into the hallway with her school things in hand, she didn't even notice the oversized boy who purposely shoved into her right arm, causing her notes and book to clatter to the floor. With a scowl, she met the smug stare of Fukuda Taro, a one-time pickpocket from the Sixty-Eighth District. Now, he was just an overbearing idiot and thorn in her side.

"You should be more careful, Kurosaki-_dono_," he barked, her title spoken as if he was spitting out a rotten seed. Just the sound of it had her narrowing her eyes sharply, forgetting the fallen things as she stood before him with certain death in her eyes. Forget that there was a crowd forming around them and their instructors would probably arrive soon. She was going to settle this useless bullying, even if she had to shed blood for it.

"Perhaps if you fit through the door more easily, I wouldn't have to be so careful of where I stand," she shot back, the masculine sound of Kazuto's tenor her most convincing trait. It struck fear into men's hearts just as quickly as it broke a woman's, her nearly perfect weapon in the art of debate. And judging by the clenching of the other man's jaw, she knew it had him on edge.

"You talk big, pretty boy, but you ain't that special," he sneered, his already ugly face becoming grotesque with outright jealousy and condescension. "So you're the top of the class. You don't even got your own zanpakuto! Hell, it probably doesn't even want some kid like you as a master! Ran away before it got tied down to your girly ass."

Schooling her features into that emotionless, aristocratic mask she hated so much, Karin gave him her best impression of an uncaring Byakuya, eyes dead and lips set into a perfect line. She hoped it irritated him just as much as the older man's annoyed her. "My zanpakuto will come to me as it chooses, at a time when I am ready and not a moment before. If you have a problem with that, then perhaps your own sorry excuse for a guardian can console you at night. But my abilities speak for themselves, as will my zanpakuto when it comes to me."

"_Che_, pretty words, that's all you are." He grinned at her, smugly crossing his arms over his chest and staring down his nose at her. But she wasn't intimidated in the slightest, as she turned her back to him to gather her fallen leaflets and texts, thanking a nearby girl for helping. She was going to walk away, be the bigger person she sometimes hated being, and forget the incident, but then he spoke again, words that were so unforgivable that she couldn't let them pass for all the gold in the world.

"No wonder the guys in your family are all dead. Hell, you'll probably end up just like 'em."

Her body reacted out of pure instinct, the need to avenge her fallen kin even stronger than the need to defend her pride. Without an incantation and only her right hand for guidance, she summoned her _kidou_ in the form of _Bakudo Four: Hainawa_, the yellow cords constricting around Taro's monstrous form. It knocked him off balance, causing the man to fall face forward and onto the wooden floor. Staring down at him, she took a few steps forward, letting her glower fill her usually trained face and threaten the restrained soul more than her words ever could.

"Because you're as ignorant as you are ugly, I'll give you fair warning," she said, feeling the façade of Kazuto make way for her true self, which was infinitely more comfortable than the other role she played so well. Taking a deep breath, she spoke to him in a dark, almost disturbed voice that screamed of her revulsion.

"It's one thing to speak ill of me and my flaws, and for those I can forgive because not everyone is as lucky as I. However in the case of my family—" she hoisted him up with her right fist balled in his uniform, coming eye to eye with the shocked giant "—if you say even one thing out of turn, I will happily turn you into a eunuch and force feed you your male parts. Keep that in mind the next time we make eye contact, and if you get that need to open your mouth to say something stupid, here's a word of advice, _don't do it_."

Dropping him back to the floor, she could hear the shouts of teachers coming down the hallway, parting the audience of students as they did. Reluctantly she unbound him, though the traces of her _kidou_ were most definitely on him. But it was fine; she could deal with whatever punishment came down on her head but she'd never forgive herself if she'd walked away from that low blow, especially if it concerned her honored father and brother.

"What is going on here?" Sato-sensei broke in, his entry greeting him with a closed-off Kurosaki and a cowering Fukuda. Although he didn't have the whole story, he could easily guess how it had ended. "Kurosaki, Fukuda, follow me. We'll discuss this matter in private."

As the students began to disperse, whispers of gossip following in their wake, he could only sigh and wonder what happened between his two students. While Kurosaki was normally rather antisocial, he wasn't the type that was prone to bouts of anger nor did he rise easily to taunts, which were most oftentimes aimed at his intelligence and origins. On the other, there was Fukuda, who put on that tough air despite the fact that he didn't need to. He'd be a good shinigami someday, as long as he took his studies a little more seriously. However, that didn't really bridge the reason between them and their whole escapade in the hall.

Stepping into the main office, he noticed the eyes of the other teachers, guessing that these two must have been the culprits behind the whole fiasco just now. While not really surprised at Fukuda's presence since they were all aware of his loudmouth ways, the Kurosaki boy was definitely a shocker, as they'd guessed him to be too proper to do something that would hurt his reputation. Leading his students in, the three of them were seated at a table in the far right corner to discuss the details, hoping for a semblance of privacy in the fairly crowded lounge. After hearing both sides, their professor could only shake his head, disappointed in their rashness and just overall exasperated by their actions.

"Despite the fact that Fukuda did start the fight, you understand that I must punish you both, correct?" he asked, eyeing them warily. When both nodded, he stopped as the door opened and a melodic voice happily greeted the entirety of the room.

"Hello, everyone! I have a delivery for… Sato-sensei?" The woman looked around, her large breasts bounding with the movement and hypnotizing every male in the vicinity. On the other hand, the women just poked rather weakly at their own, wondering why theirs weren't bouncing like the fair-haired beauty's chest before them. With a tomato red face and blood spurting down his nose, he raised his hand to grab the attention of the buxom woman, who looked over and smiled winningly. Inwardly Karin was wondering just what kind of freak show she was currently a part of and if she could get out of this scot-free because of it.

"Oh, Matsumoto-_fukutaichou_, you're looking well, and as lovely as ever," Sato proclaimed, eyes not quite making it up from her cleavage. It took all of Karin's self-control to not physically crane his neck upwards and give the woman a little more respect. However, the vice captain didn't even seem to notice, as she handed him a large, brown envelope with a wink.

"These are straight from my captain. We're looking forward to the newest graduates this year. I hope you'll recommend our choices to us at the Tenth." Though they were plain words in theory, the way she said them was like a siren's song, a relentless pull on the man's senses that had him obeying her every word. And while Karin didn't completely understand feminine mystique, she appreciated a true master when she saw one.

"Of course, Matsumoto-_fukutaichou_! Now, about this weekend—"

"Oh my, who is this?" she interrupted, moving around the desk to stand next to Karin. Leaning forward, she inspected the noble with big blue eyes that were rapt with curiosity, blinking happily as she took 'Kazuto' in. Karin couldn't help but wonder if she was flashing her on purpose because her breasts was hanging there in front of her, and while they were very nice Karin wasn't as particularly amazed by boobs as much as people wanted her to be.

"You're the Kurosaki boy that Taichou is always obsessing about," she said with a bit of recognition, eyes sparkling as she fully comprehended who this young man was. "He's always checking in on your grades, progress reports, things like that. He's kind of in love with you."

"I'm sorry, _who?_" she asked, raising a brow sharply in question. "And while we're on the subject, who are you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me," the beauty laughed, waving her hand as if brushing her rudeness aside. While not a stickler for rules on the same par as, say, the Kuchiki's, even Karin knew that it wasn't okay to just spout off nonsense to strangers. "I'm Matsumoto Rangiku, lieutenant of the Tenth Division. The guy I was talking about before was my boss, Hitsugaya Toushirou, my captain."

"Hitsugaya Toushirou," she repeated, noting how the name tasted oddly sweet on her tongue. She'd never had much interest in men before, not with her upbringing and the lack of eligible men around (though there never seemed to be an end to the cornucopia of women she'd been subjected to). But this Toushirou guy, she had to admit that he was interesting to her, if only to feed some weird curiosity related to her latent femininity.

"Yeah. He said he knew your brother," Rangiku offered, tapping her chin as if she was trying to remember his exact words.

"Oh… I think he and I met, once." Karin shrugged, deciding that their rather odd exchange at the opening ceremony months ago didn't really count as a meeting. It was more of an argument about nothing and that in itself would be hard to explain.

"Is that so?" As she seemed to realize just where she was, Matsumoto also began to wonder why the young heir was sitting in the teacher's lounge alongside some husky man with beady, little eyes. "Why are you here anyway? Don't have you classes?"

"I'm in trouble." She didn't say anything else. It seemed to describe the entire situation well enough.

"Hmm," she hummed, before leaning over to whisper into her ear, sounding too much like a conspirator on a jewel heist. "Let's see if we can't do something about that." Straightening, she gave a cat-like smile to Sato-sensei again, whose spine lengthened immediately at her renewed attention. Karin couldn't begin to understand what was going on, as the sky-eyed blonde sauntered up to him with a slight sway to her hips. Whatever it was though, Karin was fairly sure it was going to work.

"Oh, Sato-sensei, couldn't you forgive Kazuto-kun just this once?" she pleaded, eyes wide as she seductively begged for a pass on the punishment. Sputtering around himself and somehow not saying anything but gibberish, he nodded dumbly at her request, as if it was his life's mission to please the woman. As Matsumoto turned back and gave Karin a 'V' for victory, the younger girl wasn't sure if she was grateful or just perplexed by the turn of events. But as she was tugged out by an excited vice captain, who waved at all her admirers with a blown kiss or two behind her, Karin decided it was best to just let it go.

"Thanks for back there. You didn't have to help me but you did," she said with a bow, not sure of what else she could say. It was a rather plain statement for such an unorthodox rescue, but it was all she had at the moment.

The older woman waved her hand again, as if her words were unnecessary. "Don't worry about it. My _taichou_ would've wanted me to do something." And although Karin wanted to know why he would want that and how she'd know, she bit back her tongue and swallowed the words. She didn't know anything about the man named Hitsugaya or his subordinate, so it was best to not look a gift in the mouth, or at the very least not question a stroke of dumb luck. As the woman said her goodbyes, she stopped before she got too far and turned back to Karin, who looked at her with an inquisitive tilt of her head.

"Hey do me a favor, Kurosaki," she said, as a mischievous smile overtook her pretty features. It almost made her shiver in discomfort, unsure if she should agree, but she nodded to appease the officer before her. The bright grin she got in return was almost worth it, as she said her piece before walking off. "Next time you meet Hitsugaya-_taichou_, please don't be so mean and throw him sarcastic glances again. He's a bit of a stick in the mud, but he's adorable and I love him to bits. Remember that in the future, okay?"

The bright and embarrassed blush on her face didn't cool for a long while.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: I'm not gonna lie, that last scene was for me. This thing is so serious, but I wanted to write something a little light-hearted in contrast to it. But, there you go. Your thoughts are always welcome, critiques are always accepted but flames are a big no-no, as usual.

Next chapter: Time skip and the introduction of Karin's zanpakuto.

Until next time, guys! :D


	6. Chapter Five: Breaking the Seal

**AN**: In spite of my writer's block, I was able to write for _Go Against the Grain_ consistently over the last few weeks so I'm ahead of schedule. Still not sure about my other works though. We'll see if I find something worth writing about. If not, I'm probably just gonna stick with this story and focus on it since there's still a ways to go. I can't even guess how long it's gonna be but it'll definitely be one of my longer fics (if that reassures anyone, then yay! Haha.).

**Empresseror88**: I agree. I really wanted to write a scene that kind of depicted the line between Karin and Kazuto, so that came to mind. Honestly, as much as I love Kazuto, it's a lot more fun to write Karin. Haha. Thanks for reading!

**Melissa986**: I'm glad you enjoyed reading my other stories. I hope you're liking this one as well. Thanks! :)

**MikaBee2434Love**: I've updated pretty promptly, in my opinion. Haha. Thanks for reading and I hope you like this chapter as well.

**Freezheer**: I'm happy that you've enjoyed pretty much everything I've written. I hope this lives up to your expectations as well. =D

Anyway, that's all! Enjoy Karin's zanpakuto, everyone!

_Warnings_: Absolutely none, in my opinion. :)

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Five: Breaking the Seal<em>

With their first year closing without much ado, Karin had been sent home for the two-month vacation and had decided to spend it with her family, just as many others had chosen. However, for those in situations where going home was akin to some nightmarish reality, they opted to stay in their dorms, using the training grounds and library freely during the time frame while essentially getting free room and board.

When she reached the threshold of the Kurosaki estate, Karin was summoned by the elders almost immediately, meaning that her stories for Yuzu and their mother had to be put on hold. She already knew the reason for their calling instinctively. They were going to grill her on her progress as they always did when it came to her studies, feeling out her growth and nitpick at it as they were so good at doing. Most of them still had a hard time accepting that she was as strong as she was, hoping that her acquisition of skills had been luck and not of her own diligence. Even now, it was still irritating that they underestimated her, as she ambled through the halls with an iron-straight back and steeled mind. Arriving at the consultation room, she took a deep breath to calm her nerves before stepping in and greeting the congregation.

While it wasn't necessarily a formal meeting, Karin certainly wasn't at peace in the room either, as she told them about the lessons she'd learned, techniques she'd mastered and if her overall stay had been satisfactory. She answered as they expected her to, honest with her observations in that the school was providing very good education for basic skills but lacked the ability to provide advanced learners more challenging curriculum. She left out any of her personal struggles, deciding that those weren't needed and that their coarse judgment of her shortcomings weren't constructive for her future development. Besides, they weren't the ones training her so it wasn't any of their business in the first place.

Karin reported that the faculty knew she was at a level higher than most of their sixth year students, but they also knew it wasn't possible for her to take on missions, as many of their top pupils did when assigned certain tasks from the _Gotei_ Thirteen. A number of the current vice captains and captains were those kinds of scholars, surpassing the need for the institution and essentially working as shinigami until graduation. However, without her zanpakuto, Karin wasn't allowed that privilege, as deserving as she was.

She didn't mention her problems to anyone other than Byakuya and she'd never offer the information to the geezers before her. It would give them reasonable doubt against her and her chances to succeed as the family's successor and the Fifth's future captain, which would cause widespread worry if the notion ever got out. As she was now, she'd probably be able to join the Kidou Corp. since she was so capable, but that wasn't what others or she herself wanted. Her place was in the Fifth's headquarters, directing trainees and supervising missions in both this world and the living. There were no other options in her mind.

After she was dismissed, she wasn't surprised to see Yuzu running towards her from the other end of the hall, ready to bowl her over in happiness and with unshed tears in her eyes. Their mother waited off to the side, opening her arms for that warm embrace of hers before leading her daughters down the hall. It had been strange, the honest emotion of being home, and yet it was the sweetest thing Karin had ever tasted. The fact that it only lasted two months made it all the more important, as she did her best to split her time between her family duties and the little pleasures she'd missed.

During her stay, it wasn't unheard of to see Kazuto-sama multitasking a number of jobs, balancing every single one with precision and care. Before going out to the market with Yuzu, Karin ran through a number of hearings about land disputes in far flung areas, acting as both judge and mediator. And when she sat in the garden while her mother tended to the plants, she was sifting through contracts that either needed to be renewed or terminated.

She didn't rest, too busy trying to catch up on the work that required her personal attention, and yet she felt more at ease in her home than she ever did on campus. So when her holiday came to an end, it was hard to say goodbye to those faces that helped her get up in the morning, who bid hello to her when she returned from an errand and looked at her with authentic happiness in their eyes. But it was a pill Karin swallowed whole, as she left the mansion just as quickly as she came with their well wishes still ringing in her ears.

The first month back to the Academy had led up to this moment, this awkward and completely terrifying field trip. On one hand, the teachers said it was to show them a piece of history that stood strong in Seireitei. On the other, the upperclassmen described it as a trick to brainwash them, to scare the newest generation into believing every lesson they were taught was the one and only truth. And judging by her classmates' unreadable expressions, Karin deemed that the older years were not only right, they were positively insightful.

_This is incredibly morbid and should be illegal_, Karin deemed, as she surveyed the group of newly appointed second years and their current location. After all, what else could an outing to Sokyoku Hill possibly mean?

Sokyoku's cliff overlooked the capital, its height a necessity for the bridge connecting it to the _Senzaikyu_ that housed fugitives undergoing the ultimate penalty, complete obliteration of one's soul by the fiery flames the gigantic weapon housed. While the endless blue sky stretched overhead, the White Forest met it at the other edge, a wooden but life-barren area that contrasted deeply with the metropolis below. But the most notorious element of this place was the halberd standing only meters away, tied to the ground by thick ropes supporting it and holding it upwards from the ground, released only by the _Kidoushu_ for an execution. And, as everyone had learned early in their history class last year, the heart of Sokyoku's strength was the entity living within, the phoenix aptly named Kikōō. His strength was nearly unparalleled, able to take on a million zanpakuto with one fell swoop of its beak and disintegrate a soul's entire essence in a moment.

Karin and her classmates were well aware of this, and had known it long before they were even inducted into Shino Academy since its reputation was rather infamous. Death by Kikōō was a sentence worse than eternal torment, or so they claimed, for one was painfully charred from the inside out with a fire that was equivalent to a thousand suns. The fact that the faculty saw it fit to introduce their young students to its power just proved that they were essentially browbeating the young shinigami. And sadly enough, Karin had to say it was working.

"Gather around everyone," one of the guides motioned to the large group as he spoke, a random squad member who was in charge of today's rather depressing festivities. As they did, Karin let her eyes travel the length of the skyscraper-high weapon, taking in the tip's gleam and its large base that extended into the sky. It was a tool made for a giant, and she could only wonder how it was wielded during capital punishment. Hopefully it wouldn't be someone she knew on the opposite end when she saw it in action, as the poor soul was held steadily by the executioner's stand.

While the unranked reaper spoke of its mysterious history and the circumstances around Sokyoku's existence, Karin felt her eyes constantly pulled in its direction, taking in the staff with wondering eyes. It should have struck fear, or at least a bit of wariness or anxiety, but it did neither. In fact, she was quite confident in saying that it did the opposite. There was something almost comforting about the excessively powerful weapon, something that made her feel sorry for it, as it stood at perfect attention and without purpose until the next ordered killing. A phoenix was meant to fly, she thought, as she imagined the flame-created bird and its ability to fill the sky with its greatness. It was a feeling that made her heart grow wings, and that in itself should've been troubling. But then a voice entered her mind, awakening a long lost friend she'd thought was impossible to reach.

_Release me…_

"What?" she asked to no one in particular, turning her head and trying to pinpoint the source of the nondescript talker. All she earned are a few confused whispers and a dirty look or two for having disturbed their concentration. Not paying them any attention, Karin scoured all around her for the piercing voice, a medium-toned sound that was quietly seductive, a come-hither of sorts to her senses. And yet it was distinctly regal, as if the speaker was someone of blood as blue as the ocean, a being older than Soul Society itself. The thought was jarring, as she heard it again but this time louder, a more desperate call for her.

_Release me… Call my name…_

_Who are you?_ she asked, realizing the voice wasn't coming from some outside spectator but within her head. Her pulse bounded in her chest, as she clutched her heart to prevent it from pushing out of her skin. This voice wasn't normal, too ethereal and beautiful to be some man-made melody, and instinctively she knew her zanpakuto was calling out to her. But why here, why now? She'd forced herself into meditation enough times that she should've made contact with it months ago. Instead, it was calling her out in broad daylight, as the sun beat down hotly and while she was fully aware of her surroundings. It just didn't make sense.

_I am close, so very close, Mistress…_ Karin nearly shivered, as even she forgot her own gender on occasion, so used to the one she had assembled over time. But this spirit was calling her and it knew everything, as giddy excitement started to run through her. It would be one more person she could trust, wholly and completely, with her heart, someone who'd never tell a soul. And the idea of making that much-needed connection was thrilling, something she'd put her own life on the line for.

_Where are you?_ she asked, physically moving out of the crowd and into a more open space to see if she'd find a clue. There was none.

_I am trapped, Mistress. Say my name so I may break these bonds that hold me._ It was louder now, stronger and more sure, as if she was getting closer to it. But the expanse was bare around her, as she swiveled her head back to the group of students and their guides. When her eyes trailed upwards, she sucked in a breath, not sure if her mind was playing tricks or if her gut was just exceptionally astute.

Because there it was, Sokyoku, the halberd that shocked so much fear into the hearts of shinigami and normal souls alike, lined in a red energy that was emanating from its center. The blade at the top reflected the sunlight and somehow she knew that no one else could see it, could sense the way it seemed to be pulsating beneath her gaze as if it was her own heartbeat. The name fell so softly from her lips, she was surprised she could even hear it.

"Release... Kikōō."

The physical bonds keeping the Sokyoku in place began to unwind completely, falling to the ground with a deafening crash. Many of her classmates screamed at the sight while others rushed off in the opposite direction, intent on getting off Sokyoku Hill with their lives intact. Calling upon his comrades and the teachers present, the main shinigami guided the unruly traffic, knowing that most of the students were still in the midst of learning _shunpo_ and thus unable to escape as quickly as the rest of them. One of the squad members went off the contact the _Gotei_ Thirteen to gather a team to reseal the offended, mystical creature.

In the midst of all the mayhem, Karin didn't move, no, that wasn't quite it. She _couldn't_ move even if she tried, as she watched the halberd engulf itself in flames, becoming the supernatural bird whose sheer size covered the area in darkness. And once freed, it seemed to have a mind of its own, as it roared a battle cry into the clear, blue heavens, a call of victory at obtaining its freedom.

There should have been fear, or at least some apprehension about the creature that was flapping its wings and striking panic across all of Seireitei. But there wasn't, as she watched it ready itself for an attack, piercing through the executioner's stand with its head and setting it aflame in an instant. Eventually, once the fires died, there would only be ash left, a solemn reminder of the Sokyoku's bounding power. But she could feel people approaching, the _reiatsu_ of various captain-level shinigami and a number of weaker ones, perhaps belonging to the _Onmitsukido_ and _Kidoshu_. She knew that she had no more time left.

"Kikōō!" she yelled, grabbing the attention of the famed weapon, whose large eyes fell on her with barely-there acknowledgement. She straightened herself, willing her control over this larger-than-life body to take its very being into her and integrate it with her own. "You called me, didn't you? You're the zanpakuto I've spent my entire life looking for but never found. It's because they forced you into Sokyoku before I was born into this world, am I right?"

_Yes_, it spoke into her mind, as it landed on the ground before her. An unbearable heat came off it, wave after wave of potent spiritual energy that could easily burn through her flesh. But it didn't, not even the tiniest bit of scalding, but instead was a warmth that encompassed her entire body and made her feel whole. This was it, the sensation she'd been searching so hard for, this completion she never thought she'd find.

"Please stop this, Kikōō. If you don't, they'll trap you again and I don't know if I'll be able to break through the next time," she pleaded, stepping forward and into the inferno. Knowing that the others would arrive any moment, Karin closed her eyes and fell into that deep, dark place in her heart. Using _jinzen_, she dove for that elusive inner world, not quite confident with what she would find once she got there. As she fell to the ground, she missed the footfalls of the newly arrived group, as they watched the monstrous phoenix stand over its master with a protective gleam in its eye, an invitation to come close if they dared to take her away again.

* * *

><p>Whatever Karin was expecting, she was fairly confident that this wasn't it.<p>

The room that was created from her soul was tiled in dark gray slabs, perfect squares that seemed to stretch on for eternity. From an unseen ceiling, red pillars encrusted in gold supported the seemingly endless room, the only source of illumination being a single spotlight that fell over the only area that had no columns. Instead, a blood red carpet came to her feet, as she stood along the edge of the space while taking in the rather empty state of her so-called Inner World. The only other distinguishable piece there was a throne, a remarkable piece of work that was made of marble and strung up with the same gold as the pillars. But what really took her breath away was the beauty sitting in it, regarding her with guarded but kind eyes.

"Welcome, Kurosaki Karin." The throaty voice was the same one that had called her only moments ago.

"You know my real name," she replied, though she wasn't really shocked. This was the spirit who had chosen her even before her own birth. They say that one's zanpakuto was a reflection of one's inner self, the desires and wants without inhibitions.

But for some reason, Karin couldn't fathom how the beautiful creature before her was anything like her true self. Hair as dark as night fell pin-straight down an oval face, falling over the impressive silk robes that pleaded royalty and excess. The person before her had skin the color of milk, unblemished and translucent in the fluorescence coming from above, and with ruby red lips that contrasted with those sapphire eyes and long, long lashes. It was the universal sort of exquisiteness that people spent their entire lives trying to achieve, and yet this was her zanpakuto's normal form by nature. It hardly seemed fair.

"I may be beautiful, but I'm not without my flaws," it said, smiling sweetly with those gorgeous features. Just the gesture made Karin color uncontrollably, finding herself infatuated with the creature's exotic looks and slyness.

"Well I may be flawed, but I'm not without my beauty," she spoke with unnatural nonchalance, feeling her composure fall to pieces before this beautiful woman. A part of her wondered if this was her secret desire, to be as gorgeous as this person before her. It left a bad taste in her mouth, thinking that she could be so shallow.

"'Woman'?" Kikōō asked, hearing her thoughts and tilting its head in question. "My dear child, I am most certainly male. As you know, the characters of my name read 'Blaze Fledgling King,' and thus I am most certainly of the masculine side, though my prettiness would lead others to believe otherwise."

"You're a guy?" The way her face dropped, amazed by the turn of events, only had him chuckling, the pleasant sound still perfectly regal. "But… how?"

"You are still very much female, even with that awful haircut and your rather manly habits. But those can be forgiven, since your upbringing has been less than inspirational." Those blue eyes hardened by instinct, as if he was angry on her behalf, willing to avenge her tormentors who ironically were also the ones who kept her fed, clothed and educated. She couldn't help but smile softly at him, something akin to love for this newly discovered comrade entering her. Karin was well aware that it would only grow with time.

But as she remembered the ordeal outside, she perked and narrowed her eyes at the other presence. "When you were released, you destroyed the holder for those being executed. Why did you do that?"

Immediately an ugly snarl crossed the man's face, as if centuries of hatred were coming to the surface for the first time. It was startling, as she took a step back at the ferocity, the look of rage a complete 180 from his tender, aesthetic pleasantness. And even though it was only the size of a seed, true awareness of Kikōō had implanted itself deep inside of her, her zanpakuto's raging strength not escaping her in the least.

"I have been locked in that damned prison for years, forced to kill those I did not know for purposes I wasn't made aware of. Would you not also be angry if someone forced you to destroy when your only intentions are to protect the one you're meant to serve? But I wasn't strong enough to break free alone, and without a master I was trapped, alone for many millennia as I waited for mine to be born."

"You should have picked someone else, if you'd waited so long," Karin defended, frowning at the old disappointment in the other's voice. There was guilt inside her for something that she couldn't control, and she hated that feeling. She'd gained many things throughout her lifetime, but never the ability to let others take charge of her destiny. "I would've been fine with it. You didn't deserve that kind of solitude."

He smiled softly as she huffed angrily and stomped her foot at his idiocy, a gratefulness filling him for her rather uncharacteristic outburst. Since she'd been born, he'd resigned himself to watching the beautiful little babe from a distance, calling out for her but forever shuttered away in silence. Because of that, he was well aware of the temper she tried to hold back, of the laughter that she wasn't allowed to voice out, of the need she had to be with others but hid within herself because there was always a chance that she might get caught. She might have been a risk taker, but she was also a frightened child, placed behind a self-imposed vow to take care of everyone else and all on her own.

But for once, the actions she was demonstrating weren't Kazuto's, all strong words said in a perfect but monotonous tone and without a whit of passion behind it. In all honesty, he liked Karin much more, the girl who smiled widely in secret and had a sarcastic quip for every question, the side she had to force down and hopefully not forget whenever she got a moment of peace. Kikōō wanted to know that girl, to fall in love with her just as Karin deserved to love herself. And one day, he hoped to show her just how remarkable that young woman was, even without Kazuto at her side.

"I cannot choose who my heart as picked for me," he replied after a moment, getting up from his seat and standing before her with newly roused happiness in his eyes. The gentleness made her flush again, taken aback by the natural splendor of her zanpakuto while somehow being completely aware of his immense energy hidden beneath it. Patting her head softly, he offered one last thing before he let her go.

"We will see much more of each other, Mistress, I guarantee that." Then, without ado, the darkness consumed her senses once more.

* * *

><p>Eyes flickering open, Karin had to put a hand to the sunlight streaming down, a reminder of the ever shining star that bit into this world every day for eternity. Without sitting up, she knew her orientation was her sprawled on her left side, lying in the dirt and sand of Sokyoku Hill. There were no noises to stir her, but she felt the other <em>reiatsu<em> long before she fully regained consciousness, the flickering of powers far beyond her own.

But she could also feel Kikōō nearby, simmering beneath the surface of her body's core and close to her right hand as well. Through squinted vision, Karin could see the beautiful zanpakuto that lay before her, a red sheath with seven small shapes etched into its side. Three large diamonds lined up, but between the three sat two smaller pairs of oval-shaped markings, not colored but very much there. The hilt was spun of gold, orange and red thread, similar to Kikōō's burning wings that beat against the wind without ceremony. It was beautiful, and it was hers.

As she sat up, Karin slipped Kazuto's emotionless mask over her, eyes coolly dispassionate as she took in the rather large group of mixed shinigami before her. The fact that their eyes were wide with shock didn't escape her, but as she moved to stand before them she couldn't truly bring herself to care for their amazement. If she remembered correctly, Ichigo came back home with Zangetsu at a mere ten years old (but looking distinctly like a toddler), so one could imagine the incongruence of a small child with a zanpakuto the size of their father. Truly, she was only doing things in normal Kurosaki fashion.

"Kurosaki-kun." Out stepped the kind, white-haired taichou, the gentlest of all the captains by a long shot. Ukitake Juushirou was watching her with wariness that didn't fit his normally serene face, as she turned to him, her zanpakuto in hand.

"Ukitake-taichou. I'm glad to see you're well," she spoke decisively, Kazuto's blandness overtaking her hidden unease. They couldn't take Kikōō away from her, she wouldn't allow it. But she did understand their worry, the fear of having one of the most powerful fire spirits in the hands of a child, well trained but green in every sense of the word. She'd be terrified if she was in his shoes as well.

"Kurosaki-kun, please come with us. We must bring you to the _soutaichou_. These are direct orders," he explained, hands out in a gentle, coaxing sort of way. This older man was much too mild mannered, she thought, as she gripped her sword, possessive of her previously elusive power. She knew that her eyes gave her away because he continued.

"No one will take your zanpakuto away, but we must discuss matters concerning it now. You have to understand that you're holding much more power than most of us can even comprehend, and how you'll be trained to use it is of the utmost importance to not only us, but to yours and everyone else's safety as well."

"I understand," she replied before tucking the katana against her side and nodding to say that she would go with him peacefully. He breathed a small bit of relief, happy with her compliance as he approached her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"If I may ask, do you know _shunpo_ by now?" he inquired, wondering if he would have to hold onto the smaller man to get to the First's headquarters. But then Kazuto smirked up at him, as if amused by the question.

"Ukitake-taichou, Byakuya-nii-san taught me that move as a kid, and he's hated himself for doing it ever since."

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: Were you surprised? :D

Actually, Kikōō was a real entity in Bleach but was destroyed with the Shihouin Shield by Ukitake and Kyouraku before Rukia could be executed. But, when I saw it, I couldn't help but think that it would be an amazing zanpakuto and thus he became Karin's. I also matched his appearance to hers, backwards and yet fitting to the person's personality.

Also, Kikōō is kind of my favorite character in this story because I make him so completely different from Karin that it amuses me to death. You'll see later on. I think it's because I enjoy writing him but hopefully I won't get side-tracked with his awesomeness. I really do love him to pieces though.

Anyway, reviews are loved and all that jazz. Hopefully I can continue to write for at least this fic. I'm not sure about the other two I have, _Hitsugaya Toushirou's Second Holiday!_ and _The Plan_. They were sort of started on a stroke of inspiration, and since those have kind of fizzled, I'm not sure when it'll come back and help me finish them. :/

Next Chapter: Not gonna tell this time. =D

Thanks for reading, everyone! Until next time.

P.S. If you want an idea of how I pictured Kikōō, he looks similar to Sunako from _Yamato Nadeshiko Shichi Henge_. I channeled that image while I was thinking of his look, and I couldn't figure out who that character was until right now. LOL Just in case you were wondering.


	7. Chapter Six: Recruited

**AN**: Took a little time off of writing to just live my life. :) I'm actually doing my review for the nursing board exam so time wasn't exactly in my favor anyway. But, it doesn't mean I've stopped or anything like that. Just expect fewer updates because while I have a good amount of things planned, there's not enough time in the day for me to concentrate on this story.

Also,_ **I just wanna say thank you to everyone for their reviews**_. Most of you were surprised about Karin's zanpakuto and I'm glad. I have many, many more suprises coming your way (some good, some bad) so be prepared! While I'm sorry I can't answer all of your questions because I might give something away, I will say this: I'm so far from the end of this story.

It's not really helpful, but just know that I enjoy an even pace and revealing things slowly. I prefer it actually, especially with a story as detailed as this one.

**kdskd**: Thank you! I'm always trying to outdo myself. =D

**Apricot**: Thanks! I do my best to add as many twists and turns as possible. I actually tend to write a more in Karin's POV but she acts more like Kazuto when I write. I'm hoping to highlight her more later. ^^

**Shiro00Kuro**: I've always tried to change my writing to fit the story so I'm really happy you said that. It's hard to get the feel of a story if I can't describe it well and yet still keep you all engaged. As for Kikōō, he just came to mind when I ended up rewatching the anime a few months ago. My mind works in mysterious ways. LOL Thank you for reviewing!

**TOURIN freaks**: So many questions! Haha. Those answers are farther down the line. I do my best not to leave things open-ended in stories like this, but Kazuto isn't going anywhere anytime soon so the reveal isn't for a while. Thank you for your review. I hope you like this chapter too. :)

Anyway, please enjoy the next chapter!

_Spoiler_: GOOD THINGS HAPPEN! =DDDD

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Six: Recruited<em>

When they arrived at the First, Karin knew all of the Taichou were already assembled, could feel their combined _reiatsu_ even from a distance. So when she crossed the threshold into the room and Ukitake took his spot off to the side, she knew she shouldn't have been so amazed, though someone should've told the bounding of her heart the same. It seemed that she would always be reactive to inhumanely powerful people.

"Please come closer, Kurosaki Kazuto," the _soutaichou_ invited, taking one hand off his cane and gesturing her forward. Nodding, she walked between the two rows of captains, her eyes falling to the youngest without reason, his glance straight ahead and without the barest notice of her presence. She'd berate herself for the slip in conduct later, as she stood before Yamamoto Genryuusai and drank in the sight of the strongest man in Soul Society.

"It seems that you've acquired your zanpakuto." The observation was accompanied by the shifting of his eyes to her hip, the red scabbard contrasting with the blue of her uniform.

"I have, though it wasn't all my doing. Kikōō called out to me," she replied, stony features revealing just the slightest bit of haughtiness. There was a silent dare in her throat, as if he was threatening to take her new friend away, lock him up to never see the outside world just as before. As she gripped the hilt protectively, she knew she wouldn't allow them to do it without a fight.

"He must have, or else I doubt he would've been able to break the barriers holding him in," the old man nodded, sagely and confident. Briefly she wondered what he and her brother saw in each other that brought them so close, a sort of father-son affection that she was sure he showed very few people. Because, standing before him as she was now, Karin felt nothing but a prickling sense of attentiveness from the _soutaichou _that was putting her on edge.

"What are you going to do with us now?" She knew it was impudent to ask a question when she wasn't given the authorization to speak. Karin could feel Byakuya's eyes boring into her back for her impulsiveness, something he'd been trying to beat out of her since day one. But when backed into a corner, a tiger would fight and that was what she was feeling right then, the need to get away from here and to safety.

"I'm not sure how you mean." He raised a brow for good measure.

"Kikōō is much too powerful for me to fully handle, even I'm perfectly aware of that," she began, looking him in the eye while petting the hilt, soothing the rumble from the beast in question. "However, he has no other master, will not obey anyone else's command, and I cannot obtain a new zanpakuto because our contract has long been made. What I want to know is what you plan on doing now."

Stilling for a second, Genryuusai began to glower down at the disguised girl, as if measuring her worth by her words and stance alone. And so it was silent for a while, as he contemplated the Kurosaki heir in full, mulling over the royal with interested care. Somehow it felt like the longest period of Karin's rather extensive life, making the elders' eyes seem tender and loving in comparison to his icy once-over.

"You'll be trained, of course," he said with some finality, as if it was a given. But the idea of someone teaching her to manage her zanpakuto seemed a little farfetched, considering her rather one-of-a-kind entity. But then he continued, and her old worries were replaced with new ones. "You will be trained by one of our _taichou_, as someone of your caliber needs. From what I've heard previously, you were bound to graduate as soon as you manifested your zanpakuto anyway. Now that it's here, someone of rank must be the one to teach you, or else it could spell disaster for all of us if you don't learn to control Kikōō properly."

It was fair, she surmised, nodding at him in understanding. A captain's duty was to handle things of grave circumstance, and hers was nothing if not that. After all, the idea that she might destroy all of Seireitei because she couldn't handle her own weapon seemed like a task that benefitted all. Besides, she needed to get out of Shino Academy. They were doing nothing for her overall development, and while she had learned a number of new skills and refined a few old ones, she had been far too advanced for her teachers' comfort. They knew they wouldn't be able to teach her much else but they couldn't rightfully graduate her either without her sword in hand. It seemed all of their problems would be solved, but she had a sinking feeling that she was only going to gain a number of new ones.

"Kuchiki-taichou," Yamamoto wheezed, his breath airy in spite of the booming of his voice. "You have overseen the young Kurosaki's training up until now. Would you consider continuing it for the sake of helping him master Kikōō?"

"With all due respect, Soutaichou, I must decline," he replied, eyes closed as if in deep thought. Biting back a gasp, she turned to him, not sure what was going through that head of his. To put her in someone else's hands, someone who could find out her furtive past was like putting her on the chopping block. But he continued, as he met his leader's eyes with easy aplomb. "My zanpakuto, Senbonzakura, has none of the qualities that Kurosaki's has. While I'm well acquainted with him and his abilities, I feel that I have done all that I can for him as a teacher and I do not want to stunt his growth merely because he and I have a closer relation than the other captains."

"You point is a valid one." Nodding, he turned to the others, watching with expectation. "Would anyone else be willing to train this young man? As such, he will be under the care of your division and directly under your authority until his powers have fully come under control. After that, Kurosaki may enter the division of his choice, granted that the division in question accepts him as well."

A wide grin spread across Zaraki's face. "I'll train him."

_Oh hell no,_ was the only thing that crossed Karin's mind, as she held back the utter dismay from her visage. Luckily, Byakuya seemed to pick up on her unrest and butted in where she could not. It was probably a little of that overprotective instinct that he had so much of being transferred onto her, as reluctant as she was to accept his help sometimes.

"Kurosaki has a zanpakuto and a powerful one at that. You, however, Zaraki-taichou, have no knowledge on the ability to manifest such a thing, nor how to use one. In your hands, he'd become a brute force fighter, not the shinigami I've trained him to be." An undercurrent of challenge coursed between them, as a scowl darkened one face and impassiveness remained on the other.

Byakuya's cold indifference was an aspect of his that always lied there beneath the surface of his facade, though Karin hadn't been privy to the Kuchiki's work life to know before now. While his relations seemed fine with the other captains, she knew that he was the type to keep most at arms' length, much like she herself. But while hers were for her and her family's safety, Byakuya's was deeply personal, most likely an after effect of losing his wife Hisana early in their marriage. With some warmth in her eyes, she felt immensely loyal to him in this moment, knowing that he knew her better than most people would ever get to because he guarded her and jer secrets better than she did herself sometimes.

"I agree with Kuchiki-taichou," Unohana spoke in that airy tone of hers, turning to the head captain with wisdom that nearly matched his. "Many of us are not well-versed in elemental type zanpakuto for they have become increasingly rare in this day and age. You yourself, Soutaichou, have the strongest fire elemental spirit and everyone knows of your initial struggles to tame him. Likewise, someone who has handled those treacherous pitfalls should be her teacher."

Humming in quite agreement, everyone's eyes fell to the youngest captain, who had been standing and listening in silence the entire time. Karin's eyes went to him slower than the rest, not sure if she was comfortable with the idea of having him as her instructor. His legend had preceded him, though she was quite unaware of it as a child and even now she wasn't certain of all the details. But it was certainly no mystery that Hitsugaya Toushirou was a force of nature, a boy who was pulled from his life in the First District because he had so much _reiatsu_ that he was literally killing his own adoptive grandmother.

Coupled with the fact that he was a prodigy and had even battled over the right to keep Hyourinmaru, Karin was well aware of the fact that he was likely in a class all his own and would likely remain unmatched in that area. And now he stood amongst the most elite shinigami, a man who was predicted to one day take over as _Soutaichou_ in the next millennium. And while she felt that she should've held some trepidation at the idea of being under this man's control, Karin could only feel excitement, a sensation that she hadn't felt in a long while, and that in itself was enough to have her listen to his all-important reply.

He didn't hesitate to answer. "I'll do it."

"Then I entrust Kurosaki Kazuto to you, Hitsugaya-taichou." The Soutaichou knocked his cane against the floor with a boom, signaling the end of their emergency meeting. As the captains shuffled out, Karin bowed to him respectfully, not entirely understanding what just occurred, other than the fact that her entire life had changed in the blink of an eye.

"Kurosaki, a word," a familiar voice called out to her, as Karin's eyes went straight to Byakuya. Feeling strangely unsure of herself, she treaded over to him, noticing that while the others had left Hitsugaya was off to the side to provide them a bit of privacy. The bit of thoughtfulness was slightly odd but comforting.

"What is it, Byakuya-nii-san?" She didn't miss the slight glower to his features at being addressed with that ridiculous title, especially when he had been called captain only a moment ago.

"I don't have to tell you to watch yourself more closely, do I?" He raised an aristocratic brow, the kind that would make anyone else feel incredibly small compared to him. When she tilted her head to meet his hard glare, she didn't flinch like another would have and instead smiled serenely, as if he was inquiring about her health and not her future welfare.

"And yet you just did," she spoke with a wave of her hand, brushing away all the troubles he oftentimes tried to carry for her. But Byakuya was just being himself, metaphorically holding out his hand to save them both the trouble of giving or asking for help. And while she did her best to rely on him as little as she could, she knew she definitely couldn't take it this time. Rejecting the proffered aid with the gentlest of smiles, Karin pushed past him, silently telling him not to worry and that she'd be fine. She only hoped he believed her.

"It's nice to meet you, Kurosaki," Toushirou greeted, nodding distantly but welcoming in his own way. Karin didn't reply outwardly, just met his eyes in a coolly assessing way that she was sure he didn't approve of. But then Matsumoto's words strummed through her head as she remembered her debt to the lieutenant, so she put on a blank face for the moment, one that was both attentive and universally respectful.

But the Tenth's captain was a bright one because he didn't trust that change in the slightest. "If you're going to be cocky one second and then pleasant the next, do me a favor and choose one. I've had enough experiences with two-faced people to last me an eternity." That final sentence echoed trauma Karin was sure she couldn't touch, as her eyes widened slightly, taken aback by his forwardness. But this guy had balls and a spine the strength of diamonds, and somehow she was even more intrigued by the snow-haired _taichou_.

"Is that so?" She cocked her head to the side in open puzzlement. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No," he spoke, turning away with a look akin to melancholy overtaking his features. A flash of Ichigo rushing into the moon's shadows crossed his mind for an instant before he shook it away and motioned her to follow him, choosing not to elaborate further. He wasn't sure if it was to protect the younger man or himself from remembering, but he decided that it wasn't important enough to dwell on.

She moved after him, a frown flitting across her pretty face for an instant. But she didn't pursue the topic, as she registered the pensive light in his gaze as an eerily familiar one. It reminded her of the look her mother adopted when she'd step into their old, unused dojo, fingering the floorboards that once housed her father and brother's many practices as she bit back sobs of grief and regret. Even Masaki couldn't stop seeing the betrayal that trailed after the Kurosaki heirs, who walked along with tragedy in their wake, biting at the ankles while waiting for them to slip. Out of respect for his mood, she changed the subject to another.

"If I may speak freely… what do you think of my zanpakuto, Hitsugaya-taichou?" She was curious, probably more than she should've been, but it was understandable considering Kikōō's rather unorthodox entrance. There was also some conceit, knowing her spirit's power was infinitely greater and thus more terrifying than any other, perhaps with the exception of Ryuujin Jakka. However, if she expected the youngest captain in history to waiver or be cowed by her inquiry, she was sorely disappointed.

"Your Kikōō is stronger than my Hyourinmaru," he began, his pace exact as she kept up behind him, his tone matching that speed. From the light of the late afternoon sun, his sword rested against his back, shining at her as if in silent defiance. He stopped for a second then and glanced over his shoulder, a calculated look in his eye that spoke of wisdom far beyond his years.

"But you are still weaker than me, and therein lies both your greatest challenge and weakness."

Her professors had said that a guardian was only as strong as its wielder because where one was needed the other would carry that burden, lighten it so they could go the distance together. But that gap was only closed by people like Toushirou, shinigami who knew themselves and their partners so well that they were no longer two separate beings but an integrated whole. He knew better than anyone else that Kazuto was far from understanding, let alone mastering, the untamed monster known as Kikōō.

As she sped up to follow after him, so lost in thought that she forgot to keep up with his strides, Karin could feel the barest of grins coming onto her face, anticipation growing with each step as a new goal was set within her sights. She wanted to equal and surpass Hitsugaya Toushirou, for he was the first man outside of her family that she could acknowledge as someone even stronger than herself.

* * *

><p>She was moved out of her dorm room quickly and the timing couldn't have been better. As soon as she arrived back on campus, the rumors were swirling into a tornado that was trying to demolish the old institution. Behind held up hands and turned backs, Karin's guaranteed advancement and her special treatment were already so widespread she wouldn't be surprised if it reached the elders back at the Kurosaki mansion by now. And while most were said with awe and even some relief at her leaving, the jealous remarks and sarcastic stabs at her heritage didn't escape her. With a resigned sigh, she understood why Byakuya hated dealing with others who were tactless, or at the very least inept at subtle exchanges. It all seemed so very ugly and petty, neither of which he'd lower himself or his pride for.<p>

With what little she did have packed into a knapsack, a shinigami met her at the entrance to escort her to the Tenth's barracks. She'd been situated in a tiny back room at the insistence of the Kuchiki successor, intent on giving her a place that would be all her own. It made her sound very high maintenance and she hated the idea that she could be, but there was no way around it. She wouldn't be able to breathe easily if she shared with other people, especially not a bunch of guys she hadn't even met yet. While she'd come across a number of dense males in her life, she didn't have to share communal rooms with those ones, which was rather helpful for her entire ruse to continue. She couldn't take chances so played her role as she always did.

The room they situated her in was a small, almost closet-like area. She'd be allowed to bathe when she saw fit but that would probably be the dead of night when everyone was asleep and the water was freezing cold. But that was fine. Sacrifices were her dearest friends, after all. She'd suffer through a million hardships before she went down, and even that wouldn't be without a fight. As she settled into the lone futon, her things sitting in the backpack in the corner, Karin fell into a restless slumber.

* * *

><p><em>This guy's gonna be tougher to crack that Byakuya-nii-san<em>, Karin thought drowsily, still not fully awake because of the early hour. She'd been roused by a Hell Butterfly before dawn, and expected to be fully dressed and ready to train within the next half hour. And while she admired the man's obvious enthusiasm, Karin thought waiting until the moon was fully set was an inspired, almost genius idea.

Or she was just that tired.

"You'll meet me here every morning at this time, five days a week from now until eight in the morning," Hitsugaya explained, watching the half-asleep boy with narrowed eyes. While the face was still the same emotionless one he usually wore, this Kurosaki Kazuto wasn't the man that stood before Yamamoto-soutaichou only fifteen hours ago, wearing an expression of crowned confidence that Toushirou thought only Byakuya had been able to fully master. Instead, Kazuto looked like a guy who wanted to pass out on the nearest rock and stay there forever.

Kazuto opened his mouth to speak, eyes finally fully open but reluctantly so. "May I ask as to why we're training at five until eight? I don't really understand the need to deprive us both of sleep."

"My hours as _taichou_ are long and my other duties cannot suffer merely because I have taken you on as my charge." The explanation said a lot about the young soul, not even one-hundred years and yet he took himself and his work so seriously. Respect began to fill her chest, as she saw him turn away from her and take a seat. With a move of his hand, she followed after him, more awake than she had been only a moment before, as she slid fully back into character. While Karin slept, Kazuto would work as he always did and hopefully that would be enough to get her through these five hellish days of the week.

"Tell me, what do you know about your zanpakuto?" he asked, sitting cross legged on the large stone in the forest-filled area. Opting for a nearby stump, Kazuto eyed him warily, his face unsure about whether he could discuss something as personal as that. Toushirou understood that feeling well, but it was a necessary evil. An outsider can't tell another how to handle his zanpakuto and his relationship with it, but that person could help guide that process. He'd had his ups and downs with Hyourinmaru enough to know that a little extra direction can make a difference if one shinigami seeks the advice of another.

"We haven't talked too much," he spoke after thinking on it, trying to relive that short conversation and find a little more meaning in it. "But Kikōō is… He knows me well, all of me really. It's weird because when I talked to him, I got the feeling that he'd always been close and I just never knew it." Frowning, Kazuto wasn't sure if he explained it correctly, if he could properly give details regarding the sensation that came from the pleased but humbled expression in Kikōō's dark blue eyes. It was as if he'd waited much longer than Karin, but with endless faith that transcended centuries.

"Your zanpakuto is loyal, which is good. Some shinigami fight relentlessly with their partners, which can strain the building of a trusting relationship, especially if there's no affection between them." Remembering his first experiences, Hitsugaya recalled the first time Hyourinmaru had found him in the dead of night, calling out to him with a voice that he hadn't been able to ignore but one he hadn't known how to respond to. Perhaps it was similar for Kazuto, who peered down at his sword with soft admiration.

"Do you know how to achieve _shikai_, your first release?" he inquired easily, trying to ease them slowly into their training and build rapport. While he could command respect from many powerful people, Toushirou knew that the one before him would be a little different. Kazuto was someone who was used to important men listening and having others follow orders without delay or question, but he had no idea if the younger man would be able to do those things himself.

For their first session, it was mostly talking, sensing the other's objectives and trying to break that communication barrier that came with two introverts trying to get to know one another. Remembering Matsumoto's words, she bit back any impulses that she would've usually let loose, and it confused her as to why she couldn't behave appropriately around this man like she could around so many others. It was difficult to tell herself that she wasn't supposed to act this way, not around her captain and especially not a man who would be able to sniff her out so easily.

But it was something about the strictly conventional air around him, the one she admittedly admired when she first met him, that made her want to ruffle his feathers so badly. He was like a younger, more reactive Byakuya, a stuffed-up shirt that needed a little less reverence thrown his way and much more fun and laughter (preferably at his expense). However, Karin knew it wasn't her that should decide what this man needed and what he didn't, so she put the strange thought away and stored it for some rumination later. Any loss of control needed to be snuffed out and taken care of before it got out of hand. She didn't have the leeway with him as she did others because Hitsugaya was going to get to know her well and intimately to train her, something only Byakuya had been able to do before and with good reason. There was no room for weakness if she had to let her guard down to him.

During those three hours, Hitsugaya-taichou also ran down his expectations for her, the conduct she was supposed to abide by and a number of other regulations that were standard for a newly accepted squad member. It was strange thinking that she had only been a student a day ago and now she was an unofficial shinigami, at least until her full powers came in. A part of her wondered just how long it would take before she reached the next step known as _bankai_, which would catapult her to captaincy soon after. She tried not to get ahead of herself, but there was no helping it. There was a lot at stake and her plate was already full, just waiting for something to topple it over.

* * *

><p>Her schedule during the day was integrated with the other members of the Tenth, who ran practice drills often from morning until dusk or organized missions to the Living World. Although not allowed to participate in the latter, she took her training very seriously alongside the amiable members who offered to show her the ropes. Many of her new comrades were mellower than her former classmates, less intimidated by her position and just generally more interested in her (or Kazuto, at least). And despite the fact that she did her best to keep that frigid wall up and their friendly attention at bay, she found it increasingly difficult to not make conversation or joke with these easygoing fighters. They were kind, the kindest people she'd ever met, and she was deceiving them on a daily basis, hiding behind a regal mask and stoic air.<p>

A secret to all, Karin wasn't a lone wolf by nature but by choice, one that she made long ago when building bridges was for political and monetary gain, not closeness. Getting to know people in her own home was hard, as she'd been told that the enemy came in many different forms, the words coming from the elders, her mother and even the Kuchiki head. So she took compliments with a grain of salt, praise with suspicion and affability with doubt. It had become a habit, to second-guess sweet words or a noble gesture as a means of earning her favor and, by default, her inborn authority to govern. There were adversaries living in her own home, and so the paranoia had carried its way into her outside life.

However, slowly but surely, Karin was finding that she didn't really want to hide from their warmth at all, not when it was the first time people had shown interest in the person she was and not the heir she had been born. On the other hand, she also knew that Kazuto couldn't trust them, had been long trained to never give herself willingly to others without struggle. So, she tucked her true feelings away and offered what little that she could give in exchange for their care.

But the warring in her heart wouldn't ever truly die, not as long as she was filling this role. On nights when such thoughts occurred, it was Kikōō's opinion she sought, the only other soul who could fully understand her suffering. If only she knew that she'd find herself opening her steel-shut heart to someone else, an unwilling but strong power that would have her baring her soul to a person completely unfit for her to trust so easily. Because he was too smart, too capable of seeing through her if given enough time and information, but there was some part of her didn't care if he did. Someday she'd learn that the most treacherous battles weren't fought in heaven or hell with an enemy whose strength and numbers outclassed one's own. In reality, those treacherous fights most often took place in one's heart and against oneself.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: I'M SO HAPPY THAT I COULD FINALLY MAKE TOUSHIROU A MAIN CHARACTER! I've been waiting for this moment for a month. LOL Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Not much to say so I hope everyone takes care until the next update. =D

_EDIT_: **oyane** asked me a good question (because I've gotten tired of describing people LOL) so I wanted to answer this here. Toushirou is about 177 cm (approximated 5'9"), and Karin is about 51 years old buy looks around 15. Sorry for the confusion! :)

Next chapter: Problems with _shikai_?


	8. Chapter Seven: Reluctant Acceptance

**AN**: And I'm back~ Man, this is going slowly. Unfortunately, inspiration for this story has waned a little while _The Plan_ is coming along fairly well. I guarantee that I will not up and leave without reason but if I disappear, it's probably for that reason. Writer's block is painfully good at making me just want to read other fics. Just FYI in case I do disappear. =D

Now, for my lovely reviewers~

**oyane**: I'm not sure if you saw in the last chapter, but I added the info you asked in the bottom author's note. Toushirou is about 5'9' and Karin is about 51 years old (but looks fifteen). Thanks for asking, btw. I get so lazy to describe them after a while. Haha.

**a fan**: Thank you for reading. :) Love your name too. Haha.

**nureen**: I'm glad you're liking it so far. It's kinda hard to keep up with cuz it's a little long, right? Haha. Thanks!

**Shiro00Kuro**: I'm always trying to differentiate because I feel like it'd be boring to write a story you've all read already so thank you for saying so! Gotta keep writing things that haven't been done before, right? ^^

**Anonymous**: I LOVE YOU TOO! Hehe. :D

**cyin**: Thank you. I tried to make this AU as believable and closely related to Bleach while still putting my own spin on it.

**Spark your Creativity**: I'm glad that Karin (who is actually sort of hard to write because of her two personalities) comes off as a good main character. It's hard to write her sometimes, but she's so much fun so what can I do? Please enjoy this one too!

_Warnings_: Tiny timeskip. The first scene it a few weeks into Karin's training and then it switches to about two months in. Just in case anyone gets confused. :)

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Seven: Reluctant Acceptance<em>

Despite their rather tenuous beginning and her incense over Toushirou's adamant and absolute orders, Karin found that the more time she spent with the Tenth's captain, the more respect she had for him. And as that sprout of feeling grew with each passing day, she learned that she didn't want to treat him to the way everyone else did, nor did she like his usual detachment aimed at her. She found the damned deference that his squad members used with him annoying, almost as much as his own indifference to all. It was easy to see that his squad members all wanted to be like him, learn from him, maybe even _be_ him one day. But not one of them wanted to get to know him, speak honestly and share ideas that could better their relationship, and that didn't sit well with her at all.

As she watched him from a distance, Karin came to realize that while Toushirou had many admirers and followers, people who would lay down their lives and give their all for this man, not one of them could honestly say they knew him (except perhaps Matsumoto, but she'd learned early on that their _fukutaichou_ was an exception to pretty much every rule in the Tenth). In her eyes, the space between the members and their captain wasn't necessarily because they didn't want to understand him, but that she didn't think they could.

He was their idol statuette placed on a pedestal, one that would only break into pieces if he ever fell from it, the magic behind him gone if they got too close and came to know the man beneath the flawlessness. It was from that moment that Karin began to understand that she wasn't all that different from him, always putting on a facet so as not to disappoint anyone with her real self, the self that wasn't supposed to exist. It was a learned skill, to act like one could hold the universe in the palm of his hand like it was feebly unimportant. But it was an innate one to feel responsible for all the people's lives that were sitting on one's fingertips, delicately hanging in the balance, literally feeling like a child playing God to them.

In her experience, people only wanted Kazuto the head of the family and proclaimed genius, not non-existent, insignificant Karin. And even then, that little boy she'd played for her entire life was a tool, someone who was meant to be the puppet if raised incorrectly, and thus she held herself to a standard far above the rest. Karin was sure that his fans preferred the prodigy and untouchable Captain Hitsugaya, not Toushirou from the province who was raised in a hut with his grandmother and friend. There was no mystery there, no drama and therefore no story or strength for them to latch onto. And so, little by little, as Karin's respect for him grew, she decided one day that she'd give him the one gift she wished for every year on her birthday, the one thing she'd never told anyone in her life, not even Yuzu.

Karin was going to be the friend that Toushirou didn't even know he needed.

The plan wasn't well-thought out, not like her concocted schemes that had others bending to her will like a perfectly paced game of chess. Instead, Karin chose her instincts over her mind games, deciding that something detailed would only make the older man catch onto her more quickly. And if she wanted to stand any chance in forming an actual bond that wasn't camaraderie or duty, she was going to have to construct a real friendship, something she'd never had much experience with in the past.

Slowly she began to unravel his habits, addressing him coolly but amicably and speaking a little less proper just to test the waters. It had been strange initially, thinking that he might react negatively and berate her for her conduct, or at the very least look at her funny. But he didn't, not at first, so she forced herself to become more comfortable asking about his life, his job and other things that happened recently but most didn't necessarily need to know about. With enough hard work and extensive patience, she was even able to pry from him (and when she said pry, she very well meant it) things about his past, bits of information she was sure no one else had ever held any interest in before.

Karin could tell he was starting to distrust her about two weeks into her little plan, his face becoming suspicious when she asked what kind of childhood he had and what he did for fun. Perhaps it was her fault, letting herself get caught up in hearing his answers rather than noticing that she needed to pull back on the reins a bit to prevent a slip-up. After all, normal people didn't ask about his personal life, not without some underhanded reason at least (a paranoia courtesy of Matsumoto Rangiku's constant presence). So when a curious Kazuto stood before him, waiting expectantly for a response to an unorthodox question, Toushirou couldn't help but feel wary. A lapse in judgment, Karin admitted to herself later on, but not one that she couldn't overcome.

"What're you doing?" he asked in retaliation to her query, the built-up confusion leading him to finally say something. The placid but inquiring face that he got in response told him that Kazuto thought he was being very vague. Holding back the urge to roll his eyes, Toushirou answered it with all the tolerance he could muster. "Why do you always ask me trivial questions about myself or what I do? Aren't you here to train for _shikai_? Don't you find it strange that you want to know so much about me?"

"Is it strange?" was Kurosaki's response, an eyebrow rising as if this was news to him. It only made the bleach-haired taichou glower, face darkening at the others' insensitive answer. Though in retrospect, Hitsugaya shouldn't have expected anything less. "I'm just curious about your origins, Taichou. I don't see any problem with it."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to know…" Toushirou trailed, trying to find the right words that were jumbled about in his brain. While he was never one to be flustered or lose his cool, there was something about Kazuto that made him especially cautious. It was as if he could say the wrong thing at any moment and the boy would jump on it like it was a weakness that he could hold over his head indefinitely. He just couldn't help but think that he had to be on guard with this boy, totally and completely.

"Then what's the problem?" Feeling the muscles in his eye contract uncontrollably, Toushirou wondered if Kazuto was this pushy with everyone or if he was just a special case. Knowing the other's usual lukewarm attitude to most, he guessed the second option.

"The problem should be apparent for someone of your intelligence, unless I'm overestimating that as well," the young captain grumbled, earning an annoyed glare from his subordinate. While many things, Kazuto was hardly an idiot, nor did he take any type of insult well. It was due to his harsh upbringing that he was as equally capable as he was arrogant, though not without good reason. "It isn't professional to mix shinigami business with one's private life."

"No offense, Taichou, but you have too much of the former and none of the latter." The menacing look on Toushirou's face had Kazuto lifting his hands, gesturing in half-hearted submission. "I'm just saying, you could afford to have a few more friends."

"I don't need friends."

An unkind snort came from the smaller boy, who raised a witty brow again in defiance. The haughty look never failed to put Hitsugaya in a bad mood for the rest of the day. "Your number of 'friends' can be counted on one hand, and no, the other _taichou_ don't count." The rebuttal was punctuated with a gesture of his hand, halting the other from interrupting his current train of thought. "I'm not playing tricks on you, Taichou. I just wanna get to know you better."

"Why would you even want to?" he sighed, exasperated as he ran a hand through his messy hair. He didn't understand the other's tenacity, couldn't even begin to comprehend the motives that the heir held inside that head of his. And there had to be some good ones because what else would a noble like him have to gain from their so-called friendship other than better connections for his captaincy? And even that was a stretch, since the Kurosaki's future was nearly set in stone anyway.

Watching while the other seemed to marinate the question, Kazuto started to look vaguely uncomfortable, as if he didn't want to answer his commanding officer. To Karin, it was like she was giving part of herself away, an admission she hadn't made in front of anyone else and not one she could announce so easily. But just the thought that the other was anything less than put-together was intriguing to Toushirou, as he stood there and watched the other with open interest. He wondered if this was the sensation Kazuto got whenever he interrogated him, and if so Hitsugaya could appreciate why he liked to do it. The other's visible search for the honest truth was rather interesting.

"Well?" His voice didn't attempt to veil the obvious coaxing while the young blue blood turned his gaze away, a solemn face still on him. "If you don't have a good reason, Kurosaki, then you forfeit much more than just a piece of your pride. After all, you and I are cut from the same cloth. We're both calculating types that make others feel intimidated without having to do anything to them. The fact that you've misjudged me, your opponent, shows that you've made a grave misstep, and any error like this will cost you, especially during battle."

But by the end of his speech, a flash of triumph crossed the boy's gaze. "And yet you've managed to answer your own question without a single word from me," Kazuto smirked victoriously, arms crossed over his chest in obvious approval at the turn of events. Looking taken aback, Toushirou eyed the other with careful guarding, as if he was about to be attacked. He wasn't quite sure if it was metaphorical or literal threat.

"Explain yourself, Kurosaki."

"You said, and I quote—" Kazuto smirked widely then, as if to be especially annoying under the circumstances, "—'you and I are cut from the same cloth.' That's it, that's the reason why I try not to alienate you like I tend to do with others, and probably the reason why you look out for me so much. I know what it's like to be in your position. I know what it's like to be lonely."

"I'm not lonely." But the statement was too quick, too defensive to be genuine, and Toushirou winced at the sound of it.

"You may not be alone, but it doesn't mean you're not lonely." It was such simple wisdom and yet it didn't fit the young man before him, his voice holding the traces of many solitary nights and of few trustworthy people to speak of. It was a sound that Hitsugaya would recognize anywhere, one he was well acquainted with. "You have a few people you trust like Matsumoto-fukutaichou and even Hinamori-fukutaichou, who everyone knows you're loyal to, but you don't have anyone you see as your equal. And it's not because you don't trust others or even that you can't, but that you don't know how to. So... I guess, by getting to know you, this is my weird way of offering my friendship."

Watching as uncharacteristic red splashed across Kazuto's face at the confession, Toushirou could feel his own fall apart, the alarm at the impromptu words knocking him off guard. He opened his mouth to reply, to contest the boy's assumptions that he was lacking anything in his life. After all, he had only known him for a few weeks, not nearly enough time to understand someone fully and certainly not well enough the way Kurosaki Kazuto seemed to think.

But, on some level of his subconscious, Toushirou had to acknowledge that there was some truth in Kurosaki's insight, as resistant as he was to admit it. While he could count on his lieutenant and childhood friend in any situation, he'd never depend on them the way he had with Ichigo. Partly it was because he would never willingly worry them with his burdens, while the other was because he was silently scared of losing them, of losing anyone that got close enough to his heart. He'd much rather figure it on his own, just as he always had. Besides, no one had ever given him their assistance before, doubtlessly thinking he'd find them a nuisance in the end.

And while he knew he would've called them such, the thought of anyone giving him aid when he needed it and relying on them was a luxury he wished he had. But now that it was here, being proffered in the form of a much younger man with a heritage completely opposite of his own, Toushirou wasn't sure how to handle the suggestion. So, he did the only thing he could think of. He went back to old defense mechanisms, ones that hadn't steered him wrong yet.

"If you want to be my friend, then just stay as you are, Kurosaki." With his nerves uncomfortably on edge, he left then, moving back towards the Tenth's barracks without ado.

Perhaps if it was someone else he'd turned away with nothing more than a glance, that person would've given up, dissuaded completely by the obvious loss. But neither Kazuto nor Karin were the types to call it quits, and while two different sides to the same coin they were both disturbingly obstinate when it came to achieving their shared goals. And to them, regardless if he wanted it or not, Toushirou was going to find himself depending on the raven-haired Kurosaki, even if it was against everything he had come to understand.

Smirking, Karin was optimistic as she made her way back to the training grounds, the promise on her lips kissing the wind. "Don't worry, Taichou, I've always known I'd stay exactly the same. After all, it's _you_ who's going to be changing." With that pleasant idea in mind, Karin went to continue her training for the day with a slight bounce in her step, feeling like she'd made leaps and bounds in just a single moment.

* * *

><p>Sitting upon the cold, hard tile, Karin couldn't help but wonder why her Inner World only had one chair and why she had a zanpakuto who was egotistical enough to not even offer it to her. It wasn't as if she visited all that often, nor did she think it was a big deal to at least pretend to be a gracious host (after all, she'd had decades of practice and he well knew it). Hell, Kikōō could've said they could share it since it was so massive, but the lazy and self-interested part of her soul didn't even bat an eyelash at her.<p>

"Is it my fault you're so self-denying that I have to make up for it by being so rottenly selfish?" he grinned, smitten at the obvious irritation in his mistress's eyes. Sitting cross-legged in the black _shihakusho_ she had only recently broken in, Karin huffed loudly to herself, chin in her hand as she looked up at him with unconcealed annoyance. It only seemed to make him happier.

"You know, even though you're supposedly really strong, you're incredibly high maintenance for a zanpakuto," she observed aloud, as he listened with dry fascination on his features. "You're also impossible to obtain _shikai_ with. I've been at this for nearly two months, and I still haven't figured out what you want from me."

"Most shinigami must defeat their zanpakuto to obtain their first form," he spoke with a genuine smile, as Karin perked and listened to see if he was going to give her a clue. "But I'm not like most. I don't want to fight you, you don't want to fight me—"

"I would love to fight you, if only to hurt that disgustingly pretty face of yours," she muttered darkly, huffing in mild annoyance. His reply was that conceited grin of his.

"It is rather nice, isn't it?" Tucking a long black strip of hair behind his ear, he tossed his perfect mane behind him, as physically flawless as one would expect from an ethereal being. She sort of hated him, even though he was her other half, the intuitive guardian that had always guarded her silently. While she did have some softness for his obvious affection for her, Karin was beginning to understand what her taichou meant by having a good relationship with one's zanapkuto from the get-go. Kikōō was slowly starting to drive her insane with his riddles and she desperately wanted to slice him into pieces for it, which was odd considering her massive self-control in all other aspects of her life.

"_Anyway_," she continued, tapping the floor and playing with a stray pebble absentmindedly, "how do I release your _shikai_? You don't want to hurt me, fine. So what do I need to do then?"

"You have to figure out the code, of course," Kikōō shrugged in his ostentatious robe, as if his explanation made perfect sense. Unfortunately, cryptic sayings and a flick of the wrist didn't really declare anything to Karin except 'beat me senseless, please.' Her willpower was nothing if not amazing for the amount of crap she took from this man.

"_Oh yeah_, why didn't I think of that? Oh wait, I know why. Because I have no idea what the hell that means!" She pointed an accusatory finger at him, yelling so that the endless expanse of the stoned chamber echoed with her anger.

He glared down at her and she met it with her own audacity, a staring match they had long learned did nothing and yet engaged in every time she visited. Sighing, he reclined back in his chair and twirled a lock of silken ebony with his fingers, face pensive with the idea of actually telling her. She no longer had to say that if he didn't tell her something useful then she'd come at him so fast and chop off all his hair in retribution. Luckily he was beginning to take his so-called master's threats a little less lightly.

"Have you seen my scabbard?" he asked, gesturing to the sword at her belt. Nodding with a sarcastic roll of her eyes, she placed it in front of her and stared hard at it, much like she did when she sat alone in her room sometimes, pondering just what Kikōō wanted from her. She'd traced every edge of it, memorized the feel of its grip in her hand and the innate strength of the covering, but had yet to figure out its actual power. Frustration didn't even begin to depict what she felt over her lack of progress.

"Do you see the shapes running along it?" He gestured to the slight indents, meticulous blue eyes watching as she slid her fingers over the ditches. How could she forget them? They were the first things her eyes went to when she awoke to Kikōō at her side, the carvings shallow but distinct and uniquely personal to her zanpakuto. She looked up and waited for him to continue, meeting his eyes to push him forward.

"There are four steps to achieving my _shikai_ form and three for my _bankai_. Those seven little shapes—the four ovals and three diamonds—will fill in when you have achieved those accomplishments in battle. I am not a force that can be trained with one-on-one. For you and myself to grow and merge together, I need you to become the warrior you're capable of becoming."

She paused for a second, rolling the words through her mind before that attitude of hers came back with a vengeance. "That seems so complicated… Can't I just hit you?" Her answer was a thwack to the head, yelping as the expertly quick spirit tapped the back of it when he appeared next to her. They both knew Karin couldn't take him, not yet at least, so this was probably his roundabout way of showing mercy. Obviously she must have some serious kindheartedness locked within her if even her zanapkuto was showing her plenty of it. And while it stung her pride as both a shinigami and captain-to-be, she looked down at the molten red sheath and clutched it to her chest, feeling the warmth that Kikōō provided spread through veins like wildfire.

* * *

><p>When she came out of her trance, Karin was well aware of his presence, despite the silence all around her. Then again, she hated to admit it but Karin was overly sensitive to her captain in general, knowing where he was and tracking where he was going without needing to look for him. Her body was instinctive, seeking him out and grasping at his <em>reiatsu<em> as if it was missing it. She tried not to think about what that meant.

"Taichou," she said, nodding at him as she gathered herself and stood up from her usual meditation place. Months ago, he would've yelled at her for her disrespectful tone, probably throw around a few authoritative words and wrinkle his forehead because of her lack of respect. Instead, he came out from beneath the shadow of the trees with something closer to fondness, the mid-summer sun beating high overhead.

"Have you discovered anything?" he asked, cutting to the chase as he approached Kazuto's favorite seat, the tree stump he had settled himself onto his very first day of training. Despite the overbearing temperatures, he always chose their private practice area for meditation, intent on discovering his zanpakuto's secrets, even if he had to pass on meals or forego sleep to do so. Hitsugaya had to remind him to take care of his body on occasion, reprimanding the younger boy with haughtiness that others would've cowered under. All it did was make Kazuto smirk, amused by the out-of-character care his captain reluctantly showed him.

Nodding, he stood and looked up at his captain, dark eyes serious after coming out of _jinzen_. "Kikōō told me that the next step I need to take would be to enter battles. He says I'm not meant to achieve _shikai_ alone, but by bettering myself in combat."

"He doesn't like to do things the way the rest of us do it, does he?" Hitsugaya replied nonchalantly, a little fed up with Kazuto's constant troubles with his zanpakuto. The telling grin was the only answer he got, the shrug of his shoulders done just to aggravate the captain's already thinned nerves. With a frown, Toushirou fully understood why Kikōō was so annoying. With a master as trying as the man before him, he wasn't surprised the spirit wanted to play a few games with his shinigami counterpart.

"Then I'm guessing that sparring with the other members isn't enough?" His eyes danced with understanding, as the other boy glanced away with resignation.

"While powerful, your squad members don't pose enough of a challenge for me to improve myself as quickly as I need to," Kazuto said after a moment, his dark gaze falling on Toushirou with purpose. "And while I know you'll see this as impertinent, I have to ask, Taichou… When will you see me as ready enough to go into the Living World for training?"

The guarded expression that overtook his features wasn't lost on Kazuto, who could feel the other's anxiety just by suggesting it. But he was more than prepared for an expedition; even the others at the Tenth had exclaimed that he was more than equipped for any skirmish, after finding themselves on the opposite end of his _bokken_ on more than one occasion. Unfortunately, it wasn't nearly enough to convince their young leader that he was capable of more than just drills and practice matches, which was beginning to frustrate the Kurosaki endlessly.

"As long as you're under my care, I will do as I see fit," he began, loosening his collar slightly due to the growing heat of the sun, or maybe just a hint of his unease. Kazuto was well aware of the next words he would say, as he fought to keep that impartial façade on long enough for the two of them to part ways with his temper intact. "However, I don't think you're ready as of yet. The other realm is a training ground for experienced shinigami, and while you are proficient on your own I still have my doubts."

Clenching his jaw, Kazuto turned a glare to his captain, his gray eyes flashing indignantly. "Are you saying I'm not ready because I'm not experienced, or because you _believe_ I'm not?"

"Your time will come, Kurosaki. Don't be so ready to rush into a battle you may not be ready for." Without allowing for a rebuttal, Hitsugaya turned away from his pupil, heading back towards headquarters for his daily update and to look over the new training schedule he'd been putting off. He didn't see how Kazuto's face morphed into anger, resentful over the obvious rejection and doing his best to prevent the fluctuations in his _reiatsu_ from giving the emotion away. If only he'd realize how much damage he was doing rather than good, as Karin clenched her fists and returned to her room for some needed privacy.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: Man, I love Kikōō. Totally my favorite scene of this chapter. Haha. But man, it's getting harder to write this. T.T I'm trying my best but I'm at one of the scenes that I was really looking forward to writing and I... can't write it. It's sitting there in my head but nothing comes out. Super annoying! T.T

Oh well. Maybe some rest will help me.

_Next Chapter_: Wake-up calls and a surprising (re)appearance.

Thanks for reading everyone! Reviews are lovely as always~ Until next time.


	9. Chapter Eight: Unwilling Changes

**AN**: How is everyone? It's been a while, right? Honestly I've been pretty busy with school so there wasn't really any time for me to do more than just think about writing. Haha. But! I've returned and happily so. I hope you guys haven't forgotten the story while I've been gone. ^^

I'm gonna skip the thank you's today (Sorry! I really do have to study and I wrote this even though I have some major exams tomorrow T.T) so you guys can just breeze on past this and enjoy. _**Just know that I read and appreciate every single review I get and that I'm just really thankful for all of you guys who decide to read and press that button at the end!**_ Even if it's only a few words, it really does make my day better so thank you sooooo much! =D

Now, on with the fic!

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Eight: Unwilling Changes<em>

When Matsumoto entered the room, she was struck hard by the concentrated face on her captain, as if he was telling himself to work diligently on the current piece of paperwork. Which was an odd development, considering he could do all of it in his sleep if he wanted, his head taking in each word with little more than a quick scan. However, it seemed that there was something on Hitsugaya-taichou's mind, distracting the usual serene man and that in itself was both bizarre and amazing.

"Is everything okay, Taichou?" she asked, sauntering towards his desk with that affable smile she so pleasantly wore. "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine," he denied, moving the page in front of him onto the finished stack. "I've just got something on my mind."

Contemplating his words, she lit up a second later, as if she figured out the entirety of his dilemma. "It's that Kurosaki Kazuto, isn't it?" The snapping of the pen in his hand told her more than any words could.

She guffawed loudly, letting the entire feeling fill her body. "Oh my gosh, you're so funny, Taichou! It's like you have a crush on him! _Aah_, I don't know what to do with myself, it's so_ cute!_"

"_Matsumoto!_" Toushirou growled threateningly, standing up and slamming his hands against his paper-cluttered desk, as a few sheets fell to the floor from the force. But she was already on the couch, reclining as she laughed with a hand over her stomach to cradle the growing pain there. "Just what are you going on about?"

"You're so transparent when it comes to that boy, sometimes I wonder if your fan club should be worried." She wiped a tear from the side of her eye, regaining her poise if only to continue the amusing conversation. "Since he got here, you've taken even more interest in the troops, their training, how they're organized. Hell, you even visit twice a week when usually you'd be in here doing all the division's submissions on your own. It's like you're a mother watching over her cub. Or maybe a boyfriend protecting his girlfriend, though I'm not sure if Kazuto-kun would like that comparison."

His eyebrow twitched distinctly. "Is there a point to your rambling, or is this about getting to hear yourself talk?"

"Is there a point to your moodiness, or are you really in love with that boy?"

"I'm not moody!" The vein that was pulsing beneath his hairline seemed to think otherwise.

"_Ha!_ You didn't deny it!" She pointed her finger accusatorily, punctuating her outrageous claim with the largest smile on her face and impishness oozing off her in buckets. Crossing her arms over her chest (with some difficulty), Matsumoto eyed him in expectation.

"I'm not obsessed with that damn kid, he just pisses me off," he murmured grumpily, slumping down into his chair and running a hand through his snowy locks, yanking a bit at the ends in emphasis. Deciding not to nag him for the gesture, Rangiku looked at him to continue, the silent order met with an irritated growl that was surprisingly not directed at her. "He wants to begin going out on missions, but that's suicide considering he can't even use _shikai_. But then he told me that his strange zanpakuto, Kikōō, needed him to improve more quickly to unlock it, so he asked if he could start doing duties like actual shinigami. But, the fact that Kurosaki would be willing to put himself in danger like that tells me that he's not ready at all."

Taking in the information, she put her hands up gently to cool his escalating temper. "Okay, okay, wait a second and let me get this straight…" Matsumoto said sweetly, hopefully enough so to stop her habitually icy captain from busting a vessel. "He asked you to help him achieve _shikai_, which is the whole reason Kazuto-kun is here in the first place, finally gets a clue as how to do it, and you tell him no because you think he's gonna get hurt?"

An aggravated sigh was heard. "Yes. Isn't that what I just said?"

"What are you, his mother?" In congruence with the Kurosaki's indignation, Matsumoto adopted a rebellious pose, hands on her hips with one jutted to the side as she leaned forward with a glare. Partly offended by her disrespect, he opened his mouth to reprimand her but she spoke first. "You're babying him, Taichou, like he's a child that needs protecting. Kazuto-kun comes from a long line of shinigami, captain ones at that, and his influence is so powerful within and outside of Seireitei that he makes the _Gotei_ Thirteen look like a country club. And you don't trust him to go on group missions to hunt a few hollows? That makes no sense _whatsoever_."

"He could get hurt—"

"That's just it, Taichou, he probably will." She threw her hands up, exasperated as she continued. "He'll get roughed up, torn through and beaten within an inch of his life, but guess what? He. Is. A. _Shinigami_. And as his captain, you don't get to choose who lives and who doesn't, you can only prepare him for what's to come."

To be lectured by his _fukutaichou_ so passionately and on behalf of one of his own members stung at Toushirou, as he turned away, face devoid of the angry comprehension that had come to life inside him. But he understood her righteous words, could finally appreciate Kazuto's controlled anger, as he took a step away from the situation to get a better look at it. And as he did so, Toushirou was coming to terms with the idea that he had never truly seen Kurosaki Kazuto the man, only the little brother of Ichigo, his old friend that he still felt indebted to.

After all, Kazuto was strong and in that sense he was exactly like Ichigo, honing innate strengths that others could only imitate with mild success. He was smart too, scarily so, and more perceptive than some of his ranked officers by half. The fact that he was struggling to obtain the full strength of his zanpakuto should've been a relief, since no one should be so obscenely powerful, but for Toushirou it made him feel exactly the opposite.

Because as accomplished as the boy might've been, reminders of the light-haired comrade he'd been unable to save were there at the back of his head, whispering doubts and worries that should've never existed. In Hitsugaya's mind, all of these doings were in retribution of Ichigo's sacrifice, an unspoken promise he'd made to himself, and he'd be damned if he was going to apologize for doing what he thought was best. But from Matsumoto and Kazuto's perspectives, he was merely being overbearing and cowardly, refusing to acknowledge the boy's obvious readiness, and it was even harder to admit that maybe they were right.

"I can't allow him to get hurt, Matsumoto," Hitsugaya mumbled quietly, elbows coming to rest on his desk as he dug his face into his fisted hands, head lowered in prayer. It wasn't supposed to be like this. He just wanted to do for him what Ichigo should've been allowed to do. But then Matsumoto replied in turn, biting accurately into a past she knew nothing about, as she spoke the truth with conviction that outweighed all his fears.

"Kazuto is not Ichigo. Just because you couldn't save one doesn't mean that you can coddle the other." While not known for her great insight, Hitsugaya had to concede that the older woman was more than apt at seeing through him. In a single blow, she managed to break down each barrier he'd tried to keep between himself and the Kurosaki boy, ones he hadn't intended to put up in the first place.

* * *

><p>"Again."<p>

Sitting on the floor of the nearly empty dojo, Karin could feel her clothes sticking to her sweat-drenched skin, her fingers slippery as she moved to take up her wooden sword. Before her, Toushirou was looking down at the shinigami soldier-to-be, his face giving nothing away and with no obvious fatigue. _How like him_, she couldn't help but sneer.

Earlier that evening, she'd been called to the gym with direct orders from her captain, something that hadn't ever happened and immediately had her curiosity piqued. Not knowing what to expect when she'd arrived, he was still wearing that perfectly pressed _haori_ and broken-in black uniform, his dark green eyes finding her in the darkness.

Without a word, he tossed Karin a practice weapon that beckoned her to him, the invitation to spar louder than if he'd yelled it out over the edge of a cliff. It took all she had not to smirk, arrogantly, smugly, happily even. This was a chance to prove herself, as well as the ideal opportunity to go toe-to-toe with one of the few (and only remaining) genius captains of the _Gotei_ Thirteen.

That had been almost two hours ago and she'd learned the hard way that 'genius' was a rather unworthy description for her opponent. Because while she was trying her hardest to keep up, Hitsugaya was playing puppet master, composed with experience far beyond his years and abilities that would shame a thousand past and future _taichou_.

With a growl, she took her stance again, fed up with him and the impromptu training session. It was late, she was going to have to wake up to meet him in less than six hours, and she'd been beaten on just about every level. A part of her wanted to ask if it was necessary to show her how lacking she was in such a flamboyant way.

But as she resumed her stance, Toushirou lowered his _bokken_, watching her with half-lidded eyes, as if he was examining her. The unnerving hue of his irises managed to glow in the nearly pitch black room, the only plots of light coming from the widely spaced windows. In retaliation, the Kurosaki held that stare with her own, as if daring him to try and write her off again. While she might certainly come up lacking in Hitsugaya's overreaching standards, Karin didn't find him nearly as intimidating as he wanted to be.

It was only a moment before Toushirou turned away, walking off to place the sword off to the side, as he flicked his gaze back to her serious face. She only barely held in a dark scowl in response.

"Tomorrow I'm orienting you on shinigami duties in the World of the Living. We leave after lunch." Not expecting that at all, Karin somehow kept her grip from slipping on the handle of her weapon, maintaining a small amount of her dignity that she was sure wouldn't hang around long. There were a lot of things she'd thought he'd say to her, but that one? She never imagined she'd hear those words in this century, let alone hours after their last argument.

"I'm sorry, _what?_" Staring at a contemplative Hitsugaya, Karin couldn't keep the bewilderment from her face. If she didn't know better, she would swear that she was knocked out in the middle of their spar and all of this was currently a dream. But even that would've been a hard sell, considering her lack of imagination and Hitsugaya's famed stubbornness concerning the matter.

"I've decided to personally escort you on your first expedition to the World of the Living. You should be honored, Kurosaki," the Tenth's captain explained. She wondered if he was being sarcastic with that second sentence, but the look of seriousness ensured her that he wasn't. Hazily Karin couldn't help but think that he was either comfortable enough around her that he could say pompous things for fun or all of these airs were merely a show of force on his part. (Her gut was rooting for the former.)

"You mean you're babysitting me," Karin muttered darkly, repeating his last words mentally with disinterest.

"I wouldn't do something so childish," the white-haired man argued, defending his intentions, though they both knew she'd hit the metaphorical nail on the head. But if he wanted to pretend he wasn't overly concerned for her safety, that wasn't her problem, as long as she got the respect she had rightfully earned.

"If you say so," she conceded with a shrug, deciding that this wouldn't be worth the debate or her sleep time to try and make him see the light. A fight would do nothing but tempt him to revoke the permission he'd finally given, though she had to bite down her stabbing reply. After all, Karin doubted that few people were able to match wits evenly with the older boy, and among them even fewer who had the backbone to do it. She'd like to consider herself in both categories, but there was a place and time for everything and now wasn't it. Excusing herself for the night and bidding Hitsugaya farewell—which seemed to bother her captain because he hadn't dismissed her yet—Karin couldn't quite hold back excited smile lined with the tiniest bit of conceit.

* * *

><p>Before she was even allowed to enter the <em>Senkaimon<em>, Karin was lectured for a painfully long while, standing with a neutral mood that was most definitely a façade. While she knew that one had to be prepped for this sort of thing, Hitsugaya-taichou somehow managed to make the entire escapade sound like a suicide mission, one they would be lucky to survive. In all honesty, it was mostly surveying the town and taking care of a few outlying hollows, low level and essentially harmless unless one was careless. And Karin knew that neither Kazuto nor Hitsugaya were either of those things. She herself, on the other hand, was still up for dispute.

When the blinding white light shone through the gate, a small black Hell Butterfly met them as soon as it opened, leading them through the Precipice World, a dark, dank and empty place. But she was enraptured, completely in love with it because it was the first time she'd ever been so far from home. It made her heart pound with delight, as they traveled through the moist cave and eventually to its other side.

"Welcome to Karakura Town," Hitsugaya said in his particular monotone, motioning at the sleepy city, the barest of the rising sun's rays spreading across the horizon. Karin noticed that it looked nothing like Soul Society, making her feel as if they were in some alien land with beings that were far more difficult to comprehend than her own species. And while she'd read a number of books on human behavior and habits, the fact that Karin was going to see them up close was a treat she hadn't known she was waiting for.

They strayed away from the downtown area since the suburbs and rural spaces were far more prone to random rips in this world's protective lining. And while Toushirou was doing a fair job as tour guide, Karin was much too enthralled with every little thing that she didn't bother to listen half the time, as she wandered like a small child in a large crowd. By lunch time, the older man had nearly had half a dozen heart attacks because she'd found a device or an object that needed to be examined up close.

"Can you please focus, Kurosaki?" the exasperated captain whined, dragging the girl-boy from an ice cream cart and preventing her from robbing the poor seller and terrifying everyone in the area. They were in spirit form so no normal person could see, feel or hear them. In his humble opinion, gravity-defying sweets didn't seem like a good introduction to the unsuspecting populace.

"I can't help it. This place is amazing!" The pure excitement that shone on her face must've been greater than she thought because he immediately looked startled, then uncomfortable, and finally resigned. She recognized the last one best since he often assumed that face whenever she was around.

"Just don't go too far. We only have a few more hours and then we're heading home," he said with a nod, turning away but essentially saying to do as she pleased. She did her best not to grin up at him before going off again and back into the crowd. Although she wanted to stay and explore longer, Karin didn't stray for more than an hour before she was stumbling back to Toushirou, words about her joyous discoveries on her lips. But she wouldn't bore the older man with such trivialities, especially since he was likely well versed in the various human technologies already. So when he gave a gruff nod to follow him, she did so without a word, her inquisitiveness soothed for today.

Taking the quickest route out of the suburbs, any lingering questions Karin had were immediately put on hold as an unfamiliar bleeping sounded from her captain's pocket. Eyes narrowing, a map of the area came onto the screen and showed him a medium-level hollow eight blocks down from them. He opened his mouth to tell Kazuto, but the younger man was already looking in the monster's direction, face set grimly. Inwardly, a part of Hitsugaya was impressed by his sensitivity, a trait very few possessed and one he was sure that only Kurosaki could use so accurately.

Within seconds, they arrived on a rooftop just below where the sky was starting to crack into pieces, the shards raining down as the spider web tracks spread. She wasn't sure if Hitsugaya knew, but Karin could feel a good number of Pluses within the vicinity, maybe two or three blocks and more than a dozen in number, which meant that this was going to turn into a feeding frenzy if not dealt with properly. Her hand went straight for Kikōō, but then Toushirou stepped forward, arm held out defensively.

"I'll take care of this. Stay back and evacuate anyone who gets too close," he commanded, unsheathing Hyourinmaru and glaring at her from over his shoulder. The orders were clear, despite how unspoken they were. _Do not get involved._ Because she was here to oversee the area and monitor it and learn about a soul reaper's duties, but she wasn't authorized to help defend it.

Beneath her skin, Karin could feel her blood boil, hot and angry, insulted on a level she'd never experienced before. And who knew that it only took one man to bend her so far out of shape when she was known for her picture perfect manners? The irony almost made her grimace, as she watched Toushirou charge forward, prepared to take it out before it completely came through the barrier. As every cell in her body screamed for her follow the orders, her heart was palpating hard and rough, each beat trying to stamp down her overzealous will to fight and earn her place in the squad she had unwittingly stepped into.

Unfortunately the hollow that surfaced was a bit too intelligent, sensing that the shinigami that met him was no normal, run-of-the-mill soldier. When he blocked the oncoming blow and got the chance to rush past Toushirou, he did just that, shooting off diagonally and hoping to make it into the streets before the captain could properly dispose of him. What he didn't expect was for a dark-haired counterpart to fall into his line of vision, blade pointed as Karin fazed before him.

It happened so fast that even Karin wasn't sure what she'd done. All she knew was that the golden, haunting eyes before her were tempestuous things, dark and dirty, hungry for innocent souls. It was more than happy to go through her, she surmised, as it lunged to cut through her body if it needed to so it could escape. But she stood her ground, that perfect stance held together through decades of blood, sweat and tears, as she matched it with a parry before coming down hard. The movements were so precise that her zanpakuto found the mask with ease, breaking through the bone and obliterating the spirit into nothing.

Her first kill, quick and clean. She couldn't help but think that Byakuya might be proud of the fact what she reported in with him later, though he definitely wouldn't appreciate the aftereffects. Her fingers were trembling now, the red of her hilt vibrating beneath her fingertips, as she tried to steady her nerves. There were many things that she had grown used to and she thought she'd been well prepared to take lives when the time came, mentally strengthened for such an occurrence even as a child.

_Perhaps, I'm still a kid for even considering that_, Karin chastised with a dull chuckle, as she sheathed her katana once the adrenaline had gone. After all, no death—not even an enemy's—should be an easy thing to do, as she looked down for a moment, eyes clenched as she took a deep breath to regain her bearings. In her ears, she could hear Kikōō's soft rumble of support, incomprehensible but still warm in her heart. Her eyes went to the beautiful creature at her waist, her eyes tracing it gracefully before stopping and going wide.

Unbelievably, an unfamiliar jewel glinted up at her, a coral blue oval set perfectly in her scabbard and filling up one of the four notches. She knew exactly what it meant: Karin was one step closer to _shikai_ and that pebble showed that it was earned by her two hands alone. And even though she had no idea what she'd done to get it, the fact that she'd achieved it by herself tasted so much sweeter than any other victory she'd won. For her entire life, most (including herself) contributed her strength to natural talent and merciless training. But this? This justified her whole reason for becoming a shinigami, as well as all the lies she's had to live and tell to do so.

"You were reckless and disregarded orders."

Spinning, Karin met the disapproving eyes of one Hitsugaya Toushirou, arms crossed over his chest with that characteristic annoyance on his features. But she wasn't fooled. Beneath that careful façade, her superior was seething because she had done what no officer was ever supposed to do in battle. She seceded his orders and went after his prey, deciding to take the vagueness of his words as an affirmative to do what she wanted. In another place or time, it would've cost her or someone else their life.

"I apologize for how I did it, Taichou, but I do not apologize for what I did." The Kurosaki met that obstinacy with her own, a well crafted piece of her complex personality and one of the few that Kazuto and Karin shared. It was insolence he'd never encountered before, she supposed, because the pulse beneath his hairline was bounding visibly now.

"You are a soldier, Kurosaki. You do as your commanding officer says at all times, especially during combat," Hitsugaya scolded, the anger coming from somewhere that was more than just having been disobeyed. There was some real terror that had flooded him for those brief moments, fear that he hadn't felt in a long while and one he had tried so hard to forget. He'd lost enough people in his life, he'd told himself many, many times before. Kazuto wasn't going to be one of them.

If only he realized just how odd a thought that was.

"Again, I'm sorry for how I did it, but not for what I did," Karin repeated, knowing she wasn't reassuring him at all. But she'd never been a habitual liar nor was she one to plead with another for repentance. But she did know when she was wrong and even if she was going to get disciplined for it later she'd never regret this bit of insolence. Looking into her clear, dark eyes, Hitsugaya was well aware that there was no shame or embarrassment in them, only a surmounting amount of pride and calm, two things that continued to raise his usually tame temperament. As the two of them continued to bicker, a figure lurked off to the side, watching the exchange with interest.

"Well, well. It looks like we have a few visitors from Soul Society." The man hid in the shadows of the building, staring up at the two otherworldly intruders with veiled interest and a bit of recognition. The pale skin of his face was hidden beneath a green and white hat, striped and matching his old-fashioned clothing. Seeing the _kanji_ for ten along one's back, it was easy to guess who the taller, bleach-haired boy was, one who wasn't unfamiliar to him in the slightest. However, the smaller man was definitely a recent addition to the _Gotei_ Thirteen, but still there was something vaguely familiar about his face that he couldn't put his finger on.

Not to mention that _reiatsu_ on the raven-haired boy was something else, an uncontrolled force whose origins stemmed from a family he'd be able to pinpoint and decipher a hundred miles away. Behind his signature paper fan, the stranger grinned widely, his discovery something he kept in mind for when he returned to his candy shop. As the two argued even as they went through the gate, the one watching them spun on his heel to return to his humble abode and to the makeshift family he'd started there.

After all, wouldn't the Fifth's captain and Third Seat be interested in hearing about their family's current successor?

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: And the plot thickens! Again! LOL Yes, my last chapter's summary wasn't completely accurate (but it certainly wasn't wrong either~) and for that I am a little sorry for misleading you guys. But that's what's wonderful about stimuli. The same one can give a thousand different thoughts, questions and reactions. :) I promise my next one won't be quite so... annoying. Haha!

Please read and review/favorite/alert! Every writer needs inspiration because without it we're pretty much useless to the world. XD Thanks everyone!

_Next chapter_: A little timeskip to when Toushirou meets... Karin? (And no, this isn't a trick. :D)


	10. Chapter Nine: Dangerous

**AN**: I'm back and with a doozy of a chapter! I swear, I love exam time. I do absolutely nothing but study and play on my laptop. Haha. Though they did kick my butt, not going to lie. Anyway, no more chatter! Here are the thank-you's and please enjoy. :)

**Kist**: I'm in school now and it pretty much bites. Haha. But thank you for reviewing and I hope you enjoy the developments in HitsuKarin's relationship. ;)

**AnneRose**: I'm sorry it took so long! All I can say is real life sucks... a lot. :( Please enjoy!

**nureen**: You will just have to wait and see what happens. I think it's a pretty good chapter myself, haha.

**Liliv00**: Thanks~

To everyone else who reviewed, thank you! If I didn't get around to replying to you, I'm really sorry. I'll definitely do so this time around so leave one for me before you click out of the tab. :D

_Warnings_: Actual. Romance. That's right, we get to see Karin be a girl. Weird, right? LOL

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Nine: Dangerous<em>

_Ten Months Later_

Quickly drying her hair, Karin frowned as she noticed that the tips were already reaching past her shoulders, a length she wouldn't have tolerated if she hadn't been so busy with her training. The idea of getting her hair trimmed hadn't even crossed her mind, as she'd gone about tying it once it began to bother her. But, since she still followed the school's academic year and it had called for its yearly recess almost a week ago, now seemed as good a time as any to hack off the ends before anyone started to question or comment on it.

"Guess it's time for a trim," she murmured to herself, the quiet of her room strangely loud in her ears. After being surrounded by older, boisterous people for nearly a year, it was a hard adjustment to get back into the swing of things in her home. Not that it wasn't nice to see her sister smile or have her mother serve afternoon tea for two, but there was something very tranquil, very ancient about her home that made her almost uncomfortable now, as if she was breaking its serenity with her presence.

Staring straight into her mirror, the head of the clan glanced at her reflection, taking in the face she hadn't looked at in a while. Even though she saw herself in the mirror often enough, it had been a long time since she'd just examined herself, a vanity she didn't have the luxury of most days. Caressing her cheeks, she noticed she'd lost some of the fat there, making her look considerably less childish than when she left two years ago. Her cheekbones were just as high, though more pronounced than she remembered, and her lips a pleasant pink she'd failed to notice. If she was more aware of aesthetics, she might call herself a beauty, maybe even comparable to Yuzu, who was easily one of the most sought-after noblewomen of their generation. Truly, to any other girl, they'd be pleased with such a face, the traditional sort of grace that was compounded by an indefinite appeal. But she wasn't.

Karin looked too much like a woman and she couldn't afford that.

A knock on the door interrupted her perusal of herself, a frown marring her features as she called in the visitor. The door slid open to reveal one of the servants, who requested that she meet with the council within the hour regarding one of their farming communities. A drought had recently hit the area and the crops were underperforming, which would put the region under strain and leave them pressed for money when taxes came around. Unfortunately the last few days had been riddled with cases such as these and a part of her was wondering what the elders were doing while she was gone if they needed her to make so many decisions just after her homecoming.

Growling, Karin turned away to hide her oncoming scowl and gestured for the other to take her leave. Pulling on the kimono after securing her breast bindings, she looked over at Kikōō in the corner, smiling softly at the zanpakto. Although it had taken a while, three blue stones rested happily in the scabbard, their cerulean shade contrasting with the uncharacteristic red. Just for today, she'd leave it where it stood. After the conference, she had a few, non-business-oriented things she had to take care of.

* * *

><p>There was always something about sneaking into the First District that made Karin smile.<p>

So what if it was against every rule in the manor? She'd been breaking them for nearly a century now without anyone knowing. A few more wouldn't tarnish her already bedeviled record. Dressed in a plain yukata, she'd scurried out the back entrance, taking care to avoid any of the more used hallways and hiding in dark corners as necessary. No one knew she took the occasional stroll outside the gates of Seireitei, mostly because no one would approve, especially her mother. While a wonderful and caring person, Kurosaki Masaki worried as if every minute was a countdown and each step was a land mine just waiting to go off. Karin didn't need the added stress.

As the crowds went about in the hot afternoon, she found herself gravitating towards them, the laughter of children and sight of improvised families like a lover's beckoning. While she'd never experienced a human life, Karin was drawn to that mysterious plight of having two sets of memories, of living in a world not her own. And after seeing what kind of place they'd left behind, she wondered how people adjusted to this rustic era and if they ever reunited with those they'd lost. Just thinking about it plucked at those heartstrings she'd tried so hard to harden and yet failed to calcify each time.

Making her way towards the main market, Karin could feel the heaviness in her left sleeve, the coin pouch fitted with just enough money for something trivial, a precaution she'd learned to always carry with early on. While she had never truly needed anything, there were too many times that something had caught her attention, a miraculous little toy or a particularly mouth-watering snack, and she'd been strapped for cash. Those few spur-of-the-moment buys had left her painfully regretful, as she pulled herself away from whatever store she was browsing through, forced to depart empty-handed.

Deciding that she was in the mood for something sweet, her nose led her down a few stalls to a popular shop, one that was currently crowded with mothers who had been pulled along by their children. The shelves upon shelves of treats were sorted out by variety. Sugars in rainbow colors and shaped like people stood off to her left, while taffies and more mild tastes were to her right.

Towards the back, many of the snacks older people would eat were strategically placed, luring in buyers and forcing them to shop around. Crackers in rice paper and boxes of caramelized delicacies were among them, as she brushed her fingers along the choices, feeling her mouth water at the thought of buying any one of the delightful foods. She'd be forced to hide them under her futon in case someone wondered where she'd gotten them, but then she could enjoy them in solitude, a practice she secretly and selfishly adored. Selecting a beautifully wrapped box of mochi tied with a bow, she paid the owner with a smile, taking the treats in hand and clutching onto them as she waited for her change.

"Not gonna eat all those by yourself, are ya, missy? I wouldn't wanna go 'round ruining a face as pretty as yours over a few sweets," the middle-aged seller laughed with gusto, his large size giving him a jolly air. But it wasn't his attitude that had her freezing, eyes widening as he held out her excess. It was what he called her.

She'd forgotten to tie back her hair.

"Missy?" His worried voice broke her thoughts, as she forced her confused scowl to meet his thoughtful face. "Are you okay there, missy? Not feeling well?"

"No… No, I'm fine," she replied with a struggling smile, lifting her hand and thanking him with a nod. Although he looked pressed to ask again, the line was only growing longer and she was holding it up. After a deep breath, she took a few shaky steps out, wondering if anyone was watching her, a paranoia she didn't think she'd ever detach from herself. In all the times she'd been outside, in all the times she'd explored the never-ending First District, she had always styled herself as Kazuto.

Not that anyone would recognize the Kurosaki heir outside of Seireitei, but it was much easier to put on airs when one was already walking around with them. He was her second skin, her shield, and she clung to his familiarity without thought. After all, only her mother and Yuzu were allowed to see her as she was, the core beneath the layers of expectations and titles and built-up persona. But just now, Karin had never felt quite as naked as she did when that man had complimented her, _Karin_, and not Kazuto.

With a half-defeated sigh, her mind was telling her it was time to head home. She had no doubt no one would make her out from the hundreds of other people, but the feeling of bearing her soul to an unsuspecting public was not what she needed right now. Perhaps the comfort of her mother's hand through her hair and her twin's relentless talk about stuff she had no idea about would soothe her frazzled nerves.

Passing her way through the crowd, Karin should've known that the day wouldn't get any easier, as a woman's scream pierced the air not too far in the distance. It was only out of reflex that she began running a course towards the panic, a few people being pushed out of the way as a man barreled down the street, coming straight at her. As she took up a neutral stance she knew she couldn't have stopped the oncoming smirk even if she tried.

"Out of my way, kid!" the robber yelled, the handbag in his hand clutched tightly in his grip. Really, with him about to charge her down, it was almost too easy. A sidestep at the last moment left her leg in the perfect position for him to trip over, a classic move she'd used as a child on a few of her counselors. Byakuya had done his best to beat the practice out of her, but old habits die hard and this was certainly no exception.

"I think it's time you turn your back on a life of crime, mister. This isn't the Sixty-Eighth District. We don't tolerate law-breaking in this neck of the woods." Crossing her arms over her chest, she glared down at her unimpressive opponent, the lambskin bag falling about a yard from his side, creating an invisible line between him and her. As he got to his feet, Karin caught the glint of his knife as he took it out from his waist, grinning maniacally. The crowd shifted, backing away from the armed man and his would-be capturer.

"If you back down now, girlie, I'll let you live for today," he threatened in a singsong tone, eyeing the bag and her with arrogant eyes.

"If _you_ back down now, I might let you keep your teeth," she replied with a shrug, as she dropped her newly bought food to the side, her gaze calculating the possibilities of attack. With such restricted space and his limited physical abilities, there were a finite number of routes he could take. As long as she didn't turn her back on him, she'd be able to disarm and incapacitate the thief with very little effort, she thought with a nod.

Snarling at her words, he lunged straight for her, ready to draw blood. But he was slow in comparison to even the newly graduated shinigami she'd faced and absolutely nothing compared to Hitsugaya-taichou, who moved as if he couldn't be touched. Another dodge was all she needed, as she grasped his wrist and spread her stance to strengthen her foundation. Gripping his arm, Karin nearly smirked when he howled in pain, the blade falling to the ground as she twisted his limb almost passed the capacity of his socket. And along with his weapon, he too fell to his knees and onto the dirt floor, staring up at her with large, terrified eyes.

"Leave now, before I decide to relieve you of a few of your fingers." The sound of the voice was very much hers, but it was Kazuto's words that fell from her lips, tasting of unadulterated authority and power. Luckily the man wasn't as stupid as he looked, as he struggled to his feet with his opposite arm on his injured shoulder, moving to climb out of the crowd and out of her sight as fast as possible.

Ignoring the stunned spectators, she picked up the purse and dusted it off, grabbing her candy along the way. The people parted to let her through, whispering behind hands and refusing to meet her icy stare. The victim of the robbery was only a few yards away from their fight, a small, old woman with white hair and a face full of time-given wrinkles. Within her, Karin felt her anger boil up again, angry that she'd let the culprit go essentially without a scratch. No one with a conscience would rob the elderly, especially not one as defenseless as this woman. She didn't even have a companion from what Karin could tell, as she eyed the piled up groceries and the ripped back that must've been destroyed in the midst of her attack.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but I think this is yours," the girl offered with a sympathetic smile, as the smaller woman looked up at her, beaming politely in return. When her gaze fell on her stolen handbag, her mouth fell into a small, surprised 'o' before going back to Karin's face.

"Oh dear, you didn't have to go through such trouble, young lady," the woman spoke, her tone a bit apologetic as she took it with grateful nod. "A sweet girl like you could've been hurt, taking on a man like that."

"Oh, but it was no trouble at all," Karin replied in kind, deciding that the details weren't important. As her eyes fell on her rather extensive load of foodstuffs and then back at the woman, she couldn't quite help but ask. "Would you like some help with your groceries?"

"No, that's alright. You've done so much already," she refused with vigor, waving her hand as she shuffled towards the fare. But even if she was turned down, Karin couldn't very well let the tiny woman carry all of that by herself, not if she wanted to sleep well that night, at least. Without waiting for approval, she heaved the majority of the contents in her arms, the weight appreciably light in spite of its appearance.

"Please, ma'am, I insist. I'll follow you to your home and leave right after. It'll be like I was never even there." Grinning in a winsome way, the surprised stranger could only nod, not quite sure how else to respond, as she continued down on the path towards her home with the Kurosaki heir in tow.

* * *

><p>"My, I didn't expect such a thin girl like you to have such an appetite."<p>

Blushing a little bit, Karin could only take the comment with an embarrassed smile, as she placed the edge of watermelon down along with the other finished crusts. She'd forgotten how most women didn't have her voracity when it came to food and usually her table manners were nothing if not superb. But when she was offered to stay for a piece of the watermelon she'd carried in, she hadn't been given the time to refuse before the woman was in the kitchen, already preparing it. And when it was finally in front of her, Karin felt bad that her extensive appetite needed to be quenched right at that moment, no questions asked.

"Thank you for the snack, ma'am. It was delicious." She bowed her head, as she pushed the plate away and showed her gratitude with a small prayer. While it had been fun chatting with the woman, Karin would hate to overstay her welcome, as she made a move to catch the other's attention. But before she could properly excuse herself, the old lady settled a plate of candy before her, making her frown at it in unsure confusion.

"Please, call me Granny. Living in this house has left me quite lonely since my grandchildren moved out." Gesturing to the dish, she nudged it towards Karin. "Have a few. I always have plenty on hand, just in case I have an unexpected visitor."

Taking one, Karin rolled the sugary confection between her thumb and forefinger. "Why do you always have _amanatto_ lying around?" Over her lifetime, the only people who she'd seen eat the bean-shaped candy regularly were old men, usually the servants on break who liked to tell stories about the good ol' days. And while there was nothing particularly wrong or unpleasant about them, Karin had never quite gotten the appeal.

"They're my grandson's favorite. He can't get enough of them," Granny said with a chortle, a reminiscent expression filling her lined skin with something more youthful. Just watching her make the nostalgic visage had Karin wanting to smile with her, her mouth curling lightly in response. But their small talk was interrupted by a knock on the front door catching their attention, as the woman excused herself to answer it.

Not knowing what else to do, the raven-haired girl popped a piece into her mouth, chewing it slowly to try and grasp its taste. There was a bit of sweetness and a tang that she couldn't quite place, but she could kind of understand why a person would become addicted. It might not have fit her particular palette, but it'd suit another's preference just fine.

"Today is just full of surprises." The words echoed in from the hallway, as two pairs of different steps could be heard coming towards her. While the light shuffling was certainly Granny's, the other one was even quieter, an almost practiced tiptoe, the heel falling gently just before the ball of the foot. Even from that tiny detail, Karin could tell that it was a fighter and a skilled one at that, as she turned a serious face to the doorway.

She should've left when she had the chance.

"Come here, Toushirou. I have someone I want you to meet," the aged woman began, motioning for him to follow into the living area and sit at the table. Immediately, Karin turned away, using her shoulder-length hair as a curtain to block her face. In her head, curses went off in rapid fire succession, as she sent a few prayers to the Spirit King that the commanding officer wouldn't be able to identify her as the boy who had spent a good part of the last year with him.

"Now don't be shy, Karin," Granny tsk-ed, settling down beside the newcomer, who had taken her former place near the young woman. "My grandson may be a shinigami, but don't you worry, he's very nice."

"_Granny_." The hint of warning in his growl was a reprimand, telling his adopted caretaker to not coddle him so much, especially in front of a guest. From the way Karin could see how she didn't even acknowledge his words, the Kurosaki girl had a feeling that she didn't listen to her ward as much as Toushirou would've liked.

"It's nice to meet you," she muttered, keeping her face angled towards the wooden table, as she fidgeted with her hands on her lap. To an outsider, she must've looked nervous or scared, but truly she was more anxious than anything else. At any moment, she could look straight into that familiar glare and he could see right through her, call her out on her lies, and expose every dirty secret she had. The very thought made her heart ache with worry, not only for herself but for all the people she was putting at risk for even being here.

"I should go… I'm intruding on your reunion." Bowing to her host, the shinigami-to-be nearly faltered as she hurried to get out of there, stepping on her own robe clumsily. A hand on her shoulder stopped her form from completely tumbling over, the other's reflexes even faster than her own and with a hand that was oddly gentle for a solider of his caliber.

But it was gone just as quickly, and his courtesy was just as gruff as she knew it to be. "Be more careful."

It seemed that fate didn't want her to leave in such a rush, as she nodded jerkily to his comment while the old lady demanded that she stay for dinner. Delighted at her agreement, Granny Hitsugaya excused herself while she finished preparing the food, Karin keeping her visage directed elsewhere even as the old woman exited. Her thoughts were running a mile a minute and absolutely none of them had anything to do with supper, except hoping that it would be over soon. There was no way he'd connect the dots with a mere glance, right? It wasn't possible. He was a genius, but he wasn't _that_ good.

From where he sat, Hitsugaya fixed his emerald eyes on her, narrowing them in thought. "Do I know you?"

"No!" Nearly jumping to answer, Karin managed to give both of them a heavy shock, as they backed away from the table and each other. Though both of them look terrified, she could safely say, without a shadow of doubt, they were wearing the same expression for two very different reasons.

"Are you always this jumpy or is it just me? Granny didn't say her visitor was so easily disturbed," he muttered beneath his breath, running a large hand through his lengthened, show white hair. This time, Karin gave him a full once-over, taking in the man she hadn't seen in nearly six months.

Truthfully, she'd forgotten that he'd been dispatched for over half a year following an abnormal report in Karakura Town a few months after their initial visit. Although the details were sketchy, Rukia-nee-chan had been sent to scour the area, staying a few weeks before forcing to report home. And while the contents of her report were confidential, Karin wasn't stupid enough to believe that nothing extraordinary was happening there, not after overhearing her and Byakuya speak in hushed voices only two months ago.

Stumbling upon them had been an accident, but the harsh pleading in Rukia's voice and the stern, almost rough edge to Byakuya's had her creeping along the corridor on her way back from delivering something to the Sixth's office. From where she stood, all she could catch were snatches of the conversation, unimportant bits mixed in with key words she was slowly beginning to decipher. And while they might not have said it in plain words, the intentional vagueness of the dialogue wasn't lost on her, as she sucked in a deep breath and waited for them to part, gathering her thoughts before astonishment pushed through.

It seemed that Aizen was back under the _Gotei_ Thirteen's radar, and he was looking to take Karakura for his own.

Piecing it all together, she finally understood why Hitsugaya had been dispatched along with a team of high-ranked shinigami, leaving the Tenth Division in the hands of his Third Seat before disappearing without a trace. The only thing he'd said to her was to keep training, don't get sidetracked and to stay out of trouble, an altogether strange way to say goodbye to someone you were going to see again, or at least that was what she had presumed.

Not quite understanding the enormity of what he was doing, Karin had waved him off, telling him not to get too comfy now that he was practically going on vacation in the World of the Living. That conversation had been heard too late and she'd regretted her careless farewell, wondering if he'd come back in one piece, the thoughts of him ending up like her father and brother replaying against her will. But whenever they got too far, her mind would wipe the slate blank and she'd busy herself with something else, determined that he'd return just as he left.

Looking at him now, her eyes saw how his hands were bruised deeply, no older than a week, if she was guessing correctly. The way he sat with his legs akimbo wasn't at all polite and while one could blame it on the fact that he was in his own home, she knew it most likely had to do with a leg injury that was healing, his left one most likely. He leaned back on his right arm, second to a back injury, judging by his pained posture, her inspection combing upwards until she met his hardened eyes, as if daring her to say anything.

Well, Karin was always rather bad at keeping her mouth shut. "You're injured."

His frown deepened, as he worked to sit up a little straighter, folding in his limbs a little more respectfully. The flash of pain it caused didn't escape her, but it was smothered by a defensive look, as if a wild animal about to be caged. His words were little more than a whisper. "Do not say anything, especially in front of my grandmother."

Snorting at his caution, she crossed her arms over her chest. "What, you think I'm stupid? She'd probably worry incessantly about you all night and tire herself out over it. I'm not going to put someone as sweet as her through that for someone like you."

Almost immediately, Karin wanted to take back the words, biting on her bottom lip as a worried air started to stir about her. Truly she hadn't meant to sound that mean or take it that far, but there was always something about her captain that made her mind spill things she hadn't even known she was thinking. And, judging by the mixed look of crossness and bemusement, it seemed that Toushirou had no idea where her outburst had come from either. With their gazes locked for a moment, the unmasked heir had forgotten that she wasn't supposed to meet him straight-on, not until he spoke in a lightly mystified tone.

"You remind me of someone."

And then reality was back with a vengeance. "No, I don't," she retaliated quickly, scooting herself away but forcing her face to remain in line with him. At the roll of his eyes, her glare narrowed darkly at the offense.

"I really don't think you can tell me who I think you might or might not be," he scoffed, tilting his head to the side and watching her, openly leering. And even though she did her best to meet him, Karin's sense of self-preservation was nearing its limit, as she chewed the inside of her cheek in uncertainty. But then his eyes lit up a second later, examining each of her features with undignified frankness. "You remind me of a boy I've been training. There's something about the way you talk and move, I can't put my finger on it." For an instant, his eyes move skyward in contemplation, just long enough for Karin to catch her breath and feel the bounding in her chest, before his attention was directed at her again, resolute. "You even look a little like him…"

"Are you saying I look like a boy?" While certainly not her greatest comeback, changing the subject seemed to be a necessary evil, as she placed her hands on her hips and leveled the competent soul reaper with an affronted glare. Inwardly she smirked when he grasped what he'd just implied, turning a reddish hue at his own mistake.

"N-no, that's not…"

"So just because I talk really loud and say what's on my mind, I must be a boy, huh? Next you're be gonna telling me that I can't fight or go out without fixing my hair, or something chauvinistic like that." Pointing a finger at the clearly unnerved man, Karin merely humph-ed, popping a piece of food on the table into her mouth as she shirked her discontented visage away from his. And while she shouldn't take such perverse pleasure in watching her taichou squirm, she couldn't lie and say that it wasn't as much fun as she thought it would be. If anything, it might actually feel better.

Sighing, the embarrassed commander could only itch the back of his neck, unsure of what to say next. "Look, Karin, was it? I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to imply you were _boyish_ or anything like that, only that you remind me of someone who happens to _be_ a boy."

"I see," Karin hummed evenly, stealing a glance at him from the corner of her eye. "What exactly about me reminds you of him? I mean, he can't be all that bad if he and I are anything alike." It was odd to be getting information out of someone this way, nor was it easy stroking her own ego and her alterego's at the same time, as if it was completely normal. It felt very surreal, to be honest.

"I don't know. Mannerisms, I suppose. And you both look similar, but he looks more like a girl—" he rushed to explain, as Karin's stone eyes sneered at him, "—than anything else. He's just some kid I've been training, that's all."

"I see," she said in kind, but the sliver of teasing in her voice had him observing her warily. "It seems to me that you might like this boy."

A cacophony of hacking coughs soon followed, as she moved to pour herself a cup of tea. She'd remembered that Matsumoto had said something like that the first time they'd met, mentioning offhandedly how interested the captain was in her school rankings and overall well-being. Seeing his reaction to the accusation in real life, Karin couldn't quite help the pleased smile that curled on her face.

"_What?!_ No I don't!"

"You don't have to be embarrassed. I won't judge." Shrugging gently, she sipped from her cup as Toushirou gaped at her, as if unbelieving that anyone could be so nonchalant with someone they'd just met. It was as if he was having a conversation with his lieutenant again on his rather meticulous records-keeping of his charge, though that shouldn't have been an issue in the first place. He was rather organized by nature and it had absolutely nothing to do with Kurosaki, nothing at all.

Scoffing when he couldn't find a better retort, Hitsugaya grabbed himself a glass and prayed that dinner would be done soon. "You're nuts, I swear."

Looking as if she might be contemplating the idea, the raven-haired girl beamed at him, not at all insulted. "Maybe, but only just a little."

"Yeah, right." As the conversation faltered and died, the officer couldn't help but stare at the stranger before him, taking in the short, black mane brushing across her small shoulders and her graceful, almost regal, features. They really did look alike, this girl and Kurosaki Kazuto, and not just in just passing either. Those unusual slate-toned eyes were rare, though the full rows of lashes that framed them fit more on the woman before him than his ward. The same face shape and lines, though Karin's were lighter, made soft by the slight grin she wore, as she snuck a few more snacks from the table. They even had similar lips, a fuller top one than a bottom that was colored a light, healthy crimson…

In the quiet of the room, Toushirou's cup fell over.

"Whoa, are you okay?" Karin couldn't help but ask, as she grabbed a nearby cloth and began wiping down the table. Her mind didn't miss out on the look of horror that had taken residence on the shinigami's face, body shell shocked into complete stillness even as she finished her job. She repeated herself, her voice housing a bit of her irritation. "I said, _are you okay?_"

Snapping to attention, Hitsugaya mumbled something unintelligible but nodded, refusing to accept her concern and instead frowned as he tilted his head forward, as if reprimanding himself for some unknown oversight. The irony didn't escape her, as she watched with amused eyes while her captain seemed to be at odds with his own mind and whatever had caused his momentary clumsiness. If this was how he was when no one was looking, then Karin needed to be around him outside of the Tenth more often. He was a hundred times more entertaining and completely oblivious to it.

However, when her eyes fell on the flash of bandage along his wrist, covered by the arm of his _shihakusho_, her enjoyment fell to the wayside, making way for a reluctant but powerful sense of worry. Without consciously wanting to, her hand reached for his, surprising him as she pushed the cloth up to reveal the damaged limb with its newly changed binding. A part of her cringed as she saw a bit of blood seep through, most likely coming from an older wound that hadn't needed stitches but could stand to see more rest.

Her question was little more than a wisp of air, as she held him in place and met unsure eyes. "What happened to you, Toushirou?" It was the first time she'd ever said his name and she found it a little absurd that it was Karin who was doing it, speaking to him, asking him things she was sure he didn't want to answer. But somehow, she knew that it was also so much more fitting; there was no telling how much empathy Kazuto could manage without coming off uncharacteristically kind, the one trait Karin had done her best to fashion out of him.

"Nothing," he replied, moving to shuck his arm from her grasp but was surprised when her grip tightened, stronger than he thought. Deep down he knew there was much more to this girl than one could see with the naked eye, perhaps even something familiar about her, though he couldn't quite name it, no matter how much he wracked his brain.

As she scowled up at him, he noticed how the heat from her fingers seared into his skin, not enough to burn but more than enough to brand. A part of him wondered if he'd see her imprints on his skin when she let go or feel her grasp even days later. The thought wouldn't surprise him and, scarily enough, he thinks it wouldn't be the worst punishment he's ever been given.

"Who did this to you, Toushirou?" she asked again, the sound of her plea softening what was supposed to be harshness, a demand, as if she was used to being listened to. And like a siren's call, he felt inclined to answer, as he felt her fingers slide from his wrist to the palm of his hand.

"The subordinate of a man who wants to wage war on Soul Society, one that's been waiting to happen for a long time now," Hitsugaya began, voice modulated perfectly so as not to carry over into the kitchen. "I'm fighting to keep the peace, I'm fighting to protect my family and my squad…" But then his eyes broke contact once more, finding a spot off to the side as his tone bites out one last conviction.

"But mostly, I'm fighting to avenge someone."

"Who?" The word was so soft Karin was surprised he could hear her, as he bowed his head, looking suddenly ashamed, averse to speaking another word. But she was stubborn, much more so now that she was finally getting something out of him for the first time. As she tilted his chin to her with her opposite hand, Karin met that unwilling gleam with a coaxing one of her own. "Who are you fighting for, Toushirou?"

Around them, the air seemed to shift, melding about them as if a blanket meant for two. It was a private piece of information, one she could tell he kept in absolute confidentiality based on the way the muscles in his jaw tightened. But she knew that it was eating at him, a longtime demon that had kept its home inside his heart, weighing it down with anger and ineptitude that she was sure had left the shadows in his eyes and unsavory sensations of self-doubt. But those things disappeared, just for a moment, as he matched gazes with the woman in front of him, who looked so earnest and trusting. It had been a long time since anyone had watched him with such honesty and it humbled him.

"The boy you remind me of," he whispered, flexing his hand as he gripped her smaller one in his, as if he could draw strength from it. Her confused frown had him twining their fingers, as he told her the one thing he'd never told anyone, his greatest regret. "That boy had a brother, one that was killed long ago. I feel responsible for it, even now, because it wasn't him that had been sent out that night to track the enemy, but me."

His breath hitched, as he watched her with wretched eyes, the eyes of a man who could not be redeemed. "I was the one who should've died that day, and I will forever owe that kid because I took away someone of his that should've never been killed in the first place."

Even in the haze of emotions and shortened breaths, Karin was hit by his words so strongly that long held-back tears had managed to gather behind her eyes. And although there were many things she was supposed to feel, many emotions that should stand out and lash out at her permanently grieving heart, she found that one that outweighed all the others. It burned brighter and hotter than the rest, consuming all the angry sorrow and misplaced resentment, replacing it with a sense of acceptance she never thought she'd find.

Ever since she was a child, Karin was taught that even the smallest bit of forgiveness was stronger than any amount of hate or rage. Just by hearing Toushirou's confession, she was honored by his diligence, his need to right a wrong that was never his to begin with. Because Karin knew that it wasn't what one didn't do that mattered but what one had done. Her captain had no more caused Ichigo's death by passing on his mission than she had from the safety of her mother's womb, but he didn't see it that way and she wondered how he'd lived so long with such a burden, one he'd shouldered alone all this time.

If only she'd fully comprehended what that self-deprecating smile meant when her taichou turned his back on her that day, maybe she would've figured out what he wanted to do by going to Karakura Town, what he was doing for Soul Society, for his pride. _For her._ It all boiled down to the fact that he had left with her in mind, with the intention of doing what she was not yet strong enough to do. And if it was in her to cry, Karin wasn't sure she'd be able to hold back the tears, as she lifted her fingers away but held his honest look with a grateful one of her own.

In the end, her body moved faster than her mind.

It was nothing to get excited over and yet Karin knew that this would be horribly unlike her in any other moment in any other place or in any other time. But when she reached out for him, she knew it was both a mistake and a the only right thing to do, as her lips brushed the angle of his cheekbone, a show of appreciation he would never fully understand. But she would, and that was all she needed from him.

"From that boy you're protecting," she explained, the unexpectedness of her action causing her to heat under his dumbfounded stare. "I'm sure he won't be able to thank you, so I'll do it in his place." For her pride, the entire ordeal was nothing if not mortifying, as she fought the need to bury her face in her hands and run from him as if she hadn't done something so completely out-of-character. But there was a bit of retribution, as she sees him brush his hand against his cheekbone, a mellower dye finding his own alabaster skin. For a fraction of a second, both of them share small telling smiles of understanding.

But the tenuous energy was broken as Granny Hitsugaya stepped back into the room, causing each of them to jump back from the other, turning shy with their newfound amity. Helping her bring out the food, Karin said grace and spent the rest of the meal talking to her hostess animatedly, mostly filling her in on her life at home. The lying part of her nature took the reins but not without a bit of guilt, and for the first time she wished she could give them more than a back story about how she worked in a nobleman's mansion and spent her days with unexciting, everyday people doing chores, a falsification she'd created long ago from nothing but the air.

When Toushirou commented about her rather voracious appetite and if she was willing to try and become a shinigami, Karin nearly choked, causing two pairs of eyes to watch her worriedly. Accepting the proffered tea, she offered them a weak smile in apology, as she put down her chopsticks and licked her lips, delving for a bit of courage.

"Actually, I considered it once," she spoke softly, staring straight ahead and finding that she had no back story, not for this part of fake life, at least. But while she knew she could wrack her brain for any piece of drivel and give them some blackened version without substance, Karin found that she didn't want to. Instead, what she really wanted to offer these two people was a piece of truth, leave them something real that belonged solely to her, even if it went against every lesson that had been beaten into her.

As she steeled her nerves, Karin could feel her nails bite into the palms of her hands. "My father and brother, they were once shinigami. But they both died on duty before I was born and now it's just me, my mom and my sister." Flashing them a sad smile, Karin tucked a bit of hair behind her ear, the fidget a tell that she was more nervous than her steady voice reflected. "I can't afford to leave them behind, not after what we've already gone through. My mother wouldn't survive another loss and my sister, my twin… she wouldn't last alone and I _couldn't_ put them through something like that again."

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry," Granny apologized, but it was an unnecessary bit of condolence, one that Karin accepted with a heavy heart. And although she chanced a glance at Hitsugaya, his face was schooled into that mask of his, unbreakable even after all their time together. It just reinforced the fact that while they might have come leaps and bounds tonight, he would never know it and she would have to fight him that much harder for even a glimpse of the boy she met today.

But that person was well worth the work.

After helping put the dishes into the kitchen and assisting with the clean-up (against Granny's protests), Karin forced herself to tell them it would be best for her to head home. The sun was setting as they spoke, already half gone in the distance and night would be on them soon. Stepping into the base in front of the door, she put on her slippers before bowing, thanking them graciously for their hospitality. It was a shame to leave and she didn't know when she'd have this much fun again, but this wasn't her life, not by a long shot. She couldn't pretend she belonged here anymore than Kurosaki Karin could exist outside of the Kurosaki castle's walls. It just wasn't her place.

The fact was still a bitter pill to swallow no matter how many times she took it, she thought, as Granny Hitsugaya clasped onto her hands, inviting her to come again whenever she was available. And although she smiled in response, Karin knew it wouldn't happen, not if she could help it. Too many close-calls had happened today and as much as it pained her, she knew her decision would be for the best, even if it had hurt too much to make.

Turning to Toushirou, she grinned up at him, unsure of what to say. While she searched her head for the right words, his caught her by surprise. "I'll walk you home."

Against her usual nature, her reply fell out in a jumble. "No, that's not necessary. Where I stay isn't far, there's really no need to trouble yourself." Although not quite truth, the excuse was a necessary one, as she didn't want to be spotted with him anywhere near Seireitei nor did she want to explain that she'd snuck out from the compound and couldn't get back in using the main gate. While he probably wouldn't pry, the act in itself was suspicious and she couldn't have him inquiring about her in case he had any questions for the workers of her household.

But the captain wouldn't be deterred. "Then I'll escort you until you get to the main road."

Knowing better than to argue with a man who was almost as obstinate as she was, Karin nodded, though she aimed a dark glower at his back. A part of her felt that he could sense it to because he looked back a second later, eyes flashing dangerously. Instead of frightening her as he seemed to want it to, she merely smirked, flipping her obsidian bob as she moved to march past him.

After saying one last goodbye to Granny Hitsugaya, the two of them walked in perfect tandem, the silence of the early evening calming rather than stifling them. As they trudged on their way, Karin couldn't help but sneak a peek at him on occasion, drawn to the masculine lines of his face that were, for once, not marred by consternation. Though she wouldn't call his appearance peaceful either, there was something there that was usually missing when they met as master and student, a tranquil steadiness she hadn't known he could possess. Then again, she'd learned much more about Hitsugaya than she ever thought she would today.

As they neared the crux of the side road that melded into the main street, Karin stopped and turned to face him fully. He followed her action with his stare, still silent. "Thanks for escorting me. You didn't _have to_—" he frowned as she emphasized the end playfully, grinning mischievously at his distaste, "—but I thank you all the same, Toushirou."

"You're welcome, and thank you for keeping my grandmother company." At the mention of his relative, he gazed somewhere off to the side, as if embarrassed for what he was going to say next. "Although I don't live very far, neither Hinamori nor I can visit her as often as we would like to. I'm glad she was able to meet someone who might be able to spend more time with her than we can."

At her core, shame began to eat at Karin again, as she found herself removing her stare from his figure, not wanting to give herself away. In a few months, she'd be back in the same schedule and under his thumb at all times, but there was no way she could say that. And as much as she would love to tell him that she'd visit Granny and be her companion when they weren't around, Karin couldn't lie, not about something so serious. Instead, all she could do was nod and hope he didn't see the conflict in her when she met his softened gaze.

In a strange but comfortable way, they quietly decide not to exchange goodbyes. Instead, Karin offers a smile, one that he returns with a wry quirk of his lips, as she tucks her hands behind her back before spinning and making her way down towards her destination. It wasn't that she couldn't say the words, but she found that maybe she might not want to, and that in itself was a million times scarier than any farewell she could give.

"Hey, Karin."

With the heat of summer around them, the light wind carried his voice to her, as she halted in place but refused to turn back and meet his gaze. If she did, Karin wasn't sure what kind of face she'd make; if it would be sad or grateful or maybe just a little forbidden, she didn't know and she wasn't sure if she wanted to find out. Because even her heart knew that a part of her wouldn't survive the answer, as she bounced on her feet restlessly, keeping her back ramrod straight.

"Yeah, Toushirou?" And for the first time in her life, Karin wished it wasn't her voice slipping from her mouth, so small and timid and nothing at all like the person she always believed she was.

Behind her, she could hear how he shifted in place, feet scuffling as he tries to form the words. It was a little cruel but she couldn't help but smile at his unease, finding it cute and completely unlike her captain. Whenever she stood before him during practice, Hitsugaya had an answer for everything, an opinion about even the most insignificant topics, and rarely was he ever ousted out of an argument (save for Matsumoto's occasional bouts of cleverness). But to have him literally fumble in silence made her want to peek over her shoulder, just for a snippet of a moment she was sure she'd never see again.

However, he found his resolve soon enough, just as he always did and just as she knew he would. "Will I ever see you again?"

_Yes and no. _Against her better judgment, she almost let the words tumble from her lips, a lapse in judgment she'd come to regret later down the line. Instead her frame fidgeted uncomfortably, feeling the hardness of his stare on her shoulders, as if he could will her to look at him, force her to stay. And she wouldn't be able to lie and say she didn't want to because it had been a long time since Karin had found a place where she'd felt at home, somewhere where Kazuto wasn't the one being asked for or clamored over. And never had she tasted regret so difficult to push past because she knew she couldn't return to Granny's house or to the beginning of this day, not tomorrow nor ever again. So, she did what she did best. Plastering on a smile and turning to face him, Karin didn't dare open her eyes and instead greeted him with a crescent gaze, matching her firmly placed grin.

"Maybe." It was times like these that she felt that lying was meant for her.

When she spun around to resume her path, Karin couldn't help herself. She ran away from him so she wouldn't be tempted to turn back.

* * *

><p>Stumbling into the privacy of her bedroom, Karin immediately told anyone who approached to come back tomorrow, though the night was young and the requests were completely innocent. But she didn't want company, not after what she just did, as her cheeks burned with the memory of her impromptu getaway, a combination of lingering shame and blood-curdling doubt. Curled up on her futon, even Yuzu had been dismissed, and while the guilt ate at her she knew it was for the best. Right now her thoughts were elsewhere, on someone who shouldn't have entered them in the first place, and they were harder to shake off than she thought they'd be.<p>

Unfortunately, a peaceful mind was elusive, her disturbed thoughts keeping her up until the moon was high in the sky and even as it began to fall towards the west. Sleep was chased by questions and insecurities she'd never let bother her before, fears that hadn't existed until this very day. And slowly her contentment with her lot in life, the acceptance of all that she was and all that she strived to be, turned to bitterness within her. For the first time since she was a child, Karin didn't want to do this. She didn't want to be the head of the Kurosaki clan or the Fifth Division's captain or anything like that.

Right now, Karin wanted to be a normal girl.

_You're playing with fire, Mistress. And you may not be the only one who gets burned_, a lone voice whispered in her mind, forcing her eyes closed as she listened to it, concentrating on the smooth tone of her guardian's voice. And she knew he was right; after all, he was her conscience that knew her heart's most hidden reservations. There was no turning back time or changing what had come to pass, and truly she knew she wouldn't want to, wouldn't sacrifice one piece of her hard work for even a moment of the tell-tale perfect fantasy she's constructed in her mind. But she'd never had apprehension like this before. She hadn't realized what she was giving up until now, until she figured out that maybe there was more to life than taking over the family and protecting them from harm, replaced by beliefs that were more than a little hazardous and wholly self-centered.

Tomorrow, she decided as she pulled her blanket over her and buried herself into it, she'd put that stern face back on and go back to her duties of managing estates and playing peacemaker as was her job. She'd take her mother and Yuzu out to lunch someplace nice in apology, maybe buy them something from one of the stores they liked so much. And eventually she'd go back to the Tenth, look straight into Hitsugaya's eyes and feel absolutely nothing but respect, camaraderie and just the slightest sting of annoyance at his carefully uncaring attitude. Because this was how life was meant to be for her, no more no less.

So, just for tonight, Karin would mourn what had to be her first and last love.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: Yeah, this is just getting more and more AU, I don't know what to do with all this story. Haha. And, oh man, writing this was crazy. I wrote the majority of it in record time but it's mostly because I haven't really been writing. No time, unfortunately. This is the first time in months that I'm actually free to just pump out a few thousand words and the fact that this poured out just goes to show that I really need more time playing and less time studying. Too bad life doesn't work that way. :(

I don't have a next chapter summary for you guys, sorry. I'm still trying to figure out the next direction I should go. Probably another time jump though. A forewarning so I don't surprise you guys too much. Haha.

Remember, reviews are loved and feed this muse of mine~

Thanks for reading! Until next time~


	11. Chapter Ten: One Last Push

**AN**: OMG This story is being updated~ And I'm so excited too! Because... *drum roll* **_It was my birthday on Monday!_** Yay! So, all my fics are being updated to celebrate. That, and I just needed an excuse to write more stuff. Haha.

But before I get to the story, I wanted to thank everyone for reviewing! I mean, 267 reviews, 99 favorites and 115 followers? That's insane! So, in case I forget to tell you guys how much I love you, I'm saying it now. I love you~ And to prove it, I have a surprise at the very end in the AN. Something to look forward to when you guys finish reading. ;)

_Thank-you's from the last chapter_:

**nureen**: Super sorry it's so late, but at least it's coming along, right? :) I'm glad you liked the last one. I don't do a lot of emotion in this fic but once all the action is over, there's gonna be plenty of romance to go around. ;)

**Hakku**: I'm glad you liked the last chapter. I can only hope you'll enjoy this one as well. Thanks for reading!

_Warnings_: We're at about the halfway mark for the story (if I'm estimating correctly). Other than that, nothing. =D

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Ten: One Last Push<em>

_Two months later_

The rustling of papers was Hitsugaya's only company, as he dug through a number of pushed back reports that he'd only recently managed to make a dent in. While he'd gotten back some time ago, the Tenth's captain had taken a month of vacation on top of his trip to Karakura Town, wanting some recuperation for the wounds that were healing at a rate much slower than he preferred. While the sessions at the Fourth were helpful, his workaholic tendencies were frowned upon by Unohana-taichou, who had sweetly asked that he take better care of himself in the earliest stages of his recovery.

He was too scared to tell her anything but yes.

Which was why he was here now, slowly dwindling down the excess that his Third Seat hadn't been allowed to touch and finding some comfort in the work. There were some things that brought him more peace than they should have and, strangely enough, filling out forms was one of them. It was a bit of his own kind of therapy.

But Hitsugaya would be lying if he said that he wasn't having other troubles as of late, as he rubbed his temples and then his eyes at a bout of frustration he hadn't been able to shake off for weeks. If it was merely work, then he'd have dealt with it earlier and everything would've been solved.

Unfortunately, it was an itch that had taken refuge beneath his skin, out of reach and impossible to ignore. And if he'd known that one girl could be the cause of it, then Toushirou would've sworn off women a long time ago rather than let this one have her way with his sanity.

Shaking his head with a sigh, he really had no one to blame but himself, no matter how much he faulted her. Karin had done nothing but be herself and he found himself hooked on that, her easygoing nature and forward manner two things he'd never been able to master in his afterlife. But why some raven-haired girl had begun to mean something to him was a question he was unable to answer, the aggravation mounting with each unwanted playback of that night two months ago.

At first glance, she wasn't anything spectacular, pretty enough but not one of those women that was instantly coveted by men at first sight. Her face had a straight, almost royal appeal, as if she'd spent a long time learning to show indifference. But rather than detracting from her charms, Hitsugaya recalled the smile that would flit across her face, as if letting a bit of herself out, flashes of something more behind that façade. And eventually she'd forgotten about her mask completely, letting out that barbed-wire tongue to give way to the innate sarcasm she enjoyed so much.

It didn't help his case that Granny Hitsugaya had loved her too, Toushirou thought with an annoyed frown, as he recalled having dinner with his adopted caretaker just last week. The not-so-subtle hints about where Karin had gone were constant at dinner, compounded by her insinuations that he might've warned her off by being so aloof. And while he would've liked to protest, Toushirou wasn't sure if she was wrong or not.

Could there be a chance that his attitude had made her uncomfortable enough to not come back even once? The thought tugged at his insides, as he bowed over his paperwork and tried to settle down the pangs of doubt. But that only made room for more treacherous thoughts, as his mind whispered conspiracies he barely managed to block out.

It almost hurt to know that one slip of a girl was bringing down all his hard-wrought walls and finding that there might be more to himself than even he was aware of. How she seemed so confident that she was looking at the real him disturbed him more than anything else. Because Karin could see the man he hid behind closed doors, the person he rarely showed anyone. It made him wonder how good she was at hiding her own self if she'd dismantled him so thoroughly.

"Taichou."

The tenor of the last man he wanted to see permeated through the sliding door, as it opened to reveal a face Toushirou had been waiting to see. But it wasn't on the right person, he thought angrily, mostly at himself, as the Kurosaki boy took measured steps to stand before him. The intelligent but unmoved visage watched him as carefully as always, never changing in spite of his absence. Strangely, there was a bit of comfort in that knowledge.

"I've gotten your progress reports from my Fifth Seat. He tells me you've accomplished quite a bit in my absence," Hitsugaya filled in, wanting to get straight to the point. The less time they had together the better for his weakening control.

"I have, Taichou," Kurosaki replied easily but made no motion to show off his nearly completed scabbard. It was only a matter of time until that last one was fitted in place. The notion was unsettling at best, as Toushirou turned his eyes downwards and back to the paper.

"Good. Then we'll continue your training just as before." Waving his hand, he dismissed his student, wanting some privacy again. Even though time had separated them, the almost all-seeing shine in Kazuto's eyes flayed at his barriers in a way much too similar to be coincidence. A part of him had to hold Karin's name back from leaving his mouth, as he closed his eyes and took a soothing breath.

"Actually, I have something I need to discuss with you, sir," the Kurosaki heir interjected, holding his ground against the icy glare his captain sent him. "I have a rather unorthodox proposal that I need you to consider."

Interest piqued, Toushirou glanced at him fully, taking in how strung up the usually calm boy way. Beneath his dark clothing, his muscles were taut with tension and his jaw was painfully contracted, as if to keep himself from saying something prematurely. Nodding to the chair before him, Hitsugaya followed Kurosaki's movements as he eased himself into it, the wheels in his head nearly visible beneath the strain.

"Is there a problem, Kurosaki?" It was the only plausible reason he could think of that required his personal attention.

"No, not a problem exactly," he muttered, running a hand through his neatly cut hair. Gone were the side lengths that usually framed his face, replaced by emptiness and showing off a softer face than Hitsugaya was used to. He scowled again when he realized where his mind was wandering.

"Then what is it?" The words were harsher than he would've liked, but he didn't retract them. Observing while the other took a deep breath, dark eyes watched him with certainty that made Toushirou a little nervous. But they were nothing compared to the words that fell from his lips.

"Please do me the honor of sparring with me and Kikōō."

His initial reaction was to laugh, not in humor but incredulity. A boy, his pupil for nearly a year now, was asking him draw Hyourinmaru in a one-sided fight. None of the ranked officers in any Division would challenge him at point-blank, not if they wanted to keep their reputations and ranks respectable. He wasn't sure if he was astonished by his gall or impressed by it.

Decidedly, he went with the former. "No."

"You haven't even listened to my case yet," Kazuto frowned, turning to his masterful skill of bending people to his whims subtly. But it wasn't so subtle when Toushirou was his target.

"I don't have to. There is nothing in the world that could make me say yes to your momentary bout of insanity," his captain snapped, as if insulted that Kurosaki even considered he'd say yes. While powerful and clearly ready for more responsibility, the boy was about to commit suicide and he'd be damned if it was going to be at his hands.

"Believe me, it's not as if I wanted to ask you for the favor," Kazuto snorted, crossing his arms and looking put-out by the idea. The fact that the boy had just insulted his commanding officer escaped him, as Hitsugaya felt the vein along his forehead throb angrily in response. "Kikōō was the one who demanded the terms, not me."

"Of course it was." As a frustrated grumble left his lips, Toushirou could do little more than glare at the red scabbard, which almost seemed to gleam back. "Tell me what his directions are, since he's obviously trying to get the both of you killed."

A glare, one that spoke of retribution if Hitsugaya continued to talk down to them as if neither one had any strength to speak of. Somehow Kazuto continued speaking without the challenge that was obvious in his ebony irises. "He was vague, but the words were clear. 'The final key lies with your captain.' His exact words."

"And you think that means we have to exchange blows to do it." It was a question that eventually became a statement midway, as he took in his charge's serious countenance. There was no doubt there, nor any humiliation at his obvious dismissal. He'd learned early on in his life that a Kurosaki pursued what he wanted relentlessly, regardless if it was protocol or not. It was likely Kazuto would treat this the same way.

"You know I can't do this." And of the millions of reasons that came to mind, there was one that stood stronger than the rest. Hitsugaya didn't want to hurt him, but it was less about brotherly protectiveness and more along the lines of something he couldn't quite place. Just the thought of striking Kazuto, drawing blood and watching him bite back cries of pain, left the usually detached leader sick to his stomach.

He watched as a muscle jumped in Kazuto's jaw, tightening in silent fury. "I have no other options. Kikōō will only release the last lock if it's you."

Turning his head down, Hitsugaya's body language rang of dismissal. "Then I suppose you'll have to work out another option. My answer is still no."

The heat of the air became nearly unbearable in moments, a testament to the strength of Kurosaki's control and spiritual maturation. Sweltering to the point of burning his own skin, the older man refused to give his charge the satisfaction of knowing he was getting to him. He returned to his paperwork easily enough, feeling the flames lick at his skin and praying he wouldn't break under the power play. He didn't have to wait long until the other boy stormed out, his heels on fire as he slammed the door shut. But even as the temperature fell to a more tolerable level, Hitsugaya knew this wasn't the last of their argument.

* * *

><p><em>That didn't go well.<em>

"Shut it, Kikōō. I'm not in the mood," Karin muttered under her breath, as she stomped down the corridor with as much grace as she could muster. Not an easy thing when her emotions were driving her every movement, as she stalked past a number of shinigami without her usual greetings or bows. She knew she'd pay for it later, but if she had to open her mouth there was no telling what would come out.

_You shouldn't get mad at me for something your precious taichou did._ In her mind's eye, Karin could almost see the amused expression on the beautiful zanpakuto reclining nonchalantly in his chair.

"Okay, first of all, he is not my 'precious taichou,' you jerk," she growled, not caring too much if people thought she was speaking to an imaginary friend as she practically ran past them. "And second, this is totally all your fault. You were the one who came up with these ludicrous terms. I mean, if I was in his position and some kid asked me what I just asked of him, I'd laugh in his face."

As she found a quiet area void of others, the student settled into a meditative position, intent on having this conversation directly with Kikōō. Karin knew what she was asking was close to blasphemy, especially in a hierarchy like the _Gotei_ Thirteen, but it wasn't enough to keep her from doing it. After all, she was saddled with an uncompromising, scheming son of a bitch for a guardian, she growled inwardly, as she let herself into her zanpakuto's sanctuary.

"Hey, I heard that." The pretty man even managed to look offended by her last thought, though it was offset by the obvious humor in his eyes. Only a sadist like him would find her current dilemma entertaining.

"I don't give a damn if your feelings are hurt. I already told you, no captain with a brain in his head or any semblance of pride would agree to a duel with me. Well, Byakuya might, but only because he's a slave driver and enjoys seeing me in pain."

The blue of his eyes glimmered back at her. "Then he and I have much in common."

"I hate you. Why would the Spirit King curse me with all this bad luck? Sometimes I wonder if you're worth the trouble," she humphed inelegantly, standing before her partner with obvious irritation. Although he'd never tell her, Kikōō was pleased by it. Without even realizing her own behavior, Karin had become comfortable enough around him to let loose the complaints she'd always stamped down in order to appear composed.

However, he could understand her livid disposition. He'd worked her into it on purpose, after all. But every test Kikōō gave was never a coincidence or left to chance. But this was a special assignment, one Karin needed to complete. It was time she regained her bearings and rediscovered her place in the world, the one that had begun blurring at the lines where Hitsugaya was concerned.

"I'm not sure if your sullenness is because you're incapable of defeating him or if you merely don't want to try," he shrugged, being difficult on purpose as he climbed down the stairs at a leisurely pace. His eyes didn't miss how her back went rigid, on-guard and not believing him. Good. Her instincts shouldn't be clouded just because he was her partner. That kind of trust might get her killed one day but he would never let that happen.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The tenseness in her shoulders and averted gaze told otherwise.

Kikōō didn't beat around the bush. "You love that boy."

This time there was no denial or excuse and he was glad for it. At least she knew better than to lie to him, as he'd see through her easily enough. In return, he squashed down the bit of jealousy at the thought that his mistress might adore the man more than she did him. He had to remind himself that a powerful spirit didn't need to compete with a young soul, as Karin looked up at him, visibly shaken and uncertain. Nothing at all like the woman he knew she was.

"Is that why you're asking that I challenge him? You want me to prove my loyalty by beating him." A sliver of reluctance shone in those irises at the thought of going against her captain. From that look alone, Kikōō understood that her infatuation ran deeper than even she was willing to acknowledge, as he crossed his arms over his chest in thoughtful defiance.

"No, Mistress, not to beat him. I want you to be able to win against yourself," he replied cryptically, watching Karin's face go from defensive to confusion. "We both know how you feel about him, how tempted you are to tell him your secret, even if it puts you in danger. However, I refuse to sit back and let you destroy all that you've created for one man who might or might not accept you."

"You don't trust me." And even though she tried to keep it from showing, Karin was hurt by his assumption that she'd throw away her life for a moment of doubtful bliss.

Kikōō wouldn't insult her by lying. "No, not when it comes to him."

"I've done nothing to warrant distrust. I've performed every duty and exceeded expectations for decades, long before we ever met. There's no way I'd sacrifice my family's wellbeing for something as frivolous as a man."

And although he wanted to believe her, place all his trust in her declaration that sounded more like her than anything she'd said in months, he couldn't. Not because he doubted anything she said or how determined she was to keep the Kurosaki House intact and thriving. In fact, his reservations had absolutely nothing to do with either Karin or Hitsugaya, not the two of them as separate and headstrong individuals at least. It was the invisible, unadulterated pull both of them tried so hard to forget that made Kikōō so determined to carry out his request.

* * *

><p>After Kurosaki's outlandish demand, Toushirou should've known the rest of his day would go downhill. Not one to be easily distracted or moved, he'd continued his paperwork diligently, trying to focus on the things that needed his undivided attention. But the boy's words echoed in the recesses of his mind, tearing his concentration to shreds as he growled in annoyance. By the end of the day, he'd gotten little done and had excused himself early, citing that he needed more rest and something to soothe his spirits.<p>

As he sat in a private room of his favorite teahouse, he allowed the fresh aroma to watch over him. However, unlike all the other times before, his head refused to clear, as he took a long sip and enjoyed the quiet of solitude. It was short-lived though, as a rap on the door broke through, his eyes slanting to the sliding screen.

He didn't expect to see Kuchiki Byakuya invite himself in.

"Hitsugaya-taichou." The greeting was as expected of the nobleman, voice coolly acknowledging as he took a seat before his comrade. Toushirou's was a murmur of his name and nothing more, as he poured the man a cup.

Slowly the silence transformed into one that was more companionable, a certain understanding shared between the two law enforcers and longtime friends. But as easy as it was, the undertones of more serious subjects hung overhead. What Byakuya had come to discuss was still a lingering mystery.

When the nobleman chose to break the calm, the white-haired captain listened carefully. "I'd like to ask a favor of you, Hitsugaya-taichou."

The surprise wasn't evident in his expression but it was certainly stirring both intrigue and confusion inside him. "Of course. I'll do what I can, as long as it's within my power."

"Recently there's been activity in the World of the Living, more now than ever before," Kuchiki started, eyes closing in consideration of how he'd phrase his appeal. "Soutaichou has decided that more patrol units will be needed to police all the Hollows who've managed to escape Hueco Mundo."

"While I see the problem, I'm not sure what you want of me. I'm not in charge of those who are sent out unless they come from my division."

"That's what I need from you, Hitsugaya," Byakuya spoke, dropping the honorific but raising red flags. It was unorthodox for any captain to ask for another's help on matters not specific to inter-division problems. And somehow, Toushirou knew what the other man was implying.

"You want me to send Kurosaki out there, don't you?" While phrased as an inquiry, there was no bemusement in the hardness of his face.

To his credit, the Kuchiki House's leader was calm in the face of Toushirou's obvious displeasure. "It would be a good experience for him. If he's going to take up the Fifth's captaincy in the future, he'll need much more than what Soul Society is able to teach."

"He hasn't even achieved shikai and you're already treating him like a full-fledged shinigami," he snorted, not liking the way Byakuya seemed so at ease with letting the boy waltz into danger without thought. "Until he's ready, I won't approve of anything that might endanger a member of my squad."

"You forget that most people aren't like you, Hitsugaya. The majority of shinigami don't manifest shikai until they've been properly trained by someone in their division, which Kurosaki is doing as a student and just as you did before you accelerated out of Shino Academy. Mastering it is a matter of putting oneself in situations that test not only a shinigami's strength, but their ability to control their zanpakuto, even at the gamble of one's own life."

"So you'd willingly toss Kurosaki into a pit of fire just to help him achieve that last step?" A grunt of laughter, one that sounded cruel even in his own ears. "He's not ready, Kuchiki-taichou. He has all the potential to become a captain one day, but I'm not going to risk his life to achieve an end that's still out of reach. There are more important things than that right now."

"It sounds to me that it's less about him being ready and more about you protecting him." The observation was as astute as it was shocking, earning an openly astounded expression from Toushirou.

As the words of disagreement rushed to his lips, the idea occurred to him that there might be some truth to Byakuya's remark. Remembering Matsumoto's lecture nearly a year ago, Hitsugaya wondered if it'd always been like this when it came to him and Kazuto, trying to be the wall between him and painful suffering. Inadvertently, he'd also blocked the boy from the hardships that came with being a soul reaper, the lessons that one couldn't teach with demonstrations or secondhand stories.

"Kurosaki told me that he's discovered the way to unlock his shikai," Byakuya interrupted, pulling him from his muddled thoughts with his deep, unchanging voice. "I think it would be in both yours and his best interest to accomplish whatever goal his zanpakuto has set out for him. If you don't approve of him joining a patrol group, then perhaps it's time that he completed his training and make that decision for himself. The choice is up to you, Hitsugaya-taichou."

Listening as sandaled feet shuffled towards the door, Toushirou stopped the other taichou just as he was about to leave. "Do you know what he has to do to unlock his shikai? Did he ever tell you?"

His answer was quick, precise. "No."

"If you knew, would you help him?"

"Yes." There was a decisiveness in his tone that unnerved Toushirou, as he grudgingly closed his eyes.

"Why? Why do something that could potentially endanger someone you want to protect?" And it scared him how easily Toushirou could say that, acknowledge his innate need to watch over Kazuto, despite his promise to prepare him for the perils that came with a shinigami's duty to obey and serve.

"Because Kurosaki is capable of much more than either one of us can fathom and we'd only be limiting him if we didn't allow him the chance to prove himself. A shinigami's life becomes second to the greater good. Out of all of us, no one should understand that better than you."

As the door slid close softly, the quiet of the room buzzed in Toushirou's ears, leaving him deaf and angry. Angry at Byakuya for making him second-guess himself, angry at Kazuto for asking him to go against his instincts to look out for him, but mostly angry at himself for losing sight of the mission. Turning Kurosaki into the shinigami he was destined to be was what he was assigned, not to guard his every action and keep him from making his own choices.

When did he become so misguided that he was willing to stunt Kazuto's growth and repress his obvious talent? Truly there was no excuse, he mused with a dark frown, exhaling noisily at his own stupidity. Deep down, a part of him knew why he went to such lengths for his charge, why he was willing to let Ichigo's memory serve as the purpose for his obsessive safeguarding of Kazuto. But he refused to accept that maybe me might care about Kazuto as the friend he'd unwittingly become, nor would he believe it had anything to do with the girl that shared the boy's features.

* * *

><p>Called out for early morning training, Karin wasn't sure if her fatigue was because of insomnia or disinterest. While she'd managed to get some restless sleep, she wasn't sure about seeing Hitsugaya after their last meeting. What he would say or do had kept her from really resting, coupled with Kikōō's pushiness to confront him again. All the guardian managed to do was sour her usually easy disposition.<p>

Stepping into the clearing, a little of her patience returned, comforted by its unchanged appearance. And even with Toushirou standing and staring her down, her spirits lifted at the idea that something hadn't changed while he was gone. The fact that he was before her was enough to soften her heart, making it unnaturally docile.

But his first words knocked her down just as quickly. "Do you know what you plan on doing once you've achieved shikai?"

Although the puzzlement simmered beneath the surface, Karin was able to answer promptly, somehow managing to look untouched by the random query. "I've had my mind on a few different options, but nothing decided. While I might be in line for the Fifth's captaincy, I'm not stupid enough to believe I'm ready for it." Even her brother, with his black bankai and extraordinary abilities, hadn't been strong enough to dethrone their father. At this point, she wasn't even worthy enough to be compared to them, let alone replace one.

"I see," he replied, but the wariness didn't diminish. "I was approached by Kuchiki-taichou with an offer to join one of the patrol groups after you attain shikai. He said that it'd be good for you to gain practical experience."

This time she wasn't quite able to hide her surprise. "And do you agree with him?"

"It's not my choice to make once you finish your training."

"I'm not asking you to make the decision for me, Taichou. I'm asking what you think of me going to the World of the Living." Because Hitsugaya's opinion mattered more than she was willing to admit. It was strange how a curse from another person left her unfazed, but a critique from him had her striving to do better. It was unnerving, being so sensitive to his call.

"I don't know if you're ready." He dodged her as he closed his eyes, looking strangely resigned.

"That doesn't answer my question, Taichou."

Karin saw as his left hand clenched into a fist, an uncharacteristically telling action from him. "You might not come back, you know. Hundreds don't, and while you're easily one of the strongest shinigami to come around in years it doesn't mean you're safe. Having a team doesn't mean they'll have your back at all times."

"Is it a yes or a no, Taichou?" Karin frowned, refusing to let him get away with not answering her. Just a word of encouragement or warning would satisfy her. After all, if the man who trained her couldn't vouch for her ability, then who would be able believe in her outside of the Tenth?

He paused, a visible war on his normally unfeeling countenance, but he managed a pained reply. "Yes, Kurosaki, it would be good for you and you're more than capable as you are right now. No one who's seen you in practice can say otherwise." _Even me_, Toushirou mused ambivalently, seeing a small, touched grin slipped across the other's face. It was all the approval she needed.

"Then I'd like the position. I'd be honored to take it." However, Karin's jubilation turned stony as she continued on in a more sober mood. "But I can only do that if you'll help me, Taichou. No matter how much I demand he change his rules, Kikōō's decision has been made and there's nothing I can do."

"He's a fool."

A small, upward quirk of her lips. "Yes, but he's my fool. And you're my captain. I'm asking this as one last favor, Hitsugaya-taichou. Please draw Hyourinmaru and allow Kikōō and me the privilege of fighting against you both."

Her plea was compounded by a deep bow at the waist, one she'd never offered anyone else before. As the leader of the Kurosaki House, there was no need, looked down upon even, to beg for anything. But, for a moment, she was just a student wanting a chance to prove her worth to her master, someone she actually respected rather than was forced to listen to. And she stayed bent at that ninety-degree angle, refusing to lift her head without hearing his response. She waited, still as granite, only sucking in a breath when she heard his footsteps near her.

"Raise your head, Kurosaki. I don't appreciate my friends asking for favors like they're beneath me."

Choking on her own saliva, Karin's head shot up, followed by her spine. The astonishment must've been more apparent than she thought because Toushirou began to scowl at her, as if she was a child who needed to be reprimanded. The fact that he freely showed such untrained emotion nearly made her gape at him again.

Immediately she had to clarify. "You mean that, Taichou?"

"We're not going to talk about our feelings, are we? You'll have to go to Matsumoto for that," he shrugged, lifting a perfectly shaped brow.

The silent refusal to acknowledge his change of mind was as plain as day, as Karin nodded with a small smile. And, just like that, all the pent-up affection she had for him came rushing back after months of sealing it away, wishing it would never return. In the back of her mind, she could feel Kikōō's distress as she drew her blade with practiced firmness. His challenging voice, however, made her fingers weak, almost making her fumble, as he upped the stakes with nothing but a few well placed words.

_If you cannot defeat him as you are now, Mistress, I will no longer be able to acknowledge you as my master._

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: And the tension continues! And, because you guys have been awesome and patient and just the best readers ever, I'm going to be nice and drop you a HUGE spoiler. Ready? Okay, here goes...

The next chapter includes Karin's reveal. =D

Nope, not lying. It's all planned out in my head and shit really hits the fan. My muse and I came to an agreement and decided it was time. So, for all of you who are excited for it, do me a favor? Review, pretty please! Haha.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Until next time~


	12. Chapter Eleven: Consequences

**AN**: Are you all ready to rumble?! =D The turning point of our story is about to commence and, believe me, there will be many more to follow. I hope you guys are ready to see it all unfold and that I've managed to do my own story justice. I can only hope. :)

But before all that, I wanted to say_** thank you for helping me reach 301 reviews!**_ I've only had one other fic that broke three-hundred (and that was for a very popular and canon couple so it doesn't feel quite as special) so this is a HUGE milestone for me! :DDD I've been writing HitsuKarin for exactly a year this month and I've done more than a dozen stories for them (if you count the one-shots individually). ;D So thank you all for sticking with me and taking a few minutes out of your life to put a few words down and keep me motivated to write. You guys are amazing and I love you all~

This chapter was brought to you by **djAngelynn**, who was kind enough to swap an update for an update. Now if only I could bribe her to get one more out to tell me where HitsuKarin are going in_ Picking Up the Pieces_... Haha.

_Thank-you's for the last chapter_:

**Kurotsuki Rika**: Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it and my writing~ Kikōō is incredibly complicated. You'll understand what I mean later. ;)

**Aizen's Guest**: You'll just have to read and find out, won't you? Toushirou might just surprise you. Haha.

**nureen**: That's my job! No point in writing if no one's looking forward to the next chapter, right? LOL I guess you'll just have to keep guessing until you read. Let me know your thoughts though. I'm dying to here them! Haha.

**Black Rose**: Thank you! My birthday was pretty good, btw. Haha. Yes, the long awaited reveal is coming but I hope you haven't predicted it. It would ruin the surprise. ;D Kikōō is easily the most fun to write and I intentionally make him easy to hate and love. Characters are much more interesting for me if they're that way. LOL

**chii**: I'm glad I had you on the edge of the seat~ It just means that this chapter might knock you down completely. :DDDD Enjoy!

**Mi-chan**: I'm mean because it's fun to torture you guys. Haha! Just kidding~ Enjoy reading!

**Twistedkorn**: Thank you. Luckily my muse and I are on good terms right now. Here's to hoping it'll remain that way. Haha.

And a special thank-you to **frannyme** on tumblr! I didn't want you to think I was just some weird lurker pretending to be me so I'm commenting here. Haha. Thank you for all the wonderful things you wrote! I'm really happy to hear you've enjoyed many of my stories. :D And it was because I was browsing through your blog that I started watching _Sword Art Online_. It's really good so thank you~

_Warnings_: Shit really hits the fan. :/

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Eleven: Consequences<em>

"Again."

Clutching at the bleeding slash along her right side with her opposite hand, Karin struggled to meet Hitsugaya's impervious stare, detached and controlled just as she imagined he would be in battle. Lifting Kikōō defensively, the usually lightweight sword was unbearably heavy after nearly six hours of fighting. And not once was she able to gain the upper hand, she cursed at herself, struggling to stay on her wobbling feet.

At the beginning, Toushirou had been gentler, far more careful and restrained, so much so that she'd gotten angry soon after she realized his pattern. Whenever he attacked just as she wished he would, there were be a split-second of hesitation, followed by a pull back on a thrust or slowing down of an otherwise finishing move. And while her body and pride were sore by her own weakness, Karin wouldn't let him show her any favors, not when she had something to prove.

Karin couldn't help what she did next. With her frustration mounting far beyond normal levels, she'd yelled mercilessly at him, losing her cool for the first time as Kazuto. The fiery passion of her own spirit had mixed with her need to accomplish what she knew she had to. With Kikōō's taunts singing in the back of her mind, this was about much more than power or skill, two things Hitsugaya-taichou had over her in spades. No, the phoenix meant something else when he said that Hitsugaya was the key to her shikai. She just didn't understand what.

And with nearly a fourth of the day wasted, she was no closer than she had been when the match started. But by now she was covered in scratches and cuts, sensing that there were patches of unseen bruises just beneath her skin and would purple within a few days. As she puffed out breaths of exhaustion, Karin gripped the cloth of her hilt, wishing it wasn't slicked with her sweat. Only meters away stood her captain, completely at ease in contrast to her body's exertion.

_What is this, Kikōō? What do you want from me?_ She pleaded for an answer as she charged again, the sound of steel scratching falling onto her ears.

_He is the key, Mistress. To everything_, he purred, drowned out by the adrenaline in her veins and the endless barrage of attacks she was only barely dodging. As if all of this wasn't tedious enough. Her life was on the line and her zanpakuto was dealing in riddles, as Hitsugaya swung his grappling chain to catch her in the side. The dodge was messy, scraping at her clothes but luckily leaving her skin intact.

As her mind conjured the possibilities of what he meant, Karin wondered if she'd interpreted him incorrectly. Since the beginning she'd always assumed that the white-haired shinigami was the obstacle she needed to overcome, but now she wasn't so sure. Could it be that he played a different part, one that'd been lost in translation? Then it hit her like a bolt of lightning, as Toushirou pushed her back and knocked the wind out of her as she tumbled to the floor. Kikōō didn't want her to defeat him, at least not the way she thought he did.

Rather than overpower an adversary that was irrefutably stronger than her, he was demanding that she dig deeper, further into herself and extract the part of her she'd locked up tight so many days ago. But why would he ask her to relive that torment, knowing how hard it'd been to let Hitsugaya go when all she wanted to do was beg him to stay? As the blood rushed down to her fingertips and she fought for each breath, Karin hated her spirit for making her do the impossible. And for what purpose? Even as her very life flowed from her body, she didn't have any idea.

Then it hit her.

Maybe it was the blood loss or a moment of insanity as she teetered on the edge of death, but suddenly all the pieces latched into place and as if by magic Karin understood exactly what Kikōō had been working so hard to accomplish. He never expected her to win, hell he probably didn't even predict that she was still standing against an opponent well above her in every aspect. And that was because he hadn't meant it that way at all.

Despite the sweat that fell into her eyes, the young noble smirked, causing Toushirou to pause for a moment and frown. As those gray eyes met his, a piece of the young genius's exterior cracked, heart refusing to beat when he observed the sadness that coated Kazuto's unearthly calm face. It was a look of reckoning, one that every shinigami adopted in a moment of absolute acceptance. Gripping his blade and its metal chain in opposite hands, Toushirou decided that the game would change, here and now. This would be their final face-off.

Instead of planning out her next move as she always did, Karin let her body take over, falling into autopilot. If she allowed herself to think rather than react, she wouldn't survive one more attack and both she and Kikōō knew it. But the gentle caress of his voice calmed her, as she pondered the questions he'd imposed and if she'd finally gotten the answers right. His words were a balm to that worry, but one that burned her with a sense of shame and defeat she thought she'd driven out of her.

_I never asked you to physically defeat him, Mistress,_ he murmured, supporting her with strength she no longer had._ When I told you he was the key, I wanted you to understand how far you'd fallen for him. He has come to mean more to you than you're willing to recognize, to the point where you've forgotten who you are and what you stand for. If I'm wrong about where your heart lies, then prove it. If you desire your shikai so badly, then overcome that part of you that has weakened because of this boy._

So she did the only thing she could do. She put her very life on the line.

The sensation of Hyourinmaru's chain biting into her skin was planned, as she watched Hitsugaya's eyes go wide. She'd been captured intentionally and he knew it, as he pulled her in to deliver the last strike. He forced himself not to care that Kazuto's blood was staining the curved blade of his shackled end, or the fact that the boy had nearly lost all color and was going on nothing but willpower now. Today would not be the one he wished for, but Hitsugaya gave him credit. He was more of a challenge than a number of ranked officers that occupied the Gotei Thirteen's seats.

However, Karin wasn't done just yet. With her upper arms incapacitated, she knew Toushirou wouldn't expect the parry of his thrust, his surprise catching him as he tugged harder at the chain to draw her closer. It was exactly what she wanted, even as the blade from his shackle twisted deeper into her. It was only a split second, as she brought her own zanpakuto upward and aimed at his neck with maneuvering even she hadn't known she was capable of.

Neither could move as Kikōō's tip scratched the surface of Hitsugaya's skin, a minor wound that would clot in minutes and looked completely mild in comparison to her own. She hoped this would be proof enough for her guardian, that she'd justified all of the mistakes she'd made up until now. There was no point in denying how she felt, but her desire to live for others and their dreams far outweighed that selfish little part in her that was in love with Toushirou. In the end, all her zanpakuto had wanted was her loyalty to him and her family, to reaffirm all the things she hadn't been strong enough to demand of herself. But before she could fully unleash her hard-earned shikai, Karin watched as the world darkened and tilted, still wrapped in Hyourinmaru's cold embrace.

* * *

><p>Bursting into the Fourth with Kurosaki in his arms, the entire room quieted as they saw the Tenth's leader storm in. As he placed the drained body on the nearest empty bed, he turned to the closest group and glowered at them with unparalleled fury.<p>

"Get me Unohana-taichou! Now!" Toushirou barked at some nondescript Fourth Division member, who coward away but rushed off to follow the order. He wasn't about to leave Kazuto in just anyone's hands, not with his reiatsu drained and wounds leaving him in dire need of blood. And judging by the stains on his clothes, the boy had lost far more than Hitsugaya had initially thought.

"Dammit, Kurosaki. If you needed to stop, you should've said so, you bastard," he muttered angrily, sullenly, and not meaning either emotion at all. Because there was a stronger sense of fear in him, so much more powerful than either one of those feelings, that it devoured up his common sense and left him in a state of panic. He hated to admit that the older captains were right. His youth made him impatient, recklessly so, and it was clouding his normally clear head.

There was little else he could do other than watch as the ranked members did the initial assessment, asking him questions to understand what'd happened but as few as possible. No one was stupid enough to anger the prodigy any more than he already was, nor would they handle the Kurosaki heir in more than a cursory fashion until Unohana showed up. If one tried, they would be seeing the edge of Hyourinmaru's blade, which was no doubt already stained with Kazuto's blood.

Within moments, the beautiful healer was entering the room, demanding data and giving out orders to start an IV line and begin monitoring the patient's vitals. Without her characteristic smile, she turned to her fellow captain with all the seriousness that a soft woman shouldn't be able to possess. Inwardly, even his guardian cowered beneath her hard stare.

"What did you to this boy, Hitsugaya-taichou?" she half-asked, half-accused, singeing his already guilty nerves. But he didn't appear cowed, if only to save face in front of the scurrying underlings.

"We were training so that he could finally achieve shikai. But it seems that he's sustained much more damage than I thought and didn't say a word about it." It was only a testament to that family's stubbornness. First, Ichigo had all but taken Toushirou's orders for himself and rushed to his death and now Kazuto was willing to die to gain a bit of mastery over his destructively powerful zanpakuto. However, this time Toushirou wouldn't let him end up the same way his older brother had.

Deciding there was little else he could offer her, Unohana called over one of her shinigami. "Get a hold of someone at the Kurosaki estate. The family needs to be informed and someone will need to be here to give consent for anything invasive we might have to perform."

Although phrased nicely, Hitsugaya knew the reasoning was also a defensive strategy. In Soul Society, the Noble Houses were legally untouchable by both Central 46 and the _Gotei_ Thirteen, as long as appearances were kept. But if something happened to someone from one of those families, especially the next leader of their clan, heads would roll and they'd be held responsible. It seemed that millennia of development and structure had done little to weaken the titan's hold the Four Noble Houses had over their dimension.

As the subordinate rushed off to do just that, Unohana approached the young boy, taking in the paling of his lips, panting breath and feeling for the racing but weak pulse along his carotid. When Hitsugaya moved to get a closer look, he was stopped by a hand from the older woman.

"I think it's best if you remain there, Hitsugaya-taichou. I don't need the added pressure, nor would my squad want the scrutiny." It was compounded by the flowery voice she loved to use to intimidate an opponent. The threat was acknowledged with a step backward, allowing her to continue her work.

Seeing the most profuse bleeding at the chest and abdominal region, she began to strip off the _shihaksho_, frowning at the amount of blood. It was soaked through several times over, with a good amount probably mixed with the dirt in the middle of their sparring grounds. She shook her head in disbelief. Some people were monsters if they forced themselves to keep going in this kind of condition. As she continued to search for the edges of the cuts, with nothing more than a glance, her eyes widened at what else she found.

"I need everyone out of the room."

Her deathly calm voice stopped the medics in their tracks, causing the chaos to turn frigid with the atmosphere. While she knew many were exchanging confused glances, the experienced doctor wouldn't sacrifice her patient's privacy, especially not now. "Everyone except Isane-fukutaichou is dismissed." Over her shoulder, she sent the white-haired man a mild warning. "That includes you, Hitsugaya-taichou."

Opening his mouth to protest, Toushirou found himself being pushed out by the numerous members, silently doing their captain's bidding. An apologetic glance from Isane was all he received before the doors shut with finality. The few times it reopened in the next thirty minutes were for extra supplies and to check to see if anyone from the Kurosaki House had arrived to sign a few waivers.

And eventually one did, thirty minutes after they'd arrived and grating on Toushirou's patience. He was obviously a representative, as he held none of the innate aura that Kazuto and Byakuya so easily emanated. Instead, the panting, older man was more of a follower, someone who obeyed orders to move up in status to better his own life. No doubt he'd have a few words for the Elders after all this was over, and none of them would be kind.

Watching as the smaller male strode up to him, Toushirou schooled his face into a blank mask. "What is the meaning of this, Hitsugaya-taichou? We received word that Kurosaki-dono was not only in intensive care but his injuries came by your hands! When we entrusted him to the care of the _Gotei_ Thirteen, we should've known better than to leave him in the hands of a child! What do you have to say for yourself?"

"It was Kurosaki's decision to push himself well past his limits," he explained rationally, as if ending up in the hospital was a routine occurrence after a particularly trying match. "And while I'm not saying that it was his fault as I should've been monitoring him more closely, I won't have you dismissing his wishes or my methods. He was able to achieve great things today because of his strength."

At the sour, almost repulsed look on the middle-aged servant, Toushirou knew that there was no way he'd understand the dynamics of a soul reaper's journey. This was a major milestone and perhaps if he had any interest in things other than himself the man might be able to comprehend the magnitude of the feat. But he wouldn't count on it.

At the sound of the doors creaking open, both pairs of eyes darted towards the Fourth's lieutenant, who eyed the newcomer warily. "Are you from the Kurosaki House?"

"Yes, I'm Satou, a mediator sent by the Elders." The coldness of his voice wasn't lost on either of the officers, but they both decided it was better not to comment.

Shaking her head, Isane looked worriedly between the two of them. "I'm afraid I can only allow family members to see Kurosaki-san. Also, there are forms needed to be signed because we took the liberty of giving blood transfusions and we need someone of kin to give permission for them or we may be held liable."

"Miss, you and your entire Division will feel the power of the Kurosaki House going for your throats if you don't give me some answers," the livid man growled, taking a few steps to close the distance between him and the naturally timid girl. Without a second thought, Hitsugaya was between them, using his stature and unleashed anger to intimidate the haughty envoy.

"You will not speak down to Isane-fukutaichou, nor will you be making any threats to any of our Divisions. I will see to that personally." And with his voice's octave, the temperature dipped down as well, physically proving that his words were no empty threat.

However, the man was either very ignorant or plain didn't care that his life was being threatened. "You yourself are already on the Elders' bad side. I wouldn't try anymore stunts, Hitsugaya-taichou." Pushing past the man, Satou treaded heavily towards the door, an air of unrestrained fury coursing around him.

"You can't come in, Satou-san. Unohana-taichou has forbidden anyone but direct family members," the silver-haired lieutenant warned, attempting to shove the man away and back into the corridor. But he was oddly strong, overpowering Kotetsu before he strode in. All three of them were aware of the fact that she couldn't lay a hand on the man without good reason, not with the threat of suspension, or even expulsion if he was truly furious, hanging overhead. Knowing this, Hitsugaya fell to his knee beside her to make sure she was okay, but the horror on her face spoke of worry far greater than her own.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he asked, frown deepening as she stared up at him with sorrow and strangely enough contrition. What she was sorry for, however, was a mystery he was almost afraid to find out.

"I'm sorry, Hitsugaya-taichou. I'm so sorry…" And as tears welled in her eyes when she looked away, he moved to stand up, knowing he wouldn't get anything else from her. It seemed that he was going to have to find out the news for himself.

Although his steps were brisk and even, it felt as if everything was moving in slow motion, feeling like a shift in the time-space continuum. He could hear the beep of the monitors, feel his own shallow breathing against his lips, smell the antiseptic used and taste his own nervousness along the linings of his mouth. But what he saw was nothing like what he'd expected, not the same dawning and damning on Satou's visage nor Unohana-taichou's cool resignation.

"It can't be…" There weren't enough words for what he felt at that very moment, ringing with every embittered emotion he'd ever felt in his life. Shock, anger, betrayal, sorrow, confusion, maybe even relief were all present, fighting to crawl out of his core and into brain so they could influence his next course of action.

But the barricade around his head was too strong, refusing to let anything happen other than process what he was witnessing. Even Satou's stomping back into the hall and out of the building wasn't enough to shake him from the trance he was caught in. It was only the sensation of a gentle, coaxing hand on his shoulder that brought him back to life.

"You should stay with her now, Hitsugaya-taichou. Stay with her until they come." The vagueness reached the cognitive recesses of his mind sluggishly, making him slow to react and ask her what she meant. However, the woman was indisputably quick, leaving him with his unmasked charge who was still fighting for his life.

No, _her_ life, he corrected, as he made his way to a seat by the bedside and stared down at the face that he had thought belonged to two very different people. With his head buzzing with questions, Toushirou could barely register his own conclusions as the haze filtered every thought. He wanted answers and explanations, things that no one could give him but the young woman lying before him. So, he did the only thing a person could do when all the cards were out of his hands and the world was flipped crookedly on its side.

He waited.

* * *

><p>The numbness of her body was gradually giving way to reality, as Karin realized that there was less pain where that had once been sharp stabbing only to fade to dullness along with her consciousness. Although she didn't have the motor skills to open her eyes just yet, she could feel the warmth of a blanket on her, the bindings around her torso, a needle filled with something dripping into her left arm and number of nodes along her skin.<p>

Dimly she comprehended that she was in a hospital, the Fourth if she guessed correctly, as the faint signs of _reiatsu_ danced across the edges of her awareness. And suddenly, her easygoingness slipped away and was replaced with anxiety, as her eyes shot open and she sat up abruptly. However, her body was protesting with a sudden bout of lightheadedness and the piercing hurt of her incompletely healed wounds.

Somehow she managed to balance herself and prevent her body from flopping back to the bed, as she reached to her chest for her _shihakusho_, attempting to gauge her wounds. But, as she found nothing but a lightly wrapped bandage and the cotton of the covers as the only barriers to her upper half, Karin knew her worst fear had been realized.

Someone she didn't know had dressed her wounds, seen her in her most vulnerable state, and had left her there for anyone to see. Doubtlessly her secret was now out in the open and the realization physically made her sick, as she leaned over the bed and began to dry heave.

The repulsion was there in her stomach as she realized that decades of bone-crushing sacrifice and skilled lying had all been for naught, wiped away by a brief inspection of her unclothed form. And what was even worse than that was the knowledge that her family would take the brunt of the consequences, as they would be left to the whims of the Elders once they disposed of her.

Because, although she knew they'd give her a hearing to hear her try and justify her actions, Karin had no reservations that it would little more than a show of propriety and good grace. With all the evidence stacked high against her and without an ounce of power to her name, she was going to pay for her con job, but not nearly enough to save Yuzu and their mother or safeguard their freedom once they disposed of her.

Coughing on air as she tried to release whatever was in her empty stomach, Karin's form was frozen still by a large hand on her back, attempting to support her. Despite knowing who it was, there was so much guilt that she couldn't summon the will to meet his eyes. That he could stand to be near her after discovering who and what she was, was a miracle in itself.

_Is this the last bit of kindness before hell, the calm before the storm?_ Karin pondered whimsically, as if idealism could combat the realness of her situation. But if this was going to be the last moment she saw him, then, damn it all, she was going to try and leave him with something better than the image of her broken body.

"I'm sorry," Karin whispered, knowing it would never be enough. But what she was apologizing for, she wasn't quite sure. For lying of course, but that wasn't her main concern.

No, she was more remorseful that she'd never get to see the boy she'd grown so fond of again, the one who could be exasperating and thoughtful and embarrassed. Sorry for all that hard work she put into a love that could never be, the notion even more bittersweet the second time around. She thought accepting it that night two months ago was hard, but now it only added to the loss eating at her soul.

Refusing to look into Hitsugaya's piercing gaze, she closed her eyes as she mentally pictured the war that was playing out in those eyes. There was no doubt that he had many inquiries that deserved clarification but there wasn't enough time. If she knew how her clan worked, they would come for her soon. Their time was limited and she needed to be selfish, as ill-timed as it was. But this time, her motives didn't pertain to her.

"They'll be here soon so I have to make this fast," Karin murmured, turning her head up with all the force she could muster. And although she expected the pain and disgust he openly wore, she couldn't help the inward flinch and wave of regret. But all of this had been a long time coming, right? She shouldn't be able to feel hurt when she was the one who had caused it in the first place. "I need you to do me one last favor."

"After all the things you've put me through, you think you have the right to request something of me?" Toushirou asked with disbelief, eyes narrowing with tempestuous anger. "How could you even think such a thing? You haven't even explained yourself yet."

"You don't understand, there's no time," she replied with a shake of her head. "They're coming for me as we speak, I can feel it. So when they take me, this'll be the last time we meet."

"What're you talking about? Who's taking you?" Bemusement broke in through his rage, softening his otherwise uncaring features.

In response, she could only offer a dry chuckle, as if it was enough. "The family guard is coming to arrest me and I'll be tried for treason against the Kurosaki House. Even after all the things I've done, I'm expendable as far as they're concerned." And then she snorted, both sardonic and a little sad. "Because I'm female and our scriptures are our only law."

Hitsugaya didn't comprehend a thing she was saying, only that she was being threatened by the same people that had raised her, taken care of her for her entire life. Nausea hit him hard at the notion that they'd lock her away for something like this, but he didn't pretend to understand nobility. Their rules made no sense to a logical mind like his and he'd never made an attempt to remedy that fact. Right now, a part of him desperately wished he had.

Before Toushirou could ask her again what she meant, the sounds of screaming came down from the hall, far away but moving in their direction. There were shouts to stop and then an interruption in the stomping of footsteps, as an argument ensued between who he was sure was Unohana-taichou and one of the intruders. The muffled sound of her soft voice was put up against the harsh tone and crude language of the uninvited guest. It was do-or-die before Karin's last moments of freedom were ripped from her hands.

As Toushirou stood up, determined to put an end to the commotion before he got his answers, she lunged for his hand, pulling him back. And immediately the sparks flew fast, running through their bodies and igniting a responsive that they both thought they'd buried long before. But the way he didn't pull away and the way she clutched at him just a little tighter said that neither had truly forgotten.

"There's no time left, Taichou. I need to tell you something," Karin said earnestly, her voice unbearably soft with lingering aftershocks. "Please listen to what I have to say. No matter what happens after this, you need to go to Byakuya-nii-san. Tell him to protect my mother and sister. I'll give him whatever he wants if…"

Her voice trailed just as the strength withered from her hand, as Karin looked down at her lap and felt the fight fall away. In truth, she had nothing left now, nothing to bargain with other than her life and that was only if she was going to be allowed to keep it. And while it wasn't worth much to anyone, Karin would give it up if that was what Byakuya wanted.

After all, the Kuchiki leader was her last hope, the only person with enough power and vision to directly intervene with affairs that no one else in this dimension could touch. All she could do now was ask, as futile as the need was. This would be her last request to both him and Hitsugaya, as their former student and friend, and maybe that would be enough for her to hold onto and fight for. Because as soon as those doors opened, it would be a countdown to her last days to a future that might never come.

For the first time in his life Hitsugaya wasn't fast enough to react, as the booming of the entrance busting open met his ears. And in swarmed dozens of shinigami, who surrounded the lone hospital bed and its patient, creating a picture of absolute absurdity. The once powerful Kurosaki was little stronger than a child despite her awakened shikai and certainly no threat to them, but they cornered her as if she was a dragoness protecting her nest.

Standing defensively, Toushirou eyed them from where he stood, using his authoritative aura to intimidate the team of private guards. Although the majority of graduates from Shino Academy preferred taking the more traditional route, working for a noble family entailed better pay and benefits with much less of the danger. Protecting the large castle and its people, the most excitement one experienced was throwing unwanted visitors onto the curb. But this, this was a whole different sphere of work for them, he was sure.

From their ranks stepped their leader, a man who had aged as if he'd seen better days many years ago. Hair the color of smoke fell down his back and his face was twisted with scorn that was aimed pointedly at the former heir. Somehow Karin managed to compose herself as she always did, donning the mask Kazuto had mastered half a century ago. The fact that it didn't fit on her face quite as well wasn't lost on either of them.

"Kurosaki-sama, you have been summoned by the Elders to stand trial for your crimes against the Kurosaki House. Their verdict will be made after you have stated your claims. The fate of both you and your family members will be decided then. Do you have anything to say in your defense?" The steely glare in his eyes insinuated that anything she said would have little weight to change his personal opinion.

In her mind, there were a million things she could say, wanted to really, but they'd never be heard with the impartiality that she needed. She was a traitor, plain and simple, regardless of all the hard work and time she'd put in, all the things she'd achieved for them and all the families she'd cared for. After all, Karin wasn't the true head of the Kurosaki House, not even at birth, and thus everything she'd done could easily be swept off to the wayside. Right now, anything she said would be considered useless and cowardly as far as this man was concerned.

Straightening herself to look at ease, Karin responded just as she knew they wanted her to. "Nothing. I will speak my peace only before the Council."

"Then it's time for you to leave with us. You'll be under our supervision until the trial."

Nodding, she moved to grab her stained black top and threw it over her shoulders, for modesty's sake. As Karin slipped over to dangle her feet over the edge, a form moved to stand in front of her, coming between her and the elder shinigami. As she worked to balance into a standing position, she didn't look up at her ex-captain. Doing so would only weaken her resolve.

"I won't let you take her," Hitsugaya interrupted softly, looking so much like his element as he drew his blade and met the eyes of the Kurosaki's policeman. A wave of disorder erupted from the group around them but no one moved to stop him, knowing that they were no match, even as a team. "I may not understand all of your rules or customs, but Kurosaki doesn't deserve a sentencing and certainly not now. Let her recuperate before throwing her in jail."

"Back down, Hitsugaya-taichou, before I report you to Central 46 and the _soutaichou_. This is not shinigami-related business. Therefore, you have no jurisdiction here," the aged man replied, strangely calm in spite of the promise in Hyourinmaru's glint.

"I don't care. You won't take Karin without a fight."

Inside her chest, the dark-haired girl felt her heart skip, eyes going wide with the simple utterance of her name. It'd been a long while since someone spoke it but there had never been a time where it wasn't uttered in secret, behind muffled hands or closed doors or a lie she created to protect herself.

But even more than that, it was because it was Toushirou who said it, warming her and soothing her nervousness, as unintentional as the warmth was. She'd caused him so much trouble on so many occasions that she was a little surprised he could still find it in himself to look after her, be concerned about her. She's miss him, there was no doubt about it, and all she could to was wish he knew that too.

"That's enough, Taichou. Unfortunately, he's right and by getting in his way you'll be incurring sanctions on yourself," Karin elucidated, refusing to let the weakness from her wounds stop her from being strong, not only for herself but him as well. She didn't want to make it harder for him to leave her alone, as she refused to drag him down with her. The ball was in the hands' of the universe and she had no doubt that the outcome would not be in her favor.

"But, Karin—"

Stopping his words with a shake of her head, the former successor staggered a few steps forward, catching herself with each limping movement. Her body protested each stretch of her muscles and creaked against itself, doing its best to follow her mental commands. And even though each ache rebounded until she could feel the blood pounding in her ears, Karin remained detached outwardly as she came to stand near the head guard.

From his client command the group retreated out of the room, making sure to confine Karin to the middle of the crowd. Numbly she could register the angry calls of Kikōō demanding her to run. It seemed even he understood just how terrible her punishment would be, as she smiled sadly at his waning voice, purposely blocking him out. She wouldn't let him suffer with her, not when she was already putting so many others on the line. This was the least she could do for her guardian, the one that she was only beginning to know but would never forget.

As the shinigami marched out, Karin chanced one last glance at Toushirou, who looked both furious and confused at her dismissal. But he would be, since she refused to give him all the information he wanted and pull him any deeper into the drama that was Soul Society politics. He'd given her so much and she wasn't sure if she'd ever been able to reciprocate it. A part of her knew she'd never mean half as much to him as he had meant to her. But perhaps that was a blessing in disguise for she'd never wanted to hurt him, especially not now.

From this moment on, second chances were little more than shooting stars to wish on and she was far too sensible to believe in those kinds of things anymore. Sending him a smile—the last smile she'd ever give him, Karin mused sadly—her granite irises reflected all the things she'd never said and all the understanding he hadn't known she knew.

_Thank you. I'm sorry. Don't worry. Goodbye._

But she still hid the one confession she refused to admit to anyone but herself.

_I love you, Hitsugaya Toushirou._

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: A very busy chapter and there's much more to come. To be honest, I'll be developing the story towards its climax from this point on so there'll be a lot of highs and lows over the next 10 to 12 (I increased my limit to give me some writing room) chapters. I hope you guys will stick around for it! It'll mean a lot to me.

The next chapter is gonna be just as crazy as this one, so don't miss it! And please review if you enjoyed~ Makes my heart all light and giddy and feeds my gluttonous muse. Haha.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Until next time~


	13. Chapter Twelve: Trial by Fire

**AN**: So I got mixed reviews for my last chapter and I thought that was fascinating. (Because, for some odd reason, I love it when people disagree with me/don't like something I like/have done. Those can start some really interesting conversations.) That being said, I actually like those reviews more for my muse because it makes me more motivated to push a chapter out.

Not flaming of course (trolls are trolls are trolls, in my book) and luckily I've never received one for this fic, but they feed my inspiration and creativity. A thoughtful comment—which is pretty much anything that sounds like it took more than a minute to write—means much more to me than blind praise. Because while I love encouragement, I love probing other people's brains. I like knowing how you guys are interpreting the story. It makes me want to write it better.

That being said, I got the strangest feeling that a lot of you guys think I've reached the climax of my story. Truth be told, I'm not even close. ;D

So thank you all for taking the time to write me a review! Regardless if it was 10 words or 100, I'm really happy and honored for each one. You guys amaze me with your consistency so thank you all _soooo_ much!

_Thank-you's for the last chapter_:

**Black Rose**: Yes, yes it did! I'm glad I could surprise you and there will be more. At least, I hope you'll be surprised. Makes me all giddy when people can't see what's coming next. Haha. And, yep, I think I've hit the halfway mark with this story but I might go over depending on how I space everything. There's still plenty of story left, after all. I can't tell you anything else though. You'll just have to sit around and wait to see when happens~

**Chifuyuu thelazy**: ... That's kind of scary. Haha! But I suppose it worked because the next chapter is all ready for you guys. Enjoy!

**Mi-Chan**: I'm sorry. It gets better. Well, in the future it gets better. :)

**Slight**: That's very thoughtful and I'm glad you love it so much. I can only hope that you'll still like it just as much even after you read this chapter. =D

**lalaland**: I'm glad you were willing to read it from the start. My writing was intentionally rather vague on purpose so I don't really know what to tell you... :/ All I can say is that there's more to come and I hope you like this chapter as well. Enjoy!

**nureen**: And I'm back with a fairly quick update again! I'm on a roll with my writing, but procrastination does that, no? I'm actually tired of writing emotions because I do them so often. I'm ready to get this story in high-gear so look forward to that in this chapter and the many more to come. =D

**D**: It is true. I knew people would be happy if djAngelynn and I made that bargain and I'm happy to see I was right. Haha. There was a lot going on there, but they were all things that had to happen. Believe me, there will be more moments to challenge those ones. I hope you'll stick around for them. ;D

**Twistedkorn**: Thank you. I'm finally developing the actual plot and I'm super excited. So please look forward to much more from this story~

_Warnings_: You might hate me after this chapter. :/

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Twelve: Trial by Fire<em>

It was funny how she'd often visited the cellar where they housed prisoners and yet she'd never really taken a good look at it. With moonshine filtering down from a barred window as the only source of light, Karin wondered if all prisoners questioned their sanity at one point. Hell, a part of her was wondering why she hadn't been doing that her entire life with the way she'd been raised. An identity crisis amidst harboring a fatal secret, it was the stuff that novels were made of.

But within a well-crafted piece of fiction, the heroine would be resourceful and find a way out of a predicament like this in an unrealistically clever manner, bare-handed and just making it out alive. Or, in a more romantic version, a man who'd always been in love with her would assist in her escape and they'd find themselves falling helplessly in love, the ending always the same. And while Karin was a fan of the former, she completely laughed at the latter.

There had never been a man to see her as anything more than the one she pretended to be—_Kazuto_, she reminded herself, as she finally came to grips with the fact that that part of her had turned into nothing more than a name—and now she was no one. Kurosaki Karin had been born into royal blood but she'd spent her first days as her true self locked in a _reiatsu_-stifling room, a caged bird in her own estate.

Even more worrisome than that was the absence of her partner, she murmured to herself as her hand drifted to her left hip only to find empty air. Stripped of Kikōō as soon as she was out of the Fourth, her soul had protested the handling of her zanpakuto. She could still hear his voice in her ears, a raging scream that threatened an untimely death for the hands that held his sword form, but it was an empty warning. He'd accepted her as his master and without her he was just as powerless as she was.

_Am I really such a terrible person?_ she asked herself for the umpteenth time, the one question she'd been repeating from the start of her confinement. As a child, one was taught that only the bad were punished, that justice would be served no matter how much time elapsed. Now she couldn't help but muse that maybe she'd been wrong the entire time, trying to outsmart the world and assuming she wouldn't be caught. Byakuya had always said she was naïve, letting her guard down just because she was strong and intelligent, taunting that her arrogance would be her weak point. If only she'd known just how right he would be.

At the thought of the beautiful nobleman, Karin couldn't help but hope he'd come to her aid. But even that notion made her wince outwardly at her stubborn foolishness, as she leaned back against the white slab behind her, the one that fed off her impressive energy. A few days of being imprisoned and her body was losing strength faster than it could replenish it, as the meals were plenty but unsatisfactory on her palette. Food lost flavor when a person had no joy to go with it, and thus her usually enormous appetite waned and her vigor with it.

There were so many questions she had, so many doubts and misunderstandings she wanted to clarify, but the Elders had revoked visitor privileges early on. The only time she saw her family was when they stole into the basement, gaining pity from one of the few guards still loyal to her. And even though they had a few minutes to talk and soothe each other's sadness, all Masaki could do was apologize with bitter tears, as Yuzu clutched at her twins' hands through the metal bars and sobbed quietly.

And, despite her torn-up reputation and loss of status, Karin knew she hadn't stopped being the pillar that held her family up. Instead of pleading with them to contact the Kuchiki House as she should have, instead the dark-haired girl gave them that short sacred time to help assuage their worries, as fruitless as her promises were.

In the end, she'd stroked her mother's cheek and told her that she'd be fine, a lie both of them saw through but one the older woman had no doubt appreciated. And then she'd kissed her sister on the forehead and told her to be strong for their mother and herself. Karin wouldn't be able to support them forever, but she'd try to as long as she could still give them hope.

But then her mind wandered to the last person she should've been thinking of, as her dark silver eyes watched the full moon come into view from her place on the cot. It was more practical to mull over the possibilities that he'd obeyed her and sought out the Sixth's captain as her final wish entailed. Hell, even reflecting on the chance that he'd decided she wasn't worth the trouble and discarded her request would've made sense. After all, it was coming from someone who was likely to be on death's doorstep once the week was up.

And yet neither of those scenarios replayed in her head. Instead, Karin tried to recapture the jade shine of his eyes, the snow of his hair, even the tenseness in his mouth when he smirked to himself. They were the only things she had of him now and she clung to them in fear that she'd forget the smallest details or that he'd forget her completely. Because she loved him and truly that was her biggest regret. For she would never get to say the words and he would always think she'd intentionally hurt him, even though it was the last thing she wanted to do.

Letting the flicker of melancholy fade, the former heiress had to admit that she'd never been particularly good at making her heart stop all its idle dreaming; that sort of thing was left in Kazuto's capable hands. But the safety net of her other half was gone, along with the _shikai_ she'd nearly died for and a life she'd built from scratch with her own blood, sweat and tears. And, as she turned her wandering mind away, she asked herself what someone else would do when their life fell apart as the world watched in fervor as the outcome approached.

Was there even a point in fighting for a life that had nothing left in it, save for a few loved ones that might suffer less if she confessed wholly to her crimes? All of this had been for them and even now, as she accepted that these might be the last of her days, they were still the only ones she wanted to protect. More than apologizing and explaining, Karin prayed that her small, broken family would manage to find new strength all over again, just as they had fifty years ago. It was the last bit of idealism she'd allow herself to sleep with at night.

Closing her eyes, Karin sucked in a deep breath, the white prisoner's kimono rustling with her uncertainty. As she laid down onto the thin mattress of her bed, somehow she wasn't surprised by the answer that came in a silky smooth voice that she'd thought was too far to reach her. And his calming, masculine lilt caused reluctant tears to gather in her eyes, as she hoped for Kikōō's safety and added him to the short list of people she'd sacrifice everything for.

_You must live your life, Mistress, even when death is the only option._

* * *

><p>Stepping into the silent hallways, Hitsugaya followed behind an elderly man with graying hair, whose shuffling gait scraped against the newly polished floors of the mansion. With the sun having set a few hours before and the majority of residents preparing for bed, he'd made his journey using the cloak of night as a shield. There could be no witnesses since the rumor mill was turned on especially high in this part of Seireitei, and currently Kurosaki Kazuto was the talk of choice.<p>

But she wasn't 'Kazuto' anymore but 'Karin,' the populace learned later, whispering behind hands with a combination of disgusted shock and morbid fascination. She was a cross-dressing, would-be leader whose credibility had been sullied and rocked by scandal. And no one pulled their punches, not when they found that they'd all been tricked, chiming in and saying that there was always something off about that 'Kurosaki tomboy.'

And every time he happened across a rather chatty group, they'd immediately look at him, stop suddenly and finally turn away, as if unsure how to react to his presence. The faint shine of pity they shot him charred his already exposed nerves, as he merely narrowed his eyes in warning. It never failed to make them scatter but it was only for a moment. Eventually they aggregated again and the cycle continued, vicious and unrelenting.

There was no doubt that the sympathy they shot him was because they thought he felt betrayed by Kurosaki's secret, guessing that having a personal student would mean that there would be no secrets between them. However, Hitsugaya would never begrudge a person their demons, especially one of this magnitude. However, he was quick to learn that his way of thinking was a luxury. For in a small but present percentage of the gossipmongers, a few whispered that he likely felt stupid for being outmaneuvered by a young girl. A genius who couldn't even deduce his own student's true form seemed like a practical joke only the universe could pull.

The fact that Karin's life hung in the balance seemed to go forgotten by the nosy populace, as the implication that she was disposable had Hitsugaya clenching his hands into fists. While they were all placing bets on the fate of her existence, she was locked in solitary confinement while awaiting her trial. For all anyone knew, these would be the last moments of her supposedly eternal life.

The thought hurt him more than he could've ever imagined.

Led to a private room, the manservant slipped away, presumably to call his master. The white moon's beams outside slipped in through the thin paper of the doors, the only other source of light being a lantern hanging on the wall. Only a few moments seated there and Toushirou was already feeling out of place, noticing the aged wisdom in the walls and the priceless antiques that were small in number but strategically placed. Although he and Kuchiki-taichou shared much in terms of experience and strength, sitting in that waiting room was a wake-up call; in the end, they were two very different people from completely separate worlds outside of the Gotei Thirteen.

Letting his eyes linger on the far wall, he felt more than heard Byakuya approach, his steps silent but the flicker of his power strong and tightly leashed. Clenching his jaw, the Tenth's captain could only wait until the older man took the seat in front of him, looking as poised as ever in his expensive garb. Luckily for him, the dark-haired captain was like him manners-wise and preferred to dole out his inquiries without all the unneeded pleasantries.

"You're here about Kurosaki." A statement, not a question. Inside, Hitsugaya was impressed by how he barely batted an eyelash as he spoke, as if he was talking about something mundane or ordinary. But those were two words he'd never use to describe this particular girl.

"I am," he replied just as calmly, using the quiet to keep his nerves under wraps. "She sent me to deliver a message."

His answer was only more silence from his host. It seemed that the Kuchiki leader was even colder than he thought, as the other only continued to watch and wait to see what else he had to offer. A strange chill ran down his back, making the younger _taichou_ grimace at the sensation. Or maybe it was the lack of interest in the other's visage that was causing an uncharacteristic iciness to seep into his skin.

"She told me that she needs your help," he explained, lacing his finger as he directed his eyes downwards at the smooth, wooden table. "She wanted to make sure her mother and sister were safe. Although she understands that she might not keep her life at the end of her trial, she hopes that you'll continue to look after them even in her absence."

That last sentence nearly didn't leave his lips, as the words got tangled like a sticky gob against his tongue, wrestling for escape. And it'd been an unpleasant fight as he said them, hoping that what she suspected wouldn't come to light. Execution for a crime meant that her sins were greater than any redemption the Elders could give, and it set his insides on fire with the knowledge that it could very well come to that. But Byakuya's response to his words chilled that flame, dousing it completely and flash-freezing the blood in his veins.

"I'm not sure what I can do to help." His voice was tempered evenly, as untouched as freshly fallen snow but infinitely colder. Only good training kept the astonishment from breaking Toushirou's façade.

"What do you mean by that?" Lifting his eyes to meet Kuchiki-taichou's, he could sense how his own darkened, hardened with emotion he rarely let himself feel. What mirrored back at him were dark orbs that were the complete opposite.

"I mean that I cannot help her with this. It is out of my hands."

Glaring harder, a frown split his previously controlled features. "Is it really that you can't help her, or that you refuse to?" And without know it, his attention had shifted away from her plea for her mother and sister to the need to rescue Karin herself.

Silence reigned again, but this time the sound roared in Toushirou's ears. Whether it was the pounding of his blood or the crash of Byakuya's betrayal, he wasn't sure but that didn't stop the rush of sensations that attacked him. And all of them wished to draw blue blood on Karin's behalf.

"She trusted you for decades, Kuchiki-taichou. Hell, you practically raised the girl," Hitsugaya started slowly, softly, trying to maintain control on his anger. "And yet this is the extent of your loyalty, allowing her to fall in line like a lamb off to slaughter when she is the real victim here."

A shine of irritation filled his stare, the first sign of emotion the royal had showed him since the start. "You speak of things you cannot fully appreciate, Hitsugaya-taichou. You have neither the experience nor the understanding of in-house politics that she and I have."

"And yet I'm here delivering a request from her very mouth and you turn it away. And for what? Because it's proper, because it's not your own family who's facing execution?" The heat in his words were coming from a place Hitsugaya hadn't known he was harboring, as he fought with piercing green eyes and words that might not have been wise but were heartfelt all the same. "If you can't save her, then no one can."

"It is no longer my right to intervene. Another noble family intentionally butting into another's affairs could be a reason for war and bloodshed. Do you not comprehend the repercussions of my actions if I went through with such a rash decision out of attachment to the Kurosaki girl, Hitsugaya-taichou? There are others' lives at stake, and she is aware of that."

Truth be told, Toushirou hadn't. A part of him couldn't even begin to understand the complexity and depth of the Four Noble Houses, their roles in Soul Society's formation and current functioning. He hadn't been able connect the dots and see that there were others that depended on them, innocent people to care for the land they owned and others to defend them as needed.

And all of them were just doing their jobs, none deserving to die for a cause as selfish as this one. As he stared listlessly into the neutral face of his companion, Hitsugaya wanted to know why he was even here then, asking for something that he was sure Karin knew would never be able to be granted.

Into the chilly air, his voice was as dull as his blunted emotions. "Why would she ask me to come here if she knew that you'd say no?"

Without mincing words, Byakuya replied with foresight that made the white-haired boy sick to his stomach. "Because she doesn't want to save herself. Her family, her people, her home, those are the things that are salvageable. But her life belongs to no one now."

The gravity in which he said the words hit Toushirou hard, as he heard the rustle of the other man's clothes as he stood up. He was going to leave, which meant letting Karin walk to her own demise without so much as a backwards glance. Because that was how the Noble Houses worked. They weren't an elite group that served the greater good, but instead were four separate entities that looked out for their own. And if that was what being an aristocrat meant, then Hitsugaya hoped he'd never understand the indifference that was nobility.

But then an idea came to mind, one that fell from his lips just as Byakuya stepped before the exit. "Make a contract with me."

A small, weary pause. "What do you mean?"

"That's how all this started, right? You made a deal with Karin's mother and all of this happened, including the repercussions." Turning in his seat, he stared at the other's back, willing him with his emerald stare to look back at him. "So do the same with me. Save Karin's life and I will give you anything you want."

"I don't think you realize what you're intending, Hitsugaya-taichou." However, the words contradicted his actions, as the larger man spun back and shot him a look of contemplation. "If you have nothing that interests me, I can easily turn you down. There is nothing you own that is of value to me so what else will you bargain with?"

"A favor," he replied in kind, standing up at full height so as not to look intimidated. "You can ask anything from me at any time and I will do it. Even if it's something illegal, if that's what you wish, it will be carried out without question." He looked away then, cowed by what he couldn't help but say next. "So, please, Kuchiki-taichou, save Karin."

"Why?" The change of topic was so abrupt that Toushirou had to lift his stare and hold the other's, a silhouette of confusion crossing his features. "Why are you doing this for her? What is she to you?"

And, for once in his life, Hitsugaya was completely honest about the feelings only one woman had ever roused from him. "I don't know. She shouldn't mean anything and I know I shouldn't care what happens in the end, especially after all she's done, but…" Sighing, he tugged at his hair, his words failing him just when he needed them most. But he knew what was inside him, the emotions she stirred, the ones he'd thought he'd long buried and forgotten about. "I just know that Karin's different. To me, she's someone worth saving."

The almost begging tone in his voice wasn't lost on either of them, but nor did either of them admit to hearing it. But as he watched Byakuya's dark, storming eyes, something broke through that torrent of rumination and consideration. And there was only one way that Hitsugaya could think of to describe it, as he watched the other's face relax into joyless acceptance.

_Relief_.

And somehow it all clicked into place inside his head, as he watched the older shinigami offer him his hand to seal the deal. There was no reluctance to save Karin, no dispassion or lack of trying. What Byakuya needed was a reason to break every unwritten rule and known law in Seireitei to intervene where he was unwanted. And this would be that reason, Toushirou mused as he moved cautiously to accept the outstretched limb. However, there was a catch, as the other spoke with warning in his voice.

"There will be no way to break out of this contract once you've agreed, Hitsugaya-taichou, nor is there any guarantee that I'll succeed," he explained, voice deep in his chest and authoritative as was his nature. "And if it is not, your end of the bargain will still have to be upheld. Do you understand?"

He nodded, eyes as clear as the cloudless morning sky. "I do."

"It also means that she may never be with you either." At those words, he stopped in mid-motion, eyes jumping to that unyielding face and asking what he meant. Luckily for him, the Kuchiki leader was receptive to the inquiry, as he fully disclosed his terms. "I may save Karin but that will mean her future will be in the hands of others, just as anyone of noble birth is forced into. If that is the case, she may be subjected to the Elders' wills or something just as constraining. With that in mind, do you still wish to sacrifice yourself for a woman who may never be yours?"

If there was any hesitation before, it was gone with the grave look the other gave him. _As long as she's safe, I don't care_, Hitsugaya told himself as he took Byakuya's hand and clasped it strongly in his own. Maybe this was the wrong decision, maybe not. But, as far as he was concerned, Karin alive and safe somewhere in this world was better than letting her die in vain. Knowing that he could see her, even if just a glimpse at her profile from afar, gave him hope that they just might meet again some day.

* * *

><p>The actual hearing felt like a completely separate lifetime altogether, Karin thought as she kneeled on the floor with guards flanking her sides. It wasn't as if she could escape them with how drained her body was, but she kept that notion to herself. The Elders hadn't appreciated her condescending attitude as Kazuto; hearing it from Karin would only speed up the process towards an unknown end she wasn't quite ready to face.<p>

As she told her story, a part of her wondered if any of these so-called wise men held any sympathy for her. Although a number of those belonging to the previous generation had been replaced over the years—thanks to her weeding out of the most dangerous characters throughout her reign—there were still many who wished she was more of a puppet than a free-thinking leader. They'd hoped that by raising her she'd feel indebted to them, hang on their every word and accept any and all guidance. If it wasn't for Byakuya's influence, she had no doubt that their plan would've been a very successful one.

It was the Kuchiki's strict but sure upbringing that made her so serious before these people who had once tried to gain her favor, as she refused to break down and plead for their mercy. This could be the day that she died and if it was, then she wanted to put on the performance of her life. It wasn't hard; after all, she'd been putting on one for over half a century now.

"Do you have anything to say in your defense, Kurosaki-sama?" The head elder watched her through narrowed eyes, his aged face hardened with seriousness that she rarely saw on him. There was once a time where he had looked at her with fondness, Karin pondered gently, wondering if she was truly so different that she didn't deserve the same respect she'd worked so hard to earn. It was confusing and eye-opening all at once, as she steeled her heart to his damning stare.

"I did what I believed was best for my family. Although my mother made the decision early on before many of you took seats on my council, I agreed to carry on the fallacy. Even if you convict me today, I need your word that you'll absolve my mother of any guilt. This burden was mine alone and you will treat it as such."

The command left her mouth as if it fell from Kazuto's, strong and passionate, a call that demanded to be fulfilled by others. And what she so desperately wanted for her family was peace, even at the price of her own head. They'd recover one day, not soon but surely in the distant future, but only if they had each other. And while Yuzu was certainly no wilting flower, tearing both her twin and mother away at the same time would surely end the Kurosaki line, of that Karin had no doubt.

"Kurosaki Masaki is the reason for all this. I can no more let her walk free today than let you go without punishment," he argued, voice even as he entwined his fingers and waited for her reply.

"Then discuss the terms of her punishment with me. I will gladly take the highest sentence if it means that hers will be lighter." And she meant it too. Even if she wasn't already on death's row, she would've easily stepped on it if her mother had been in line. There was nothing she could do now but barter for Masaki's pardon with what little she had.

"You are already up for that sentence and we cannot kill you twice, Kurosaki-sama. You will need to offer something better than that if you wish to lower your mother's degree of punishment." At the sobs of protests from Yuzu in the corner, Karin had to grit her teeth to stop from cursing.

He was purposely being indelicate, trying to scare her into submission and wriggle out of the plea bargain she wanted. But she'd be damned if she was going to be cowed by the graying judge or any of his colleagues. The ending might be fixed for her, but they wouldn't lay a hand on her mother or sister's heads if she had her say.

But Karin also knew she was out of options, as she gripped her hands in her lap and met his condescending eyes with aplomb. And for the first time in her life, she was scared. She was scared that there would be nothing for her to give in exchange, nothing to save the last of her family, the only people she had ever cared about.

The thought brought the sharp sting of tears to her eyes, the desperation consuming what little hope she had left, but she held them in. If this would be her last breath, then she'd hold onto her pride until they wrung the very last bit of her soul from her body.

Accepting her silence for acquiescence, the main councilman spoke to the court as a whole. "If there's nothing else, then I'd like to conclude—"

The boom of the backdoors opening caused a shift in everyone's attention, as a well manicured man strode in with a scroll in his hand. Whispers of disdain and outrage filled the room, as they noticed the insignia he proudly wore, his face impervious to the gossip. Just a glance at him had Karin daring to be optimistic, her eyes trailing after him as he approached the rows of Elders.

The Kuchiki clan's symbol breathed a small but wary piece of strength into her crumbling resolve.

Quieting his riotous comrades, the head Elder glared down at the newcomer. "What business do you have here, sir? You are intruding on a serious Kurosaki House matter, one that certainly has no place for a member of the Kuchiki family."

A fresh scowl melded onto the other man's face, distinctly not liking the lack of respect he was being shown. "I come bearing news from my master, Kuchiki Byakuya-dono, that will turn the tides of this sham of a trial. On his orders, I am to demand for Kurosaki Karin's freedom, as well as the safety of the main family. It is imperative that you heed my words, Elders, or you shall incite the wrath of the Kuchiki House on your own heads."

From the blatant attack came a buzzing of outrage and ridicule erupted, as voices of shrieking, screaming and booming qualities took over the once-silent room. And in the middle stood the courier, holding his head high and accepting the verbal abuse as if he was the one on trial. But that didn't sit well with Karin, as she watched the circus before her and felt that irrevocable need to maintain order in her own home.

So she didn't stop herself from getting up, stretching out her calf muscles and standing tall even as her guards attempted to stop her. But the aristocratic look she gave them, the one where she looked down her nose as if they were little more than specks on her radar, had them backing down with their tails between their legs. Because this was her home and, regardless if they acknowledged her or not, she was still head of the Kurosaki clan.

Perhaps not by right or tradition but she was the only one they had, the only one with the ability to handle all of these tempestuous people in the room. She was Kurosaki Karin, an unofficial queen by birth and upbringing, and she'd be damned if this was how her home was going to end up if she was forced to face the ultimate punishment. There'd be nothing left of their proud heritage and she wouldn't stand for it.

"Enough." Without the baritone of Kazuto's call, her voice was soft and beguiling, like a Siren's. Pleasant in its purity but harsh with authority that one had to be deaf and dumb to miss, it calmed the ruckus to deathly stillness, as everyone's eyes fell to the radiant woman. She was deceptively angelic, as she lifted sure onyx eyes to meet the head councilman's deliberate stare.

"You have been rude to our guest, a man sent by Kuchiki Byakuya himself. As a member of the main family, I will not allow such a travesty to take place in my house, especially not in my own presence," she spoke with measured words, sizing them up as she scanned the wall of her council. None of them dared to interrupt.

"You will listen to what he has to say and you will give his words the consideration they so deserve. I will not tolerate such insolence, as it reflects poorly not only on you and me but on the Kurosaki House as a whole. While you may be content with the positions you have now, I can't guarantee that you will be allowed to hold onto those places when the next Kurosaki heir is born."

And even though she should've had no power in that room, Karin felt as if she'd finally come into her own, as she eyed the Elders with wariness lining her soft features. Any one of them could have called her out, told her that her opinion didn't matter as her influence had died with her secret, but not one rebelled.

And although a part of her asked why they'd accepted her words so easily, deep down she knew the reason. Because she was a Kurosaki and, on some level, everyone still recognized her as the only successor of the title. Whether it was by force of habit or something innate in her, she knew that no one would challenge her authority when she spoke to them as she did then.

Looking over at the envoy, Karin nodded at him. "Speak your piece, sir. I assure you that you will not be disrupted again."

A bow, low and courteous, was his response. "Thank you, Kurosaki-dono. I am honored that you personally cared for my wellbeing." And then he turned back, confidence gaining as he swept a glance across all the anxiety-ridden faces of his audience. "I have come with news from Kuchiki-dono concerning the deal that Kurosaki Masaki-sama had made with him many years ago. There was more to the contract than what was previously disclosed to Kurosaki-dono, a plan to secure her safety in the event that her identity was exposed."

Not quite holding in her shock, Karin's eyes shot to her mother in the far back corner, cradling Yuzu, who had trails of tears running down her face. But the stricken expression that shook the foundation of Masaki's torn appearance told her that it wasn't true, that there was no saving grace that she knew of. That had to mean that Byakuya had devised one to rescue her, one that both lifted her spirits heavenward and weighed her down like lead at the bottom of the ocean.

Because there was always a sacrifice that had to be made whenever such a deal was agreed upon, and Karin couldn't help but wonder what he'd sacrificed for her and she for him. And, in the very back of her mind, she wondered if Hitsugaya had also been swept up into the currents of her downward spiral. Just the thought brought a choking guilt into her esophagus, lapping at the lining and eating into her very core.

Turning her attention back to the messenger, he explained the version that the Kuchiki leader had told him. From the start, it was nearly identical in structure and wholly detached, as was Byakuya's nature. The thought that she might've been comforted by his presence crossed her mind, as the conflict refused to settle in her belly.

While not known for his caring or empathetic prowess, she and the Sixth's captain were two of a kind, a pair who understood each other better than most humans would ever understand themselves. That thought lasted until the man explained the last bit, the part that would make or break the entire trial. And as the words fell from his mouth, any warmth Karin had from her friend quickly vanished, replaced by confusion, denial and seething anger.

"He has dutifully accepted his role in her deceit and will live up to the promise he made Kurosaki-sama. From this moment forward, the Kuchiki House has fully acknowledged Kurosaki Karin as Kuchiki-dono's fiancé in reparation for her crimes against the Kurosaki House."

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: Before anyone sends me a review full of questions or anything like that, remember this: there is a reason for everything in this story. I'll just leave it at that. So while there may be people out there hating me right now, don't worry your pretty little heads too much. :)

But... is this killing you guys right now? I hope so! LOL I promise, everything will make sense eventually. :D I warned you guys earlier, the story starts now. And it doesn't let up either. The suspense builds better drama, after all. ;))))

So, before I beg you guys to write a few words into the box below and click that button, I wanted to say thank you for all your reviews, alerts and favorites! I love all of you guys so please continue checking those boxes at the bottom. =D

Thanks for reading! Until next time~


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Goodbyes

**AN**: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and favorited and alerted this story! **Because of all your guys' amazingness, I've reached _404 reviews, 134 favorites and 162 alerts~_** **And, on top of all that, this story is turning one years old this month!** That's awesome on so many levels and I'm soooo happy, you guys don't even know! So thank you again and I'm sorry for the delay. Unfortunately real life + writer's block + laziness is a horrible writing combination. Who knew, right? :)

_Thank-you's for the last chapter_:

**Black Rose**: Is it bad to say that I enjoyed your reaction? Seeing everyone's mixed responses was very fun for me, to be honest. Haha. I hope that I've answered a few of your questions, but with every answer there are always more, aren't there? I can't tell you guys a boring story, after all. ;) Enjoy the chapter~

**Mi-chan**: I've never been called 'sama' before... I like it! :D Haha. I'm very glad you enjoyed the little twist and hopefully you guys will continue to support this little epic of mine. :)

**Anonymous**: Unfortunately, because there are so many things that center around Karin and Toushirou, I don't get to explore the other characters as much. :( I hope to do more with the other officers later, maybe the next chapter. I hope you enjoy the chapter~

**D**: Completely normal to get mad at nonexistent people. It's how I enjoy every anime I watch. ;D I'm glad you enjoyed the last part, despite the fact that it was sad. But things have to get worse to get better, no? I personally love writing Byakuya. He's so complex and it's interesting trying to pick apart those layers of his. Unfortunately, I don't make promises mostly because the story is already written out in my head. I can't change something that's essentially finished. :( If it makes you feel better, I'll do my best not to mess with the original Bleach story too much. As for the IchiRuki... who knows? You'll just have to read the rest of the story to find out. :DDDD Thanks for reading!

**nureen**: I haven't done a cliffy like that in a while so it was very refreshing, no? ;) I can only hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint so please enjoy!

**Aoi. Kunieda-Karin. Kurosaki**: Thank you. I'm very picky about how I construct my chapters. Unfortunately there are a lot of irrational rules in nobility, aren't there? Doesn't make much sense but tradition is tradition, nonetheless. I hope you like this chapter as well~

**Kuschkova**: I think... you should totally create an account! Haha. I always see fans of stories just archiving their favorites. It's just easier in the end, I think. :) Thank you for the review!

**nanaochanbear**: There's still a lot more to tell and I've still got a few tricks up my sleeves for the next few chapters. Be prepared. ;)))))

**D-Grayman Fan**: I'm glad I was able to catch you by surprise. A story is only as good as its ability to keep you guessing and interested. Or, that's what I think at least. I hope you like this chapter as well~

**Sausages P**: I've been busy but I'm back for the moment at least! :D I personally hate the Elders myself, but it's not the first time in Bleach that the 'wise' people screw things up, no? As for our main characters, well, there's not enough time in the world to break all that down. You'll just have to wait and see what I have in store for them. :)

_Warnings_: A transition chapter. I'm tying up a few loose ends, splitting a few more and keeping the story moving.

I'm not sure if anyone else had problems accessing this chapter as well so I had to repost it. I'm sorry about the difficulties. FF is not loving me right now. :/

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Thirteen: Goodbyes<em>

She wanted to throw up.

With her stomach rumbling with acidity and untamed horror, Karin's finely controlled expression became a slave to her rampant emotions. All she could do was cover her mouth, as she pursed her lips and fought back the waves of nausea that threatened to overtake her senses. Any relief she might've felt when the messenger first arrived had disappeared, wholly and completely.

The stunned silence left the council of Elders in a state similar to her own, mixed disdain and uncertainty weaving between them. Were they supposed to take the word of this stranger, a man from a separate clan at that? But to not heed him and have the resulting repercussions with the Kuchiki Family would likely turn into civil war, one that would be incredibly ill-timed.

There were whispers of an old battle resurfacing from the mouths of the Central Forty-Six, one that would require strength and numbers beyond what was currently available. And while its members judiciously respected the noble families' rights, they would certainly police them if it meant committing a few extra men to their cause. Terminating an inner-city war and divesting them of their guards would be child's play for the legislative body.

After a few moments, the lead Elder cleared his throat, trying to get a handle on his voice again. The blend of awe contradicted his purpose. "How are we to be sure of your claims? The Kuchiki Clan and ours have always been on good terms, but this is ridiculous. There's nothing for you to gain from sparing Kurosaki-dono's life."

"On the contrary, this puts both sides on greater footing in the future and offers chances for better relations," the middle-aged messenger touted, his voice's sureness filled with obvious pride at the reasoning his home had concocted. "There is no immediate heir to the Kuchiki House as of yet, nor is there a legitimate leader of the Kurosaki one. With Kurosaki-dono arranged to marry Kuchiki-dono, both problems are solved. She will bear the next successor for my lord, as well as manage your family's affairs as she always has until the next Kurosaki heir is born."

"But that would mean…" The head of the council shifted his gaze to the back, landing on a cowering Yuzu, who was nestled in her mother's embrace. "If that is the case, then Kurosaki Yuzu will be married off promptly to ensure the family's fate—"

"No."

Startled by the interruption, all eyes went back to their young heiress, her face furrowed in a glower that would've had most cowering. And a few did, she noticed as a number in her peripheral vision shrunk back, but she only had eyes for the man before her, the one whose decision would tip the scale either into balance or skew it entirely.

"What do you mean by 'no'?" he asked, his forehead wrinkling further at her obvious displeasure. The old man could see the barely tamed anger there, seething beneath her cold outer shell, just waiting for a chance to show itself in full.

"This hearing was for me and my punishment, not for you to decide what will happen to Yuzu," Karin explained evenly, "And despite the fact that there have been new developments, the purpose for all this still stands. My future will be decided from here on, not my sister's."

Bristled by her heavy words, the judge tried to persuade her judgment. "You must admit that the circumstances call for deliberation, Kurosaki-dono—"

"What calls for deliberation is what you will do with this new information," she interjected forcefully, taking an offensive step forward to quietly bare her teeth at him and the rest of the council. "But from what I can tell, there really is nothing more to say, is there? All we can do is accept the engagement by this man's word and after that you will reinstate me back into my position.

"And by extension of that right, I will not give away my sister's hand to anyone other than the man she chooses for herself. Do I make myself clear, Head Counselor?"

The disinclination to agree was apparent in the deep lines of his face, frown deepening as he searched for the words to oppose her. But her argument was sound and with the entrance of the Kuchiki House's intervention, there was no clear-cut path to take other than the one that'd been made for him. As the myriad of emotions washed over his countenance, Karin could only watch with unfeeling aloofness as his shoulders slumped in resignation.

And, once more, he reverted back to the careful respect he always used with the noblewoman. "As you wish, Kurosaki-dono."

* * *

><p>Tucked into her futon late at night, Karin could only stare at the ceiling as numbness continued to radiate to the farthest edges of her body. Looking back hours after the trial, anyone would've considered the turn of events a victory, a stroke of fate that only a master playwright could pen. But when the feeling of nothingness never gave way to neither relief nor joy, she knew it wasn't just adrenaline in her system.<p>

With court adjourned, the re-established Kurosaki leader could barely recall her twin falling into her arms, crying and praying as she clutched at her sister's middle. It was a rare moment in which Karin could see the stark differences in them, their physical natures and opposite personalities. Where she was cool and collected, Yuzu sobbed as if she'd been the one spared and not the other way around, seeming so much smaller and softer, like the childish forms they had both long outgrown. And, deep down, she was a little jealous that the auburn-haired girl had enough strength to let herself fall helplessly into her own emotions, as she held Yuzu's shoulders and let her be thankful for the both of them.

Her mother was also a standout amidst the blurred congratulating faces and supportive cheers, her memory fuzzy despite the recentness of the event. But she didn't stand out because of anything she particularly did, as Masaki responded to the verdict with silent tears and an embrace that felt the same as always, but because of those words she whispered before she pulled away. And never would Karin forget the look of absolute solemnity and tortured sorrow that she'd tried so hard to keep from the Kurosaki matriarch's face.

_"I'm so sorry, Karin."_

In the heat of the moment, a daughter's urge to comfort her mother was there, tangled with her warring emotions but one that never quite managed to reach the surface. Whatever barrier she'd put up inside her still refused to come down, keeping back the shock and rage along with her usual empathy. In the end, she could say nothing to Masaki, merely staring listlessly at the older woman's saddened visage, time slipping through her fingers like grains of sand.

However, in the confines of her room with nothing but her thoughts for company, Karin could feel the inner defense slip quietly to the ground, closing her eyes as she felt the first few trickles of emotion hit her. How it didn't feel like a dam breaking was a mystery to her, as she braced herself for strong embitterment and soul-searing rage at the unfairness of it all, appropriate reactions to the kind of hell she'd been put through. What she got instead was more like a waterfall, a cascade of equally potent but peaceful passions. And that, she thought to herself, was the most terrifying part, the reticent acceptance instead of the storming pain.

It was then that she realized that there was a reason as to why she was so perfectly in control of her heart: she was no longer the one in control of it. Eyes drifting to her left, the characteristic red scabbard was painted in shadows, not a jewel out of place or a scratch to be seen. She shouldn't have been surprised to find that Kikōō had something to do with it, his silence both calming and jarring.

When she closed her eyes, Karin knew it wasn't sleep that would claim her but her own inner world. Stepping onto the nearly forgotten stone tiles, her eyes strayed up to that singular throne beneath the only light in the endless room. And there sat the beautiful man who shouldered her burden far more than he had any right to, forcing himself between her inner conflicts and consciousness to protect her. The self-righteous anger she was finally able to feel was cathartic as it reentered her, reverting her back to her old self again as the blunting effect faded. Good. She'd need all of her strength to properly combat her partner.

Coming to stand before him, she stared down at the comfortably resting zanpakuto. Those steely blue eyes contrasted with the wily smile on his lips, just as stunning as they always were but so deceptive in their beauty.

"Your protection was unneeded." Her words were intentionally vague and rough, her face screwing up to reveal her disdain. If there was one thing she hated more than her own weakness, it was being underestimated, especially by someone who was supposed to know everything about her.

"And yet you're still in one piece, are you not? Both physically and mentally," the hidden phoenix replied, his voice outright unapologetic in its casual pleasantness. His gaze sharpened then, becoming ice as he dragged it over his master's equally hardened exterior. "You were in no shape to deal with it yourself, what with your lack of care for your own wellbeing. Skipping meals, worrying incessantly. It's a wonder you were able to stand in court, much less defend your position as head of the Kurosaki family."

"That wasn't any of your concern. What happens to my family is my responsibility," she reasoned, shifting her hands to her hips as she towered over him. But the action was silly; after all, who had ever heard of an emperor that was scared of one of his allies?

Standing to full height, Kikōō took in the unsatisfied countenance of his shinigami counterpart, picking her apart with his eyes alone. He acknowledged that the two of them were a young pair, one that needed more time to build trust in each other fully. And after a life of relying on herself and refusing to show who she was to anyone and everyone, Karin wasn't a proper candidate to bare her soul to him. But each day was one step closer, inching the lock open and finding that each second was worth the wait.

With that in mind, the fire spirit spoke in that dusky tone of his, all playfulness absent. "If it concerns you, Mistress, then it is most definitely my business. If any of them had hurt you, I would never forgive them, or myself."

Seeing the disturbed dimness that crossed over her eyes, he knew that it was likely the first time someone had said something so personal to her. The way her hands balled and the refusal to look at him directly murmured that she didn't know what to say, wasn't sure how to respond to such honesty. And Kikōō knew that there was still much for the royal to learn about herself, and even more about accepting others' goodwill.

"One day, Karin-sama, you will know what it's like to trust another so completely that you won't even realize you've given them every piece of yourself," the guardian lectured, moving to walk past her and down the steps of the cavernous room. With a smile, he continued until he reached the bottom. "Unlocking shikai was one step in that direction. At least, that it was I hoped to accomplish."

He didn't need to look at her to see her spin in place, her surprise chasing after him as he moved towards the center ground directly beneath the spotlight overhead. Instinctively, he knew she was thinking about that white-haired captain. Even without their shared spiritual connection he would've been able to sense it just from a cursory glance. When it came to weaknesses, Kurosaki Karin only had one exceptional flaw, after all.

She didn't move, only watched him from above with openness she wouldn't have given him before. "Why did you ask me to defeat him? Why would you ask me to challenge one of the few people in this world that I really care about?" A pause, as her courage expanded and logic took over. "Why did you substitute Taichou for you when there were so many others to choose from?"

He couldn't lie to her, never her. In the end, his reason was nothing if not simple, as well as a little bit cruel. "Because you love him."

"_What?_" The sharpness in her tone wasn't lost on him, as it brought an amused grin to his lips. Turning to face her, he stared up at his young friend, the betrayal in her eyes shining in those stormy sea-colored irises.

"I had you challenge him because you love him," Kikōō repeated, the words sounding vindictive even in his own ears. And although he had no intention for them to come out that way, it didn't take away the sting of what he meant.

"And what would that prove exactly? That I was willing to do anything to reach my goal?" Karin questioned, voice devastatingly soft but ripe with hidden fury that no longer suited her. Perhaps Kazuto would always be a safety blanket, one she could return to whenever she was threatened, but it was an outdated practice. If she wanted to be worthy of Kikōō and all his prowess, then he'd have to purify her of the farce she'd become accustomed to.

"Let me ask you something, Mistress," he began, pacing away as he tucked his hands behind him, "Do you know what's more difficult than defeating an opponent who's stronger, smarter and more experienced than you?"

The thoughtful silence filled with her anxiety, tension she'd been stewing in far too long the last couple of days. When her voice failed to fill the void, he took it as the confusion and contingency that it was. As he spun back towards her, he watched her face turn receptive towards him, an expression of deep interest and troubled thoughts. For someone who was used to having all the answers it must've been difficult to admit that she had no idea what to say to him.

"Shall I tell you?" he teased, smiling gleefully at the murderous intent that flashed back at him. It only served to make him chuckle, the brightness contrasting with the sage-like cover that ghosted over his soft features.

"The answer is defeating someone you love." Reading her stricken expression, Kikōō pressed on, stare falling to the floor in concentration. "By himself, Hitsugaya Toushirou is a force to be reckoned with, a man that you had no chance of defeating at your current level. But it was the fact that you could never willingly hurt him that I chose him as your last obstacle."

"But why?" she whispered, taken aback by the rationalization and all its complexities.

"Because I wanted you to realize what it feels like to put everything you have on the line to hurt the person you love most."

On the outside, he was as still as the surface of a koi pond, the surface tension intact and as pristine as a mirror. But inside his heart pounded, the one that had no true physical form as he was nothing that belonged in her world. Still, it didn't take away the sting of its pace or the flush of panic that raced through him. Karin was someone he wanted to guard just as much as he wanted to teach, even if his methods were less than ideal.

Her response was characteristic of her, even as it burned through him. "That's disgusting and crude and…" Karin trailed off, as she clenched her fists at her sides as she tried to rein in her temper. The trembling of the floor and the heating of the air said that she was failing miserably. "You don't hurt the ones you love, Kikōō. As far as I'm concerned there will never be a reason good enough to justify hurting my family and friends."

"That's the interesting thing about life and battles, Mistress. Just because you have your set-in-marble morals doesn't mean they apply to each and every situation." The swish of his red-gold robes swept as he stalked back towards the front of the stairs and approached her. "The world is full of every shade of gray, a place where there is oftentimes no winners and many losers. And those victories that are so coveted are always bathed in the blood of innocents."

"And what does hurting Taichou have to do with any of this?" she inquired, returning to the root of their conversation. "I'm not sure that having me cut through him would help me gain any more of his trust. And I'm fairly sure I've destroyed whatever I'd obtained by now."

_Ah, so sweetly naïve,_ the zanpakuto couldn't help but ponder, mouth curving upwards. However, his tone lacked his internal pleasure. "It was not _his_ trust you were trying to gain, Mistress, but your own."

Judging by the perplexed frown she shot him, he had no doubt as to what was running through her mind. "I… don't understand."

"You are a natural fighter, Mistress," he began, pinning her with his sapphire glare, "You are smart to the point of cunning and well-rounded on a physical level. On top of this, you are well trained, some would say to the point of perfection.

"What you lack, despite all of your strengths and abilities, is the confidence to let go of all those things and face the weaknesses you've kept buried for so long."

The clarity cut right through her, and suddenly it all made such perfect sense to Karin. Stripping down to her bare bones had been impossible for her entire life and hiding weakness had slowly become integrated with keeping her secret alive. There was no room for error and so she became a machine, letting others know she only had might that was unparalleled. By doing so, Karin had somehow managed to trick even herself into believing that she was untouchable, an untruth so powerful that it'd taken her caution to leave with it. In its place, it'd left an arrogance she hadn't known she was grasping onto so tightly.

"Though, I won't lie. There was another reason why I picked that boy." As Kikōō shrugged carelessly, her eyes snapped to him as he rolled his shoulders, his once demure disposition now faded. But his words hung in the area thickly, skirting alongside his lessons and admissions. And still the heiress was doing her best trying to take it all in.

She was almost afraid to ask. "And why is that?"

Because her voice was hesitant, it came out more as a mumble, so hushed that she was afraid he might not have heard it, as he continued to stroll about the home she'd created for him. Trust her partner to draw out her anxiousness even more, as he finally came to stop only to stare out into the edges of the never-ending hall.

"Because I wanted to see if I could trust him with you, to see if he could he bring himself to keep pushing you towards greatness, even if it meant going against that oath he'd already made." A tiny chuckle escaped his throat, as he folded his arms over his chest. His last words, however, were safely locked inside his mind, tucked away to protect his master from a realization that would only cause her pain.

_I wanted to see what he'd feel for you if he ever failed in that duty. What I never expected was to see such anguish on his face… Nor the beginnings of something neither of you are ready for._

* * *

><p>Sitting across from Byakuya felt like being examined by a thousand councilmen and women, letting them appraise her as if her worth could be seen in her body language alone. He'd always known her best, seeing her for what she was and not what she'd convinced herself to be. Not so long ago she might've even considered him her best friend, someone she went to when she needed solace.<p>

However, the dynamics had changed drastically in less than two days and Karin knew she'd never be able to look at him the same way. As she met his dark gaze, she wondered if she'd ever feel like his equal again. Being his fiancé now she'd answer to him and him only. Just the thought made her stomach turn into knots.

He spoke first. "You will leave on the morn."

"You're sending me away?" she shot back, incredulous as her eyes went wide. Her disbelief licked at wounds that had yet to close, becoming perfidy that built up her shame. But it wasn't enough to stop the rumble of fury that stoked her need to confront him. "You saved me only to get rid of me later, is that right? I'm not something to be swept under the rug, Byakuya-nii-san."

"I'm guessing Hitsugaya-taichou never told you," Byakuya interrupted, switching topics as if the flow made perfect sense. The mix of astonishment and discomfort he got in return only had him raising a brow, the behavior uncharacteristic for his formal pupil. "When you achieved _shikai_, we were going to send you out with a reconnaissance team in the World of the Living."

Her expression only grew more bemused. "I didn't hear anything about that. But even if I had, I'd like to think that I would've been included in such a conversation." How she managed to look stalwart despite her rising annoyance was impressive even to her, as the other closed his eyes in contemplation.

"There's a war approaching, one that has been in hibernation for a very long time," he explained carefully, clearly. Although she'd heard bits and pieces from the air, rumors that were more fiction than fact, this was the first time anyone had ever addressed it with her personally. "And the man that leads the enemy army is the one who took the lives of both your brother and father."

Sucking in a breath, Karin nearly choked on the oxygen as it got caught in her trachea. And suddenly it was all coming at her so fast, to the point where she wasn't sure she could handle it. But her curiosity won over her shock, as she let him continue with a nod of her head.

"In Hueco Mundo, a former member of the _Gotei_ Thirteen named Aizen Sousuke has been gaining strength and gathering his forces. His objective is to open the portal that belongs solely to the Spirit King and kill him. To do that, Aizen will attempt to open the _Oken_, a gate specifically made to house the Spirit King's dimension. To do so, he will destroy a city called Karakura and if he succeeds, then there will be no chance for any of the three dimensions to piece themselves back together again afterwards."

As the truth came to light, her voice was steady with understanding. "You want me to fight."

"No," the Kuchiki head murmured, eyes still averted elsewhere. But then they came back to hers and somehow she knew even before he finished his sentence. "_You_ want to fight."

From the start of her lessons, Karin had been taught that revenge for the sake of revenge was pitiful, and that honor and life were the only things worth dying for. However, she'd never thought she'd experience firsthand how true those words were, as she met him with composure that she'd never had before. The sureness she had as Kazuto was dead now, but she was finding that from its demise came a comforting sort of vigor she didn't know she owned.

It was that authority that made her agree to his instructions, the readiness to improve herself palpable and heady. It'd been a long time since she'd felt such pure intoxication, as she'd never allowed herself the luxury when she was constantly on-guard. But with this one decision made, she was finding that there were many more difficulties that had yet to find a conclusion. With a derisive glower, Karin gathered her wits as she breached the topic they had deliberately avoided until now.

"And what happens after the war, Byakuya-nii-san?" She paused, searching for the right way to put it. "If—no, _when_ we survive this, what will happen to us, to our engagement? After your late wife, we both knew what your plans were."

Back when she was a child, Karin had been rather insensitive and tactless, turning to her master one day and asking him about the picture of the woman who 'was Rukia-nee-chan but not.' At that stage of maturity, his words didn't make complete sense to her and all she understood was that she was his wife long ago and that he'd never take another.

It was only later did she appreciate what he meant in full. He planned to relinquish his position to a distant relative, someone with lesser noble blood but someone he could mold. He'd have no children as far as he was concerned, and his stubbornness had brought the main house family much strife over the decades.

But Karin knew him well, knew he'd stick to the plan he'd decided for himself even if it killed him. But with her throwing a metaphorical wrench in the machines, the guilt at his sacrifice resurfaced in her. There was no one he loved as much as Hisana and he'd refused any woman since. The thought that he'd have to betray his first love for Karin's sake caused the back of her eyes to sting, cursing her own folly. The one man in her life that had always been there and she was the one tearing apart the foundation he'd worked so hard to establish.

Karin wasn't sure if he'd ever forgive her. More than that, she wasn't sure if she wanted him to.

His answer was sharp, derisive, cutting their conversation off completely as he stood to exit. "We will cross that hurdle once we get there." Turning away, she watched his shadow move towards the moonlight-lit door. She waited for him to leave so she could gather her thoughts a little better before returning to her new room in the Kuchiki Mansion, a tradition for any bride to the clan leader.

"Get some rest. Good night, Karin." With the stumble of her name from his lips, she realized that it was the first time he'd ever called out to her like that. She knew that it wasn't any sign of relief or redemption, but she hadn't apprehended how important to her his acceptance was. By having him recognize her and not who she had been for so long made her heart lighter, more hopeful for whatever else was bound to come.

"Good night… Byakuya-nii-san."

She didn't linger long after he left, instead going to her room to try and better accustom herself to the new surroundings. All she could think was that it was certainly more feminine than her old quarters, fitted with a vanity to hold perfume and cosmetics and decorated with aesthetically pleasing pieces. She was used to rather empty spaces, fewer cabinets and more areas to tread freely. Kazuto had no room in his life for clutter or beauty. On this aspect, Karin and him shared similar tastes as she made a mental note to get rid of all the excess before she returned from her expedition.

It was interesting how the idea of leaving didn't hit her now, not like all the other judgments that had been passed on her life in the last forty-eight hours. Perhaps because this one was mild in comparison, welcomed even. With all eyes on her, Karin was beginning to feel like she was living under a microscope and coming to register that she truly knew nothing, in spite of all her education. Sometimes, one needed life to knock on one's door and show them a thing or two.

At the sound of tapping against her own, Karin started at the noise, still wondering how much much of her destiny was out of her control. Because when she slid it open, somehow she never imagined to find _him_ on the other side.

"Taichou…" she spoke unthinkingly, arm falling to her side as she assessed Hitsugaya for the first time in what felt like centuries. But it was only a week ago when she'd last saw him, fought him, had him learn the truth about her. It was that last notion that had ice water shooting down her spine, as she took in the cold, shielded scowl he wore.

His words cut almost as much. "I'm no longer your captain, Kurosaki. You've achieved _shikai_, have you not?"

"If you know that already, then why are you here?" Her response was just as harsh, her need to retaliate strong against the offensive front he was putting up. And the sensation that all their progress until this point had been for naught filled the Kurosaki, as she glared up at him, refusing to back down.

"… I don't know." It was truly something else, how with three little words Toushirou brought them back right where they where they started a year ago, tentative steps and all. But this time around, Karin had nothing to hide or hold back. And if this was going to be the last conversation they'd have for a long while, then she was going to leave a lasting impression on him.

"That's not a good enough answer. If you have no business with me, then you need to leave. You're on private property," she threatened, knowing she didn't mean a word of it. If she had her way, she'd stay by his side if he let her, learn from him and regain the faith she'd lost. But she'd never put the idea into words because they were things he'd never ask her to say.

"You're leaving tomorrow," Toushirou stated, trying again to lead towards a conclusion that neither of them knew how to get to.

"Yes, it seems I am. Though I hadn't known about it until earlier tonight. I suppose I have you to thank for that."

His next sentence was thoughtless and more than a little hurtful. "It's good that you're leaving."

She didn't want to hear that, especially not from him. "Get out." Although she knew that going to the Living World was the right thing, to have him sound relieved that she was escaping from Soul Society had heartache slipping into the cracks of her armor. She should've known better than to think he came to say goodbye. It'd been his plan to send her away since the beginning.

Moving to slam the door shut so as to alert a guardsman, Karin was finding that her emotions were too close to the surface, making her body weak. They slowed her reflexes down, as Hitsugaya pushed himself in and closed the door himself, barely a wisp of sound as it shuttered into place. But even though he was in her domain, the place that should've been hers to protect and control, he managed to fill the room and make it feel like she was encroaching on his territory. The niggling sensation in the back of her mind had her drawing deeper into the room, keeping the gap between them.

In the end, it was Toushirou who broke the stalemate. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"Then, please, feel free to clarify. It isn't as if I have a choice in the matter now that you've let yourself in," she mocked, standing straighter as she watched him take a few steps forward. Not enough to clear the distance but enough to state that he was serious.

"I meant that you need to leave not just for others, but for yourself as well," Toushirou began, his countenance softening a bit to add sincerity to his words. And for a moment she remembered that the reason she was here, alive and well, was because he'd given her the second chance that allowed her to be. "Time will help everyone forget the scandal. Not immediately of course, but they will recognize you for who you are instead of what you've done if you go. Allow them to work the anger out of their systems and they will approve of you as long as you keep working."

"And what about me? Why is it good for me that I leave?" _Please don't say it's because you want me to._

"Because…" He struggled with himself then, clambering through his mind for intentions he wasn't capable of voicing properly. "Because you're strong, Kurosaki."

A bark of laughter left her lips then, more confused than humorous. It wasn't the reaction he was expecting, but it wasn't the worst one either. "And…?"

"You will get stronger from here, stronger than most, and while I can tell you that six months isn't enough to wholly achieve the fullness of your power you will be an asset in the long run. There's nothing more for you here. We'd only hold you back." In the back of her mind, Karin was almost sure she heard 'I' in that last sentence, as she observed him a little longer.

But although there was so much left to say, their time had disappeared again, eaten up by indecision that was still insurmountable. When Toushirou moved to exit, preparing no words of farewell or well wishes, Karin was beginning to get that it wasn't just about what he had to say. There was no reason for her to stay silent and wait anymore, not now when she was finally owning up to her own personality. Regardless of whatever happened in the past, they'd never be able to go back to that old friendship.

But maybe they could build something completely new, a relationship without the smoke and mirrors and lies. At the very least, she had to try, even if it was a one-sided effort. She owed Hitsugaya that much, craved for some semblance of his forgiveness, as selfish as it was. So when Karin spoke, what she said was no light manner, an assurance even she wasn't sure she could fulfill.

"When I get back before winter comes, I'll achieve _bankai_, Hitsugaya-taichou," she declared, using his name as she no longer had the right to call him out like she used to, so familiarly and informal despite his title. "When I do, please do me the honor of fighting with me again. I want you to be the first to see it."

"It takes decades to develop a connection that strong with one's zanpakuto and to fully mature your _bankai_. Even I'm still mastering mine and I've had much more time," he answered back, not an actual scoff but his incredulity was certain. He didn't doubt her determination, he doubted her capacity to facilitate such a huge undertaking on such a small timetable.

Not that his doubts could stop a Kurosaki from their goal. "Time is overrated. I've built up an entire life in nearly sixty years and it all came crashing down in one day," Karin rebutted, sounding strangely wise even to her companion. "So don't count me out just yet, Hitsugaya-taichou. I'll be a different person when I get back. I'll become someone who you'll be proud to call your former student."

"I'm already proud, Kurosaki." The sentiment spilled faster than his filter could catch it, stunning them both by the little truth. But it was hopeless to take it back, he told himself, knowing it would only come out as an argument that he didn't want to have. For now the notion was hers to keep, as he made his way to the door in shuffling steps, slow as if waiting for her to stop him.

The wave of disappointment when she didn't had him tighten the muscles in his shoulders, angry at his own expectations. But Toushirou could feel her eyes on him, those orbs that could see right through him if he let his guard down. That omniscience of hers hadn't changed and somehow he was glad for it, finding something he'd always associated with her as he latched onto its familiarity. Even if she didn't come back as strong as she claimed to, he was going to be glad when she came back, safe and sound.

But, Toushirou decided as he left her behind and entered the warm summer night, that was one truth he wouldn't give up to her so easily.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: Yes, we're in the middle of war, everyone! I feel like a lot of people forgot about the Winter War but that's normal considering the events that led up to this chapter. But this story has elements of canon carefully integrated so while I might not be rewriting Bleach I am certainly using a few of its biggest scenes as needed.

Also, I'm not sure if everyone understands why Kikōō chose Hitsugaya, even though I think I explained it a little better here. I'm a read-between-the-lines-and-interpret-it-yourself kind of girl so if you have any questions let me know. There is no right or wrong answer but I know some people were confused in the previous chapters. :)

I look forward to your comments so leave one down below, please! Your guys' comments are the elixir that keeps this sad muse of mine alive. Haha. :D

Until next time, everyone~


	15. Chapter Fourteen: Time and Strangers

**AN**: This fic lives! Finally got this done after my month-long hiatus during March. I had exams for three weeks and when I got out of school I was gone for the first week of April on a family vacation. I was able to write a whole bunch of oneshots but nothing for this baby because this thing requires a lot of attention. Haha. But that's okay now and I'm on break so I should be writing more (or not, depending on if my friends are free and I decide to go outside and have a real life for a while, LOL). Anyway, enough chitter-chatter! Onto the story~

_Thank you's for the last chapter_:

**Memme**: No, it's totally okay to root for ByaRin! I ship Karin with lots of people and it's really apparent in my story, even though I consider HitsuKarin my OTP. Don't know why but I just think they'd be amazing together~ But I'm kinda proud of myself for making you question your ship. ;D I'm really glad you're enjoying the story so thank you for reviewing! I hope you like the chapter too. Sorry it took so long. T.T

**D**: I'm sorry this chapter took so long. :( I love Kikōō. I think he loves her and loves to annoy her. That's true friendship right there. Haha! I feel like a state of crisis is more important than cementing Karin and Byakuya together so yes, no marriage as of now. Karin is actually in some strange in-between. She's unofficially out of the Academy and is watched by the Tenth but she's not a full-fledged shinigami. It's a gray area I made just for her so I hope that makes sense. I try not to start anything without the ending in mind. I feel like if you have no destination to end up at then the story suffers and that's a shame. Thank you for your sweet review. :DDDD

**Black Rose**: I'm glad to know I bring both pain and pleasure to the HitsuKarin fandom. It's my job. ;) I love writing Byakuya because he's a beautiful character and isn't used enough. I adore him so I write him with a lot of care. Kikōō is someone that walks a very thin line. He doesn't give you anything for free and he tries to make things difficult. In general, he's just a difficult character, I guess. As for Karin and Toushirou's relationship, it's at a hard place to be in right now. A friendship built on lies but with mutual understand and a million different layers to it. It drives you a little crazy how much you love them but know that they're not at a good place nor is it a good time to try and work it out. I will continue to bring you as much ambivalence as I can so thank you sooo much for your review and please enjoy the chapter!

**Kuschkova**: Thank you! It was nice being able to write them without all the subterfuge, even if it was a bit sad. I hope you enjoy this chapter too!

**nureen**: Thank you~ It was one of the more difficult chapters to write because it was emotion and setting things up rather than letting things just happne to them. I hope that you'll enjoy this next chapter too~

**Liliv00**: I'm sorry this was so late! TT^TT But I hope that you enjoy it anyway. There are a few things I tossed in there to make you guys think a little.

**Mi-chan**: You will have to read and find out, my friend. :) So, go on! Let me know what you think. Haha.

**Aoi. Kunieda-Karin. Kurosaki**: It was a bit sad but it's for the best. There's always got to be a greater good. I'll let you see it for yourself. :D

_Warnings_: Umm, are feelings worth noting about? :/

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Fourteen: Time and Strangers<em>

Occupied at his desk, Hitsugaya was sifting through the reports his squad members had submitted earlier that day. From dealings in the lawless Eightieth district to occurrences in the wild areas encroached with Hollows, his hands were full and with a lieutenant who skipped out on work far too much, there was nowhere else for it to go.

Sighing, the young captain let his thoughts wander aimlessly, muscle memory taking over his duties. But how his mind worked he'd never know, because suddenly it was moving into uncharted territory, onto thoughts he physically had to stop himself from having about dark eyes and coaxingly full lips. As he fought off the intrusions, Toushirou was coming to learn that the more he held the traitorous ideas at bay the stronger they came back. But he refused to acknowledge that it was because, over the last three months, his office had started to feel large and empty.

Scoffing at his own melancholy, Hitsugaya knew he wouldn't shake it off so easily. But he didn't want to mope or wonder or question himself, not when there were more important things to do. Personal feelings clouded judgment and he couldn't afford to have his messed with, not now. Old plots were starting to come to light, plans Aizen had kept buried longer than he'd even been alive. There were no other options left than to settle this with that madman locked in chains or with his head severed from the rest of him.

"Oi, Taichou, what're you still doing here?" Matsumoto asked after sliding the door open, a surprised frown turned on him. "The captain's meeting is starting soon and you're never late." Taking in the queer expression on his usually untouched face, the curve of her mouth deepened. "Are you alright? Should I tell them you won't be attending today?"

"That's hardly necessary," Toushirou huffed, standing with as much grace as he could. He tried to hide that he'd been feeling out of it as of late, but it must've been more apparent than he thought. His vice captain followed his exit with concerned eyes, filled with mothering he wanted to wipe from her face. He was too old and respected to need hers or anyone else's coddling.

When he arrived, nothing had started but he couldn't ignore the stares. He was uncommonly tardy, for him at least, and that earned more than its share of obtrusive interest. A part of him was tempted to say something but he knew better than to try. They might all share the same rank but they were captains long before he'd joined Shino Academy, and he respected them enough to know when to use discretion.

Their meeting finally began when the last entered, Kenpachi-taichou dragging his feet as always. There wasn't much he was required to do for his division other than attend these meetings so he did so with as little complaint as could be expected. However, the snarl on his gnarly face screamed his unwillingness, grunting his salutations to their leader but little else.

Yamamoto-soutaichou sat at the head of the room, visibly wizened but deceptively so. The run-down began as it usually did, the most bureaucratic work first. Uninteresting things like accounting and resource management held little importance to them as warriors but were vastly important in maintaining the infrastructure of the _Gotei_ Thirteen. But while some managed to keep the boredom off their faces, others were much more obvious, mouths opened in yawns while glazed eyes stared into nothing.

"I think that about covers the updates on this year's graduates," Ukitake smiled serenely, as everyone around him breathed silent sighs of relief. Even with his infinite patience, the sickly captain turned more serious as the true purpose for convening began.

Sharpening his slanted gaze, the _soutaichou_ clapped his cane against the ground with authority. "I'd like to hear the plans you've finalized for this coming winter. We've agreed to divide you and your lieutenants evenly between Karakura and Hueco Mundo. What are your final arrangements?"

As Soi Fong-taichou broke down the list, Hitsugaya watched the expressions of his fellow commanders, gauging their reactions. He wasn't surprised to see the maniacal glee that rode Mayuri hard, his mind obviously on the new data he would gain and the experiments he'd be able to run on whatever he managed to keep as a war trophy. On the other hand, Ukitake's features had morphed into solemnity, brows furrowed as if thinking of the impending carnage.

Kyouraku and Byakuya shared a similar apathy, though it was all for show. No one in the room was looking forward to what awaited them in the other dimensions, no one except Kenpachi. The pirate-looking giant had a murderous smile that cracked his otherwise uncaring face, licking his lips in anticipation. Beside him was Unohana without her serene mask, and on his other side was Komamura, grave in the face of impending battle.

"And what of your squads? Do any dare to venture into war alongside us?" The grizzly bass of their captain commander chaffed their senses, his eyes darting from one face to the next. But none could say anything worthwhile.

"While the offer has been made, very few have stepped forward to enter Hueco Mundo or go to the World of the Living," Kyouraki explained, head tilted in respect. He shifted to his normal bright tone, unfitting for the formal air as he continued with a smile. "Not that I can blame any of them. Following any of us into battle is pretty much the same as putting your life on a platter and handing it to Aizen himself."

"It's true. There aren't a substantial number within the Divisions with a fully recognized _shikai_, let alone the ability to go up against an Espada or captain-level shinigami," Unohana ventured forward, a frown marring her otherwise calm features. "If we cannot handle them then there is no way any of our subordinates would last out there."

"Good. All the more fightin' for me then," Kenpachi chuckled darkly, earning black glares from both Hitsugaya and Byakuya. But where the former was able to bite his tongue and let it be, Kuchiki entered the conversation to steer it back towards the matter at hand.

"The lieutenants are training as we speak. They will be more than adequate in a fight against the Fraccion but will most likely flounder against anything stronger," he summarized, watching as the old man's gaze fell on his form.

Stilling for a moment, the _soutaichou_ considered him carefully before speaking again. "And what of Kurosaki Karin? Will she be ready to go into battle with us?"

The word 'no' came so quickly to Toushirou's lips that he had to bite his own tongue to stop from saying it. With the look of veiled discomfort on his features, it seemed Byakuya was sharing in his dilemma. But the room was aware of her steady progress, and many had shared in private conversations about the most interesting shinigami to come out of Shino Academy since Hitsugaya himself.

Behind closed doors and held-up hands, opinions differed greatly between the captains. Where Soi Fong was quick to dismiss her strength, citing great talent didn't make up for even greater inexperience, Kyouraku contested that she had promise and motivation. A fighter with even that much was more of an asset than a hundred unwilling ones, he'd said pragmatically.

Others reserved judgment, wanting to see her complete her training before making an assessment, and the rest drifted amongst the different verdicts but never completely settled on one. In the end, it was only Byakuya and Toushirou who kept their thoughts private, refusing to give their stances away. And while he couldn't speak for the Kuchiki head, Toushirou knew where his loyalties regarding Karin lied. He had a feeling that the Kurosaki wouldn't like them, however.

"We've decided to let her make that choice after she's returned from her reconnaissance mission," Ukitake said gently, brows pulled together. "Her progress has been steady, according to their leader, but we can't guarantee anything based on another's perception."

"Yes, it would be far better to see such a specimen in action, wouldn't it?" Mayuri drawled, eyes turning crescent along with his grin. The icy glare Hitsugaya shot him went unanswered.

"It would also be in our best interest to have her decide whether or not she can even enter battle, mentally and emotionally," Unohana chimed in, ever the voice of reason. "Defeating a few Hollows is hard enough on a new soldier but what we're asking of her is above and beyond the normal. Even if she is physically ready there are other things that we must look at."

Her plea was offset by the last person anyone expected, his booming voice eating up all the doubts in the air. "I'm tellin' ya, she'll be rarin' to go. I mean, she's a Kurosaki," Kenpachi smirked, seemingly having it all figured out. "Got more than a little of her brother in her and I'll be damned if she ain't someone worth bringin' onto the battlefield. She'll go to war, I can feel it. If not for herself, then to avenge her family."

It took a moment for Toushirou to realize his hands had balled, physically holding onto an outburst that he desperately wanted to voice. That those concerns shouldn't be her top priority, that she should be thinking of her welfare, that he'd never let her go if she wasn't anything less than prepared. But those arguments died when Yamamoto-soutaichou turned to Byakuya, eyes opening slowly.

"And what do you think, Kuchiki-taichou? From your experience, is she strong enough to join us? Will she even want to?"

To his credit, there was no hesitation in Byakuya's tone. "Kurosaki has been training her whole life for this," he said softly, refusing to give his own opinion on the matter. "Regardless if she has achieved all the things we demand of her, she will follow. It is about retribution for her clan and justification for her existence."

Hearing the comprehension with which he spoke, the absolute clarity he had of his ward, stole away the air in Hitsugaya's lungs, as the meeting was adjourned soon after with a final thump of Yamamoto's cane. The shuffling of steps couldn't trigger him to follow, only the blur of a specific form heading on his way. Catching up with the Kuchiki leader, Toushirou stopped him in a deserted hall, away from the prying eyes and ears of their peers.

"Do you really believe she's ready?" Hitsugaya asked, a scowl darkening his fairness. The onceover Byakuya did gave nothing away, as he sized up the younger man's intentions.

"As I said before, she will go whether or not she is prepared to. Karin will meet Aizen in three months time and she will do what she believes is best."

"You can't just let her go out there. She could be killed." The slight break in his voice didn't go unnoticed, as Toushirou cringed at the storm of emotions inside him. His companion, however, didn't budge in the slightest.

"We could all be killed, Hitsugaya-taichou, it is the way we live our lives. But we are no good to this world if all we do is fear for that end and do nothing to avert it."

"I promised myself that I would protect her," he nearly yelled, words slipping out with easiness that scared him. "When her older brother died, I swore that the same wouldn't happen to Karin. Just because she was masquerading as a boy then doesn't mean I can take back those words."

"Then let me ask you this," Byakuya began, narrowing charcoal irises with haughtiness that made Toushirou's skin prickle. "Are you doing this because you feel that you owe her something? Because if you are, then I'll explain it to you again. Karin doesn't grow from coddling and false reassurances, but failure. She learns and adapts because that is all she knows how to do, and by preventing her from doing so you are hindering her from being as strong as I know she is."

But the other captain was far from done, as he took a few steps forward and directed a sneer at his lighter counterpart. His voice was even crueler, reflecting back an odd softness he held for the girl he'd raised. "But if there are other feelings that are influencing your decisions, feelings that do not belong in the midst of battle, then it'd be best for you to settle them now. Because when she returns, Karin will choose her path and you will be forced to decide if you can follow her down it, even if it leads to her death."

With nothing more to say, he disappeared where he stood, leaving a half-stunned Toushirou in his wake.

* * *

><p><em>So… this is where the world is supposed to end.<em>

With the horizon lined by human skyscrapers and filled in by passing cars, Karin took in the otherwise quiet city with little interest. There was no emotion or attachment to it or anyone in it, though she'd been stationed in Karakura for nearly a month. However, she was being transferred to a new area soon enough, one more place to help hone her unyielding _shikai_. Her hand moved to her left hip in a comforting motion only to meet empty air.

Grumbling, she looked down at the _gigai_ she'd been given, dressed in clothes she thought were strange but more forgiving than her usual wear. Jeans were an odd concept, but she had more than a passing interest in these so-called baseball caps. She was wearing one as she made her way down the stretch of cement road, not looking or waiting for anything in particular. It would be a quiet day for the most part, she could feel it, as she trudged down a grassy incline with nowhere to be.

As she walked along the river's edge, Karin came to a stop when the air behind her shifted, the hum of something cutting through the soft wind. Her body reacted with a graceful sidestep before reaching out to grab the offending object. The feel of synthetic leather hit her skin, as a slight sting invaded her senses and for a moment Karin was impressed. Whoever had been using this human toy was far stronger than normal, she surmised.

The tapping of steps came up behind her. "Hey, sorry about that. I sort of lost control of my ball."

She didn't say anything as she turned towards the masculine voice, eyes darting up at a young adult. He couldn't be older than his early twenties and stood tall for a man of Japanese descent. Or maybe he was half because that bright orange hair didn't quite match his hazel eyes, as a thoughtful frown fitted onto his features.

He was handsome, Karin had to admit. And for a moment she wondered if her brother would've looked like this man if he had still been around, same unusual color and all. But she was being ridiculous. This boy had no more power than the other humans wandering about, as she eyed him up and down with interest. The soft scowl on him deepened, as light brown sparkled impatiently at her.

After months of no one telling her how to behave, Karin's snark was in top form. "Aren't you a little old to be running around in the middle of the day?"

"Hey kid, I'm not asking why you're here playing hooky rather than being in school," the stranger snorted, shifting his arms over his front. She was surprised by his temperament, as she'd guessed that he was the type to lose control of himself easily but hadn't. And for some reason she had the strangest feeling that she could like this man, whoever he was.

Not that that held any importance. "I'm not a kid," Karin sighed, tossing him the foreign black-and-white sphere. He caught it easily enough but his eyes never strayed from her, breaking her down to pieces that only he seemed to know how to process.

_He has old eyes_, she couldn't help but think, as she watched him with equal wariness. They were the kind that older souls had, the ones who'd seen destruction and death by the time they'd passed on. But she didn't understand why he would carry such a burden, because no matter how she looked at him there was nothing special about him, right down to the careful fluctuations of his _reiatsu_.

His voice caught her off-guard. "No, I don't think you are," he said, smiling as if he knew more than she did. The snort came out before she could stop it, her glare darkening at his amusement.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," he chuckled, tossing the ball back and forth between his hands. The words sounded eerily like ones she would say. "I said I agree with you. I don't think you're a kid at all."

"Oh really? Then what am I?" Karin challenged, taking a few deliberate steps forward, but he didn't respond the way she wanted him to. Where another would show annoyance or condescension, this man was all cool observation, as if he knew all that he needed to without her saying. And she had to admit that it'd been a long time since someone had treated her as carelessly as he did, unlike her teammates who still saw her as the noble she pretended she wasn't and the gossip-fodder she hated being.

It made Karin like him more, even if only a little.

He shrugged then, grinning boyishly at her. She had no doubt any other female would've simpered at such a look but she didn't. There were a few reasons, the most important one residing in another dimension, but there were others as well. She couldn't put her finger on it, but there was almost something wrong in thinking he was anything other than charming.

"Tell you what," the man began, a light taunt coloring his words, "I'll let you know exactly what I think you are if you play a game of soccer with me."

"What's that?" Her curiosity was faster than her common sense. What she should've said was that she was busy, that she had a job to do and none of it required him. Instead her eyes settled on the unfamiliar ball, going between it and its owner's smug smirk.

"A game where we kick around this ball and try to get it into each other's goals," he explained, nodding over to the dirt field she hadn't given a second glance. "You can't touch the ball with your hands and if you kick it out of bounds then it's my ball. Got it?"

"Wait, so what're we playing for exactly?" she asked, chasing after him in spite of her own warnings, as he crossed the grass and strolled over to one of the goals. "If I win, you'll tell me what you think I am. And if you win…?"

The silence stretched between them, as he contemplated his options. But whatever favor Karin thought he might ask for was entirely different from his answer, and far from anything she was expecting. "Then you gotta answer a question about a friend of mine. I feel like you'll know more than I do."

It took a second for the words to sink in, but when it did her breath tangled itself in her throat. She was educated enough to grasp that there were humans who might know shinigami existed, special hi-spec mediums with good vision and high sensitivity. The connection made her wonder if he'd planned to call her out the moment he saw her, using their so-called accidental meeting as a ploy to get her attention. But she wasn't fully sure of herself, still so new to humans and their behavior. So all Karin did was nod as she made her way onto the playing field, determined to find a few answers to her questions.

But what she thought would be an easy win was anything but. Her opponent was just as agile as she was, faking left and dodging right with feline grace she was almost jealous of. Coupled with the fact that it was a game of skill rather than strength, Karin was forced to learn along the way. She taught herself to dribble as she ran, to steal from him despite his much longer legs, and score a goal—after a few embarrassing attempts that he'd laughed endlessly at.

Somewhere between figuring out the rules and scoring her eighth point to his tenth, Karin forgot the reasons they were competing for. Instead her mind recalled glimpses of a game like this back in her own home, played by the children of her staff. While she never showed outright fascination, there was always that voice in her head that wanted in on their fun, make friends when others told her her she had greater priorities and responsibilities to undertake. It was the childish one she kept tucked in the confines of her mind, the one that cried when she hurt herself and babbled incessantly while her lips sealed shut.

That being here and kicking around an ordinary ball with a man she knew nothing about could resurrect that part of her was a little terrifying, but also freeing. It was as if a piece of her childhood had collapsed into her hands, warm and reassuring where it had once been cold and desolate. It was being filled with the smell of dirt and fresh grass, the sound of her own curses and his awkward but honest laughter, and the feeling of déjà vu whenever her eyes locked with his.

Was it possible to feel like you knew someone you'd never met before?

By the end of it, their match finished in his favor and Karin could only swear in defeat, panting as she planted her hands on her knees and attempted to breathe for a second. The fact that he was lying on the floor as he cooled off didn't make her feel any better, as she soon collapsed next to him and took another gulp of air. The sun was falling now, with the sky beginning to ripen.

Peeking one open eye at her, the carrot top grinned big. "I'm still taking you up on our bet."

"It's a stupid one considering I already figured out what you were gonna tell me," Karin grumbled, leaning back on her arms as she sat, flicking some sweat-soaked hair out of her eyes.

"Doesn't mean I'm not gonna hold you to it." He got up, sitting cross-legged and leaning forward on his knees. "How'd you figure that out anyway?"

"'Cuz I'm a genius of course. I figured it out before we even started the game." Modesty had never really suited her even when she masqueraded as Kazuto. However, using her own voice as freely as she did now she wondered if he would think she was as arrogant as she sounded.

"And you didn't bother to change the stakes? _Pfft_. Some genius you are," he grinned easily, not stopping even when she threw a dirt clod at him. It disintegrated when it hit his shoulder but he didn't retaliate, only raised a brow at the act.

"Shut up. I'll have you know I'm pretty intelligent and a lot stronger than I look," she scowled, messing with a rock under her fingertips.

"That's usually how it works with shinigami. Physicality doesn't mean a thing."

"Yeah, you're right." Having her suspicions answered, it did little to sate whatever curiosity she had. In truth it did the exact opposite, sprouting up questions Karin wasn't sure he'd answer. "How do you know about shinigami anyway? It's not common knowledge as far as I know, and you seem pretty well-informed. Why is that?"

"Hey, I'm the one that won the soccer game. You're the one who's gotta answer my questions." The change in subject was rough, so unlike the delicate leading the she was used to hearing from politicians' mouths. And once again she was finding herself at ease in this man's presence, as she rolled her eyes but gave into his demands.

"Alright but I'm warning you now, I don't know everything about being a shinigami. I just got here, y'know. I'm a bit of a newbie."

She watched as his countenance shifted, taking on an uncertain glow that didn't match up with the confidence he'd been throwing at her all day. Opening her mouth, he beat her to it, face turned as if embarrassed by what he was going to say. Karin was sure that she'd never been so intrigued and irritated by one person in her life.

She listened to the other with purpose. "Actually, I wanted to ask you about someone I knew a long time ago…" Voice oddly soft, Karin saw how the color of his eyes changed, a mixture of nostalgia and old regrets turning them lighter. And it hit her again just how old he was beneath the surface, not apparent in his skin or body but that wayward soul locked inside. "It's a long shot and you most likely won't know her. I mean, you'll probably know _of_ her because she's kinda hard to miss and, well, I- This is crazy! Why am I even doing this?"

"Look, I don't have all day. Either spit it out or I'm walking out." That was a lie but Karin knew he'd never see through her bluff. The blundering speech piqued her interest in this mysterious woman, as she leaned forward expectantly. That he'd lost control of himself for the first time all day made her almost anxious.

Luckily, her new friend wasn't the kind that did lengthy silences. "I want to ask about a girl that I knew."

"I don't know if I'll be able to tell you anything but I can try." Karin didn't say that she doubted her ability to pinpoint anyone in a place as vast as Soul Society. If it was another shinigami, there was a chance she'd know her if she was in the Tenth or a ranked officer. But if he was asking about a Plus, a lover or relative, then there was most likely no hope. But in all her years, Karin never expected him to ask her this.

"Do you know a woman named Kuchiki Rukia?"

The question entered one ear and bounced around her cranium, setting off warning signals that she hadn't been expecting. Her shock must've been apparent because he looked contrite for an instant, as if sorry he'd offended her. But she wasn't upset, she was protective. Rukia-nee-chan was a good soldier, one that knew the rules almost as well as her older brother. How she got to know some random boy in another drop-in-the-bucket city screamed afoul to her.

The astonishment quickly melted into bemusement and finally doubt. "How do you know Rukia-nee-chan?"

"'Nee-chan'? Did Byakuya get married?" he inquired, brow furrowing into downright confusion. The fact that he knew so much about her friend made the hairs on her arms stand, a feeling of defensiveness consuming her.

"How did you know she has an older brother? And you should call him 'Kuchiki-san' or something more formal. He hates it when someone calls him by his first name." _That's why I'm the only one who does it._ But that was a right earned, not given.

"A-ah… I guess you're right…" He stuttered, trying to catch his bearings.

"How did you meet her? Why do you know Rukia-nee-chan?"

"I met her, a long time ago," he repeated, shrugging helplessly. And while there was no deception in his manner, she knew it wasn't fully truthful either. But the stranger before her held his secrets tight, as he leveled a hard, almost demanding stare. "Can you tell me how she's doing?"

A part of her didn't want to, wanted to bite down on her tongue until it bled and she'd be forced to say null. But the more she analyzed him, the weariness in his frown and the clenching and unclenching of his fists, the more she wanted to tell him everything. Because even if he wasn't completely honest, his body spoke far louder than his words.

"She's in the Thirteenth Division, an unranked member," Karin began slowly, wading into the shallow end of the pool. When his eyes snapped to her, she understood just how much her words meant to him. "She's strong, good enough to be seated but her brother doesn't want her anywhere near battle. Personally I think he babies her." She paused, staring down at her dirt-covered fingers.

He chuckled then, falling back into his light and easy nature. "Then she's doing okay... That's all I needed to hear."

She tilted her head up then, about to ask him the millions of questions that tugged at her tongue but swallowed them along with her gasp when she got a good look at him. Karin didn't know much about men, despite the fact that she'd acted as one for a long time. Or at least, not enough to understand their many complexities. In the past few hours, she'd become used to his cutting remarks and blunt inclination but not this. There was nothing that could prepare her for that far-off, grateful smile, as if he'd just received a parcel he'd been waiting forever for.

Men, her mother said to her once as a child, are mysterious creatures. They strived to be hard and unmoving because that was what masculinity dictated, that they hide their feelings in order to be taken seriously. But the minute one went soft it usually meant something—or _someone_—very special had happened to them and they were changed because of it. At the time, Karin hadn't comprehended the gravity of that wisdom, only nodding quietly in the face of her mother's sad, reminiscent smile.

She understood it now.

"You like her, don't you?" The snapping of his face to her, the raw emotion that he gave off, was all she needed to see.

"No way. We just met a few times, is all…" he lied through his teeth, assuming a dispassionate disposition as he stood up. But Karin knew what he wanted to do by breaking eye contact, had done it herself in situations that made her uncomfortable.

So she didn't say anything, just brushed herself off and followed his lead. Because it wouldn't be right for her to tell him how illicit his feelings were. She'd gambled with her identity and those same affections before and had been burned for it. If he was going to be foolish enough to break those rules knowing the consequences, then that was the decision he was making and she respected it.

"Hey, you know what? We've been out here all afternoon and you never game me your name," the stranger chuckled, seamlessly moving onto the next topic. Letting him make the transition, Karin stuck her tongue out at him good-naturedly.

"You didn't exactly ask for mine either, y'know. That's just as much your fault as it is mine."

"Fine, fine. So I didn't ask earlier," he waved her off, grinning as she tucked her hands on her hips. "Then I'm asking you now, Shinigami. What's your name?"

She paused for a second. "Why don't you give me yours first?"

"Because I asked you first. Is it just me, or are you always this difficult?" he rolled his eyes, some of that exasperation peeking into his tone.

"No, definitely not you. I'm pretty much like this in general." But only with people she really liked, though Karin would never say that aloud. No need to have him growing smug at her growing attachment to him.

He snorted then, crossing his arms. "So? Your name?"

For a moment, Karin considered giving him an alias, something for him to remember her by but one that would never allow him to know her. It was an old habit of hers, to hide as if she should be ashamed of herself, and an even harder one to break. A part of her wondered if she'd ever really outgrow Kazuto, as she steeled her nerves with an amiable smile.

"My name is Karin," she greeted, holding out a hand that he gripped with his own, sharing grins as they shook the other's, "Kurosaki Karin."

.

The warmth of her hand stung almost as hard as her words, hitting him straight in the chest and nearly knocking him off balance. Instead, he couldn't pull away from her fast enough, taking a step back and trying to ignore the obvious hurt that ended up being nothing more than a flash in the pan on her face. But he didn't miss it, not with how wide his eyes were and how they refused to blink, as if afraid she'd disappear if he did. And he tried to tell himself that this was just Fate playing a practical joke, that she couldn't be who she said she was, that this was a huge mistake in the making.

But then, Ichigo could never consider meeting his little sister a mistake.

"Hey, are you okay?" Her voice—_Karin_, he reminded himself—was little more than hard granite, closing off at the shift in him mood. Ichigo had no explanation to give her, not when he was reminding himself to breathe deeply and not throw his arms around her. She couldn't know who he was, not yet. Careful years of planning had led up to this last stretch and he wouldn't ruin Urahara's preparations on a careless whim.

But that little detail became irrelevant as Ichigo watched the careful calculation in her eyes, and a part of him wanted to throttle himself for not noticing the pretty features that were far too much like their mother's, changed only by the short, dark hair and iron eyes. The air of nobility should've been another trigger, her carriage of impeccable upbringing almost as thick as Byakuya's. No doubt he'd helped raised at least one of his siblings, as he eyed the young woman with fresh eyes.

The grappling sensation of homesickness—of wanting to return to a life he wasn't even sure he remembered—curled in Ichigo's chest, begging for freedom. A piece of his past was standing before him, all grown up without any recognition of him, and he felt his conscience crumble at his inadequacy. His baby sisters, the ones he remembered talking to against the barrier of his mother's belly, were women now and they had no memories of him to speak of. And the inquiries of how they were faring in their complicated household and if they were well protected rushed to the front of his mind, fear overriding all the other emotions.

It was only Karin's irritation that kept him from spilling all his secrets. "Hey, I said, are you okay? Seriously, you're freaking me out."

"Sorry." The reply was quick, clipped as he shucked shamed eyes in a different direction. But there was much more Ichigo was apologizing for, a million different insignificant things he wanted to ask forgiveness for. One day maybe, when war didn't loom so close over the horizon. But only if they survived it, if his family even wanted him and his father anymore, if they would even be accepted once they knew what he'd become more than sixty year ago. There were far too many ifs for his taste.

"Well?" she tsk-ed, looking all parts the impatient Kurosaki and nearly making him smile, despite his inner conflict. "Aren't you going to introduce yourself?"

No, not to her but Ichigo couldn't let her know that. "Do you have any family, Karin?" The question must've been a Freudian slip because he hadn't expected it, the words registering in the back of his mind a second too late. He didn't realize how much he wanted to hear the answer until he felt the earnestness in his chest, waiting for her to reply.

"I do actually," she replied slowly, uncertainly, measuring his new attentiveness with care. "I have a mother and twin sister."

"No father?" He was proud of the fact that he didn't cringe, though he almost did when she did.

"No, he's gone," Karin shrugged, pretending to not care. "He and my brother died a long time ago before I was born."

_I'm right here._ "I'm sorry." And Ichigo hated that he couldn't say those three little words and wipe away that graveness that clung to her like a second skin. It was hard seeing that he wasn't the only one who had scars from that night, the mission that took his life and shoved him straight into hell. It was even harder knowing it had affected others, as Karin brushed some hair out of her eyes nervously but offered little else.

"It's okay. I have people in my life who care about me," she spoke slowly, as if trying to mean the words as much as she wanted to. "I have no complaints. To be honest, I'm pretty lucky I'm even here, training to be a shinigami and all."

"Of course." Ichigo had a feeling she was hiding behind that statement but didn't ask for clarification. Instead he reached for something else to say. "How do they feel about you being out here? It must be hard for them, right?"

"I guess so, especially my mom. Watching me leave probably brought back some bad memories." The guilt continued to tear apart Ichigo's courage, as he balled his hands at his sides and listened. "My dad died on a mission after my brother was killed. I don't think she ever quite got over it."

In hindsight, Ichigo should've expect his own body's reaction, the burn at the back of his eyes almost foreign but not new, as his mind brought forth the image of the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid eyes on. In his youth, Ichgo remembered how his mother had only shown softness to him and the other children she came across, being playfully stern with their father and politely composed before strangers. She shied away from royal life, heart too pure for a world as muddled and angry as the one she'd married into. The fact that he'd caused Masaki such grief echoed inside him, as Ichigo told himself that he needed leave before his what little will he had left crumbled entirely.

Luckily for him, the timing was impeccable, as the sky began to crack into pieces overhead. It only took a moment for Karin to pop a small candy in her mouth, exiting her false body in familiar black robes. Its defeat would only take a moment but it was a crucial timeframe, as he turned and disappeared from the clearing and out of sight. When he left, he wanted to be little more than a speck in Karin's life, one more grain of sand in an endless, time-measuring vial. But to Ichigo, she'd been a glance at home and redemption, and he missed her even as he pushed his legs to go faster.

When he reached his destination, he slowed to a stop before the old-fashioned shop, the location utterly out of place and as empty as a ghost town. It didn't stop him from entering though, as he waked in to see his father nursing a cup of tea and unseeing eyes. He spoke before Isshin could interrupt him by putting on that exaggerated smile and playing up his eccentricities, covering up old pain by filling the silence.

But what he said wasn't any kinder. "I met my little sister today." Ichigo saw his father's hunched shoulders shot up, large eyes looking at him with a mix of contained happiness and deep regret. But he knew he couldn't offer the old man the comfort he deserved; he just wasn't any good at it.

"I see…" Isshin trailed off, eyes darting around before resettling on his only son. "How is she?"

"She's a shinigami," Ichigo said, schooling his features into his usual poker face. "She's smart, funny and has a twin but we already knew that." A dark chuckle fell from his lips, almost as regretful as it was self-deprecating. "She looks just like mom too."

"Is that right?" The fatherly beam wasn't lost to him, a small grin flitting across Isshin's lips and brightening tired eyes.

"Yeah, but she's got your hair and eyes." Thinking a bit, Ichigo couldn't quite contain his own smirk. "Maybe a little of your personality too. She's got an answer for everything."

"And Masaki?"

There wasn't much to tell and what little there was was just as heartbreaking as the rest of their story. "Alive and well, but worried. She's afraid Karin will turn out like me and you."

Isshin laughed then, more a bark than anything else. "'Karin,' huh? Is that my little girl's name?" A shine gathered around his pupils, as he grinned a little harder at him. "Masaki wanted to name you all after fruits, thought it would be a running joke we could tease you with when you all grew up. But it looks like they've both grown up without me…" He stopped again, trying to get control over the nerves in his voice. Ichigo didn't have the heart to tell him that he didn't quite manage it.

It was then that he realized that Isshin had never heard his daughters' name, cursing himself for not asking for his other sister's. In the midst of his own conflict he hadn't probed as well as he should have, causing Isshin's harried expression and the guilt that practically bled off him. But dwelling wouldn't help either of them so Ichigo refused to do it, as he went to grab a holder of Soul Candy he'd left behind on the far counter. Shinji and the others would be waiting for him, these last few months crucial if they wanted to protect the three dimensions and seek their vengeance against Aizen.

He pretended not to notice how Isshin covered his eyes, silent tears rolling down his cheeks as Ichigo closed the door behind him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: See, they're alive! No worries, Isshin and Ichigo will come back (eventually...) but the Winter War must go on. **Thank you all soooo much for sticking with me!** It's been a rough road but we're chugging along. :)_ I hope you guys will leave a review_ and let me know what you think! I'm just so happy to get this out and hopefully more soon. I've got other OTPs on the brain though so you'll just have to wait and see. :D

Thanks for reading! Until next time, everyone~


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Winter War

**AN**: Is this 'update all the HitsuKarin fics' week? I think so! And I've jumped on the bandwagon by foregoing studying and just writing a whole bunch. LOL I'm sorry it took so long, guys. Exams and then a typhoon and then getting back into the rhythm of school has kept me away. But! I've watched a love of anime and I'm watching a bunch of Fairy Tail episodes right now. Also finished Inu x Boku SS, Toradora and Kamisama Hajimemashita. So cute~ I forgot how much I love shoujo. :DDD

Thanks for waiting so patiently and for all the alerts and favorites, guys~

_Thank you's for the last chapter_:

**Guest**: I'm sorry! T.T I know, Isshin is love and I hurt him so. I hope you like this chapter. :D

**nureen**: I'm glad you liked it. Ichigo and Karin meeting was kinda inspired and I loved writing it because it felt so fresh and fun. And Isshin has

**STARSHINE**: So sorry I haven't updated. Haha. I'm sooo glad and honored that you like my fic. T.T I hope I can live up to expectations and give you something worth waiting for. ;)

**Mi-Chan**: (I'm not sure but did you review twice? XD I didn't know whether to post two replies or not so I'll jsut do one. Sorry if there are two of you!) And finally 'next time' is here! It took long but better late than never, right? ;D

**Liliv00**: It was pretty emotional, right?

**Culdude**: Thank you so much. :D

**Emma22kawaii**: Aww, thank you, bb~ I'm just so glad everyone is enjoying this story. Really, this is one of my most interesting stories to-date so I'm just glad people appreciate whatever I churn out!

**Guest**: Unfortunately 'soon' is a word I'm not good with. -_-;; But I do hope the chapter was worth the wait!

**Cloud69**: That's a huge compliment so thank you so much! :DDDD I'm sorry it took so long but, y'know, life. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

_Warnings_: _**Glazing over the Winter War.**_ Read the manga and/or watch the anime for the full story on that. (I recommend the anime just because they're in color and move and stuff. LOL) ;) And... lots of stuff happens.

This chapter is dedicated to **djAngelynn** for getting my butt in gear and bribing me with her own update. Thank you~ :DDD

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Fifteen: The Winter War<em>

"She's coming back today."

The shuffling of papers stilled at the newcomer's voice. Hinamori Momo, lieutenant of the Fifth Division, stood there in the doorway of the Tenth's office. But her interruption passed without a word, as quick hands filed away the work and gathered up a new batch. And per usual Momo had to admire the way Toushirou held his composure so easily, a skill she both envied and despised.

"Did you hear me?" she asked, knowing full well that he had. Sliding the door in place, she stood before him looking uncertain. When he refused to look up, however, she could feel the exhaustion hit her.

It'd been six months since _she_ had left for her training, six months since Hitsugaya had recoiled into the safety of his shell, six months of her trying to understand just what had happened between them. She should've realized it was a fruitless endeavor. What she'd been able to weasel out of Matsumoto was far from satisfactory and the nothing she got from Toushirou was even worse.

But he'd always been like that, Hinamori mused as she stared down at him, assessing the careful hunch of his shoulders. Even as a child, Toushirou had hidden behind arbitrary words and gestures. The only difference now was the coping mechanism. Instead of brash insensitivity and feigned ignorance, the wall he'd built around himself had become nearly impenetrable, so good at keeping everyone out and himself isolated.

So how had a cross-dressing girl broken in when no one else had?

"Hitsugaya-kun, are you listening to me?" she huffed. Crossing her arms over her chest, Momo did her best stern impression. "Aren't you going to react, even just a little?"

"And what would you like me to say?" The jerk didn't even have the good grace to look up at her. "Is there a proper response to that? Or are you looking for a specific one? If it's the latter, please leave. I have no interest in feeding any delusions you might have."

"Well that was a lot of words for someone who's trying not to 'feed any delusions,' don't you think?" Hinamori shrugged haughtily. Trust a genius to try and outmaneuver her with a few roundabout sentences.

His reprimanding glare would've left another soul frozen solid, the air dropping a few degrees. But she did not cower or stutter; he was fifty years too young to expect such behavior from her. She'd seen him when he was at the bottom rung, picked on and left out. Seeing him at the top now meant Momo was impervious to any of his power plays.

Instead she pushed him harder. "Kurosaki Karin arrives in less than four hours and you're telling me you have no interest whatsoever? After all the things you did for her—"

"And what, Hinamori, have I done for her that's any of your business?" Startling green flashed in annoyance, his contempt for snooping shining through the slithers of his mask. But it was exactly what Momo wanted, as she leaned over the desk and invaded his space.

"Don't play dumb. While I may not know all the details, I know you had something to do with saving Kurosaki-san from her execution. I know that you convinced Kuchiki-taichou to help her, and just because I don't know _how_ doesn't mean I won't find out."

"You're blathering. Please leave before I really lose my temper." Waving his hand, Toushirou went back to his work with every intention of forgetting this conversation. And he'd forget about Karin's return if he could help it, go the entire week without meeting her once. But they only had that much time before they were shipped out to war, and Momo wasn't optimistic that their army would survive it in one piece.

"Promise me you'll see her. Matsumoto is planning a bit of a get-together, just some people from the Tenth and a few of the ranked officers. It'll be small so no pressure."

"Anything planned by Matsumoto is guaranteed to be anything but small. You and I both know that."

"I didn't hear a no," she singsonged, giggling when he glared up at her.

"That doesn't mean it's a yes."

Smile turning downwards, Hinamori did her best impression of a scowl. "Oh, Hitsugaya-kun, you make me so mad I could just…" She trailed off angrily, but brightened when another idea came to mind. "Well fine then. I guess we'll just have to leave Kurosaki-san to the wolves."

Looking positively certain, Momo turned back towards the door at a sedate pace and waited for him to take the bait. _He'll stop me in three, two, one…_

"What did you mean by that?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something?" she asked cheerfully, spinning back with a little flourish. His lack of amusement only made her grin wider.

"What did you mean by 'leave Kurosaki to the wolves'?"

"Well just think about it," she shrugged, pretending to be innocent, "Kurosaki-san has taken her rightful place and everyone knows her as the heir to the Kurosaki home, even if it is only until the next successor is born. But there will be trouble, I'm sure. Kuchiki-taichou's name will protect her somewhat but it's not as if he has to be there tonight…"

"Dammit, Hinamori, just tell me. What is going to happen to Karin?" Toushirou growled, slamming a hand against the wood of his desk. The sound seemed to bounce off the walls, making her flinch. There were only so many buttons she could push before he truly got fed up with her teasing.

But the slip of Karin's name was encouragement to keep trying. "People will talk and scrutinize and just, _challenge_ her. And you know she won't be able to do anything about it." Pausing, Momo looked down as she played with her fingers. Her voice wavered with the unfairness of the situation. "If she talks back, then she's ungrateful and undeserving of her life. If she doesn't stick up for herself, then she'd a coward who's unfit to wed Kuchiki-taichou. So you see? It's a no-win situation."

His fists balled tightly, crinkling the papers beneath his fingertips. The propensity to curse wasn't usually a vice of his but if there was any time to change his mind it would be now. Toushirou knew that Hinamori had a point. There would always be those critics who would overlook any achievement she made and go directly for whatever minor offenses she committed. Quickly, he doused the fury as he weighed his options.

"I don't see how that's any of my concern, or your business for that matter," Hitsugaya answered, sitting back down and feigning disinterest. Her indignant gasp was exactly what he wanted. "What happens to Kurosaki is between her and whatever man is stupid enough to pick that fight. I won't get in the middle of it and neither will you, Hinamori."

"But, but… What if she needs help? Who's going to rescue her?" She took a decisive step forward, her eyes shining with compassion.

Her ignorance nearly made him laugh. "Have you met Kurosaki before? Before her identity was revealed?"

"N-no, I can't say I have…"

"Then you'll need to remedy that tonight if you think she'll need someone to guard her from injury or insult." Taking a nearby pen, he neatly signed his name as a smile came easily to his lips. Just the thought of Karin being anything less than assertive was enough to brighten his mood. "No one defends her better than herself. If you think otherwise, then you haven't been listening well to all the rumors the last few months."

The condescension lit a fire under her, as Momo blushed red at his heavy-handedness. However, a moment later and it cooled just as quickly, as she eyed her old friend with surprised understanding. It took her a second to realize that it wasn't her he was underestimating; it was that he had full faith in Kurosaki Karin. And that was a high compliment from a man who trusted no one with his duties, let alone his thoughts.

She couldn't help it. She wanted more from him. "So you're really not going to go? What if she asks about you?"

His pen stopped mid-air, hovering as he tightened his fingers around the middle. It was always the little things that gave him away, Momo mused, his anxieties and insecurities captured in the tiniest flex or twitch. She wasn't surprised that he didn't answer for the longest time. Instead he resumed writing and acted as if he hadn't heard her.

Puffing out her cheeks, she growled in her throat before stalking out with a slam of the door on its wheels. He could trace her moving away, probably cursing his stubbornness or pride or both. Pausing, he covered his face with his hands, willing away the worry worming around his brain. And for once, he was so glad his office was empty, as he murmured angrily to himself.

"It's not because I don't want to see her, Hinamori. I'm just not sure if she'd want to see me."

In the back of his mind, his promise to Byakuya stirred gently. It awakened for a moment before curling comfortably in on itself, a slowly ticking time bomb. A constant reminder that Karin could be nothing more to him than what she already was.

* * *

><p>As much as Karin appreciated the sentiment of a 'welcome home' and 'congratulations on completing shinigami training' party, she was never one for big crowds. The fact that she knew only a handful of them proved that the whole thing was at her expense rather than for her. Not that she minded, Karin thought as she watched a tipsy Matsumoto pull someone from the Eleventh into a drunken verbal fight.<p>

On another occasion she might've been worried. The Eleventh wasn't known for their kindness and ability to work well with others, after all. But as upper officers looked on and laughed everyone brushed off the threat, going back to their drinks and conversations. The night was still young and they knew what was approaching in the days ahead. She couldn't blame them if they wanted one night to pretend that the world wasn't about to turn on its head.

After having an early dinner with Yuzu and her mother, both of whom had cried tears of joy when the saw her, Karin had been whisked away by a then-sober Matsumoto. That first step into the hall had kept her busy, brushing elbows with both captains and soldiers alike. In the mix, she remembered hugging Rukia and exchanging a few hushed words of advice. Karin made the conscious effort to not comment on the obvious concern in her eyes, as she mentioned the things she saw, the amazement she felt, the difficulty of it all.

But she bit her tongue when she thought of that strange, orange-haired boy in Karakura. There was no way Rukia would know such a strange person, Karin reasoned as the older woman was forcibly dragged to get a drink with one of her squad members. It would've been a long time ago when they met; the man would've most likely been a child. So she shuttered the possibility away and let it go, turning to find some other nameless person she needed to greet.

Another day she would ask her about him, when people weren't drinking away their fears and living it up when all they wanted to do was cower. She understood that feeling and she'd never begrudge them for having it. However, even someone as well-mannered and patient as Karin could feel her good mood withering, as the gathering turned from somewhat civil to downright rowdy.

When people began dancing on tabletops she knew she had to get out of there. But she hadn't seen Byakuya, even though he'd shown up and had even asked to see her. When faced with the chance of speaking with him privately, she'd made the excuse that she needed to use the restroom, slipping out like the coward she never thought she was. Obviously Karin didn't know herself as well as she thought.

She sought him out eventually, outside in the private garden, honing in on the gentle fluctuations of his power. No doubt he'd been there on purpose. With the energy and noise increasing indoors, the Kuchiki head would have left hours ago, his duty to make an appearance fulfilled. But there was much they had to discuss, business that she would've welcomed later. Preferably months from now, years even, but there was only a week until their self-made apocalypse began and they knew that time was no such luxury.

Pulling it out from somewhere deep down, Karin forced her spine straight and met him in the quiet, unlit yard. It was as nondescript as the building, a dime-a-dozen sort of feeling as she made her way over to him. As still as the stone bench he was sitting on, for a moment she wondered if she was disturbing his calm. Because he said nothing, did nothing, just looked out over the shadowed grass and reflective surface of the pond.

It was Karin who spoke first. "Byakuya-nii-sama."

He chose not to respond right then, just slanted dark eyes at her as he took in all the little changes she'd incurred. Her hair had grown even longer, just past shoulder-length, probably because of the lack of spiritual energy in the other world. It had aged a bitter quicker than the rest of her. Her hands were gently scarred as well, white marks from careless mistakes she'd learned from and a few battles she had no right being in. And he thought how it was strange that six months could be so long in their infinite lives.

"I'm glad to see you're well," he began, watching as she tentatively took a seat behind him. Her uncertainty chaffed at his skin but he understood the reason for it. Honestly, he thought she might not come at all.

"You too. Good to know your greetings haven't changed much," she scoffed sarcastically. When she realized what she'd said and how she said it, it felt like a lightning bolt shot through her. The blatant disrespect made her heat even in the chilly air.

"I apologize. That was uncalled for." Tilting her head forward, Karin berated herself mentally. She hadn't quite learned to curb her tongue and had hoped to keep it under thumb until people became more aware of who she was. No doubt they would expect behavior more like her former self, but she wasn't Kazuto anymore. She'd buried him with the souls of the many Hollows she'd slain.

To her shock, Byakuya didn't respond the way she expected. "No, I don't think you should be sorry. I don't expect you to suffer in silence like you once did." He gave her a onceover, inspecting her as if he was seeing her for the first time. Maybe because he was. "I've always believed that freedom could change a caged bird."

"For some reason I feel like you're not just talking about me anymore," Karin said, as a shine of nostalgia lit his eyes. He turned away before she could discern anything else.

"We're not here to discuss my thoughts, Karin. I believe we have unfinished business to take care of." She winced at his lack of tact, as she curled her hands into fists and dug her nails into her skin.

"This really can't wait until after the Winter War? I mean, our troubles here don't seem like anything compared to that."

"That is neither this nor that. It is time we worked out the details of our arrangement so that I may have something to tell the Elders."

Glaring at nothing in particular, she griped to herself. "I don't understand why they're so interested. They're not the ones getting married."

The acknowledgement didn't take away the sting or bad taste in her mouth. If anything, it soured her disposition more as the reality settled in. And suddenly she wished she was on patrol again, anywhere but here and with a road that was endless and winding. Because things in her life were being carved into stone without her consent and she could do nothing about it.

"I understand your frustration but you must know that I'm not your enemy."

"I know that. I'm not mad at you, Byakuya-nii-sama," she groaned, chastising herself for her misconduct. It felt like decades' worth of frustration were unloading, regardless if she was ready for it or not.

Under his direction, they talked about all the things they hadn't had time for before. Karin's family would be under his care and she'd be allowed free access to the Kurosaki home. If it'd been another man, he might've held her under lock and key, holding her mother and sister's safety over her head. And not for the first time Karin was glad it was Byakuya she'd been saddled with, as unfair as it all was.

They would take up residence in his home and she would learn to care for the house as a properly lady of her station would. It wouldn't take much as she'd been doing the same for her own, but taking on the role of hostess rather than master would be new and trying. In exchange for her compliance, Karin would be allowed to keep training as a shinigami.

Although his council had spoken against allowing her so much freedom, Byakuya had been adamant about this compromise. There was a chance she'd grow strong enough to take over the Fifth's captaincy one day and he wouldn't let some archaic belief keep her from it. He'd trained her too well to expect anything less.

Neither of them brought up the undercurrents of their negotiations, the truths that tainted their pending union. Although she'd been too young to remember, Karin was familiar with Kuchiki Hisana, Byakuya's diseased wife. The fact that he was breaking his promise to himself, to never take another after her passing, didn't escape her. She couldn't quite stamp down the guilt as she continued to listen.

The other hindrance, however, was very much alive, one she refused to recognize as anything more than her former mentor. He didn't even have the decency to stop by and greet her. She knew because she'd spent more than her fair share eyeing the entrance, only to come up empty each time. But the thought had to be put away, as Byakuya finished going over the Elders' and his own expectations for her. Too much was riding on their so-called engagement—her family's welfare, his pride, her life, his _heir_—so she allowed him his due.

When he left, Karin was a little ashamed that she was relieved to see him go. Their talk had been heavy, so patterned with others' wants that she'd nearly lost her temper. But she knew Byakuya was only a messenger. He wanted no part in this any more than she did, probably less even, but he'd played the part of savior. And now they were both paying the price.

.

.

From the shadowed corner, he watched as her face shifted from quiet anger to tired disinterest. And the more Kuchiki-_taichou _talked, the less she seemed to listen, her focus decidedly elsewhere. He could read it in the way her fingers tightened in her _hakama_, how she never quite met his gaze, how she never said farewell. After all those months apart, Toushirou was surprised to find that he could understand her still.

However, he hadn't recognized her immediately from afar. A distinctly feminine touch replaced her manicured sheen, more open and inviting but no less fierce. He'd arrived on the coattails of festivities, just before it turned into a raucous affair courtesy of Matsumoto's alcohol. From the sidelines, he observed her laughing and smiling, and for a moment he was afraid he didn't know who she was. This person—this woman—was nothing like the one who left, nothing like the boy he'd trained and befriended.

Strange how she never quite met his expectations. He should've learned by now that it was better to not have any.

Against the voice in his head, he departed without saying a word. There had been no preparation time, he didn't know how to act around her anymore. And after seeing her in the garden, face shadowed as Kuchiki-taichou spoke in practiced detachment, Toushirou wasn't sure he could confront her tonight, tomorrow, anytime at all. So much had changed between them and they had to keep pretending that none of it happened. Right now, he didn't have the energy to search for the words to say so. Seeing her after so long had been more than enough.

* * *

><p>Karin fell back into his life the same way she left: a stealthy tiptoe.<p>

"Good afternoon, Taichou. How was your captains' meeting?" From the edge of his desk, she perched with a devious little smirk, so at home on her that he nearly asked her who she was. However, he knew better than to do so. Inciting a Kurosaki's wrath was not how he wanted to play his next move.

"Fine. Welcome back, Kurosaki. I'm glad to see you've returned in one piece." Internally he flinched. The words sounded callous even in his own ears.

"Did you ever doubt me?"

"I worry for any new recruit. Training is only preparation, after all. It doesn't tell you how well someone will handle the stress of real battle." He looked at her directly then, meeting her eyes for the first time in half a year. A part of him wondered how many more times he'd be given the privilege before she belonged to someone else. "I'm glad to see you weren't one of those that couldn't."

For a moment she watched him carefully, tracing the limbs at his sides to broad shoulders and then cat-like eyes. To remind herself that he hadn't changed nearly as much she had. "You kept tabs on me, I'm sure. What, did you not trust my so-called genius to get me through it?"

"I trusted you to follow orders and use your abilities wisely. Seeing as you've been given high marks by your leader I'm assuming you did just that." Reluctant anger flared up inside him, as Toushirou glared outright at her smug smile. He didn't understand what she was trying to accomplish by pushing his buttons but endearment was far from his mind.

So Hitsugaya did what he did best in these kinds of situations. Rounding her, he took a seat in his chair in hopes she'd take the not-so-subtle hint and leave. To the rest of the world there was nothing left between them other than some stale friendship and a strange softness he had for her, a feeling he hadn't been able to smother completely. But Toushirou had paid his debts to her. In fact, he'd incurred more in the form of his favor to Byakuya, a secret he'd do well to keep hidden.

But Karin wouldn't be swayed from her purpose. "Are we not going to talk about this?" The contemplative murmur made the hairs on his skin rise, the alto of her voice a mix between what he knew and what he was still getting used to.

"Talk about what?"

Instinctively he knew it was dangerous to question her, fake disinterest when he knew exactly what she was wanted. When she spun and planted her hands on either side of him, he had no choice but to look up at her. The expression of fury and anxiety had him tensing, desperate to remain impartial.

"About this! About us," Karin growled, leaning forward and stealing his concentration. He'd never noticed her black irises held flecks of blue.

_That's because a year ago it wouldn't have mattered. _"There is nothing to discuss, Kurosaki. You are safe now, a fact that I'm glad to hear but have no opinion on otherwise. Do us both a favor and leave the past where it is."

Her reply was little more than a tortured snarl. "You're a fucking coward, Toushirou."

His body reacted before he could stop himself. Towering over her, something like electricity shot through his skin as he felt the graze of her breath against his lips. He'd remembered her—Kazuto—being taller but she seemed less so now, perfectly sized as he stared down into a face he knew far too well. It was dangerous to think that she might've been made to fit him.

"That's Hitsugaya-taichou to you. Have some respect, Kurosaki. I'm not one of your handlers. I won't put up with that attitude of yours."

"You only pull rank with me when you know I'm right. What, did you think I never noticed your trigger?" she asked when his eyes widened.

"There is nothing to talk about. You and your family's lives have been spared at the cost of your engagement and you are now a full-fledged shinigami about to be sent off into war. If there's anything to discuss, it's your priorities."

"You're so wrong I don't even know what to say," Karin spoke through her teeth, baring them as she closed what little space was between them. "My life is a mess. But to everyone else I'm getting off easy. I'm going to be some ornament on my friend's wrist, whispered about and watched because I'm, as the Elders like to say, 'breaking tradition.'

"So yes, maybe I'm grateful for Byakuya-nii-sama did, maybe even _happy_ because my family is safe. But we never got to finish, Taichou. Hell, we never even started." He felt his defenses crack with the one in her voice, broken and unsure.

"That's because there was never any 'we' to begin with." Even as he spoke the lie he'd rehearsed over and over again the last six months, it left his tongue sticky and rough, a dry pill he couldn't swallow. And as he watched the light in her eyes flicker out, Toushirou pondered if this was what real sacrifice was. Turning her away would be his last act of gentleness; it was too bad she would never know it.

So when her head dropped, his heart went with it.

"I'm sorry." And he meant it. For lying, for hurting her, for only doing this much when he wanted to do so much more. But Hitsugaya wasn't her protector. He had no right to be, he thought as he finally tore his gaze away long enough to compose himself. One day she would be grateful for this, his cruel kindness. Their paths were never supposed to cross in the first place, not like this. She wouldn't miss him and he had no right to miss her.

The thought was sobering as he sat back down, head just as low as he pretended to concentrate on his paperwork. His dismissal had her stepping back, rejection sipping at her wounds. And it took everything Toushirou had to not look up at her, comfort her, because that wasn't what she would want or what he needed to do. Hopefully he could tell her that someday down the line, would get to hear her thank him for it, as unlikely as that would be.

But Karin wasn't fooled, not by something as cheap as words. Tangling her fingers in Hitsugaya's _shihakusho_, all she saw was a flash of shock before she leaned down and kissed him. She did it because she knew this could very well be their last.

When he didn't respond, Karin wasn't sure if it was the attack or the fact that it was _her_ that kept him drozen. Her lack of experience made her that much self-conscious, as she clamped her eyes shut in hopes he'd be respond. Either push back or pull away, she didn't care, as long as he reacted. But the moment was passing and she found her heart, jumping in a random pattern, had stopped, as she backed away to look at him.

A momentary pause.

And then he was pressing her to him again and she just didn't care anymore.

Soft and deliberate, Hitsugaya curled his fingers in her locks like he'd imagined more than once. Guiltily because what right did he have to deserve her? Especially now that she was promised to another man, his comrade and friend. But it was something in the way she kissed him back that took away that remorse, as she opened her mouth and asked for whatever he'd give her.

And he gave her everything, knowing it would never be enough for either of them. They were living on borrowed time, as sweet as the taste of her as she dragged him closer with a careful swipe of her tongue. And for a moment Toushirou wished that he could blame it all on a moment of insanity or inebriation, a way to escape responsibility once the spell was over.

They parted in reluctant pants, fingers still drawn in hair and latched onto skin, the space between them hot but far from clear. Common sense was returning along with their air to their lungs, as Karin pulled away and pressed her fingertips to her mouth. Looking at her, he knew she wasn't sure whether to smile or not, be happy for the little pleasure or ashamed of it. And frankly he was just as uncertain as she was.

Settling back into his seat, Hitsugaya's voice sounded choked even to himself. "This won't happen again. You're dismissed, Kurosaki."

However, she didn't move from her spot, just watched him with that omniscience that always left him unnerved. He pretended that the roving of her eyes didn't put him on edge, didn't strip away what little confidence he had left. They were a mistake just waiting to happen and even if he wanted to, he had no means to protect her. Better to leave her in Byakuya's capable hands than let her suffer the stigma of choosing him.

The sound of her light footfalls were just as rattling as they were comforting. It was the right choice. Maybe not the one they agreed on but the one where she would hurt less. And Toushirou wanted that for her, for the girl who sacrificed more than she was willing to take.

It didn't escape him how she had broken that rule for him, making him her single act of selfishness. The thought warmed him until it burned, as he willed the regret for another day when he could mourn his loss.

"Hey, Toushirou," Karin called from the doorway, back to him as she braced a hand on the green wood. "When this is all over, I'm not going to leave again without telling you how I feel. You might be scared of the repercussions but I'm not. I've lived long enough denying myself what I want because of fear."

Feeling her gaze fall to him, confident where he was anything but, he could almost hear the smile in her voice. "Even if you reject me, we're going to talk about this the way it needs to be. I don't have anything to hide anymore. So you shouldn't feel like you have to hide from me."

The shudder of the door echoed, her promise loud in his ears as he scrapped a hand across his face. It was in that moment that Hitsugaya realized that the thing he feared was not the consequences or risks but Karin herself. Not because of what she said or did, but because he knew that he would give in to her if she fought him hard enough.

* * *

><p>The week disappeared in the blink of an eye. Embracing her mother and sister, Karin could feel their nails like claws catching onto her cloth. Don't go, the gesture said, just stay here and be safe with us. But the truth of the matter was that there was no real safety. It was either destroy or be destroyed. And while Karin would've liked to think she could tip that balance, she wasn't deluded enough to believe it.<p>

Looking down at her _zanpakuto_, she wondered if Kikōō had been as disappointed as she was when she returned. She'd promised to attain _bankai_, partly to reassure Hitsugaya that she was strong enough to master the nearly impossible and partly because she herself had needed the affirmation. Attaining _bankai_ would've given that confidence.

On the other hand, she was pleased to note that her _shikai_ had been fully attained. Matsumoto had asked about her progress before the liquor had made her speaking and listening faculties useless. And she'd been impressed, saying how few achieved a complete _shikai_ even long after they graduated. So she took her shortcomings in stride, as she stood before the large _senkaimon_ that would take her and half of the _Gotei_ Thirteen's officers into the World of the Living.

A shiver of anticipation ran down her spine, the full force of her duty hitting her in that moment. Life or death, that's what Hinamori-fukutaichou had whispered to her. Momo's eyes had been just as tormented as her own when she smiled grimly at her, maybe even more so. The little history she knew of the vice captain's past had filled in the blanks and for a moment a tendril of pity filled her. A woman who could face her fears was a woman worth admiring, she thought.

A familiar presence stood behind her, the wave of Hitsugaya's _reiatsu_ both comforting and jarring. Despite her wants, she kept herself focused and forward, her words from that afternoon echoing in her mind. Even now she considered her declaration bold, something she would've never tried had her life not changed so suddenly. Or maybe it was a long time coming. She'd like to think that she had some control over her destiny.

Neither of them acknowledged each other once they made it through the portal, the quiet, empty city of Karakura spread out beneath them. And at its corners were the four towers holding their plan together, the citizens asleep, safe and sound elsewhere. For now, that is.

It didn't take long for Karin to sense the change in the air, as all eyes went to the cracked opening of a black mouth in the clear sky. Her throat constricted at the tremendous force that beat at her senses, as the captains and their subordinates looked on with mixed horror and fascination. A small comfort, but she took it for what it was.

And out of that _garganta_ came three former captains, men she'd read about in books and scriptures and heard about in hushed voices. Men who had helped destroy her family. The notion had her clenching her teeth, fists shaking at her sides with emotion she thought she had under control. But she could never forgive them, not when she thought of the graves she visited and cleaned by hand each year.

Alongside them came their soldiers, or Espada as they liked to be called. And behind them came their Fraccion, servants that hung on their leader's every word to the point of obsession. None of them gave off any sense of modesty, simply smirking as if their side had already decided the battle. Their cockiness made her fingers itch, as the enemy picked their poisons.

With Hinamori and Matsumoto, Apacci, Mila Rose and Sung-sun approached them with mixed bemusement and self-satisfied expressions. Without warning, they launched their attacks with _sonido_ against their heels, pushing her and her comrades back with ease. Their taunts echoed in her mind, as she fought for her self-control and concentrated on what she needed to do.

Drawing out her blade, Karin called out the release. "Rise from the burning ashes, Kikōō!"

Red garb covered her _shihakusho_, a coat that looked as easy to slice through as silk but deceptive in its shine. Kikōō had explained that her release separated into the light armor she wore and a double-edged sword, a transformation worthy of its spirit. She'd bled many times during her excursion from her own mishandling, as she poised the sharp tip towards Mila Rose. There would be no room for mistakes here, however.

It didn't take long for Karin to figure out that her training wouldn't be enough by itself. Hell, decades of missions wouldn't be enough to catch up with those around her. But she was smart, crafty in a way that others didn't expect of such a young girl. And she used her skills to her full advantage, moving seamlessly from _kidou_ to swordsmanship to hand-to-hand combat. Byakuya would've been proud if could see her.

However, she wasn't blind to her own shortcomings. The most she could do was defend and retaliate, never gaining the upper hand no matter how many blows she landed. And it looked like Rangiku was having the same trouble, along with a disheveled Momo trying to keep her own opponent from advancing further. They didn't need to look at each other to understand just how unprepared they were.

So when they summoned Quimera Parca, there was no hope.

Panting hard against the strain of her muscles, the sweat beaded before falling to the dirt-thrown ground. Around her factitious buildings had crumbled, the unlucky pins to their bowling ball bodies. The Third's Fraccion had done a number on her, Matsumoto and Hinamori and she was ashamed to say she hadn't been nearly as much help as she'd hoped.

In the distance, the clashing of swords and bone carried through the stagnant air. Her mind was fully aware, conscious of the pain radiating to her limbs and deep beneath her skin. The strewn bodies of her two companions weren't too far but knocked unconscious from the force of the giant's attack. Individually they'd been an equal match for the three Hollows, but the monster they'd created had overpowered them easily. Genryuusai-soutaichou was forced to step in, chastising them for their carelessness. The well of shame didn't disappear even as she fought to force her body up again.

Between keeping her pain in the back of her mind and fighting for movement, she saw shuffling out of the corner of her eye. A brief glance and she noticed the face of a person in a trance, Karin watching as Hinamori-fukutaichou made her way over in slinky, slow movements. And immediately she knew something was wrong, as she pushed herself to her elbows.

Above them Hitsugaya had engaged a serene Aizen in a fight fed on revenge and battered pride, the older shinigami beautiful and deadly in his arrogance. But what shocked her more was the absolute loss of control on Toushirou's face, eyes gone dark in hopes of drawing traitor's blood. It took everything she had to get herself sitting, hissing as she watched Hinamori move towards them.

She swore she only blinked once but when she saw Momo come between the two men, Karin couldn't move fast enough.

Calling on her _shikai_, she just barely blocked Daigakuren Hyourinmaru from slashing the Fifth's lieutenant in two. Vaguely she was aware of the mild surprise on Aizen's face before it contorted into a soft smile that might've once been handsome. Now it only showed cold interest.

"What the hell are you doing, Taichou? Snap out of it!" She yelled in fervor, pushing him back with strength she didn't have. The light armor of her _zanpakuto_ flickered in the air as she fell into a crouch, blocking Momo from his view.

But one look into his eyes and she understood: Toushirou had fallen under Kyoka Suigetsu's hallucinations. Gritting her teeth, she growled as she shot the brown-haired man a sneer. His amused chuckle had her coming back to the situation, as Hitsugaya charged her again. She was outclassed and outmatched, barely dodging deadly blows as lacerations decorated her skin.

"You've got to get a hold of yourself, Taichou! He's controlling you!"

Another slice, barely missing her jugular.

"I'm not Aizen! He's taken away your sight, he almost made you hurt Hinamori-fukutaichou!" And Toushirou would never do anything to his childhood friend. Not after the hell that bastard had put her through half a century ago.

But he kept swinging, intent to cut her down to size. And for the first time in her life, Karin was scared of her former captain, of that strength that he had never used against her. Except she wasn't her right now, not to him. She was the enemy.

Knowing he would follow, Karin led him away from their true target, hoping that maybe distance would bring him back. Her immunity to Aizen's power would only last this once since this was her first time seeing his complete hypnosis. If he decided to use her the same way, she'd be easy prey. But she wouldn't willingly leave Toushirou at his mercy.

_Mistress, he's too strong. You won't be able to stop him. You're only buying him some time_. Kikōō's voice was a bitter cry, doing his best to keep her bathed in his power. Not for long though. It would die out soon and she was afraid what she'd do without it.

The hiss of her guardian's voice warned her not to think that way, that he wouldn't let her go so tragically. Kikōō was just as invested in her as she was in Toushirou. In her head, she formulated a plan, something to knock Aizen's all-knowing concentration from his captive long enough to break the spell.

Fending off Hitsugaya was taking every last bit energy she had, as she pushed back against his blade with bleeding hands. Her fingers trembled, arms so close to giving up. But she kept fighting because of that glazed look in his eye, the one that screamed he was anyone but himself.

The blurring of Aizen's form appeared behind him then, smiling so kindly that she nearly loses her grip. Her eyes fall from Toushirou as she snarled at the disgraced captain. The mood changed quickly however, as her eyes widened when she realized what he was about to do. Because nothing on Aizen had changed except the drawing up of his arm and the glint of his _zanpakuto_ against the sun.

Without thinking, Karin reacted before she registered her own reflex. Shoving Hitsugaya away, she intercepted the slash and reflected it back with a strangled cry. But he looked no less pleased as he stood before her. In fact, he looked even happier for some reason and she didn't understand why.

The pain that blossomed along her spine was answer enough.

"You're a brave little soldier, Kurosaki-san. And dedicated too," Aizen sung sweetly, meeting her astonished stare as she felt the splatter of blood soak her _shikai_. But soon enough that too disappeared with what little _reiatsu_ she had, the blurring of her vision beginning at the edges. She didn't need to look behind her to know what had happened. The pointed hilt protruding through her chest spoke volumes.

"You tricked me."_ Us_ was what she meant, as she choked back a mouthful of blood. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction to see her any weaker.

He approached her then, as she felt her left lung collapse with the twisting of Hyourinmaru in her chest. His fingers stroked the side of her face, as if consoling her. But there was nothing more painful to her than his icy touch.

When he spoke, the obvious mocking made her eyes tear helplessly. "A good, honest child. Just like your brother." And then he waved his hand to erase his illusion. She could only imagine what Toushirou looked like.

"Oh my god..." She heard the broken realization in his voice, the regret potent as he pulled his sword from her back and her into his arms. He never noticed Aizen right in front of them, smirking smugly before disappearing into a _shunpo_.

The warmth of healing _kidou_ filled her but deep down she had a feeling it wouldn't be enough. In her mind, Kikōō's screams had faded into the distance, anguished as he came to the same conclusion. She wasn't going to survive this, not without the Fourth's intervention and they were a dimension away. But she didn't say so, as Hitsugaya cradled her carefully before setting her on the floor.

"I'm sorry, Karin. I'm so sorry," he pleaded, so unlike himself as the blue from his hands covered her front. The bleeding had slowed to a stop, but there nothing to reverse the losses. There was too much gone and her organs were failing, reflecting the visceral pain that shot to the very tips of her dying limbs.

"It's okay, Toushirou. I'm okay," she lied with a smile, feeling her eyes water against her will. Not now. Karin didn't want this moment to be filled with crying. That wasn't how she wanted him to remember her.

"No you're not. You're not okay and it's my fault," he growled, narrowing his eyes at the grin she was straining to keep on. Of course he'd read right through her. Karin forgot how transparent she was to him. It only made blinking back her worries that much harder, as the wetness clung to her eyelashes.

"It's not your fault, Toushirou. It's not..." Was that her voice? She wondered how she could hear through the flowing of displaced blood. It sounded so far away in her ears, as she looked up into his guilt-ridden face. How she managed to still feel shame for putting that look on him, she'd never know.

"Yes it is, dammit! Don't pretend that it wasn't it wasn't me who hurt you." Panicking, he felt his insides tighten as he felt feel her aura web. But the more _kidou_ he pushed in her, the more he understood that it was a lost cause. Like fanning a growing fire. And never had he felt more powerless than this moment, as he held back his own tears.

Her hand wrapped around his wrist, a signal to stop and save his strength for now. Even on her deathbed, Karin was more worried about others than her own well-being. Meeting her eyes, he knew that Karin had understood her fate the instant he'd attacked her.

Only one of them would make it home today.

And he knew this wasn't the right place or time, not with their nakama fighting for the balance of three worlds, but Toushirou just couldn't leave her there to die alone. He smoothed a hand over the curve of her face, gently memorizing the curve of her cheeks and line of her jaw. As a man, she'd been harsh and imposing but as a woman she was all delicate lines, beautiful in her unconventionality. He would find no one like her again.

The bile rose in his esophagus as blood was hacked into her hand, shaking her small, pale form. Blankly his mind registered that there would be no body to bring home to her family. Her soul would disintegrate into particles and feed this world. He wouldn't have anything to give her mother and sister, Toushirou thought as he tucked her beneath his chin and tried to warm her with his heat. The stinging behind his eyes made him clench her tighter to him, willing time to stop, just a moment or two longer.

"Hey Toushirou…" Her voice came out weary, dreamlike.

"Yeah, Karin?" He could feel her lashes tickle his neck, as she placed her hands on top of his and squeezed. Or at least the best she could manage, as she buried her face deeper into his neck.

"I don't think…. I'll get to…" She coughed again and all he could do was rub her back, feeling the warm, sticky liquid coat his hand. "I can't keep my promise…"

"Don't be stupid. Of course you will. We'll take you back to Soul Society and you'll be fine," he told her, the reassurance coming out as a hopeless plea. The coolness of her skin whispered of her impending end, and he hated how he had broken his promise first. Instead of protecting her it'd been the other way around, and now she would die because of it.

"Of course…" she nodded, humoring him. "But I want to tell you everything. Y'know, just in case."

"Save it for then. I want to hear all of it when you're better." But that was a lie.

In reality, he didn't want to hear a thing. Because if he didn't hear her confession, then he could pretend that his feelings were all, a person couldn't regret not having something that was never theirs. Or so he had thought.

As the tears traced down his face, Hitsugaya refused to look down at her and what he was sure would be a pitying, playful grin. He refused to commit her to memory as anything other than what she was, vibrant and strong and beautiful.

As wordless as his wish was, she seemed to hear it, stroking her fingers against his knuckles as she felt the last of her life slip through her fingers. So she wouldn't tell him because that would be cruel, to love him only to leave him behind. And Karin would do anything in her power to stop him from hurting.

Slowly she felt her body began to give in, dissolving so silently and slowly that she was almost sure she could stop it if she wanted to. But she was just so tired now, as she felt the cold turn to warmth and the pain gave way to nothingness. Her last words rang even as she disappeared like sand through his fingertips.

_You were special to me, Toushirou. I can only hope I meant something to you too._

And for the first time in decades since he left District One, Hitsugaya Toushirou fell to his hands and knees and cried bitterly. Cried for Karin, who he'd wanted to protect and cherish even when he told himself to stay away, that she would be better off without him.

But no matter how much he wiped atthem, the tears wouldn't stop. After a while he didn't even try to, drowning in his grief even as a second _garganta_ clawed its way through the sky. The stroke of a familiar _reiatsu_ didn't wash away his pain, as he struggled to pick himself up off the ground.

Later he would give Karin the proper burial she deserved, a goodbye he wasn't worthy of giving her. But he had to force the notion out from his mind, as he looked up through blurred vision. The shock and relief he felt were shallow as he saw Kurosaki Ichigo stepping onto the humans' plane. Clad in that infamous black _bankai_ he'd achieved in three days' time, it was as if he'd never disappeared, as if he'd never been left for dead.

And with Ichigo's entrance the tides would turn with it, always following in his favor. But as Toushirou picked up Kikōō, a final token for the Kurosaki family, he couldn't help the resentment that unfurled in his bones. If only he'd arrived a little earlier, it would've made all the difference.

In the end, it was too little too late.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: ... Do you hate me? :/

Now before I get some random people yelling about this, I just want to say that there is quite a bit of story left. So don't kill me just yet, okay? :3

As for future updates, I have a list of things I plan on writing before I can get back to this fic. In order: a smutty sequel to _Shadow General_ from _In Every Seaso_n, a Zutara AU for a good friend of mine, an IchiRuki I keep putting on the backburner and then PC and _Unlikely_ (LoK). So, yes, I will be busy but a review or two might make me work a little faster. *fails at getting people to come to the dark side and comment*

P.S. It's my wifey's (fuckyeahhikari) bday soon and I wrote her a little somethin' somethin'. You'll be able to see it at my AO3 account when I post it, if you catch my drift. Hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge. ;D Just head on over to my profile and click the link near the top!

Thanks for reading, everybody! Until next time~


	17. Chapter Sixteen: Loss

**AN**: Hello everyone. :) Yes, I am alive and yes, this story is no quite over. I'm so very sorry it's been a while and frankly, I have no excuse other than lack of inspiration and time. But I do have a goal of finishing this fic and so here I am, trying to make amends. I hope you guys will give it a read and let me know what you're thinking. This isn't a filler chapter. Lots happens and I'm really trying to figure out where to go from here.

_Thank you's for the last chapter_:

(Also, I'm not sure who I responded to so I replied to the most recent reviews. if I forgot to reply to you in a message, I am so sorry~ I will definitely do so next time!)

**chickie**: It was hard just writing the chapter! But I'm sure reading it was horrible too. I'm sorry about that... and it doesn't really get better yet. But I hope this chapter will ease some of your worries. :D

**hakkuchi**: It always takes me too long to update. Unfortunately, I lost a lot of inspiration for this story but writing for it again reminded me why I liked it so much. This really is one of my favorite story lines. And while I'm sure there will be an angry mob at the end of this chapter, I think I'll be back writing for this because I really do love it. Thank you for your review but I guarantee nothing about saving your heart. :D

**nureen**: I am wonderful at that! Making people hate and love me is a gift~ LOL I put a lot in that chapter and there's quite a bit here too. Not as long but lots happens. Lots has to happen before the happy-ever-after. :) Thanks for all of your amazing reviews!

**anwesha baral**: I have done everything but that, but here I am! Trying to fix what I started. Please enjoy and thank you~

**fan reader**: Unfortunately, not all things are that easy. :/ If you read, you'll see why. Haha. :)))

**Bear**: Yes, sir/ma'am! I am sitting and getting things done as we speak. *sweats nervously* That is truly a fate worse than death. Please don't...

**Frannyme**: No you don't! #HugsYouLots

**Guest**: I AM VERY SORRY. I'M ALMOST DONE WITH SCHOOL AND ALL ME WRITING GETS DONE DURING EXAMS. I DON'T KNOW WHY. Which is why I hope you enjoy this chapter. :)))

**OMG WHAAAAAAAAAA**: I DID. I AM SORRY. No, really, I feel so bad. It's going to work out though... eventually.

**Guest**: Definitely not over so I hope you enjoy it. And thank you so much, I tried to hard to write something good. LOL

**Guest**: Thank you! That means so much to me. I put a lot of brain power into this. Hehe.

**Nyaggerz**: OMG That is a sad, sad picture... I love it, it makes me so happy as a horrible writer who likes to know people are really invested in my story. I don't know if this will keep you happy but I hope it helps just a little. ;)

Special shout-out to **djAngelynn** for getting me to finish this chapter. Seriously, if you have long conversations with me on tumblr, I'll pretty much write you anything. I am so easy, it's sad. This is the second chapter in a row that she's gotten me to update! Wow, amazing~ Haha.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter Sixteen: Loss<em>

Burying the dead after war was like putting a thin bandage over an oozing wound. It might look fine at first but eventually everything seeped through, the raw emotions and leftover anger truly just manifestations of new grief. And then there were the complications that came with it, the family members who would receive visits or letters of condolences but there was no one could truly understand that loss.

It was with heavy feet that Toushirou climbed the steps to the old mansion. Hid head made him feel as if he was walking through a fog, dazed at the normalcy of it all. The sun was shining high above with their victory but it was grossly out of place, the mood too somber and hearts heavy wherever one looked. It had been a week since their decisive battle with Aizen and subsequently Ichigo's return. He'd yet to meet his friend in private. His head had been too preoccupied that he couldn't feel anything other than fascination and awe when a familiar _reiatsu_ lit up the sky.

His mind had been more concerned with the warmth fading in his arms and the scent of iron on his hands.

He stopped himself in the middle of the towering stone stairs, doubt filling him again. Would he still be welcomed after all that'd happened? The flower stems in his hand nearly broke under his grip, a meager and delicate offering. Bowing his head, Hitsugaya knew he was asking for forgiveness he wasn't owed. Karin had fallen by his hand and it continued to plague him with sleepless nights and long work hours as he tried to keep busy. He'd hoped that it would help him stop thinking but the monotony and silence only made him more aware of his sins.

"How could they want me there?" he choked on the words, setting his shoulders in steel. There would be other times he could pay homage to Karin but not here, not at her home and with a public who had every right to hate him.

As he turned around, a voice stopped him. "Hitsuagaya-taichou."

"Kuchiki-taichou…" Before him stood the Sixth's captain, dressed in formal robes that fit his family's distinction. In his hands he too carried a gift for the funeral alter, and suddenly Toushirou was overwhelmed all over again.

"Do not tell me you're leaving so soon," Byakuya asked, voice even but the condemnation was irrevocably clear. "Paying respect to one's subordinates is an honorable duty. I am glad to see that Kurosaki was well cared for until the end."

"You don't mean that," the boy snarled. In an instant he transformed from a full-fledged shinigami to the runt of a child that lived on the outskirts of District One. "Your sarcasm isn't appreciated. You don't think I belong there anymore than the people there do. We both know what they'll say. A murderer can't mourn his victims."

A contemplative face came over him then, as Byakuya drank in the words and all the little nuances surrounding them. The dirty-white of the well worn steps, the uncomfortably blue sky, but mostly his longtime colleague whose body screamed of repentance. Empathy had Byakuya shuttering his eyes for a moment before he spoke.

"You are too harsh on yourself, Hitsugaya-taichou. I hold you no more responsible than anyone else, and only those of import will understand how sorry you are."

"And those who don't?" It was meant to be gruff but it came off pleading.

"Then they did not truly understand Kurosaki, you, or the bond you shared."

Byakuya began his ascent again, looking past him while Toushirou continued to stare down at the rows of steps he'd just climbed. It would be so easy to go down them, to make his prayers once the empty coffin was lowered into the ground and the graveyard was silent. When Ichigo and his family wouldn't be there to accept his apology while everyone whispered treachery as he passed.

It made the first step easy. He was a coward grasping for the little courage that he'd left on the battlefield, the bouquet becoming lead as he took a few more, slow and steady. But then Karin's face flashed in his mind, stern but gentle as how he remembered her, and he knew there was nowhere he could say farewell than beside her.

* * *

><p>"How dare he show up? And with such a meager gift!"<p>

He half-expected the hush of quiet when he stepped into the room, all of the figures dressed in their most formal garbs and with matching grief. He remembered the occasional times when Karin would speak about her home life, how she didn't enjoy the people there or how they sought her favor, always looking for a way past her defenses. And now they were using her passing as a means to do the one thing she hated them doing.

"What a scoundrel that boy is, to impose on the Kurosaki's when he's the cause of their suffering in the first place."

"Poor, poor Masaki-dono. To have her and Yuzu-sama look at Karin-sama's killer while they're in mourning. Despicable."

"He used to be friends with Ichigo-dono as well, and a favorite of Isshin-dono's from Shino Academy." The old woman snorted derisively as she looked him up and down. "Well, I hope they still have some goodness in their heart for him."

Ignoring the passive-aggressive jeers, Toushirou went straight to the memorial. It was dressed in candles and fresh flowers, only the best for the former head of the Kurosaki Clan, as the empty coffin took center stage. A framed picture of Karin still acting as Kazuto rested atop it and his heart clenched in his chest. Not even enough time to have a picture taken of her as Karin. But then again, this was the person everyone in the room bereaved for, save for a select few.

He set the bouquet on the wood and the loss rushed through him again, a steady beat as strong as his own heart. Hanging above the decorative arrangements and burning incense was Kikōō in his halberd, protecting his master even after her demise. Why he hadn't gone looking for a new one crossed his mind for a second but Toushirou let it go. It'd taken centuries for Hyourinmaru to find a new wielder in him; the next person to harness Kikōō's power would have to be someone equally worthy.

"Hitsugaya-taichou."

The tiny, feminine voice called out to him and he found that it matched its owner quite well. Of slight build and medium stature, it was almost impossible to see the resemblance between Kurosaki Yuzu and her sister. All they shared was a distinctive beauty as different as night and day.

He bowed low. "Yuzu-dono, it is a pleasure to meet you. Your sister spoke of you fondly and often."

It was the wrong thing to say as tears rushed to her big brown eyes, which were already rimmed red as she hiccupped on an apology. He didn't deserve it but he held his tongue.

"Ah, I'm really a mess right now. I was never very good at keeping my feelings at bay," she spoke with a humor that was endearing. "Karin-chan always said it would get me into trouble one day."

"You have nothing to say sorry for as this is a difficult time for you. In actuality the one who should be apologizing is—"

But Yuzu shook her head quickly as a determined look slipped across her usual sweetness. The resemblance to Karin was uncanny and his heart shook in its cage. "No, you will not apologize for what Aizen did to you. To us. I will not hear it."

"But it's true, I-"

"Karin-chan wouldn't blame you so neither will we." The glassiness became even glossier and Hitsugaya knew she was trying her best to keep her composure in front of him and all of these strangers. She wanted to be stronger than she was now that Karin wasn't there to be that strength for her.

Aggravated that he could do nothing else, Hitsugaya reached for the handkerchief in his pocket and handed it to her. Although surprised, Yuzu accepted it with a shaky smile, dabbing at the corner of her eyes, and sniffled until she felt ready to speak again. It was times like these that he wished he had the ability to reach out and offer comfort but he didn't handle such situations well.

"Please, you must meet my mother. And I'm sure you haven't seen Otou-chan or 'Nii-chan yet! They'll definitely be pleased to see you as I've heard that you're quite close."

"No, no, I can't." The words tumbled out in a panic. "I should be going. I have orders to write and letters to be sent out." They were in the midst of rebuilding so it was a viable excuse as flimsy as it was.

"Oh, I see."

He tried not to let her disappointment get to him but it merely added to the impossible weight on his shoulders threatening to crash to the ground. However, a reunion was the last thing on his mind right now. He wouldn't know what else to do other than get on his knees and beg for forgiveness, and even then he wasn't sure that would be enough.

Bidding Yuzu farewell, Hitsugaya was out the door a minute later, eager to escape the confines of the prying eyes and old walls. Walls that had hidden secrets and had likewise protected those of the Kurosaki family.

If they could talk he wondered what they would've said to a murderer.

* * *

><p>With the mourners leaving as the sun began to set, the Kuroskai family settled in to dine. The table was larger, fuller with the masculine presences that had disappeared for so many years, but undeniably empty. Even Ichigo was careful where he sat, opting to leave a certain place open as if it was waiting to be filled.<p>

They ate in silence for a while, not sure how to broach another topic on such a somber day. It was Yuzu who spoke up.

"Hitsugaya-taichou was here earlier. He left the prettiest bouquet of hyacinths and daffodils," she explained with strained cheer, "I didn't expect him to have such good taste. They were so lovely."

"He's a very smart boy, always has been," Masaki responded. Astonishment tickled her tired face, brightening her pale complexion. "I didn't expect him to be so forward."

"I don't understand."

"Purple hyacinths are a sign of apology while daffodils mean they hold a person in high regard," Isshin answered. The slight indent around his mouth said he was thoroughly impressed.

"It could also mean unrequited love."

Three pairs of eyes shifted to Ichigo, whose gaze was stuck to the dark oak table and his portion in front of him.

"How do you know that?" Yuzu asked, leaning forward to try and get a better look at her brother's face. Despite seeing him every day for a week now it still sometimes felt like looking at a stranger and she so desperately wanted to bridge the gap between them.

"It's part of the training that I went through when I was a kid. 'Kaa-chan made me do all the flower arrangement classes and tea ceremonies along with the tutoring sessions and physical training," Ichigo shrugged, as if the news was commonplace, "Wanted to make sure I was well-rounded or something."

"All I wanted was to culture you a bit. And sit up please, you're far too tall to be slouching, Ichigo," the matriarch warned.

He did as he was asked but not before muttering beneath his breath. More than half a century without her around but the minute he got back his mother was already on his case. The thought had a grin stretching his lips but he held it in, refusing to give her anymore satisfaction.

A laugh arrived unexpectedly, spilling in a high-pitched sound that was oddly loud in the large room. The first bit of happiness in their house for so many days, and it almost felt like betrayal, to be together and content when Karin was gone. As if it'd be so easy to forget her if they joked a little bit, shared memories, and buried the sorrow along with her casket.

It nearly strangled Yuzu, the treachery that climbed into her windpipe and made itself a home as a lump in her throat. On cue the waterworks came with it, searing her vision so it became little more than a haze of shapes and colors, and her emotions surfaced once more.

Unexpectedly, it was Ichigo who came to her then, wrapping up his baby sister in his arms for what might've been the first time ever. He imagined her to be smaller, he mused to himself, patting her head as she sobbed softly into the V of his kimono. Then again, he had also been expecting to see babies when he first stepped into his home.

His words were a wisp of comfort in her ear. "I know it's not my place to say because I didn't know her nearly as well as you did, but Karin wouldn't want your sadness, Yuzu. She wasn't the kind of person who would tolerate suffering so please don't think that you have to hold onto yours."

It did nothing to calm her cries but the flutter in her heart said that he was right. She had to be strong enough to live without Karin, strong enough to pull her family together by the frayed threads that bound them. As Masaki and Isshin linked hands, their somber expressions mirrored back at each other, the road to healing was a long, winding path with no end in sight.

* * *

><p>The summons to the Kuchiki House was to be expected but still, Ichigo saved his reservations. He was greatly indebted to Byakuya and Rukia; they'd protected his home in his absence and then some. On the other hand, he was wary of the transgressions that were to be made that day.<p>

With Karin gone and her coffin hardly settled in the ground, the Elders were already asking for retribution for their House's stake in her life. Housing her, training her, letting her move freely when she was supposed to be dead long before. As if Karin was a pawn they could move and discard as necessary.

The very notion burned his insides to the point that Ichigo had to reassure himself that he wouldn't take his anger out on his old friends. He'd save his ire for the geezers trying their best to wriggle their way into their mourning period. Screw the politics. After living outside these walls for so long he'd forgotten the niceties of bargaining but he would happily show them the things he'd learned outside of Soul Society.

Who greeted him wasn't the old man that usually acted as the Kuchiki's usher but it'd been so long since then that perhaps he'd retired. Regardless he wasn't prepared for the doors to open and in the courtyard wasn't hired help but one of the mansion's residents.

Barely reaching his shoulder even now, Ichigo held back the grin as he saw Kuchiki Rukia dressed in her shinigami robes, pacing and mumbling under her breath. Her arms were knotted behind her back, bending forward as she tracked a hole in the well-kept lawn. Her brother wouldn't enjoy his immaculate estate being anything less than perfect but Rukia had a way with him.

"Hey Rukia," he called out to his old, watching how she slowed to a halt but didn't face him. Despite getting older and maturing a bit in his absence, Ichigo still couldn't read the air. "Oi, you okay? You're acting kinda weird."

It was the wrong thing to say.

"How the hell would you know if I'm acting strangely? You've been gone for decades! You know nothing about me anymore!" Rukia yelled, making her anger known with the severe drop in temperature that contrasted with the red of her cheeks.

It was nearly enough to make Ichigo stumble back, and for a second he considered running for the gates. But if he could take on arrancar and this realm's greatest terror then a small shinigami should be a piece of cake… right?

The way she stomped over to him made him question how the ground didn't turn into caverns at her feet as Rukia used all of her meager weight to punctuate each step. Even now, years later and exponentially more powerful, Ichigo could feel the sweat bead at his temple, discomfort crawling out of hiding and prickling his skin. Aside from his mother, no one terrified him more than Kuchiki Rukia.

Standing frozen in his place, the orange-haired Kurosaki regarded his childhood playmate with uncertainty. She was forced to straighten her neck as she stared up at him, violet eyes narrowed dangerously as her lips knitted downward. An intimidating look on anyone but it was rarely found on a face as pretty as hers.

_Not that Rukia's pretty or anything_, Ichigo caught himself, feeling a heat bite into him as he dragged his gaze elsewhere. The Kuchiki princess was many things: strong, smart, terrifying, and little. But pretty? Absolutely not, she was just a brat that used to be his best friend, is all.

And they had been best friends in the truest sense. They'd grown up down the street from each other, attending the same public functions, with the same sense of humor and penchant for mischief. Even with more than six decades missing between them Ichigo had never found someone who had understood him the way Rukia had.

She stared at him a little longer, a seething fury hiding beneath that jeweled glare. He remembered it from long ago as she had used it on many of the young boys who'd sought her favor, and it made him smile fondly.

"What the hell is so funny, Ichigo? I wouldn't be laughing if I were you," Rukia spoke in a dangerously muted tone. Like she was cataloguing all his offenses against him so she could make him pay for them later. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise him in the least.

"Nothing. I'm not laughing."

"Who're you trying to kid? You better not be laughing at me, fool." She snorted decisively, as if the very notion was ridiculous. "I have half a mind to beat you into submission and drag you before the Kuchiki Elders. It wouldn't be dignified but it isn't anything less than you deserve."

Now that brought a smile to his face. "Yeah, it sounds like something you would do, Rukia."

The nervousness seeped out of his spine as he watched the shock soak into hers. And he saw how her face fell, lips parting and doe eyes going wide, her muscles losing the strength she usually held on to with everything she had. But sometimes that strength was a front, like now as he saw the glisten to her eyes and how she turned away in response.

They stood there for a moment, her staring at her slippers with fascination as he looked down at the top of her head. The guilt was written all over his face but Ichigo didn't reach for her. That wasn't what Rukia wanted and he wasn't sure he was allowed to offer it anyway.

"Kurosaki."

Both heads snapped in the direction of Byakuya's voice, the older man watching them with vague interest. But what he was thinking was no one else's to know as he gestured delicately toward the mansion.

"The Elders are waiting for you. If you've been briefed then they will see you now."

"Ah, Nii-sama, I'm sorry. I hadn't properly…" Embarrassed, Rukia flushed at her incompetence. "I was just about to tell him what the summoning was for."

"No need. I think I have an idea already."

Both of them glanced at him but Ichigo turned away. Although it had been rushed, Masaki had explained what had happened between Karin and Byakuya not too long ago. Despite wanting more details, Isshin and Ichigo had deigned to save them for another time. She was already burying her daughter; the stress of this burden could wait until the wound was less raw.

"I see. Then please follow me." Seemingly mollified by his words, Byakuya began walking towards the inner apartments of their compound, a place reserved only for those with high ranking or special permission.

Out of the corner of his eye Ichigo noticed that Rukia was tagging along and he found that strange. While officially a daughter of the Kuchiki family she had never been a part of the decision making of her house. A silent but sure way to keep her separated from the nobility that raised her, Ichigo mused, fists clenching as they made their way deep into the compound.

The journey was silent until they arrived at the hall, each of them bowing in respect before stepping into the room where the council that guided the Kuchiki clan convened. Kneeling before them Ichigo was allowed the center cushion as the siblings flanked him on each side. For reasons he couldn't shake, he had the oddest sense that he was on trial for something he'd never done as beady eyes wracked over his form and whispered in hushed, excited voices.

It was the Head Elder that spoke first. "Welcome back, Kurosaki-dono. It has been a long while yet."

"Ah. Too long, I'm afraid," Ichigo acknowledged. He was uncomfortable in this role, unused to the formal language that used to roll of his tongue with ease. How had he mastered politics as a child and grown into a man that could barely hold a conversation?

"Yes, well, while I am glad to see you return safe and with a victory under your belt, there is more urgent business that must be dealt with."

Nodding, Ichigo felt the weight of their expectance on his shoulders, an invisible pressure he'd lived so long without. That Karin had done this singlehandedly and under the guise of another name and gender was astounding. He might've been groomed for this life but it was no longer his, and he floundered for his bearings.

"As you know, your sister had made the promise of becoming Byakuya-sama's bride just before her passing." A solemn murmur filled the air as if offering their understanding. To be quite honest, he didn't care for their politeness. "But now that she is gone and the contract is still in place we are at a loss as to what we should do considering the outstanding circumstances."

"Karin has been gone for little more than a week and you want me to patch up the hole in your plans. Is that what you're asking me?" Rage bubbled at the pit of his stomach, fingers clenching in the black cloth of his _hakama_ while offended gazes fell on him. Oh yes, he'd certainly forgotten how to play nice with these old-timers. "This ain't the time to be talking to me about your problems while my family is in mourning."

A hand caught his sleeve and it was the only thing keeping him from stand up and walking out. "Ichigo, please reign in your temper," Rukia called out to him over the din of outraged voices. Disrespect was not well tolerated by a group that had only known utmost reverence for so long. "They're only going to make this more difficult for you if you fight them."

"They want me to talk about a deal while Karin hasn't been gone two weeks! How the hell am I supposed to stay calm?"

"You're absolutely right to be angry, more than justified in my opinion," she started as she slipped a sideways glare at the rows of angry faces, "but that doesn't give you enough reason to run your mouth. You know this game. It's all about survival and getting them roused up will only make it worse for you."

He wanted to bite back and say something scathing, but one look at Rukia's visage and his fight was gone. She was right—of course, Rukia had always been, even as kids—and he knew he'd have to suck it up. If a deal was what they wanted then a deal was what they'd get but they would be on his terms.

Straightening, Ichigo schooled his features into an uncomfortable line. "I apologize for my outburst. As you can tell I am grieving just as everyone else is and I'm having a hard time dealing." The words fell out in a tumble of strange inflections and he could feel they were polite at best.

The Head Elder gave an unsatisfied sniff. "While I see where you are coming from it does not excuse such behavior. You are your family's head now. You must act like it."

_Like I want to be anything like you old-fashioned, unfeeling bastards. _"Of course. I will do better to remember that."

"Good, good. As long as we have a common goal I cannot see why this cannot end pleasantly for both families," the old man wizened sagely, as if he thought himself very wise. "Now, if I may point out that the contract was broken by the Kurosaki family I believe our dealings should have rightful compensation for the trouble."

White-hot anger flowed through him so quickly it was a wonder that Ichigo wasn't in _bankai_ and taking that man's head from his shoulders. But his body had reacted instinctively, leaning forward onto his hands as if to launch himself at the crowd of overly ambitious elders. The hand that settled on his shoulder, however, had him falling back onto his haunches.

"With all due respect, Elders, this is not the way we should discuss such delicate subject matter," Rukia spoke, standing beside Ichigo's kneeling form. "A good friend and ally is gone and to treat her death like it was anything less than a tragedy is not remembering her for all that she's done, for all that she's sacrificed."

"We did not mean anything by it," one woman tried to defend them.

"Then you were going about it terribly because it was nothing but offensive. Ichigo has every right to call this contract null and void if you continue to speak to him in that manner," Rukia threatened under the softness of her voice. "While you might all be esteemed within the Kuchiki House there are several others who will stand by the Kurosak House if they wage war. Is that what you want after all the efforts we've put in to secure peace?"

"You speak out of line, child. These are dealings between Kurosaki-sama and the Kuchiki House. You are not wanted here."

Rukia recoiled as if struck, her pretty face twisting with the harsh thrust of words. The implications had always been there but to hear them out loud stole her courage, making her look down at the ground, unsure. From where he sat, Byakuya glared something lethal, so hot it could scorch skin from bone. It was enough to have the brazen old man cowering where he sat, shame-faced as he garbled words that might've been an apology.

But before Byakuya could intervene, Ichigo got there first.

"If you're so adamant about securing an alliance with the Kurosaki House, then let me make this easier," Ichigo began, getting up so he could move before Rukia. The way he covered her gave off the feeling that he was protecting her, but even that gesture didn't prepare them for his offer.

"Bind Rukia to me. That way you'll have a permanent place within the Kurosaki family and an heir if you decide none of your current successors are worthy."

"Ichigo, no!" Rukia yelled, tugging on his arm as she stared up at him desperately. "You're not thinking straight. All of the stress has built up and you're making rash decisions—"

"Anything that'll get you out of this place is as good a decision as any that I'll ever make," he interrupted but not unkindly. Still, he didn't turn back to her. "I can protect you the way they won't."

"Then it is settled," the Head Elder conceded, not bothering with Rukia's protests or Byakuya's meddling. Any opposition would be met with strict dismissals, as the group stood and bid their farewells. They'd gotten what they wanted from the Kurosaki House and then some, leaving the three of them alone until silence was their only company.

Not having the energy to deal with the sudden decision, Rukia stormed out without a word, hiding her face beneath her shoulder-length hair as she disappeared down the hall. Ichigo was tempted to go after her and apologize but Byakuya stood in his way. For all his strength, even Ichigo knew not to mess with the Fifth's captain when he was like this, authority literally coming off him in waves and underscored with a protectiveness he'd forgotten about.

"That is enough for today, Kurosaki. Please escort yourself out."

"But Rukia—"

"Will be fine." The threat of violence flashed in his charcoal eyes, glinting like a blade poised to strike. There was no doubt in his mind that no one wanted violence more than Byakuya did right at this moment.

Knowing he was beat, Ichigo made his way to the door without a word. He wound find a way to make amends with Rukia next time, he promised himself, as he clambered out the door to deliver the news.

* * *

><p><strong>AN<strong>: It is done! And I think it went quite well. More will definitely happen in the next few chapters and as for what happens with Karin? You'll have to wait and see. ;D If you guys enjoyed it (or hated it because I'm sure someone is mad at me right now), please leave a review and feed this muse of mine. Thank you for your patience, guys. You're all wonderful and I love you!

Thanks for reading, everybody! Until next time~


End file.
